The Balance of Silence (8 page)

Riv accepted the map with a smile. “Thank you for your help.”

The walk was every bit of ten minutes, and seemed longer, a fact not helped by his feet slowing and almost stopping as he reached the far building. He was terrified, stupidly insanely terrified. Suddenly, seeing Ducks seemed like the hardest thing he’d ever tried to do.

He took a moment, standing there in the brightly lit courtyard. In and out, deep breaths, and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was pulled back, and he turned to find himself face to face with Ducks, smiling tentatively. He pulled a notebook from his pocket, scrawling a message on the screen quickly.

I thought I was supposed to be the jumpy one.

The Balance of Silence

Riv laughed, and then it was easier, at least a little. He still didn’t know what to do next, but he held his hand out and was surprised when he was pulled into a hug instead. There was more of Pryce than there had been, a sturdiness that had been missing before, and the hand that rested on his back wasn’t shy about rubbing slow circles in the fabric of his shirt.

“Hey there,” he said softly into the bend of Ducks’ neck.

He really shouldn’t be able to feel the smile. A second or two more and Ducks pulled back, and sure enough, there it was.
Thank you for coming.

“Of course. But you might not be thanking me later.” Riv waited until Ducks lifted an eyebrow in query and grinned. “I had a promise bullied out of me that if I could break you out of here for a few hours, I have to take you to meet Del.”

That earned a worried frown, and Riv silently groaned. His mouth constantly ran away with itself.

“Only if you want to, that is. She’s persistent, but she’ll survive the disappointment if you don’t feel up to it.” Taking a chance that almost froze him with indecision, he reached out and dropped an arm around Ducks’ shoulders. When the gesture wasn’t shrugged away, he leaned in. “Besides, my mum’s having everyone to stay. She’ll keep Del busy enough that she wouldn’t be able to miss you.”

Not only was his arm not shrugged away, but the other man carefully maneuvered his pad in order to write without dislodging Riv.
Is that a bad thing?

“A bad thing?” Riv laughed, shaking his head. “Depends on what you consider bad. Mum’s like me…only a hundred times more so. Still the only person in the ’verse who can outtalk me. Del will have her hands full.” He rolled his eyes. “And Bin won’t know what hit him.”

At least nobody would notice that I wasn’t contributing much.
Ducks cleared the screen, and not wanting to push, Riv moved a little out of his personal space, picking up his bag again and looking around them.

“Is there someplace I can leave this?”

We can go back to my room.
Ducks was a quick hand with his pad and stylus, and his neat handwriting was as close to a voice as he could expect. The amused embarrassment involved in trying not to read anything into it, when really that was all he
could
do, didn’t make the situation that much easier.

Riv whistled softly as Ducks ushered him in the door and then stood back. “Not bad accommodations.

Sure beats my bunk on the
Mel
.” He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting…some dark, dank hole that more resembled a prison cell? But this room was spacious and bright, if austerely furnished. A single bed—noted with a wry pang of shamefully acknowledged disappointment—a dresser and a chair, over-stuffed and comfortable looking.

Nothing fancy, but we’re supposed to be concentrating on other things while we’re here.

It was amazing how quickly he was getting used to glancing at Ducks for his answers. He’d still rather hear a voice, but this would do for the time. “Attaining a higher level of consciousness and purity?”

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The blond man grinned.
Something like that.
He dropped easily onto the bed and gestured towards the chair with his chin.
So sit down and tell me about this entourage you brought with you.

“Entourage?” Riv laughed. “Damn, I would never be able to spell that.”

Lucky for me I have the spelling gene, huh?

“Is that a gene? I thought it was just paying attention in Language Arts. Now I don’t have to feel like such a failure.” He dropped his bag at the foot of the bed and sat gingerly on the edge, looking around one more time. “They’re my crew. Bin’s crew, really. Del is his wife, and she works with orphanages. Then there’s Marc and Bird, who work in the mech pit with me. And me, destined to be sleeping in the same room I had when I was six, squashed up into a tiny little bed shaped like a boat.”

Homey.
The soft laugh sent a shiver down to the pit of Riv’s stomach, and he grinned back.

“Yeah. Especially with my mum offering Del advice on how to get pregnant. That should go over well.”

Is she trying to get pregnant?
Ducks’ expression was slightly bemused.

“Not a chance. And even if she was, Mum’s herbal concoctions, besides tasting like complete shit, would not be a welcome solution.”

Pulling one knee up to his chin and wrapping an arm around the leg, Ducks rested the pad on the bed to write with the other hand.
Funny. I thought it took something besides herbs to get pregnant. I guess I’ve
been out of touch.

Riv snickered. “Times change, my friend. We don’t need to rely on such base, crude things anymore.”

You make base and crude sound like a bad thing. And I don’t remember it being BAD.

It was amazing to see the same loopy smile on his face mirrored on Ducks’. Now if only he could count on it being for the same reason. “No, no, you misjudge me. Not bad at all. I’m a fan, a huge fan.”

Ducks was the first to break the shared glance, face pinking up faintly as he stared down at the bed.

He fiddled with the stylus for a moment, long fingers moving nervously. Riv bit viciously at his lip, the apology already welling up in his throat when Ducks started to write.

I’m not running out of the room screaming.

Riv jerked up, seeking out the other man’s face. The hesitant grin did a world of wonder in slowing down his racing heart, and he took a shaky breath. “That’s good, right?”

It’s good. But I think I need a break. Are you hungry? I can show you the cafeteria. Buy you a Ping?

“That sounds great.” He stood, hesitated for just a second, and offered Ducks his hand. When it was accepted, he grinned, pulling him to his feet. “Drank everything you sent me the very first day. Del says she’s holding you personally responsible if all my teeth rot out.”

Ducks shrugged nonchalantly, making no attempt to hide his laugh.
I hardly think you can blame your
dental hygiene problems on me.

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The Balance of Silence

“Try telling Del that,” Riv said morosely. “Come up on her bad side and you’ll change your mind quick enough.”

Maybe we could hold off a few days before I meet her.
And it wasn’t really a joke, Riv knew when he looked over.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He rested his hand on the slightly stooped shoulder next to him briefly as they crossed the landscaped courtyard. “Besides, who says I want to share?”

I don’t want to disappoint you.
Ducks led them into the cafeteria, effectively cutting short anything else Riv might have said. Del had a way with the injured that had nothing to do with bedside manner, and in the back of his mind, he was clinging to the long shot that she’d be able to do something for Pryce. Of course, to help him, she’d have to touch him, and he wasn’t sure that was going to happen.

They garnered few looks from the other patrons in the cafeteria, and even less interest, something Riv found himself grateful for. But for all of that, the woman behind the counter recognized Ducks, giving him a friendly smile and a wave.

“Hello, Mr. Markham. Here for a soda, I’m guessing. And just in case you’re interested, there’s fresh berry tart, still warm.”

Ducks grinned and nodded, holding up two fingers.

“Right you are then, step down to the end and I’ll have that in just a jiffy.”

The tart was everything promised and then some, and Riv found himself scraping the plate and then glancing back over his shoulder rather longingly. The tap on his shoulder brought him back.

See why I’ve gained so much weight since I got here? The food’s incredible.

“No kidding. Think I could move in for awhile? It would make my mum happy, me being back home.

And it would definitely make me happy, not having to eat her cooking.”

Setting his fork on the table, Ducks laughed and shook his head.
I don’t think your mother would be
happy at you being in a rehab center, even if it was only for the food.

Riv propped both elbows on the table, leaning forward with a sigh. “It would be worth it. Besides, I could come up with a reason for being here. Do they take you for addictions? I could develop one for gambling. Drugs? Alcohol? Sex? Personality disorder? What about all of the above?”

If anything, Ducks laughed harder, hand shaking with the force of it, impeccable handwriting wavering across the pad.
Maybe you should just stick with the food. The rest of it seems kind of scary. I
might have to ask you to leave.

“Ah, Pryce, is this your visitor?” The unexpected voice caused them both to spin around to see the elderly doctor, hands stuffed comfortably in the pockets of his white lab coat, smiling amiably at both of them.

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Forcing himself to stay in his seat, Riv let Ducks take the lead. He wasn’t going to step on his feet, not by jumping in and introducing himself. He wouldn’t do it to a friend who could talk for himself and he wouldn’t do it to Ducks.

This is Riv. The man who single-handedly got me safely off Maltana. Riv, this is Dr. Terrell.

“Single-handedly?” Riv shrugged uncomfortably, more than a little embarrassed. And pleased, although that one was harder to admit, if only because it sounded conceited. “I wouldn’t exactly say that.”

“Modest
and
helpful, I see.” Dr. Terrell smiled benevolently, and Riv felt himself flush under the assessing gaze, unsure if he was hearing sarcasm or not.

“I did what I could. I’m just glad Du—ah, Pryce, is doing so well.”

“He’s making great strides,” the doctor said, taking a moment to clap the patient in question on the shoulder. “I do wonder though, if you have a moment during your visit, if you might be willing to enlighten me with details that Pryce may not recall.”

“I suppose I could do that. There’s probably not a whole lot to tell, though.” Somehow, the thought of being alone with this man, doctor or no doctor, wasn’t particularly comfortable.

“Oh, it will be fine. I’m sure you remember much more than you think you do. And that will help Pryce along with his recovery.” Dr. Terrell didn’t elaborate, and Riv wondered in a rather disgruntled fashion if he was using it as a guilt motivator. “Pryce will show you to my office. Tomorrow, let’s say? I have an opening in my afternoon schedule.”

He didn’t wait for an answer, offering them both a wave before disappearing across the huge cafeteria without a backwards glance.

“He’s a little…” Riv paused, trying to come up with some sort of a neutral word.

Overbearing?
Pryce grimaced.

“Yeah, that’s a good description. Do you, uh, like him?” Riv asked cautiously.

The wry shrug spoke volumes.
He’s okay, I guess. Maybe I was expecting too much out of being here.

Somebody to fix me, make everything all right again.
Pryce toyed with his fork and shrugged again.
I’m not
a fan of psychological mumbo jumbo. Don’t get why I have to answer questions. The doctors are supposed
to be doing that FOR me.

“Oh, but good health comes from within,” Riv joked back in a mimic of his mother’s voice. “Ya got to live healthy to be healthy.” His own accent, once as broad and recognizable as hers, had faded over the years. Ship to ship, port to port, he left a little more of it behind with every stop, but he could still call it up if he needed to.

Ducks rolled his eyes, but he was smiling again, and that was good enough.

“When I have to fix something in the engine, I don’t just go wading into the pit and pull parts out until I find what’s broken. I run diagnostics, and look at her performance, and try to get clues from the things she’s telling me. Sometimes I don’t ask the right questions, and I still wind up elbow deep in grease for no 44

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The Balance of Silence

reason, but if I didn’t know anything about the problem to begin with, I wouldn’t know how to start working on it.”

Thanks. Makes me feel so much better being compared to an engine. Maybe you can suggest some
diagnostic specs to Terrell. Speed this process up.

Riv snickered. “Yeah, I’ll do that tomorrow, during our personal meeting.” He shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “What the hell d’you suppose he wants?”

Shaking his head, Ducks smiled innocently.
No idea. Maybe he thinks you’re cute.

Horrified, Riv sat up abruptly. “That’s not funny. You don’t think that’s it, do you? This…this is about you, not me. Besides, I don’t like doctors.” He shuddered. “At all.”

Coming from the person who just saw fit to lecture ME.

“I didn’t lecture you.” He was hurt, at least until he saw the teasing smirk.

No, of course not. You just explained things for a really long time, without letting me interrupt you.

“Ha ha,” Riv said with an overblown sigh. “I see my wisdom is lost on you.”

Wisdom. Right. That’s what you’re calling it.

“Hmmph.” He licked the last of the tart from his spoon, enjoying the fading taste of berries on his tongue with half-lidded delight. When he opened his eyes fully, Ducks was staring at him with a peculiar expression. “What’s the matter?”