Authors: Evan Kelsey
I squealed and
ran to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I’m so proud of
you!” I couldn’t help but yell at how excited I was.
“
Emilie! Hurting me!” Austin breathed and I quickly pulled
myself off of him.
“
Sorry, I’m just so happy for you!” I smiled sheepishly
grabbing hold of his hand.
He squeezed mine
back and smiled up at me. “Thanks. You know for everything you have
done.”
I ruffled his
hair. “Of course!” I looked at everyone and then back to Austin
putting my hand up to my mouth so only he could see it. “I
obviously like you better than Jared.” I winked and then squealed
when I felt someone tickling my sides.
“
You
do now?” Jared held me tightly as he kept tickling my stomach and I
started laughing with tears running down my face.
“
Kids!
Not in here!” Mrs. McKingsley scolded us while hugging Timmy into
her side.
“
Sorry.” We both mumbled. I kind of forgot we were in a
Courthouse even though it was a painful hour just sitting in the
waiting room wondering what was going on behind the closed
doors.
“
I say
we go out and celebrate.” Mr. McKingsley offered. “Austin is safe
and the assho—I mean the jerks that hurt him are now in the judges
hands.”
“
What
a great idea.” Mrs. McKingsley agreed and then turned to me.
“Emilie, sweetie why don’t you see if you parent’s would like to
join us?”
I couldn’t deny
their request because after about two weeks of going to court for
Austin we have finally got those jerks taken care of and that
dinner that my mom asked to have, still hadn’t had happened.
“Sure.” I finally responded.
“
Actually we won’t be able to make it.” Jared spoke
up.
I frowned at him.
“How come? We don’t have anything planned and this is for your
brother.” Austin meant everything to Jared. Why would he ditch a
celebrity dinner for Austin?
Jared turned to
me. “I know but there is something I have to do with you.” Then he
faced his parent’s. “How about we do a dinner but Emilie will call
her parents and tell them to come to our house. We will meet
everyone there. We should only be gone for two hours at the
most.”
“
What
do you have to do?” Mr. McKingsley questioned looking at us with
suspicion.
“
Yeah
what do we have to do?” I asked because I never recalled Jared
saying we were doing something that day.
“
I
can’t tell you. It’s a surprise!” He grunted grabbing hold of my
hand. “Two hours, I promise!” he started dragging me towards the
entrance of the Courthouse while his mother was shouting behind us
but Jared being Jared just ignored her.
Just as my
seatbelt clicked into lock position Jared slammed on the gas and we
were on the road. “You know, you just sped out of a Courthouse?” I
replied sarcastically.
He turned to me
smirking. “I’m too good looking to go to jail babe.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Please, you’re not even that hot. Now Josh Hutcherson… mhhm… the
things I would do to him.” I moaned closing my eyes and throwing my
head back into the headrest.
“
Oh,
do you mean the things you do to me in bed?” Jared shot back
running his hand up my thigh.
I sent him a
dirty smirk. “Even dirtier.” I licked my lips and watched as Jared
gulped. “Ropes, handcuffs and whipped cream would be
involved.”
“
Are
you serious!?” Jared shouted looking at me with wide eyes. “Why
don’t you ever want to do that with me?”
I bite my lip
probably looking seductive when really I was just trying to hold
back my laughter. “Well, if you tell me where we are going, then I
might use that stuff with you.”
Jared shot me a
death glare. “Nice try Emilie. No amount of handcuffs, whipped
cream or whips will get me to tell you. You will just have to
wait.”
“
I
never said anything about whips!” I cried.
He licked his
hips giving me a dirty stare. “Sorry babe, guess I threw in what
I
want to use.”
“
Pervert.”
Twenty minutes
later, Jared announced that we were five minutes away. I had no
idea where we were or where he was taking me. The whole road had
been silent and now I was starting to get nervous.
Jared took a left
and the first thing my eyes caught onto was a huge water fountain
with an angel in the middle and the water shooting out of the
mouth. Then the signs words hit me. Hard.
Mental Illness
Care Center.
“
Jared…” My voice was choked and I felt my whole body go
numb.
“
Austin got his closure and now you deserve yours.”
My whole body was
shaking as Jared parked the car and got out. I stayed seated even
as he opened my door and un-buckled my seatbelt. Slowly he lifted
me from the seat and closed the door behind me. Immediately, I fell
against the car not being able to hold myself up.
“
Emilie!” Jared cried in shock, grabbing me.
I pushed him off
of me and started yelling. “Why the fuck would you bring me
here!?”
“
Hey.”
He grabs my hands but I pull them out of his grip. “Hey.” This time
he grabs my face and holds me in place. When I stop struggling he
softy said. “I’m not going to leave your side. I just think this
will be good for you Emilie. Closure is always the best
thing.”
“
Jared, I can’t.”
He looks me in
the eye. “Yes, you can.”
Ten minutes later
and I’m standing in front of a white door with a plaque on the side
that read: Conner Hanglinton. The nurse opened the door and ushered
us in. I clung to Jared’s hand because I knew without his support I
would collapse.
Conner was
sitting up in his bed with the television on and looked at us when
he heard the door open. I turned my back to him when our eyes meet
and felt the vomit coming up my throat. His face. His eyes. Him. I
couldn’t look.
“
Emilie?” His voice. I slowly faced him and his smile
brightened. “You’re here?”
“
Yes.”
My voice was croaky and breathless. How hadn’t I collapsed yet? I
felt Jared’s hand tightened around mine and then I remembered.
Jared was here for me and wouldn’t let anything happen to me.
Conner sat up
straighter and pointed to the chairs near his bed. “Sit down.” His
eyes landed on Jared and he frowned for a bit. I freeze and waited
to see if he would explode. “Both of you have a seat.”
I looked at Jared
with worry but he moved me forward and we both took our seats. Not
once did Jared let go of my hand.
Conner gave us a
smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You guys are together
now?”
“
Yes.”
Jared answers confidently, his thumb rubbing over my
knuckles.
Conner nods his
head and stares out the window. Silence falls over us but I don’t
say anything because I had nothing to say. Actually, I was too
terrified to open my mouth.
“
I
guess that’s good.” Conner locks eyes with me. “You deserve someone
who can treat you well.”
I felt the air
leave my body at his words. “Conner… I…” Why couldn’t I get any
words out? I felt like something inside of me was holding me
back.
“
Yes?”
After a few
seconds of hesitation, I said. “I forgive you. I really
do.”
I never thought
the words would come out so easily. It was scary to know that I had
actually admitted that because truthfully, I didn’t want to forgive
him. With all that he put me through and the pain but I couldn’t
help to understand his reasoning. Plus, it was the right thing to
do. He had a lot to deal with now and only I get out free?
Forgiving him would put us both in a better state.
When he smiled
this time, it reached his eyes. “I have waited so long to hear
those words come from your mouth, Emilie.” He raised his hand and
for some reason I flinched away from him before I could stop
myself.
The room became
deathly silent at my action and I lowered my eyes to the floor. I
couldn’t help but to flinch away. All that went through my head
when he reached out to me was him beating me. I don’t know if I
will ever get over that when it comes to Conner. It was just a
reflex for me.
“
I’m
sorry.” I whispered.
“
I
should be the one saying sorry. Not you.” I pick my head up at his
words and see his hands resting on the bed. Out of reach of me. “I
truly am sorry, Emilie. I want you to know that.”
Whatever came
over me, I would never know. I reached across the space between us
and place my hand over his. His skin is cold and dry to the touch.
“I know Conner.”
Slowly he turned
his hand over and wrapped his fingers around mine. “I love you
Emilie and if things could have gone differently, I would have
loved that.”
I stared at him
perplexed at how I felt about those words. I took my hand away from
his and stood up from the chair. “I know.” I said looking down at
him. “We have to go now though. Long drive and dinner is waiting. I
hope everything goes well with you Conner.” I’m honest when I say
the last words because no matter what he did to me, he deserved
good things.
“
Bye
Emilie.”
I nodded my head
and turned to the door, walking out. Entering the hall, leaving the
building, and standing by the car was all a blur to me. That was
until Jared opened my door and then shut it when I didn’t get
in.
“
What
are you doing?” He asked grabbing onto my wrists and moving his
face in front of mine.
I looked at him
with a frown on my face. “I don’t agree with him.” I said thinking
back to Conner’s words.
This time Jared
was the one frowning. “What are you talking about? Can you
elaborate?”
I shook my head
trying to clear my head. Why was I thinking so hard about it? “When
he said that he wishes thing went differently, I don’t agree with
him.”
“
Okay?
I’m still a little confused.”
I looked Jared in
the eyes and grabbed onto his hands. “I don’t agree with him! I
don’t wish things went differently. I’m glad that everything went
the way it did. I don’t even care that I was abused as wrong as
that sounds. But I don’t because then everything wouldn’t be how it
is now! If Conner never hurt me, I would probably still be with him
and not you. You and I wouldn’t even be together! Austin could
still be getting hurt too. Don’t you see Jared? Everything
does
happen for a reason!”
Jared just stood
there looking at me funny before a smile broke out across his face
and he started laughing. “Well I’m happy that you are looking at
the bright side Emilie and—“
“
I
love you Jared.” I blurted out honestly locking eyes with
him.
His smile drops
and so does my heart when I see his face.
Stupid.
No that’s not a
strong enough word to describe how I felt at that moment. I just
said ‘I love you’ and Jared stopped smiling? I didn’t know what I
was expecting but that wasn’t it.
I looked away
from him and moved to the car door. “Sorry. Forget I said
anything.” My throat felt clogged and dry. I could feel the tears
ready to spill and it bothered me that I felt so weak.
That I
was being so weak
.
I hated the whole
concept of love. I would always think it never existed and after
the whole break-up with Conner, I believed it more than ever but
with Jared it was different. I felt like I was holding back on
something. And that something was telling him and me that I
did
love him.
I knew I did. It
was just there and at that moment I felt like crawling under a rock
because he was just staring at me like I had told him I killed his
family. Was it really that bad to hear those words from
me?
“
Wait.” His voice barreled through my thoughts and I just shook
my head, my back facing him.
“
I
don’t want to hear it Jared.” My voice was raw and now tears were
falling down my face. I couldn’t believe I was crying over a guy,
again!
“
I
said wait.” He demanded grabbing my shoulders and spinning me
around. His eyes grew guilty when he saw that I was crying. He
stepped closer to me and wiped the tears off my face with the pads
of his thumbs. “Hey don’t cry.” He pulled me into his chest and
hugged me tightly.
Without
hesitation, I wrapped my arms around his neck and silently cried
into his shoulder. It was weird that I was crying on the guy that
just hurt me but I couldn’t help it. I loved him, I really did and
his comfort was all I wanted. Even if it was his fault that I was
crying.
“
Emilie, Shhhh.” He soothed rubbing his hands over my back
slowly.
“
I
can’t believe I just said that!” I sobbed keeping my head down too
embarrassed to look at him. I was a mess and putty in his
hands.
“
Babe.” He whispered quietly pulling me away from him and
lifting my face up by my chin. He gave me a sorry smile and wiped
at my face again. “I’m glad you said that.”