The Babysitter (4 page)

The moments when the kids go to sleep and I stand in the kitchen, preparing tomorrow’s breakfast are the worst. Blake picks those instances to go to the fridge and stand in the open doorway longer than a normal person would, as if he just craves a few seconds in my space.

I never complain.

Although those are the hardest moments in the day, I long for those seconds of him next to me, inhaling my scent and remembering how my flesh felt when he caressed it during our kiss.

Tonight, we stand there in that same type of instance. Side by side, he faces the fridge, I'm turned in the opposite direction as I chop mangoes. The fresh fragrance of ripe fruit saturates the air. It's sensual when I breathe the fruit's aroma and Blake's herbal scent in the air. I'm licking my lips and fingers, trying to taste all of the ripe juices as they glitter on my hands. Natural sugary sweetness captivates my tongue.

He's been standing there longer than the other times, at least five minutes now. I peek to make sure he's okay and freeze, realizing that he's watching me.

“What's wrong?” I ask, unsure of whether it's a good time to bring up my severance package. He hasn't said anything to me about my resignation, mainly because I'd been avoiding him.

Is now a good time?

“Nothing's wrong.” He directs his gaze back to the refrigerator.

Although I should leave it alone, I ask anyway, “Why were you looking at me?”

“I was looking at the mangoes.”

Sure you were.

I slice a tender part of the fruit, pick it up, and turn his way. The warm juice drips down my fingers. “Do you want some?”

“Yes.” But he doesn't grab it with his hand like I expected, he leans my way and takes a bite of the fruit. His lips brush my fingertips. And just like that, my body comes alive—blood rushes, nipples harden, and my clit aches to be touched.

When will he stop having this effect on me?

I should step away and turn around, but I'm too needy for his touch. I bring my fingers to his parted lips. The fruit's nectar decorates each tip. “Isn't the juice sweet? Try it.”

Again, he surprises me. He puts that sexy mouth to my two fingers and sucks. Heat and his softness encase my flesh. I'm shivering against him and needing more. Our eyes meet. There's no doubt he can see the lust swimming within mine, he would have to be an idiot to not witness how much control he has over me, how much I've totally lost myself to him. Even as I boldly resigned, half of me hoped, each day that he would demand I stay.

He never did, and it broke me apart.

Taking my fingers out of his mouth, I wrap my arms around him and get on the tip of my toes. He brings my lips to him. Soft sounds flee our exploring mouths. The fridge and mangoes are forgotten. The kids are asleep and Janet isn't home. Anything can happen and the fact that we've both probably been avoiding each other doesn't press on my thoughts. My pussy's greedy when he's involved and she hasn't even had a taste of him yet.

“Five minutes alone with you and I can't keep my mouth off of you.” He searches my body with his hands, groaning even louder than my moaning. His fragrance drenches my skin and clings to my tongue. I can taste the bitterness of wine as well as his special flavor and I relish in it with pleasant little murmurs of excitement.

“How did I ever keep my hands off of you before?” He lifts me up onto the counter. “How the hell did I go a whole year without being inside of you?”

“You don't like to give yourself what you need.” I spread my legs, but don't lift up my dress.

He places his hands on my thighs and squeezes the flesh. “You're what I need?”

“Yes, but you'll never believe it yourself.”

“You're right. I won't.” He seizes my bottom lip and sucks. Longing drums a rhythmic pattern within, starting right at my mouth, taking it's time with the beat, tapping away at all of my erogenous zones, and making my toes curl. “Why would such a beautiful, young woman desire such an old man like me?”

“How could I not? You look just as young as me and you're the most sexiest man I've ever seen.”

Sighing, he lands another kiss on my chin. “Because you're twenty. Even now, you should be off at campus, hanging with fraternity lug heads and partying your life away.”

“In my teen years, I partied enough for a whole lifetime.”

He tilts away. “For a whole lifetime?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me about these teen years.” He rubs his hands up and down the sides of my thighs, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else or even go back to my corrupt mistakes.

“I usually don't tell my boss about those years.”

“Clearly I'm not acting very boss-like right now. Let your guard down.”

I shrug. “I guess it doesn't matter now anyway, since I won't be your babysitter after next week.”

His smile transforms into a frown, but he doesn't say anything. I go ahead and tell him my story.

“A drunk driver hit my mom as she walked across the street one night. It happened right before I entered high school. I'd never known my dad so when Mom died, I came to Miami from New York to live with my grandparents. I was so mad at the world and became the very definition of a party girl. I did lots of drugs, stayed out all night, and barely came home.” I get off the counter realizing the moment, whatever it was, had ended. “The only thing I did right, was go to school. No matter how drugged up I was, I dragged myself to class and made sure I graduated. The fact that Mom would've been so disappointed that I didn't, was enough to keep me going.”

He smiles. “You did graduate and now you're in college. She would've been proud of you. What about your grandparents? Do you still visit them a lot?”

“Both my grandparents died the day after my graduation.”

“I'm so sorry.” He tried to hold me, but I moved away, not desiring his pity. “I had no idea you had lost so many people in your lifetime.”

“It's been over three years now. I'm okay. Besides, my graduation day was one of the best days of their life. I remained sober and celebrated all night with them, playing cards and singing old rock and roll songs. Before they went to bed, they told me how proud of me they were and to continue with my education and if I did, I would get everything I ever dreamed of. They died in their sleep that night.” I held my hand up. “I'm okay with it. They're resting in peace together just like they always wanted it.”

“You're strong.”

“No. I just remember something my grandma would always say. No matter what you're going through, there's probably someone out there that has it even worse. When you think of it that way, I really didn't have it so bad. I was loved and taken care of.”

“When did you stop doing drugs?”

“The day they died. I had no one else and knew that if I continued down my party girl path, I'd be one of those drugged-up women prowling the streets in downtown Miami and handing out sex for cash. I checked myself into a drug rehab center and used the little money my grandparents left me to pay for it. I'm three years clean.”

“Congratulations.” He quirks his eyebrows. “All this time, I've never asked you your college major or what you want to be.”

“I have no idea yet, for now I'm just loving the ability to learn. I'm only taking courses to meet my general requirements.”

“Then I'll make sure your severance package makes sure you can take your time learning.”

“How much will it be?”

He sighs, digs his hands into his pockets, and places a folded paper into my hand. “Here it is. I've been waiting for a good time to give this to you. I considered maybe putting it in a card and sliding it under your door like a coward, but I was too scared to even do that.”

“Why were you so scared?”

“My hands itch to touch you every time you walk by me. These last few days have been hell not seeing your face or hearing your soft voice.”

Pretend he isn't saying this. Don't think about it too long. He's not mine to have. He won't let me.

Averting my gaze from him, I open the check up. He's signed it over to me, but where the amount is supposed to be, he left it blank. “You didn't put any numbers there. Why not?”

“I want you to fill that out. You saved me and my kids' lives. You let me taste heaven even if it was just a few seconds of our entangled lips. How do I come up with an amount for all of that?”

I turn my head to him. “I don't know what to write down?”

“Figure out the total you'll need for the next two years and write that down.”

I cover my mouth. “Blake, that's too much.”

“You walked away.”

“What?” I tense.

“I told you that we couldn't continue what I tried to explore with you the first time I kissed those lips, and you walked away.” He edges back until he's leaning against the sink on the other side of the fridge. “You should've left. Don't get me wrong. I understand more than you know, but watching you leave me next to your room was the hardest thing I had to swallow in years.”

I bite my lip.

“Do you know that I almost raced down those stairs, picked you up, and took us away from it all. I just wanted to escape with you away from this crazy predicament I've somehow gotten us in.”

My heartbeats speed up. “I would've left with you and not looked back.”

“But then I would've regretted leaving my kids.”

“And your wife.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I don't think so. I'm not sure anymore.”

“Sure of what?”

“If I'm making a mistake with watching you walk out of my life, or doing the right thing by staying true to my family.”

“You're doing the right thing, Blake.” I gulp in my own sadness, place my back to him, and gather up the breakfasts I prepared. “Don't second guess it. You're making the right decision.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you're happy, right?” Irritation laces my voice. I can't even glance his way.

“Doing the right thing doesn't always mean the person will be happy. It just means that someone will be happy.”

“Then who's happy?” That little hint that tears may begin sparks at my eyes. I hurry with what I'm doing and focus on not crying. I've gotten over many things in my life. I'll get over him. “Who's happy now, Blake?”

“The kids.”

I could have countered with all the thoughts that had been crowding my mind. I didn't know if the kids were truly happy with Janet's return or not. Alyssa tossed her mother skeptical looks whenever they saw each other. Sammy maintained his distance from her. I didn't get how Blake defined happiness, but I promised myself to no longer worry about him or his sweet kids.

There will be a new babysitter soon.

I set the check on the counter next to him. “Figure out a suitable severance package for a babysitter being released and I'll take that. I won't write some number down to make you feel better with yourself.”

He grabbed me before I could walk off. “The money would only make me feel good to know that you're out there and safe, as well as not being taken advantage of by another old prick that you babysit for.”

“You didn't take advantage of me. I desired you the first time I came to interview.” I covered his whole body with my gaze. “I long for you now.”

“Paige—”

“Don't. I know what you're going to say, you can't, and frankly I've lost all my energy to try and get you to take a chance on me. If I exert anymore then I'll lose the only bits of me I have left.” I shrug. “Just tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“Why did you suck on my finger just now? Why do you taunt me and than turn around and remind me that we can't be more than what we've always been?”

“Because I couldn't stand next to you another second without putting my tongue somewhere on your body,” he whispers.

“I wish you would just let go and take me. Just one time, give me what I want. You started this crazy thing and now it’s bubbling inside of me and pleading to get out. If you won't love me like I beg, then at least have the decency to fuck me.”

He opens his mouth in shock.

I roll my eyes. “You won't even do that, will you?”

“Of course not.”

“I bet someone is giving it to Janet right now.”

“Stop it.”

I move away.

“Do you understand what you're asking, Paige? You want me to fuck you and just have both of us walk away?”

“Yes.”

“What would you do right now if I tried?”

“I would take it.” I lick my lips. “I would take your dick, anywhere in this house or outside in this crazy world. I'd take you in my mouth, in this wet pussy, or in my ass if you beg me for it.”

He charges my way and seizes my waist. “Damn you. Don't say that.”

“It's the truth. Even now I'm soaking wet for you.” I squeeze my damp thighs together and gain no relief from the humming from my clit.

He picks me up, sets me right back on the counter, and lifts my dress up to my waist. “You keep talking like this, Paige and I'm going to go against all sanity and test that out.”

I spread my legs open as he touches the border of my red panties. “Don't even think about touching me there if you won't follow through.”

He shifts that blue gaze to me. “I shouldn't. . .”

I close my eyes. “Then walk away.”

“I can't.” The soft pads of his fingers smooth against the flesh bordering my panties. He pushes his fingers under the fabric.
Oh damn you, Blake.
I gasp as he yanks the material back, revealing my throbbing bud. Air lathers my sex with attention, causing everything to shiver.

“Look at that pink little pussy staring back at me.” He strums my clit, one heavenly stroke that triggers lush waves of lust to flow through me.

I let my head fall back. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” He moves away from my clit and thrusts his finger inside of me. “All this time you've been walking your sweet little pussy around me, and I've been trying to do the right thing.”

In and out, his finger slips in and out. I can barely comprehend what he's saying. He wrenches my dress down with his other hand. The fabric rips. My breasts wobble out, those pink nipples point his way.

“Will you do the right thing now?” I ask, praying he'll never stop his finger.

“No. What I'm going to do is very wrong, but I don't care. I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll never get me out of your head, even when you're long gone and off living the life that's meant for you.” He snares my breast with his mouth and flicks my nipple with his tongue.