The Anniversary Party (7 page)

He took a desperate swallow of beer hoping it would stoke his courage. At some point he had to get her alone and attempt to explain. To finally set to rest the idea he knew she had that he had left because he didn't love her. He had to set the record straight, not just for her, but for himself. Even if it meant a life without Kylie, it was the right thing to do. Wade was determined to do the right thing this time.

"Okay, they're at the door,” Kylie whispered to the group gathered in her living room. She kept her eye to the peephole and watched the frustration bloom on her mother's face. Her father still puttered at the car, grabbing the dishes her mom had offered to bring. Her parents never came to the door together at a party. Knowing this for a fact, Kylie had locked the door as their car had pulled up.

The doorbell sounded again and she could see Carol say something to Pat as he filled his arms with food. Another bong of the bell.

"Now she's getting mad,” Kylie whispered and she heard laughter skitter through the room.

Finally, her father stood next to her mother and he knocked briskly on the door. Kylie turned the lock and stepped back with the crowd. “Come on in! It's open!"

The door flew open and Kylie felt a joyous warmth spread through her body as the assembled family and friends shouted, “Surprise!"

And then her mother was crying, her father was shaking hands and the crowd was jostling forward to greet the couple. Kylie fell back against someone and turned. “I'm so sorry. Suddenly the room is—"

Wade steadied her with a hand, his eyes shining with humor and something else. Something just below the surface. The same look from the other night on the gazebo. “Too small,” Kylie finished on a breath.

"Everyone's excited,” he said with a smile. Wade brushed an errant lock of hair from her face and gently traced her lower lip with his thumb. “I bet you're just relieved."

Kylie's voice stuck in her throat at the feel of his skin against her mouth. The simple gesture sparked erotic images from their last meeting. His eyes gazing at her from between her parted thighs. The feel of his mouth on her...

"I have to go say hi,” she managed.

"Of course you do.” He took a swig of beer and licked foam from his upper lip. The sight of his tongue touched off a tiny shiver through Kylie's entire body.

"I need to talk to you, though, later if that's okay."

"I was about to say the same thing,” Wade said, suddenly looking unsure. Not his usual demeanor.

"Good. I'll come get you once we get the food set out and everyone's munching and mingling. I only need a minute of your time."

Wade nodded and just smiled. Kylie went to greet her parents.

"You did all this for us,” Carol Walker whispered in her daughter's ear. “No wonder you've been run down. It's gorgeous.” She sighed. “The table is spectacular and I'd bet my last dollar you made that beautiful cake."

Kylie felt herself blush. “Fawn helped,” she offered.

"She had the idea?” her mother teased.

"No, really. She pulled through when I put my foot down. We did it together."

Carol leaned in closer and gave her daughter a serious stare. “I see Wade is here. Are you okay with that? I know you'd never turn down the Sinclairs. They must have asked if he could come."

"They did. I am. And just enjoy your party. Don't worry about stuff like that. We're okay. I mean it,” she added at her mother's skeptical look. “Mingle!” Kylie laughed, shooing her. “Some of these people drove hours to celebrate your thirty years."

Fawn helped Kylie put the food out. Food covered the dining room table, the kitchen table, and the island in the middle of Kylie's country kitchen. Fawn made her plate and they stepped back to eye the party. “Looks good to me. I'd say a smashing success!” Fawn bit into a canapé and sighed. “Let me guess, you made these little bites of heaven on earth?” she said, rolling her eyes with exaggerated pleasure.

"Guilty as charged. I'm glad you like them.” Kylie scanned the room for Wade, finally spotting him in the sunroom addition of the house. He was talking to Mr. Perry, her father's former boss. Standing there by her fire, he looked like a dream come true. A man she could envision being a part of every day from here on out. He was supposed to come along with this dream house of hers. And after that would come babies, the way they had always wanted. She was sad to know that couldn't happen. That she couldn't have what her parents had. At least not with Wade.

"I was about to ask why you weren't scarfing down this food, but I have my answer. You finally gonna act like a grownup and talk to him?"

Kylie took a healthy gulp of her Merlot and set her glass down. “Right now. If I don't do it now, I may never work up the nerve again.” She started through the crowd to get Wade.

"Go on, Kylie! Get down with your bad self!” Fawn called, her words dying on a giggle.

Kylie wanted to ask her what was so damn funny.

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"Good Lord, don't look at the clutter,” Kylie said, glancing around her bedroom.
What a bloody mess.
“It's the only room I didn't get to, so I just shut the door.” Her laptop and notes for interviews and articles were strewn across the floor by her bentwood rocker. Her bed was unmade. Several outfits that she had decided against were scattered over the bed and the floor.

"Don't worry about it,” he said, eyeing the rocker that held a basket of clean laundry. “Can I sit on the bed? It seems to be—"

"The only clear surface.” Kylie giggled, her nerves helping her find humor in the situation. The most important few minutes of her life taking place in a horribly messy bedroom.
How embarrassing!

She sank down onto the bed and clutched a pillow to her abdomen. She felt sick, light-headed, and stupid all at the same time. Not a good mixture of emotions. It only got worse when Wade gently placed his hand on her thigh. A few new emotions jumped into the fray. Desire, arousal, a flood of heat between her thighs.

"Wade, I can't...” She stopped, not sure what to say. She tried to move his hand but he held it firm.

"I'm not trying to have an instant replay of the other night. I just need to touch you as I do this."

"Do what?"

"Come clean."

"So I don't have to ask? That's why I brought you up here. So I could face my demons."

"Demons,” he muttered.

"What?"

"It kills me that anything to do with me could be considered demons to you. But I guess I deserved that. I fucked up royally, Kylie."

A new emotion joined in and Kylie felt her heart jump at the flood of feeling. How could she feel sympathy for him? She should be beating him over the head with her laptop. “Why don't you just tell me what happened and then we both can get on with our lives.” She covered his hand with hers and noticed it was shaking.

Wade stood, blew out a sigh, and ran his hand through his hair. “Do you remember Jolene Watkins?"

Wade felt his heart trip hammer and the beer in his stomach rolled in a sickening wave.
Just do it. Get it over with. She deserves the truth!
He knew Kylie deserved the truth, but the thought of it putting an end, once and for all, to any chance of them being together made it nearly impossible to get the words out.

"Your ex-girlfriend?” Kylie asked, confusion on her face.

"Yes. And do you remember when you and I broke up about three months before I left?"

"Of course I remember. It was a ridiculous fight and we were only apart for a few weeks. What—” She met his eyes and her shoulders slumped, her head bowed. “Oh.” She sighed. “Oh, Wade, why didn't you ever tell me? If you two—"

"I know what you're thinking,” he said, kneeling in front of her. The look of pain on her face made it hard to breathe. Each breath was torture. “And you're right. But there's more. It's worse,” he said before he let out a harsh bark of laughter, “if that's possible."

"Go on,” Kylie's voice was almost inaudible and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. One escaped and Wade thumbed it away.

"Just let me get it all out, okay? Then you can ... whatever you want. Throw me out, hit me, kill me.” He laughed.

Her eyes met his and she nodded.

"When we were apart, I lost my mind. Cliché but true. I didn't care about anything. Not school, not football, nothing. My grades dropped in those few weeks and every college professor I had approached me and asked if everything was alright. They weren't the only ones to approach me."

"Jolene?"

"Yes. She'd been saying things off and on. Trying to remind me of all the fun we'd had together in high school before you and I started dating. Of course, I always turned her down flat. I was happy with you, Kylie,” he said, taking her hands and squeezing them, “happier than I thought possible. When we broke up I ... gave up. Jolene smelled weakness and came in for the kill. It was my fault too, of course. I should have said no. I knew I wanted us back together more than anything."

"So what happened?” He watched her bite her lip to stop the words.

"We spent about a week together.” Wade forced himself to look her in the eye. “Together ... in all respects.” When Kylie bowed her head he thought his heart would break. The tears that had only been threatening now starting to fall. “Kylie?” Goddamn, he knew this would be hard, but he had no idea how hard.

"We could have gotten past that, Wade.” Her body shook slightly as she cried and Wade smoothed her shoulders, rubbed her back. He would give anything to make her feel better. To turn back time and not screw things up so thoroughly.

"Let me just get this out,” he said. Standing, he paced. It was the only thing that calmed his nerves. He eyed Kylie. Most of her hair had spilled from her clip and she shielded her face behind the auburn fall. “Right after you and I got back together, I was happy again. On cloud nine. My grades started to go back up, my football game improved. I was
at peace
. I was right where I knew I should be. Back with you and back on track for the life we had planned together. I was still struggling with whether or not to tell you about Jolene. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for you and not for myself."

"For yourself?” Kylie snapped, the first hint of anger seeping into her voice. Wade was saddened by the sound. At one point, the only thing he had inspired in Kylie was happiness and laughter.

"I wanted to make sure I wasn't confessing to ease my own guilt. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to risk losing you again but the guilt was killing me. I know it sounds like bullshit, Ky, but I was a kid. It's no excuse, but when you're twenty, it's rare that you know what's right and what's wrong when it comes to mistakes that colossal. Hell, sometimes I don't feel like I can figure it out now let alone at that age."

"I still don't understand why you had to run off,” she said. “Why not just not tell me and go on with your life? With me."

"About a week before I decided to go, Jolene called and said she was late."

He watched the confusion on her face quickly bleed into a sickening understanding. “She was pregnant?"

"So she said. She was pregnant, I was the father. What was I going to do about it?” The need to touch her became overwhelming. Wade sank down and settled his hands on her hips. If she pushed him away, so be it. He had to at least try. Somehow, touching Kylie grounded him, helped him to think clearly. She didn't push him away, or even try to move, she simply pinned him with her gaze. There was so much in that gaze that made him feel ashamed and small. But also, so much in her eyes that gave him just the barest hint of hope. And that was all he asked. The smallest glimmer of possibility.

"I didn't see a way out. She said she was keeping the baby. Tried to get me to marry her ... but I couldn't. I told her I'd take responsibility for my child but I wouldn't get married. I couldn't marry a woman I didn't love. I'd never dreamed of marrying anyone but you, Kylie.” Wade hung his head, trying to think of how to finish. “I couldn't confess to you. I felt like I would lose you one way or another, but I couldn't stand the thought of you knowing what I'd done. Hating me for it. Of course, you ended up hating me anyway.” Wade felt a heavy weight of panic settle in his chest when she didn't either confirm or deny his statement.

"And the baby?"

"Well, I decided to go off and join the Army. I don't know why. Maybe I thought they could whip my sorry ass into shape. Maybe it was penance for ruining our future. Right before I left town, I went to the hospital and gave a sample for a paternity test when the baby was born. I sent her money to help with medical expenses and all that, but I told Jolene that I wanted confirmation that the baby was mine when it came along."

"And?” Kylie choked out the words and brushed her hair back. The pain in her eyes sent a slow wave of nausea through him.

"Excuses after excuses. Nine months passed. Then a year. Then almost a year and a half. First it was the baby was born the tests were pending. Then it was the baby was sick and the test got screwed up. Inconclusive. She needed money for the baby, hadn't I gotten the pictures? We could retest when I came back to town. She knew I couldn't just come back at the drop of a hat. I was stationed in California. Finally, I got desperate. I sent her a letter threatening to get a lawyer and sue for custody if it was proven the baby was mine.” Wade let his head fall and rest against Kylie's lap. Presumptuous of him and it would have been perfectly understandable if she kicked him in the head. He didn't care. He craved the feel of her. Angry or not.

"And?” Kylie prompted. Her voice was equal parts anger and sadness.

"She called me one night, drunk, and ‘fessed up. There was no baby. She'd done the whole thing to try to win me back and then I'd up and left. Stepped up to the bat financially, but left town."

"She kept you going for the money."

Wade nodded slowly. His head pounded and felt stuffed full of cotton. “She said she had a drug problem. All the money I sent basically went up her nose or in her veins. To make the rest of the story short, I told her that the money train had ended. And then I hung up and tried to forget she had ever existed."