The Beginning of Connie and Isaac: Blue Butterfly Series (The Blue Butterfly Book 3) (17 page)

Arousal flooded every part of me and I moaned with need as I pressed into his caress. His mouth left mine as he kissed down my neck, his tongue licking at my grief when he lapped at my tears and soaked up my sorrow.

A growl rumbled in his chest when I released his hair and dragged my nails down his bare back, relishing in the feel of his skin under my touch. His mouth found my nipple and he traced it with his teeth through the cotton shirt. My body roared with lust, his idolisation driving me wild with desire.

“Please,” I begged when his hand slid between my thighs and I let my legs drop open, pleading with him to make me feel good.

Without saying anything, he kneeled up, his eyes blazing furiously as he pushed up my shirt and bared my nakedness to his gaze. His hungry eyes fed on me, his approval making my thighs wet as my belly trembled with need.

“Your body is fucking beautiful.” His voice was choked but high as he ran his hands over my skin, his sorrow evident every time he passed over a particular scar. “Is it mine, my love?”

His words both broke me and thrilled me, but I nodded. “Yes. Take it.”

Hungrily, his tongue ran the length of his lips before he reached to the nightstand and grabbed a condom from the drawer. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this, Shadow.”

My mouth watered and a needy groan left me when he ripped off his shorts. His cock was long and hard, the velvety shaft thick, and the end glistened with pre-cum. I realised he’d been circumcised and I wondered if it was a Russian custom, but when he slowly rolled on the condom, any thoughts left me as I waited eagerly for him to slide inside me.

Settling above me, he kissed along my jaw and positioned himself at my entrance. “I’ll try not to hurt you, but I’m afraid when I break your hymen it’s going to be painful.”

He stilled when he felt me freeze beneath him, the tip of his cock still pressing against me. Rearing back, he narrowed his eyes on me. I couldn’t look away from him, shame and horror making me numb and motionless.

He saw it and the pain that tore through me when he curled his lip and looked at me with disgust almost crippled me. “Shadow?” he asked tightly as he moved back and knelt between my legs.

Turning my head, I looked away from him but he snatched my chin in his fingers and forced my eyes to his. “Please tell me you didn’t break your promise.”

When I couldn’t answer him, he closed his eyes in anger and stepped away from me. He yanked his shorts back on and sat on the edge of the bed, disappointment and fury coming from him in thick waves. “I don’t…”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Why I was apologising I had no idea, but as I reached out and touched him he flung himself away from me, turning my remorse into anger.

“Who?” he asked, his back to me as he stared at the wall.

“Does that matter?”

I gasped when he spun around and encircled my throat with a fierce grip. “You were mine, Shadow. You were promised to me. So yes, it matters. It fucking matters a lot.” His hold was punishing and I couldn’t move. He wouldn’t allow me to shift from his grip and his glare.

Furious at my own shame, I stared at him. What gave him the right to treat me like an object? He was no better than the others and suddenly my fury was beyond restraint. “How dare you!”

He scoffed, his outrage cruel as his eyes roamed my body with disgust blazing brightly. “How dare I?” he countered, “How dare
I
? You don’t even care, do you? So come on, Shadow!” he snarled as he spat the words in my face when he pressed against me, his nose squashing against mine. “Who had your virginity?”

“It doesn’t…”

“WHO?” he roared.

And I snapped.

“I have no idea!” I cried out. “I passed out when their torture became too much… right before they raped me!”

He froze. My heart thudded in the stillness of my body. I don’t think I was breathing as my outburst threatened to annihilate us both.

“T-They?”

The vomit in my throat restricted my voice and I scrambled back when Isaac let out a horrific howl.

“WHO?” he shouted. “Who was there?”

I slapped my hand over my mouth to force back the vomit and the sob that begged for freedom. I daren’t answer him. He was beyond furious, his rage making the marrow in my bones freeze with terror. I’d heard stories of Isaac’s madness but until then I’d never witnessed it. And now I had, I wanted to hide from it. I wanted to run from it and never look back.

He closed his eyes for a long time and I watched as he battled to get his emotions back in check. When he opened them, the grief held there was as agonising as my own. His grip on me softened and he cupped my face so tenderly the sob that I had strived to keep in broke free in a wretched wail.

“I’m sorry,” I cried. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t… they… I tried to stop them. I tried to keep my promise but…”

“Shh,” he breathed as he pulled me into his body. “Shh, you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry.” He sighed and held me tighter. “When?” he asked when I clung to him and took his comfort.

“The day you left. I was bound to the cross for a week as punishment for my mother’s death.”

He tensed. “Was it… my father?”

I looked up at him and shook my head quickly. “No. No, Master has never touched me like that.”

He blinked at me, confused by my revelation. “Then who was in charge of your punishment?”

My mouth dried and I argued with myself for a long time. I wanted to tell him, but equally I didn’t. I despised myself for feeling shame at what they did but I didn’t want to burden Isaac with it. Yet I knew he would never allow me to keep this secret from him. “Joel,” I whispered.

He moved so fast that the backdraft from him caused me to gasp. He was out of the door before he’d even fastened his jeans. Terror consumed me and for the first time in a long time, I felt fear. Fear for what Isaac would do, for what repercussions would come from his need for vengeance against something he had always considered his - me.

And as I sat there in the silence of his room, I knew that the end was now inevitable. For both of us. And I prayed for it.

EAST’S COMMUNAL AREA
became silent when I walked in calmly. All eyes turned to me before Joel turned around. His smile was large, his delight at my return evident.

“Hey, man,” he said as he walked over to me. “It’s good to have you back.”

He frowned when he slapped me on the top of the arm and I stiffened with disgust. Becca, now his second, watched me with curiosity. She could see it in me, the wrath that threatened to consume my soul.

“What’s wrong with you?” Joel scoffed as though offended by my detachment towards him, but I could smell his fear; it stank and curdled the breakfast that lay heavily in my gut.

Everyone was rigid with apprehension as they watched me. Tipping my head slightly to the side, I narrowed my eyes on him. I couldn’t figure out exactly when my best friend had become such an animal. I knew he loved this life but he’d stepped over a line that couldn’t be restored. He’d not only broken my trust, he’d severed any loyalty I had towards him.

“I asked you to do one thing, Joel.”

He froze, his mouth open as he looked at me vigilantly. “Yes.”

He gulped when I stepped into him. I was struggling to hold it all back. I was always in control of my temper but this time it was massacring me from the inside. Visions froze my blood, images of my best friend taking something I had cherished. He couldn’t be allowed to breathe for what he had done to Shadow.

“Let’s remind ourselves what that was, shall we?”

Fury ghosted his face but he knew he was no match for me. Pursing his lips, he snorted. “You fuck off for two years then think you can swan back in and treat me like shit?”

Rage stimulated every organ in my body as I fought to pull back but when he shrugged casually and foolishly disregarded my anger, I allowed the ice to trickle into my bones.

“I don’t know what your problem is, anyway. You asked me to watch over her, Isaac. You didn’t say I couldn’t have her.”

Every single person in the room gasped when Joel’s back hit the wall and my blade held his throat hostage. “You vicious little cunt. She was fourteen, you sick fuck! I hope you know I’m going to ram your dirty fucking dick right down your rancid throat.”

He trembled under me, his terror exposed openly on his face. “Fuck, man, I…”

“I want every name. Each and every person who broke my girl.”

“Your girl,” he scoffed. “Your girl? Shit, man, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“
You’re
fucking wrong with me.” Narrowing my eyes, I pressed the edge of my blade deeper into his flesh, a trickle of blood easing my anger slightly when it oozed down the centre of his throat.

“Isaac?” Becca came to stand beside me but I ignored her.

“Names!” I roared.

“Fuck you!”

When a sinister smile crept over my face, the stench of Joel’s piss filled the air. “Wrong answer,” I whispered.

Just as I started to slide the knife over his jugular, every nerve in my body tingling in delight, my father bellowed into the cold silence of the room. “ISAAC!”

My hand shook with need, my teeth clenching as I battled to stop my knife from carrying on its needful slaughter.

“STOP!” Frederik boomed again. “You of all Phantoms know the punishment for killing one of our own.”

I was vibrating with hunger for retribution, my body so sensitive with need it was agonising. “Death,” I replied in a quiet hiss. “But please remind me why that conclusion doesn’t seem so fucking problematic right now?”

Becca moved away quickly as Frederik marched up to me and gripped my wrist in his fingers. Quietly and chillingly, he chuckled, “And you’re willing to give
your girl
over to me, are you?”

As much as I longed for death, I knew I couldn’t leave Shadow in the fate of such an evil bastard. He would make her pay for this, for my loss of control.

Joel’s wide eyes stared at me, begging me to listen to my father. I wanted to stab the tip of my knife through each of his eyeballs for even looking at me.

“Isaac,” Becca begged softly, her soft touch on my back finally breaking through to my sanity. “He’s not worth it.”

“Fuck!”

They all watched my back when I stormed out of the room, Joel’s gasp of relief making me smile to myself.

He thought it was over. The fucking fool.