The Arrangement 14 (3 page)

For a second nothing happens. Our gazes are both narrow and locked, but then Sean starts shaking. I press myself back into the seat as far as I can go, to try and put space between us, but there isn’t any. Sean’s nose is touching mine and his hot, angry breath slides over my cheeks. For a moment I think he’s going to hit me. His jaw works from side to side like he wants to scream at me, but he can’t find the right words. Both of his hands are clutching the couch behind my head and crushing it. If he moves, my slender throat will be caught in his vice-like grip and he’ll break my neck.
 

I don’t look away. I don’t breathe. For a second, time has stopped and I feel horrible. Remorse swells inside of me and
before I can tell him that I don’t want things like this, he cracks.
 

Sean Ferro breaks.
 

He screams and spins around quickly, so that I can’t see his face. His shoulders tense further before they shake. I sit up a little and listen. Sean tries to control his breathing, but he can’t. Jagged breaths choke him, and it isn’t until he turns around that I see what’s happened. His eyes are glassy and there’s a devastated smile on his beautiful mouth. “I told you that I don’t know how to do this, and that isn’t an excuse. It’s the truth. For years I’ve been completely isolated and it had to be that way. Then I met you and I’m fucked, Avery. Every time I drop my defenses, you’re the one who gets hurt. I can’t let that happen. I can’t be the man you want me to be. Too many things have happened and no matter what I do, there’s no way to change my past.”
 

“I don’t want to change you.” My words are so soft that I can barely hear them.
 

“Yes, you do. You want me to be someone I’m not. I’m a loner and I like it that way.”
 

“Sean Ferro, you’re lying to yourself. If that were true, why would you be here with me now?” I haven’t forgiven him but I’m not going to push him off his mental cliff. I shiver and Sean peels off his jacket and tosses it to me. I pull it on and wrap my arms around my middle. “Thanks.”
 

He nods. “So what now?”
 

“That’s a good question. What do you want?”
 

“The same thing I’ve always wanted—you.”
 

I smile sadly and shake my head. “Those are nice words, but the other fiancée will be pissed when she finds out
about me. Maybe things are better this way.”
 

“Avery.” He tries to cut me off, but I don’t let him because it’s too hard to say and once I start I can’t stop.
 

Tears roll down my cheeks, one and then the other. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. “No, I’m serious. Maybe you and I are supposed to be friends. Maybe we’re supposed to be nothing at all. Sometimes a person shows up when you need them most and disappears from your life. Maybe that guy is you. I needed you Sean and now—”
 

“Avery,” Sean takes a hold of my shoulders and crouches in front of me. “I’m not marrying someone else. And if you say that you don’t need me…don’t say it. Not right now.” His voice picks up a quiver as he finishes speaking.
 

“You don’t have to sugar coat things for me.”
 

“I’m not. Listen to me. I was trying to tell you and I thought I had more time, but then Black showed up and blurted it out. I gave a ring to someone because my publicist said it would make people think I was more approachable. She has a rock on her finger and lives in one of my houses, but I’m never there. Things aren’t like that with her. Jamie is actually an employee. She’s on payroll, Avery.” I’m shaking my head as he’s speaking, but he keeps going. “Call her. Tell her who you are. Ask her if you should marry me.” Sean hands me his phone and before I can say no, it’s already dialing.
 

A high-pitched voice answer, “Good morning, Mr. Ferro. How can I help you today?” She sounds like a secretary.
 

Sean nods once, but I can’t form words, so he says, “Jamie, please tell Avery the status of our relationship. Don’t leave anything out and use as many details as you like. Don’t hold anything back.” Sean hands me the phone again.
 

I press it to my ear and listen to this woman repeat Sean’s story, but from her side of things. “I was so lucky. Mr. Ferro paid off my student loans and said I just needed to go to dinner with him when he was in town. People were mean to me at first, but money talks. Sean gave me a spending account and told me to walk around, shop, and dine, and tell people who I was. It was part of an attempt to sway the public opinion of him. You see, I do a lot of charity work. I love it and I always wanted to work for a non-profit, but there was no way to pay back my loans. Mr. Ferro made that possible and I don’t care what the papers say, he’s not a monster. The man’s been through a lot. So what if he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, you know?”
 

“Yeah, I know.” My chest is so tight that I can hardly breathe. “So it’s a charade?”
 

“Exactly. Our relationship is one hundred percent business and always has
been. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not, but he has a type—brunettes with brains. I tease him because I’m a redhead and occasionally act a little too blonde for his liking.” She laughs lightly. “There’s nothing between us, Avery. It’s all a show and always has been.”
 

I don’t know what else to say. She seems genuine, and what’s even more shocking is she seems to care about Sean, like they’re friends. Looking at the carpet, I say, “Thank you for talking to me.”
 

“Sure! Call any time.” The line goes dead and I hand Sean his phone.
 

For a second I feel horrible, but it fades. I’m still angry with him. “Come clean, here and now. Everything. Dump it on the table and let’s see if we can pick up the pieces.”
 

Sean nods solemnly. “All right, but not here.”
 

At that moment, Black walks in and takes in the scene. There’s a ton of tension and I’m standing in front of Sean, wearing his leather jacket, looking up into his beautiful face. She rolls her eyes and sighs dramatically. “Well, Avery, let’s have your answer.”
 

Miss Black smirks at Sean after she’s seated behind her desk. A dark eyebrow lifts when Black takes in Sean’s confusion, and her ruby lips spread into a smile. “Didn’t she tell you? I offered to make her a madam.”
 

Sean just stares at me and then stares at Black. “We had an agreement.”
 

“This doesn’t violate our arrangement in the slightest. She’ll still live in New York, but her occupation will be somewhat different. If you two are no longer engaged, I don’t see how it concerns you anyway.” Miss Black thinks she’s won. The confidence in her gaze says as much. Tapping her fingertips together, she looks over at me.
 

As I stare at Black, things click into place. She’s been telling lies, but they’re always seeded with truth. Sean is engaged to someone else, and he is, but the woman is an employee. This entire time Black has been trying to get me to turn on Sean. For a second, I think about screaming at her,
but it’s better if she underestimates me, so I play along. “What happens if I say no?”
 

Miss Black drops her hands and sits straight up. “That wouldn’t be a prudent move.”
 

I laugh. “Nothing about this job is prudent, and the one you’re offering is even worse on the moral scale of life.”
 

“You already broke the scale when you took money for fucking Mr. Ferro, so I doubt that’s a sincere concern. What you should be asking is, ‘what happens if I say yes?’”
 

Folding my arms across my chest, I tug Sean’s supple jacket tighter. “If I say yes, you have an easy out when the police come looking for the owner of that bracelet. If it leads back here and you’re gone, they’re going to blame me for the dead girl in Sean’s room. I may look stupid, but believe me, I’m not.”
 

Sean moves behind me and sits down so that only Black and I are standing. He’s fuming, but he doesn’t speak. This is my mess and he lets me fight my battle.
 

Miss Black’s lips curl into an amused grin. “I think you’re juvenile and naïve, but not lacking in intelligence. The bracelet in the hotel room wasn’t your friend’s. It belonged to the dead girl. I sent her over to check on things and something went wrong. No one will track that bracelet back here, and if they do, we’re all screwed anyway. Although I try to leave no trails that point back here, there are still signs.”
 

I need more time to process the information. This is news to me. “And if I say yes?”
 

She grins broadly. “Then you will become my protégé and make more money than you ever thought possible. You’ll own Long Island because every politician and bureaucrat will come calling, and when they do, you’ll have them by the balls. It’s
a pretty place to be, Avery. And with the girl-next-door charm you have, combined with the can-do attitude, you’ll own Nassau and Suffolk County. You’ll never have to worry about money again. You’ll always have a roof over your head and it doesn’t matter that your parents left you destitute.”
 

The comment about my parents slices through me and leaves my jaw hanging open. It feels like she sucker-punched me in the stomach. There’s no air. My parents didn’t leave willingly. They did everything they could for me when they were alive, but now they’re gone and I’m alone. If things don’t work out with Sean, I’m screwed. I have no plan B and everything I’ve worked so hard for has been torched. My life is comprised of cinders, ash, and tears. And I’m so ready to move on, so desperate to shirk the grief and pain, that her offer sounds tempting.
 

“Enough.” Sean stands and takes my hands, before pulling me toward the door.
 

“I think she’s able to make up her own mind, Mr. Ferro.”
 

Sean glances back at Black. “I know what she’s capable of,” he smirks, “You’re the one who needs to look out.”
 

I pull out of Sean’s grip and look back at Black. “I can make up my own mind, Sean. I don’t need you to protect me here, and maybe it’s not a bad idea. If I say yes, will I have my own bodyguards the way you do?”
 

Black’s smile turns sincere as she nods. “Of course, and Gabe will be one of them. I already know you’re comfortable with him.”
 

I nod, and contemplate what she’s saying. Sean is standing next to me and looks completely shocked. “You’re not seriously considering this?”
 

“I owe her a freaking fortune, so I can’t leave.”
 

“I’ll pay it, Avery.”
 

“You can’t. It’s my mess.” I glance over at Black behind her desk. “You paid my medical bills too, didn’t you?”
 

“Of course. I couldn’t have collectors examining one of my girls. I added it to your tab. That debt would vanish in a matter of weeks if you took the job I’m offering. And remember, I only offer it once.”
 

The wheels in my head are spinning fast. “Can I take Mel?”
 

Black smirks. “No, I want you starting over and hiring the kind of woman you are, not more who are like Mel.” Because Mel’s a dime a dozen is implied by her tone.
 

“You’re wrong about her.”
 

“Regardless, I own her, like I own you. The question is will you continue to work on your back or do you thirst for something more?”
 

I don’t know what to say. Part of me wants to say yes, but the other part wants to take Sean up on his offer to pay off my debt. The truth is, I don’t want to owe either of them anything. I need to go look for that buried treasure on Oak Island or something. I’m so screwed. This is a life changing moment, but it’s not one I welcome. “I don’t—” I don’t know what I’m going to say… I just start speaking.
 

Miss Black lifts her hand and cuts me off. “Don’t decide now. One thing at a time. Let’s put the person who’s trying to shoot you in the ground, and then we can move forward with our business plans.”
 

Sean is silent. We drive east in his little black sports car and neither of us speaks, but I welcome the silence. Once we talk, things will end in one of two ways—we’ll be together or we won’t. I honestly don’t know what I want. This man has darkness in his blood. It’s part of who he is and no matter how much I love him, it will always be there. I doubt I can handle that. Having sex in the box made me realize that side of him is still alive and craving domination. No, it’s more than that. He wants to own me and control everything I do.
 

Black’s offer is so similar, but so different. If I say yes to her, then she’ll control me, but that feels more like a job and the money I make is mine. With Sean,
I feel like a moocher. Freeloading isn’t my style, but I’m too poor and I’ve run out of options. Stay with the lying psycho or work for the other lying psycho.
 

Maybe I should buy a tent with the last of my money and become a hermit. I can camp out at Hecksher Park and steal hotdogs from other campsites. Why do all my plans suck? Before I can even think about it, we pull into the strip club parking lot. Sean cuts the engine and gets out. I kick open my door before he can walk around, and then slam it shut. I follow him to the door.
 

He knocks loudly. Trystan yanks the metal door open and stands in the doorway. He smirks when he sees Sean. “Need something, Ferro?”
 

“Not from you, you little shit.” Sean tries to shoulder past him, but Trystan won’t move.
 

“Nah ah.” He waggles his finger in Sean’s face. “Where are your manners? Your mother would be appalled.”