The Barbarian's Mistress (18 page)

‘He can’t be dead. I only saw him last week. He can’t have died, just like that.’

Vali stroked her hair. The only thing she could think about was the way he stroked her hair. It was windblown and tangled, and his hands were calloused and snagged in it, yet every stroke felt smooth and comforting.

‘Do you want a drink of something?’ Daria asked gently.

‘A little strong wine might help. I don’t think it’s sunk in yet,’ Vali replied.

Sunk in? How did her father’s death “sink in”? It was a mistake, of course. It had to be. They were the ones who were supposed to be dead in Pompeii, not her father.

A cool goblet of wine was held to her lips, and she drank obediently. The potent brew hit her senses and shocked her into clarity.

Her father was dead. The man who had loved her all her life; who had cared for her all her life, was dead. She would never see his loving face again. The stabbing pain in her chest took her breath away.

‘The message said we have to go back to Rome,’ she said, ignoring the pain. Even to her own ears her voice sounded strained and lifeless.

‘We can think about that later. Drink more, sweetling.’ Vali held the cup to her mouth again, and she swallowed down more. Now she felt light headed and sick to the stomach.

‘What will I do, Vali? Everything is falling apart. Everyone I’ve ever loved is … gone… just like that.’

‘Not everyone. You have me. You’ll always have me.’

She drew her head from his chest and stared into his eyes, trying to read the truth written there. ‘But you said…’

‘Don’t worry about what I said. That was then, this is now. I’ll take care of you, just as I have since we started this journey. I will always take care of you.’ His voice was rough with emotion, and his arms tightened around her.

That’s when the enormity of it hit. The tears seemed to come from nowhere, running down her cheeks like falling rain. And she sobbed, deep, gut-wrenching sobs.

Vali picked her up in his arms and carried her up to their room. Here, he placed her on the bed, before climbing in with her, and pulling her back against his side. How long they stayed like that, with her crying her eyes out, she didn’t know. But the sun had set, and the moon had risen, before she could find the strength to stop.

‘I don’t want to go back…’ she said, as she sniffed.

‘And you won’t. There’s nothing for you there but your mother’s plots. We’ll get as far away from her as we can. Britannia. I still have your father’s letter giving me management of his estate. We can go there, at least until we find another alternative.’

‘But my mother would find out…’

‘Find out what? That a freeman and his liberti wife were managing the Britannia estate? When has she ever taken any interest in the running of the estates? And your brother Gaius will become head of your paterfamilias.’

‘Gaius? Gaius wouldn’t let mother marry me to Titus.’

‘Possibly. But it will be some time before your brother can get back from Magna Germania. Months, maybe even a year, until he’s released from service to take up your father’s position.’

‘It’s all too much to think about Vali. Too much. You decide. I’ll do whatever you think I should.’

‘I know what I want. I want you as my wife in Britannia. But if I get what I want, then you’ll have to give up your position, any hope of a marriage to someone powerful and rich. You would just be Lara, wife of Vali. But I can’t make that decision for you. If you want to try to find Gaius, and gain his protection, then we can do that. You know his legion. It should be easy enough to find out where they are posted. We could reach him as fast as a messenger. Possibly.’

She lifted her head from his shoulder. Her red eyes were suddenly clear.

‘I love my brother, but I love you more. I don’t care about a powerful husband. I care about a loving one. I want to be Lara, wife of Vali. And we can travel to Britannia, or anywhere else.’

‘Don’t make a decision now. You’ve just had the worst news in your life. It’s too soon to decide your fate. But we can go to Britannia. My wife, in name only, until … until things become clearer.’

‘Have we got enough money for that sort of trip?’

‘Enough. And if we run out on the way, I can find a gladiators
’ arena and fight. It’s good money.’

‘Don’t you have to sell yourself into slavery for that?’

‘In the smaller towns locals fight the professionals for money. I’ll be a local. But that’ll be a last resort. I’ve still got most of the money your father gave me. Nearly four thousand Denarii. We will be there in… a month, maybe a little more. We’ll go south to Carthago, and then across to Gaul. If that’s what you want.’

‘Yes, yes, that’s what I want. I won’t go back to Rome. Not for anything. And I have jewellery we could sell, if we need to…. But… but what about Ninia? I can’t abandon her.’

‘You have no control over her life, sweetling. She’ll do well enough in your old home. Maybe, one day, when you have your new husband, he can buy her for you.’

‘My new husband is you.’ Her tone was stubborn.

‘We’ll see. For now we have a plan. Tomorrow I’ll go to the forum and find us a ship sailing south. And we’ll leave as soon as we can. If your mother figures out where you are… if this Silus tells her.’

‘I can’t understand why Silus would write. He’s of no importance in the household. Ninia’s mother would have written, if the household was sending that note.’

‘It may have been your mother who dictated it. She might have received the missive because your father was… not there to get it.’

‘In which case, she will know where we are. We must go immediately. If mother sends men to bring me back… I won’t go to her. I won’t. She’s somehow responsible for father’s death. I know it! I never want to see her again.’

Rome, LATIUM

‘I’m glad you’re all right, Master,’ offered Silus with guilty eyes, as he read a scroll Bibulus had placed in front of him.

‘All right?’ Bibulus was distracted. He didn’t have time for the ramblings of this old slave. His daughter was injured, possibly seriously, and he had no idea where she was or whether she would follow instructions and return to Rome. He hadn’t slept since coming home, his mind kept him on a razor’s edge.

‘When the mistress had me write that you were dead, I thought something must have happened to you. She said you were fine. But why would she have me write such a thing?’ It was a rhetorical question. A slave didn’t ask questions of his master. Silus was old school. He knew where the lines were drawn. As long as he stayed on his side of the line he would survive.

‘Your mistress had you write what?’ Bibulus barked in frustrated impatience. The man was a babbling fool. The last of a long line of i
ncompetents he’d put up with since Vali was sold.

‘A missive from the south, Paestum, if I remember correctly. It made no sense.’

Through his impatience, Bibulus finally saw a glimmer of hope. Paestum was just south of Pompeii. Had this something to do with his lamb?

With more patience than his exhausted mind could normally have managed he started again. ‘What did the mistress have you write?’

‘I didn’t know if I should, but she swore I’d suffer if I didn’t obey her…’ The man looked suddenly very afraid.

‘Answer the question, man, before I get very angry!’ He only just kept his hands from grabbing the slave’s tunic and pulling him to his feet.

‘Oh, oh yes sir. It…it wasn’t much. I just had to say that you were dead and that V must bring the “goods” back to Rome. I had to sign it myself.’

‘V? You’re sure it was V?’

‘Yes, Master. I found it an odd way to refer to a person.’

Bibulus thought quickly. Salvia had said she’d sent a message telling the supposed carpet dealer to return to Rome with the damaged goods. Now he knew how she’d sent the message, and what added subterfuge she’d included. She’d told Vali he was dead. That would have confounded matters. It might be just enough to bring him back to Rome with the injured Anniana. After all, with him dead, his verbal contract was nulled. And for all intents and purposes, Vali’s only requirement was to get Anniana to Pompeii and her husband. That hadn’t happened. He would now not know what else to do with her.

‘Paestum, you say. What name in Paestum did you address the message to?’

For a long moment, the slave looked lost, then flustered, as he tried to draw on his failing memory. ‘A woman… Daria something… I don’t remember anymore… I’m sorry sir.’

It would have to be enough.

‘Go and fetch Ninia here. Now
man, not in a week’s time!’

As the slave scuttled from the office, Bibulus’ mind was already turning over the possibilities. He needed to find out what happened to Anniana, and the only place to start looking for answers was Paestum. Salvia had already left his house and returned to her father. Legal proceedings were under way to recoup what they could of her dowry. He would argue the huge costs incurred by Salvia’s lifestyle. After all, that was what a dowry was for; to keep the bride in the comfort and luxury she was used to.

But some of the slaves would probably go with the settlement. He needed to get Ninia away from this. He owed her that much, for what his son had done. He never forgot that she was Elani’s child.  If a man could love a slave, he would have loved that woman.

And if he freed Ninia, that would be one less slave Salvia would get her hands on. If he sent her looking for her mistress, she might have more luck than someone who didn’t know Anniana. But he couldn’t send her alone.

Her father Herakles could go with her. He would free Ninia and give Herakles travelling papers so he could accompany her. It was a plan. It was something. And even something was better than nothing.

Chapter Fourteen

2 September 79 CE
, Paestum LUCANIA

When Lara awoke it was to find herself alone, with the late morning sun streaming in through their window. She scanned the room quickly and discovered Vali’s tunic and sandals were missing. Would he have gone out without telling her? She’d been so exhausted last night, when she finally dropped into a restless sleep, that it was likely he wouldn’t want to wake her.

Her mind returned to worry at her news like a tongue worrying a sore tooth. Her father was dead. Her beloved father, who had loved her more than anyone in the whole world, was dead. She would never see his dear face again. Never feel his arm wrapped tightly around her again. Even when he was busy, his hugs had never been perfunctory. If she came in to disturb him in the office, he would give her the space of several moments to hug her fully, as if she was more important than any business he had to complete. He never seemed to mind her distractions.

The emptiness in her chest made the tears sting her eyes again. Hadn’t she cried enough? Where were more tears coming from? She sniffed and fought them back. No time for grief or self-pity. Her mother had probably guessed that she was the “goods” and would be sending someone to check. Or worse, bring her back.

She would not go back. Never!

Scrambling out of bed, she dragged on her clothes, and then went down to find Daria. The woman had been so kind to her the night before. She knew what it was to lose a beloved father. And husband. But Lara still had her husband, and she was that much closer to making that marriage a reality, with the death of her father.

Lara didn’t like to think like that. It made it seem as if she was glad her father was dead. That couldn’t be further from the truth. But the silver lining in this terrible cloud was that she might now be able to have the man she loved. Might be able to live her life the way she wanted. Not as a pawn in someone else’s game of power, but in her own. It went against all her training to think this way, but there it was. She was tired of living in fear and weakness, relying on others to save her. Even Vali. She wanted to make her own choices, set her own course. Lara the liberti could do that so much better than Annia Minor ever could.

‘How are you feeling?’ Daria asked, as Lara entered the little kitchen. The older woman was just lifting a tray of oatcakes from the oven. She tended to cook in the mornings before it got too hot. Then she’d warm the food over a small flame when the time was right, later in the day.

‘Better. Awful. It was such a shock. My father was an older man. Much older than my mother, but he wasn’t sick. I don’t know how this has happened.’ She sat on a stool, her legs feeling ready to give out under her.

‘Death can be swift and unexpected. It’s harder that way, I think. You don’t get the chance to prepare for it. To say your goodbyes. But I’m sure your father knew how you felt about him.’

‘Yes. He knew I loved him. It’s just that… I can’t get over the idea I’ll never see him again. Even though I was going to live in Pompeii, and he was in Rome, I knew I’d see him again. Get letters from him. Now… nothing.’

‘And you’ll see him walking down the street in a crowd. And you’ll think it was him that just disappeared around the corner. But it won’t be. All I can tell you, Lara, is that it will get better.’

Lara smiled gratefully at the older woman, and took an oatcake from the tray she was offered. Then she slathered on some conserve made from rosehips. Not really hungry, she knew she had to make the effort to keep up her strength. They were on the move once more. Who knew when she’d get a decent meal again?

‘Vali?’

‘He went to the forum a little while ago. Appius went with him. That boy has a bad case of hero worship going on with your man. I’m not looking forward to the way he will mope when you two are gone.’

‘We must leave very soon. Now my father is dead, my position becomes problematic. My… my mother didn’t want me to marry Vali. She will try to make me divorce him. We’re going to get as far away as we can, to start again.’

‘Ah, I wondered what the urgency was. I thought you would be heading home to be with your family at such a sad time. But your mother has no control over you, surely? You are a liberti. Your parents must have been slaves?’

‘It’s complicated. And my mother is a very powerful woman in her way. She will make my life a misery if she finds me.’

‘Then you must go. And I won’t tell anyone where you’re going. I promise you that.’ Dania took Lara’s hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. Lara smiled sadly and squeezed back. Lies on lies. She hated it. This woman was so kind. All she wanted to do was tell her the whole, horrible story. But it was too dangerous. For her, for Vali. She must remain Lara the liberti from now on.

At that moment, Vali strode into the house, followed closely by Appius.

‘Good, you’re up. We leave now. A fishing boat is going down the coast to Palinurus Promontory and there’s a ship south leaving first thing in the morning from there. Our boat leaves on the tide in an hour. They’re willing to drop us off, for a price, but they won’t wait.’

‘Oh, so soon? I…’ She looked at Daria, and felt her heart turn over with sadness. Yet another loss, so soon.

‘Go on dear heart. Get your belongings. I’ll pack you some food to carry with you. The trip to the point is not long, maybe a few hours, but eating will make the time pass faster. Appius, help me.’

Vali led Lara up to their room, and they gathered their possessions quickly. They had so much more than when they’d arrived. Vali now had a big carry-all that he strapped over his shoulder. In it he put their gold aureii. He put smaller currency in another bag at his waist. She got to carry her old hold-all, loaded with clothes and her mementos. She took a moment to look at the picture of her father. It broke her heart.

‘No time for grief, sweetling. We need to be gone. Now,’ Vali said, gently but firmly. She nodded and stowed the picture away with her other precious things.

Less than an hour later, they were on the beach being helped onto the fishing boat. It was tiny, and manned only by three fishermen. But as the trip was going to be short, it didn’t matter how cramped their quarters.

Lara was pleased to see that Vali was energised once more. The last week of inactivity had been relaxing, and some of the harsh edges had been smoothed off him, but that look of excitement had been missing. Except in the bedroom.

The breeze was brisk, the water blue-green and clear as glass, as they headed south. The talkative older fisherman pointed out Posidium Promontory at the end of Paestum Bay and the little fishing village of Velia further on. For Lara, the trip was just what she needed. The way the small craft cut across the choppy waves, flying with the wind, made her heart soar, and cleared the last of her grief away.

‘You’re enjoying this,’ Vali said, smiling down at her as he clung to the side of the heaving boat, cheeks flushed red from the wind, eyes shining. Had she ever seen anyone as handsome? Her blonde giant was a joy to behold, especially as all the swelling and bruising was now gone. The scars that were left only served to make him look more dangerously handsome.

‘I am. I’m not scared at all this time.’

He smiled his pride in her, and she felt it right down to her toes. She wanted this man to be proud of her. His opinion was all that matter
ed anymore.

‘Look,’ he pointed out the headland they were approaching. It looked like a green, blunt-fingered hand reaching out to grasp the sea. There was a huge hole carved into one of the fingers, like a window. Beyond it, the aqua-blue sea, with the cerulean sky above, looked like a mural on the wall of a luxurious palace. Lara smiled her appreciation.

They hadn’t even had time to unpack their food when the small craft nudged its way onto the sandy beach, and the two passengers jumped out. With a quick wave, they bid the fishermen goodbye.

‘That was fun,’ she said, as they began to walk up the beach toward the small town cradled into the north side of the point. The docks were far larger than the town itself, and she wondered why.

They made their way to the inn Daria had recommended, and then spent the rest of the day exploring the promontory, trying to get down to the hole they’d seen from the fishing boat. But the climb was too steep and dangerous, and Vali was loath to risk her falling. So they ended up sitting on the most distant point, near the light house, and eating the food Daria had prepared for them.

‘I’ll miss them,’ she said wistfully, as she nibbled on an oatcake spread with creamy cheese.

‘Daria and Appius? Yes. They were nice people. And Daria won’t tell anyone where we’re going. If anyone comes looking, that is.’

‘I know. How far will this ship tomorrow take us?’ she lay back on the warm grass, not concerned about the hot sun on her face. Her skin had tanned to a pleasant gold, and it didn’t sting anymore.

‘All the way to Carthago. We’re lucky. It’s a regular on this route. It’ll be taking on board amphorae of wine from Lucania, especially Buxentum, which is the much larger town further around the headland.’

‘Why isn’t it the port?’ She took a drink from the mug they shared.

‘No protection from the elements. Palinurus, with its odd little fishing hook promontory, makes it a much better option for larger crafts that need to dock and unload. Storm winds can only come in from the north, and those aren’t often experienced in these parts.’

‘Mmm. I suppose that makes sense. You know so much.’

‘About the sea, and how to survive it, yes. I’m bred to it. But I’m concerned about the lateness of the season. September is really the only month we can still sail with any safety, so the agents were telling me. But as long as we make the crossing to Gaulia as soon as possible, we should be right.’

‘How do you know all this?’ She looked at his golden face that was such a stark contrast to his white-blond hair. A shock of it fell over his broad forehead, softening his harsh features.

‘I talk to people, sweetling. Sailors always like to share their knowledge. It’s the only thing that keeps them safe when they travel into the unknown. If someone has gone before them, and can provide useful information, it’s worth the time to find out. So, I know we are best to find a ship from Carthago to Narbo, in the south of Gaulia, travel by river and land across to the western side of Gaulia, and then travel up the coast, staying as close to shore as possible until we reach Civitus Namnotum. The hard part will be getting across the channel between Gaulia and Britannia. It’s a short distance, so they say, but a treacherous one. We should take ship with Britons rather than the Gauls, to cross the channel, as they know their currents better than any others.’

‘Are you sure we have places on this ship tomorrow?’

‘I’ll confirm that this afternoon when the
Utica
comes into port. But the agent seemed optimistic, as it’s late in the season for travellers. More risky. Although travel times can be faster with stiffer winds.’

‘It sounds frightening. How far from land will we be?’

‘On the trip south to Carthago, we’ll hug the coast and island hop. The furthest we’ll be from land is between Sicilia and Cathago. About a hundred miles. Only two days sail, so I’m told. Don’t worry, ships of all sizes traverse that stretch by the hundred.’

She took this all in with far less fear than she would have a week ago. It was strange how traumatic events put everything else into perspective. A week ago, leaving home was the most traumatic event of her whole, protected life. Then she’d travelled through reclaimed marshes, hung on for dear life on the ship to Stabae, and escaped the eruption of Vesuvius. Maybe that was why travelling on the fishing boat that morning had seemed so pleasant. Not frightening at all. After everything else, it seemed inconsequential.

Or she was still numb from the news of her father’s death.

‘How can so much have happened in less than two weeks? I feel as if the last weeks have been years. I can hardly recognise the girl I was back then. I think I’m stronger. Older.’

‘Less innocent, thanks to me,’ he said, with a scowl.

She grinned. ‘That part is worth it. And the places we’ve seen
. If you’d asked me a month ago if I would enjoy seeing the world, I would have said no. I would have parroted off my parents complaints about being away from home. But now I know I’m not my parents. I enjoy travelling. I enjoy seeing different places. I have memories now that will last a lifetime. And I’m looking forward to more.’

Vali looked at her in amazement. ‘I’ve known a lot of women in my life, sweetling, but none who could adapt to change like you have. You should have been born a man. It would have suited you better.’

She tipped her head to the side, letting her fair hair fall over her shoulder. ‘Are you sure you want me to be a boy?’

He laughed out loud, in that free and easy way he’d come to use over the last weeks. ‘
I
wouldn’t prefer it, I just thought you might. I like you as a girl. I’ve never enjoyed taking males to bed.’

She could tell the old tension was back when he mentioned the last. What had he been made to do by those other owners?

‘But you have taken them to bed.’ She knew it, even though she didn’t understand how it could be, given the difference in male and female bodies.