The Beginning of Connie and Isaac: Blue Butterfly Series (The Blue Butterfly Book 3) (20 page)

ISAAC DIDN’T RETURN
as I sat there between the trees, watching the sun disappear behind the horizon. I wanted to go with it, follow its path down under the ground and welcome the darkness. My heart beat furiously in my chest, yet I didn’t want to feel it anymore. I wanted it to still, to take one last beat and leave me to slither into hell.

I was so tired, my body trembling with exhaustion, my soul subdued and begging for freedom. My insanity had become the very thing that kept me alive, the torture it lived through driving my heart to keep pumping blood around my body.

Finally pushing my weary body up, I blew out a breath and went to accept my fate.

The Phantom home was quiet when I slipped back in. It was supper time but I didn’t bother heading to the dining area in the southern section. I wouldn’t be fed again, and strangely, the calmness that saturated me and granted the constant pain a reprieve didn’t want to be fed. I wanted to leave this earth hungry because that was the only thing I could feel right then. My heart still beat, my soul still held my spirit up, and my mind still placed random thoughts in my head, but I didn’t feel any of those things. Numbness and detachment shielded my despair from my upcoming death.

I thought of Mouse, Woods, and my mother on the slow walk. I smiled. For the first time in a long while, I smiled. I was eager to be with them, to be taken from this horrific life and finally feel the heat of hell on my skin. I knew without a doubt they wouldn’t be there to welcome me, but my mind played with scenarios where, once a year, heaven and hell joined to party and welcome in the New Year together. I laughed at that thought, the faint chuckle the only sound in the empty corridors as I took the journey to my master.

I frowned when, on entering Master’s quarters, an eerie silence welcomed me. Master’s quarters filled the entire north section. It was split into two; the front section where he conducted his business, and the locked and secured part where no one ever ventured was to the rear behind a door. We all speculated about how regal it would be, and what actually went on behind that door, but in reality, none of us wanted to find out.

A group of people stood in a circle surrounding something, and when Isaac turned to me, his eyes wide and worried upon seeing me, my body shivered with anguish.

“What’s going on?”

Isaac swiftly walked to me, his long legs pacing him quickly, and he took my hand then pulled me out of the room. “Isaac?”

He didn’t speak to me as I strained to look over my shoulder at what was going on. I squinted when I managed to see a part of someone on the floor through a gap in the mass of legs, a shock of black hair and what looked like a pool of blood against the paleness of the ivory floor tiles.

“Isaac?” I panicked, pulling out of his grip as I raced across the room. My heart exploded when I saw Rogue’s head sitting a foot from his body, a pond of his blood the only thing joining it to the neck of his body. “NO!”

Isaac caught me when the world went black and I fell to the ground, the dead eyes of my friend the last thing that I saw before the abyss welcomed me.

It all became too much. Upon opening my eyes, I didn’t want to accept that my life went on after the death of Mouse and Rogue. I wanted to follow my friends. I wanted them to take my hand and escort me on the journey they had taken. I couldn’t breathe through the agony of grief clutching at every organ inside me.

Isaac held me, his silent support giving me more than he could ever imagine. “I want to go with them,” I whispered as I rocked with the pain of their deaths. “I – want –to –go – with –them! I can’t do this anymore.”

The sobs that tore from me hurt my ears and I curled even deeper within myself, hating the sound of my defencelessness. Three years of suffering burst from me in a current of snot and tears and pain and misery. I longed for Mae, for my mother, for life beyond the realms of this living hell.

“I can’t…” I wept and vomited at the extent of it all. But Isaac just held me, his strong arms protecting me from myself, his many kisses in my hair soothing the cruel bite inside my skull as insanity corroded my mind.

My body ached with devastation and my bones splintered against the punishing crush of my broken soul. When would it ever end? When would God finally grant me peace and take me away from a life that ripped everything from me in unrelenting barrages of mercilessness? There was nothing left of me, nothing inside me that could carry me through the rest of my days. After everything that the last three years had tormented me with, Mouse and Rogue’s death had finally taken the last part of my strength and annihilated it.

“Why Rogue?” I whispered as my body shook with despair. “Why Rogue?”

“He loved you,” Isaac whispered after a long silence.

His words and the whispered way he said them made me lift my eyes to his. Isaac stared down at me, his eyes telling me what he couldn’t voice. Bile hit the back of my throat and I narrowed my wet eyes on him as my head shook from side to side. “No,” I hissed out as I scrambled away from him, the realisation of what Rogue had done hitting me with a force that winded me. “Tell me he did not... he didn’t… please….”

When Isaac lowered his eyes and nodded, the world around me died right along with me. “He loved you, Shadow. Enough to die for you.”

My vision blurred when I tore into Isaac as the pain inside me became unbearable, my lungs burning with the deluge of pain surging through me. “NO!” I screamed as my fists laid into him. “No!”

I couldn’t breathe as everything broke from me in a swell of hatred and rage. “This is your fault! It’s all your fault. You should have killed me!” I cried as my punches continued to break his skin. “You should have killed us both! I hate you! I hate you!”

My mother. Mouse. Rogue. My father. They all died at my hands. All of them were dead because of me. And I deserved to follow them.

“I have to tell Frederik.”

Isaac chased after me as I ran from the confines of his bedroom, his arms wrapping around me as he stopped me in my mission. “Get off!” I shouted as I struggled in his hold. “I deserve to be with them all.”

I gasped when Isaac’s firm hand slapped my face, my head spinning to the side with the force of his slap. “Rogue died so you didn’t!” he bellowed at me, his anger now as intense as my desolation. “I was willing to die for you! I tried, Connie! I tried but I was too late!”

My name from his mouth froze my body and I stared up at him.

“Don’t throw his love back,” he whispered as his hands framed my face tenderly. “Don’t make his death a mockery. You go and tell Frederik it was you who killed Joel then everything Rogue did was a waste of his life. Honour him, Connie. Accept the gift he wanted you to have.”

His mouth crushed against mine, his tongue seeking out my tears and taking them from me. His arms pulled me tight against him, his devotion to me smothering the pain that cursed me and granted it peace.

“Carry on living,” he whispered as he grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and lifted it over my head. “Use what Rogue gave you. Be the Phantom I need you to be.”

My fingers slid into his hair when his teeth trapped my nipple through the cotton of my bra and he tugged. Dropping to his knees before me, he unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them down my hips, exposing my wet flesh to his mouth. He ate me like a religious man starved of bread and water, his worship on my throbbing cunt breaking my insanity and bringing me to my knees, where he pushed me back, ripped off my jeans and continued his idolisation. Orgasm after orgasm took me to the gates of heaven and back as he feasted on every drop of arousal that flooded his mouth.

And when he slipped me over onto my stomach and pressed his thick cock against my arse, I nodded. “Take me there,” I pleaded. “Please.”

“Have you ever?”

Shaking my head, I looked over my shoulder at him. “I’ve never been loved there.” His eyes widened on me. He knew what I meant. My anal virginity had been taken from me in a horrific way. “I need you to give me back the pleasure.”

He gazed at me for a moment and I wasn’t sure if he was angry or sad. Maybe both. But he lifted to his feet and rummaged through a drawer, coming back to me with a small bottle of what looked like oil. He kissed his way down my back, his tongue tracking each welt and I shivered when I felt a cold trickle between my buttocks.

“Relax, my love,” he urged when he slipped a finger into my backside and I tensed. “I promise I’ll make you feel so good.”

I trusted him, the only person I could ever trust in this sad life, and I did as he asked, making my body relax into the thickness of the lush carpet that covered his once hard floor. My body tingled with pleasure when he pressed two fingers into my pussy and worked my arse until I moaned loudly and pushed myself harder onto him.

“Ready?” he asked gently as his nose nuzzled into the dip of my ear. Nodding, unable to speak, I pressed my backside into his groin, encouraging him.

My fingers clawed at the carpet as he slid his cock into my arse, the pressure overwhelming as he nibbled at the soft skin on my neck. “Oh fuck,” I panted as he pushed slowly all the way in until the fullness made me catch a breath.

“Jesus holy hell,” he hissed out as he drew the tip of his nose across the nape of my neck. “You okay?”

I moaned, meaning to say yes but all that came out was a voice of my pleasure. So I nodded again. He drew out of me so slowly I had to clench my teeth against the sensation of it, but when he pressed back in, I lifted my bottom and the angle seemed to accommodate him a little more. Isaac was big, his cock fat and long, and I was apprehensive that he might tear me but his tender devotion to pleasuring me made me writhe in bliss beneath him. Sensing my need for more, he sped up slightly, his cock sliding in and out of my arse so perfectly paced that the feeling of him pushing and pulling built a climax so quickly I choked on my own scream when it suddenly burst inside me.

“Shit, Connie!” he cried out.

A sob tore from me at the sound of my name once again leaving him with his loss of control. Isaac was always so disciplined with his feelings, and I realised that when he was emotional he couldn’t control what he said, hence my real name bursting from him as his own orgasm took him into the sphere of ecstasy. And I gave him that. I made him feel so good that he lost control. And that, with the wave of bliss rolling over me, brought me back over the edge until I was screaming his name with the heat of rapture that gripped every bone in my body.

I had fallen in love with the man who had taken so much from me. I had loved him for such a long time that when he rolled over onto his back, groaned and broke wind, I just sighed and rolled my eyes. Love is a strange thing.