The Bakery Sisters (62 page)

“I'm more evolved than that and I was never one to brawl. Now talk.”

She didn't want to dump on him, but she didn't have that many friends in Seattle. Not anymore. She'd lost touch with most of them when she'd moved away. While Paula was wonderful, she was already doing so much by helping out with Gabe. Complaining seemed a poor way to repay her.

“I just—” Jesse began, then sighed. “I don't know why she bothered to agree to let me try to earn my way back into the bakery. She's hoping I'll fail. Or at least the brownies will. She's not doing anything to help with the launch and she's standing in the way of everything I want to do.”

“You're part owner, aren't you? Can't you force her to do what you want?”

Jesse shrugged. “I played the ‘I'm a part of this, too' card earlier. She didn't like it. It's just so frustrating. I'm not asking for special treatment here. I'm just asking that the brownies be given a chance. That she doesn't always assume the worst. It's been five years, but she's not over any of it. I've changed, but she can't see that.”

She looked at him, at his dark eyes, at the familiar mouth that now kissed so different. “I guess you two have that in common.”

“I know you've changed,” he said.

“You're not acting like it. I didn't cheat on you, Matt. How many times do I have to say that? How many times do I have to keep explaining?” She stood up. “You know what? I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it from her and from you and you can both go to hell.”

He rose. “Feel better?”

“A little. I'm just really pissed off.”

“Seriously? Because I didn't get that from what you were saying.”

Against her will, despite everything that was happening, she smiled. Then she laughed. “Dammit, Matt, I'm not kidding.”

“Neither am I.” He motioned to the sofa. “Are we ready to sit again?”

She felt a little foolish as she settled back down. “Sorry. I'm kind of on edge.”

He angled toward her. “Jesse, you've known for a while you were coming back. You've had a chance to make plans, think it all through. You know what you want and how you're going to get it. We don't have that advantage. You show up here, unannounced, and expect me and Nicole to be okay with that. We're still trying to catch up.”

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she saw his point. “I don't like it when you use reason against me.”

“Sorry. It's all I've got.” He stared at her. “I'm mad as hell about Gabe. Sure, you told me you were pregnant, but you knew I didn't believe you. You never tried to get in touch with me again. You never bothered to let me know when he was born. What the hell was up with that?”

Now she was the bad guy? She stood again. “What about all those things you said to me? You told me you didn't care if the baby was yours?”

He rose. “I was wrong, but so were you. You knew Gabe was mine. You should have tried harder.”

She didn't want to hear that. “You wouldn't have listened.”

“We'll never know what I would have done.”

She stared at him for a long time. Shame filled her. “Matt,” she whispered, fighting tears. “I'm sorry.” She'd come here to cry on his shoulder. This wasn't the conversation she'd expected. “You hurt me so much.”

“I know. I'm sorry. You have no idea how much I regret what I said.”

Jesse wanted to believe him. Matt could see it in her face. But she wasn't sure if she could trust him. If she'd known these past five years, she would know she couldn't, but despite everything, Jesse had always believed in people, which was to his advantage.

She stared at him now, her big blue eyes dark with tears. God, she was beautiful. That hadn't changed. If anything, she'd improved with time. The lines of her face were a little sharper and more defined. She was all grown up and about the sexiest female he'd ever seen.

He accepted the fact that he wanted her. It couldn't be avoided. Sleeping with her would be a pleasure for both of them and where was the bad in that?

Now, as he moved toward her, sensing her vulnerability, he almost meant everything he said. Because caring about Jesse had been easy, too. Not that he was going to let himself forget what she'd done.

“You're confusing me,” she admitted.

He rubbed his thumb against her bottom lip. “Part of my charm.”

“You always were charming.”

“I was some computer nerd who still lived with his mother.”

She smiled. “I never saw you that way.”

She really hadn't, he thought, remembering how easily she'd helped him. She'd changed everything and along the way he'd fallen for her. It had stunned him when she'd admitted having feelings for him. He could still recall the sense of impossible victory. He'd gotten the girl—the only girl who mattered.

He wasn't that foolish anymore, he told himself. No one mattered now. He didn't let them.

Just to make sure he didn't forget, he leaned in and kissed her. He touched his mouth to hers, claiming her, teasing, testing to see how far she would let him go.

At first she did nothing. She accepted the kiss, without kissing him back. He didn't move, determined to make her feel something, feel
him,
when she softened slightly, eased forward and put her hand on his shoulder.

He wrapped both arms around her and drew her against him, holding her close, holding her tight, determined to keep her for as long as he wanted. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, as much to claim her as to please her, but she didn't seem to mind. If anything, she met him stroke for stroke, touching, teasing, rubbing. Her hands moved up and down his back, her hips and belly pressed against him, daring him not to be aroused, not to be interested.

He was hard and ready and it was all he could do to keep from taking her right there in his office. The desk, a voice in his head yelled. The desk would work.

Heat burned through him, making it impossible to remember why he'd started the game, reminding him that now he should only be concerned with finishing it. Her mouth was hot against his, yielding, offering. He tasted her kiss and wanted to taste other parts of her, all of her. He wanted to touch her everywhere, rediscover the body he had known better than his own. He wanted to breathe in the scent of her, hear her gasp as pleasure claimed her. He wanted to push the thought of any other man out of her mind until there was only him.

He wanted more than sex, more than making love. He wanted to take her and mark her and hear her scream as she totally and completely lost control in his arms. Then he wanted to hear that final, breathless sigh of perfect contentment.

Need grew powerful. Wanting filled him. It wasn't pretend anymore. It was real and alive and it pulsed within him. He wanted Jesse the same damn way he'd always wanted her. Heart and soul. Forever. In that moment he knew he would walk away from his vow of revenge if only he could—

They pulled apart. Matt wanted to say he'd been the one to end the kiss, but he couldn't be sure. Maybe it had been her. Maybe she'd figured out the danger of an out-of-control fire. They stood staring at each other, both breathing hard. He could see the wanting in her eyes and knew she saw the same in his.

She started to speak, then shook her head and turned away. In a matter of seconds, she was gone. When he was alone, he continued to stand in the center of his office, his breathing too fast, his body burning for her as it had five years ago.

The game had just gotten interesting, he told himself. There was a whole new dimension at play. A dangerous one. Because she still had power over him. He was going to have to be very careful and make sure she never found out and used it against him.

What he didn't admit, even to himself, was that maybe it wasn't a game anymore. Maybe it was something else entirely.

Five years ago…

T
HE LOBBY OF THE HOTEL
looked like something out of an old movie. There was dark wood everywhere, antiques and an air of elegance that made Jesse wish she'd worn something other than jeans and a sweater. She felt like she should be in a dress and heels. She also felt young, out of place and scared.

Don't be crazy, she told herself. She was fine. So she and Matt had gone away for the weekend. So they were going to have sex. That was hardly new for her. She couldn't count the number of times she'd done it.

Except everything about Matt was different. Everything was new and exciting and just a little terrifying, but in a good way. At least she hoped it was good.

Matt finished registering them. “Want someone to bring up our bags?” he asked.

She glanced at the small wheeled suitcase she'd brought and his leather duffel she'd made him buy a couple of weeks before.

“I think we can manage,” she murmured, knowing a bellman would only make her more uncomfortable.

As it was, she felt like everyone was staring at her, judging her. It was as if they all knew about her shameful past and were thinking, “Here she goes again. Sleeping with someone else.”

But it wasn't like that, she thought, wanting to defend herself. Matt was different.
She
was different. Being in love with him had changed her. Not that she expected anyone to believe her.

Jesse shook her head, determined not to think about her sister or anyone else. Matt had brought her to Portland for the weekend so they could spend some time together and have fun. She wanted to have fun…if only she could catch her breath.

The elevator was old and beautiful, with a brass railing and carved ceiling. They rode up ten floors, then walked down a long, carpeted hallway. Even the doors to the rooms were ornate and looked heavy. Matt used the key and let them into their room.

He stepped back and motioned for her to go first. She stepped into the space and frowned. There was no bed. Just a sofa, a couple of chairs and a view of the river.

She turned in a slow circle, taking in the beautiful furniture, the air of elegance. Then she noticed the open doorway and walked toward it.

Here was the bed, she thought as she stared at the carved canopy, the matching armoire and the lovely linens. The bathroom had a tub built for two, or maybe five, a double shower and real marble floors. The walk-in closet had automatic lights that went on as soon as the door opened.

“Makes me wish I'd brought more clothes,” Jesse murmured, trying not to let him see how out of place she felt. This was too nice, too special. She was used to doing it in the back of a car, or a basement. On the sly, fast, as if the act was something to hide. As if she wasn't worth anything else.

Her throat was tight. Matt had obviously gone to a lot of trouble to find this place, make reservations. But it was all too much.

He came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “You okay?”

She nodded.

“Don't panic,” he said lightly, squeezing her, then letting her go. “There's a second bedroom. I wasn't assuming.”

She turned to stare at him. “What?”

“There's a second bedroom. Want to see it?”

Another bedroom? Because he hadn't thought this was a sure thing? “We're away together. In a hotel. Why would you get a second bedroom?”

He frowned. “We never talked about anything other than going away. I didn't want to assume that you were ready for us to be lovers.”

But he knew about her past. She'd told him. Not everything, but enough. And still, he treated her like…like…She couldn't even think of what it was like.

He smiled. “Jess, I'm not going to push you. I want us to spend time together. I want to enjoy the weekend. But if you need a little space of your own, that's fine.”

He was perfect, she thought, unable to believe this was happening. Kind and gentle, smart, funny. He treated her like a princess. Like something precious. He took care of her without trying to change her. He believed in the best of her.

“I'm scared,” she admitted. “I've never been scared before.”

“You don't have anything to be scared about.”

She looked into his dark eyes and knew he was wrong. She was scared because there was so much on the line.

The truth came to her then, in a blinding flash. She hadn't just fallen for him—she loved him. And that's what terrified her the most. The other guys hadn't mattered. If she blew it, there were another five to take that one's place. But not with Matt. There was only him and if she lost him, she would never recover.

She loved him. All of him. The way he was so intense about everything. How he had millions and didn't flaunt it. How he took care of not just her, but even his annoying mother. He was a good man, in every sense of the word. And when he kissed her, she burned down to her soul.

What if she hadn't been in that Starbucks on the first day they met? What if they'd never found each other? What if he'd fallen for one of the other women he'd been dating? What if someone else had gotten him first?

It was little more than a quirk of fate that they'd found each other, she thought. For once in her life, she'd been lucky.

She crossed to him, raised herself on tiptoe and kissed him. He kissed her back, his mouth warm and firm, yet gentle, as if he didn't want to hurt her. As if he worried about her. Then his arms were around her and he was pulling her close.

She went willingly into his embrace, wanting to feel his body against hers. She parted and he slipped his tongue into her mouth.

He tasted of the wine they'd had at the tasting and something darkly sexy. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on to him so that everything stayed where it would. No matter what, Matt would keep her safe. She knew that. She'd known it from the first moment they'd met.

He ran his hands up and down her back. When he went lower and cupped her rear, she arched against him. Her belly brushed his hardness and he groaned.

He pulled back and cupped her face. “I want you, Jesse.”

His dark eyes were bright with fire. His words made her shiver. “I want you, too,” she whispered.

He took her hand and led her back into the bedroom. After he drew back the covers on the bed, he picked up her right hand and kissed her palm.

“This isn't my first time,” he told her. “I thought you might be wondering.”

She hadn't been, but it was good to know. On the heels of that thought came a wondering about how many others there had been. Who were those women? Why had they let Matt get away? Did he still see them? Think about them? Want them?

She wanted to ask, wanted to scream, wanted to jump out of her skin. The feelings of jealousy were new and uncomfortable. She tried telling herself she was here now and that's what mattered, but it wasn't enough.

What if they didn't click together sexually? What if he thought she was boring in bed? What if—

“Jess?”

She drew in a breath. “I'm making myself insane, worrying.”

“About?”

“That you'll be disappointed.”

He smiled. “That's not going to be a problem.”

“You can't know that for sure.”

“Stop thinking,” he told her, just before he kissed her again.

She gave up to the feel of his mouth on hers. When her brain offered other ways for her to panic, she pushed the thoughts away. Better to enjoy what she could and let the crisis occur on its own.

She tilted her head and parted for him. He swept into her mouth, arousing her with each brush of his tongue.

Over and over, he kissed her, drawing out the process until she began to relax. They weren't going to rush. That was good. Because despite her past, everything felt oddly new and unfamiliar.

He ran his fingers through her long hair, then pulled it aside so he could kiss her neck. He moved down to the hollow of her throat, the warm, erotic touch making her shiver slightly.

Wanting moved through her, sluggish at first, then growing. Her breasts began to ache. She felt heat burn between her legs.

He moved his hands over her back, then to her waist. She felt the weight of them through the layers of her clothing. He cupped the curve of her hips, but didn't move either higher or lower, as if he were comfortable taking things just this far.

He kissed her again. With each touch of his tongue on hers, her need cranked up a few degrees. When he nipped her earlobe, she quivered. Sensation flowed from where he touched her breasts. She could feel her nipples, tight and aching inside her bra.

She wanted to pull off her clothes and be naked. She wanted him urging her legs apart so he could fill her. She imagined his erection, big and straight and thick enough to make her scream.

Her skin yearned to feel his touch and still he only kissed her. Over and over, making her squirm.

At last he drew back far enough to pull off her sweater. At the same time she kicked off her shoes. He put his hands on her waist. She caught her breath in anticipation. Her breasts throbbed with each heartbeat. She was getting desperate.

He bent down and pressed his mouth to her bare shoulder. He licked the skin and she gasped. Slowly, more slowly than should be allowed, he moved his hands higher. Closer to her breasts. Closer and closer. At the same time, he kissed her collarbone, then her neck.

His hands moved higher. She silently urged him on. Just a little more. Just a little—

He cupped her curves in his large hands. Just held them for a second, before beginning to move, exploring her. She let her head drop back as she focused solely on his touch, the way his fingers moved over all of her. Then he brushed his thumbs across her nipples and she nearly screamed.

She stood frozen, wanting only to feel what he was doing to her. The irony was, he was barely touching her through her bra. In theory, they hadn't even gotten to the good stuff. How was she supposed to survive that?

He stepped back slightly and unfastened his shirt, then tugged it off. She stared at his bare chest, at the defined muscles, the dark hair. Then he pulled her against him.

She went willingly, wanting to feel skin on skin. He wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her in his strength. She clung to him, wishing she could crawl inside of him and never leave.

It was a perfect moment and they hadn't even done anything. Maybe it was because she knew for Matt, this was about being with her. She wasn't just some easy way to get laid. She was unique to him, and she'd never been that before.

His hands moved on her back. She felt a slight tugging on her bra, then it was loose. He pulled at a strap. She eased away enough to let it fall.

She was bare to the waist. He gazed at her, as if he found her beautiful, then he bent down and took her left nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked, sending ribbons of sensation all through her body. She had to hold on to him to keep herself upright. Pressure built inside and when he used his hand to tease her other breast, she thought she might come right then.

It was as if he knew exactly what to do, exactly how to please her. He moved back and forth between her breasts, caressing her until she couldn't help moaning.

“Matt, please,” she breathed. She was so ready, so on the edge. She wasn't used to this kind of foreplay, the drawn-out dance performed by a man determined to shatter every part of her.

He straightened and smiled at her. “I like how your breath catches and the little sounds you make.”

She was making sounds? That was kind of embarrassing. How to explain she was used to sex being more…direct and quick. Or maybe she didn't want to. This way was a whole lot more fun.

He reached between them and unfastened her jeans. He pushed them down, along with her bikini panties and she stepped out of them. Then she was naked and he was easing her onto the edge of the bed.

She sat, her legs hanging down.

“Lay back,” Matt told her.

She hesitated, knowing the position would leave her vulnerable, yet wanting to do what he said. Slowly, she lowered herself onto the sheets. He knelt on the floor.

“You're so beautiful,” he murmured between kisses along her calf to her knee. “Your skin, your hair, your smile. The way you say my name.”

He kissed and licked and nibbled his way up her thighs, getting closer and closer to the hungriest part of her. She stirred restlessly, parting her legs more, wanting what she knew was coming next. Wanting it all. She felt a whisper of breath, then his tongue found her most sensitive spot and she groaned.

He licked her gently, exploring her. At the same time, he moved his hands up her body until he touched her breasts.

The sensations were incredible. His tongue between her legs, loving the very center of her, his skilled fingers on her nipples, moving in perfect rhythm. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sensation, the liquid desire pulsing through her.