The Art of Empathy (53 page)

Newberg, Andrew.
Why We Believe What We Believe: Uncovering Our Biological Need for Meaning, Spirituality, and Truth.
New York: Free Press, 2006.

Ramachandran, V. I., and Sandra Blakeslee.
Phantoms in the Brain: Probing the Mysteries of the Human Mind.
New York: Quill William Morrow, 1998.

Sacks, Oliver.
Hallucinations.
New York: Knopf, 2012.

Sacks, Oliver.
The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat: And Other Clinical Tales.
London: Duckworth, 1985.

Tavris, Carol, and Elliot Aronson.
Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts.
New York: Harcourt, 2008.

SHADOW WORK AND MYTHOLOGY

Barks, Coleman.
The Essential Rumi.
San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1995.

Bly, Robert.
A Little Book on the Human Shadow.
San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1988.

Johnson, Robert.
Owning Your Own Shadow.
San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1993.

Meade, Michael.
The Water of Life: Initiation and Tempering of the Soul.
Seattle: GreenFire Press, 2006.

Somé, Malidoma.
The Healing Wisdom of Africa.
New York: Viking, 1999.

Somé, Malidoma.
Ritual: Power, Healing, and Community.
Portland, OR: Swan Raven, 1993.

Somé, Sobonfu. Welcoming Spirit Home. Novato, CA: New World Library, 1999.

Storr, Anthony, ed. The Essential Jung. New York: MJF Books, 1983.

Zweig, Connie, and Jeremiah Abrams, eds.
Meeting Your Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature.
New York: Tarcher/Putnam, 1991.

Index

ableism,
12
,
291

action-requiring neurological programs,
59–64
,
84
,
89
,
295

activism,
41–42
,
146
,
267–280
,
282

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder),
56
,
190
,
223

affective empathy,
24
,
35
,
293

affirmations,
123–125

The Age of Empathy: Nature's Lessons for a Kinder Society
(de Waal),
294
,
299

ageism,
12

altruism,
289–290

ambivalence,
78

ambivalent friends,
177

anger,
7–8
,
45
,
58
,
190
,
225
,
232
,
234–236
,
275
,
283
,
297

activism and,
269–270

bullying and,
239–242

channeling of,
68–70

contentment and,
74–75
,
79

Defining Your Boundaries with,
69
,
73
,
84
,
90–92
,
98
,
111–114
,
193–194

empathic definition of,
62
,
63
,
73
,
84
,
90–93

expression and repression of,
67–68
,
71

in flowchart,
97–98

in emotion play,
225
,
232

in empathic communication,
193–194

secondhand,
79–80

weasel words for,
201

Angry Amanda,
255

anorexia nervosa,
152

antipathy,
24
,
273

antisocial emotions,
64–65
,
70–71

antisocial personality,
22
,
36
,
37
,
163
,
167
,
291–292

anxiety,
14
,
45
,
58
,
76–77
,
92
,
170
,
252
,
284
,
296

activism and,
268–269

aggravated by stillness meditation,
57

channeling your emotions and,
135–136
,
225

Conscious Questioning for,
135–136
,
195
,
203
,
224–225

empathic definition of,
75
,
85–86

in emotion play,
232

in empathic communication,
195

procrastination and,
75
,
85–86
,
132–136
,
195
,
252

reframing,
131–136

shyness and phobias and,
236–238

stress and,
199

weasel words for,
202

see also
worry

apathy,
23

empathic definition of,
84–85

in emotion play,
232

in empathic communication,
194

weasel words for,
201

see also
boredom

Are You the One for Me?
(De Angelis),
176–179
,
300

Ariely, Dan,
271
,
298
,
301

artistic expression,
144–147
,
243–244

Einfühlung and,
144–145
,
186
,
282

asexual.
See
GLBTAQ.
Attention (emotional style dimension),
56–57

compatibility with loved ones and,
170
,
172

empathic mindfulness skills and,
106
,
111
,
116
,
121
,
126

shyness and phobias and,
237

therapeutic suggestions for,
288

attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD),
56
,
190
,
223

aura,
109

autism spectrum,
22
,
31
,
190
,
273
,
281
,
290–291

Concern for Others and,
37

Einfühlung and,
24–25

Emotion Contagion and,
31

enforced eye contact and,
223

hyperempathy and,
22
,
37
,
163
,
221–224
,
236
,
290
,
292
,
293

self-soothing and,
219–224

sensory hyperawareness and,
223–224
,
236
,
290

stims and,
223–224

tantrum-like behaviors and,
236

autistic, identity-first usage,
22
,
290–291

babies and empathy development,
39–40
,
108–109
,
167
,
213–220
,
291–292
,
294

Begley, Sharon,
53
,
287
,
299
,
301

Beyoncé,
160
Bischof-Köhler, Doris,
29
,
108–109
,
130
,
166
,
290
,
292

bisexual.
See
GLBTAQ.

Blakeslee, Matthew,
109
,
299
,
301

Blakeslee, Sandra,
109
,
299
,
301

bodhisattva,
23

bodily–kinesthetic intelligence,
50

The Body Has a Mind of Its Own
(Blakeslee and Blakeslee),
109
,
299
,
301

body language,
5
,
10
,
28
,
33
,
46
,
188–189
,
222
,
292

borderline personality,
22
,
291

boredom,
84
,
194
,
201
,
285

see also
apathy

Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential – and Endangered
(Perry and Szalavitz),
214
,
300

boundary definition,
90–91
,
108–114
,
128–131
,
142
,
165

anger and,
69
,
73
,
84
,
90–92
,
98
,
193–194

bullying and,
240–242

for children,
225–226
,
227

rejuvenation practice and,
126–127

tantrums and,
234–235

thresholds and,
157–161

see also
Defining Your Boundaries

boys and empathy,
19–22
,
37
,
228–230
,
281
,
290

Bratman, Stephen,
152
,
297

Breithaupt, Fritz,
298

broccoli and Goldfish crackers study,
39–40
,
294

bullying,
51
,
229
,
239–242

contentment and,
198
,
233
,
240–242

workplace and,
254

Burning Contracts,
114–119
,
130
,
172–173
,
176

caveat about use with children,
227

emotion work and,
251

guilt and,
74
,
194

hatred and,
85
,
194–195

shame and,
74
,
194

see also
contract burning

Burton, Robert,
94
,
301

channeling your emotions,
68–71
,
114–118
,
120–123

aggression and,
242

anger and,
68–70

anxiety and,
135–136
,
225

artistic expression and,
144–146

clustered emotions,
77–81
,
196
,
197
,
231
,
269

cognitive behavioral therapy,
56
,
89
,
287

cognitive-boundary effect,
247–248
,
297

cognitive empathy,
24
,
35
,
293

compassion,
17–18
,
29

fatigue,
270

spiritual traditions and,
23

compassionate listening practice,
202–204

Concern for Others,
27
,
36–38
,
175
,
294

bullying and,
240

compatibility with loved ones and,
167

development in babies and children,
214
,
216–217
,
233

empathic mindfulness skills and,
106
,
116
,
125

shame as intrinsic aspect of,
225–226

conflict culture,
273–274

confusion,
86
,
170

in emotion play,
232–233

in empathic communication,
195

sympathy–empathy,
17
,
23–24
,
295

Conscious Complaining,
120–123
,
127
,
203
,
251

for children,
224

versus positive affirmations,
123–125

Conscious Complaining with a Partner,
191–193
,
297

Conscious Questioning for Anxiety,
135–136
,
195
,
203

for children,
224–225

contentment,
74–75
,
79
,
124
,
296
bullying and,
239–242

empathic definition of,
88

in emotion play,
233

in empathic communication,
198

inflated,
198
,
240–241

weasel words for,
202

contract burning,
114–119
,
130
,
172–173
,
176
,
227
,
251

see also
Burning Contracts

cuddling,
19
,
44
,
151
,
228
,
235

Damasio, Antonio,
59–64
,
74
,
94
,
193
,
226
,
295
,
296
,
299
,
301

dark side of empathy,
272–277

David and Rosalie,
183–184
,
185–186
,
193–197

Davidson, Richard J.,
49
,
53–58
,
101
,
103
,
163
,
167–170
,
237
,
287–288
,
299
,
301

see also
Emotional Style dimensions

daya
,
23

De Angelis, Barbara,
177–178
,
300

Defining Your Boundaries,
108–114

anger and,
69
,
73
,
84
,
90–92
,
98
,
193–194

bullying and,
240–242

for children,
225–226
,
227

rejuvenation practice and,
126–127

tantrums and,
234–235

thresholds and,
157–161

see also
boundary definition

Dement, William,
149–150
,
300

depression, major,
91
,
98
,
190
,
285

depression, situational, x,
61
,
92
,
97–98
,
118
,
123–125
,
285
,
296

empathic definition of,
87