The Beginning of Us (4 page)

I was settling into this other world, even with all the questions circling my head.

***

Raegan came over a few hours before the party to get ready. She was distant but in a good mood. We listened to Katy Perry – an artist I never grew out of even in my real life – and danced around.

“Don't let me get wasted tonight. I probably won't even drink, because I definitely don't wanna spend the night in a barn,” Raegan commented, applying eye makeup. She smoothed lavender powder over her eyelids and shadowed it with a darker plum. For me it would've looked ridiculous, but on her it looked amazing.

“Do we even drink that much anyway?” the question slipped out and I bit my lip nervously at sounding like an idiot.

Raegan shrugged, “Well, no, not really. Not like our fellow peers, but hell if there's free beer I'm not gonna pass it up.”

I smiled and nodded thoughtfully in response, thankful she didn't attack me over my question. She finished smoothing all her make-up and turned to me with my hairbrush, “Come on girl, let me put your hair up and we can get going.”

Chapter Five

Teegan

The barn was decorated with clear lights and cheap multicolored banners. A crudely handmade ping Pong table stood outside with red solo cups set up, ready for a game of beer Pong.

The noise was absolutely deafening. Some country song blared over a crappy speaker system and everyone was shouting.

“Oh my," I whispered.

Raegan jerked her head to stare at me. "Welcome to hillbilly hell,” she muttered in disgust and I laughed. She looked so pissed. But I didn't care; I was too high from the adrenaline of seeing Jax soon, coupled with the fact that he wanted me to come here. Even in this completely chaotic environment, he felt safe, just like always.

“At least you look hot, Red,” I volunteered. And she did with her purple leggings and a black tunic. She had put her flame-red hair up into a fishtail braid. I had coupled a pair of denim jeans with a peasant halter top and had fishtail braided my hair too.

There were at least half a dozen kegs littering the place and groups of our peers gathered near every one. Back when I was in high school, I never went to parties like this; I was socially awkward and hung out with the theater kids. We did our own thing, held our own 'parties' at houses that involved playing board games.

This was something new.
An entirely new experience with a young Jaxon.
The thought made me warm all over.

“Why did you even want to come here?" Raegan whined as we arrived at one of the kegs.

“Because... Jax invited us,” I answered. She sighed, filled two cups with beer and we headed over to another crudely made table.

“What is
up
with that anyway? I thought you didn’t like him?” she asked, handing me my cup.

I honestly didn't know what to say. She was talking about my husband, ex-husband, whatever he was.

I was about to say something when the group from school that we hung out with, came up to us. I still didn’t remember all their names, but I was thankful they saved me from any more questions from Raegan. It was ruining my mood. I flopped down in a flimsy camping chair and zoned out as Raegan and the others chatted.

As I started to people watch, I spotted Jax. His back was turned as he stood next to a keg wearing light blue jeans and a dark blue plaid shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbow.

He came.
The thought made my heart skip a beat.

He turned around and began scanning the crowd. Before I could look down, he took hold of my gaze. Flames of embarrassment fanned throughout my body as I gave a small smile and a tiny wave. His face broke out into a grin and he raised his hand.

Just then a guy walked up and clapped him on the shoulder. But Jax never broke his eye contact with me. He held up one finger and said something to the drunk guy, who in turn laughed with an open mouth.

Jax fist bumped the guy and kind of gave him a shove sideways, still not breaking eye contact with me. It was so awkward and comical at the same time that I laughed out loud.

“Teegan?” Raegan asked, but I ignored her, continuing my staring contest with Jax. He began walking in my direction and the flames from before turned into something else. Something hotter and more foreign.

I wanted to kiss him so bad, I realized. As that thought flew past me, it terrified me in every kind of delicious way possible.

He reached our table and nodded to the girls, "Ladies, y’all havin' a good night?" he asked with a lopsided grin. They muttered a chorus of answers, but my focus was zeroed in on his face. His dimples were on show, emphasizing his high cheekbones. He looked at me and his smile grew. 

Years ago it was that devilish grin that wooed me, the way his front teeth were just slightly crooked, that charmed the pants off me. It wasn't perfect by society's standards, but it was perfect for me. I loved his smile.

"Teegan," he finally acknowledged. He took a knee to get on my eye level, “I'm happy you decided to come.” His voice was low and smooth like honey and I had to stop to keep from grabbing his face and kissing him right there.

"Me too," I whispered back, gazing at his lips, how full and perfect they were.

“You having fun?” he asked.

I shrugged, “Meh, a little, we just got here.” I took a swallow from the solo cup and tried not to make a face. Cheap beer did not get along with my taste buds no matter how old I was. He was so close I could smell his cologne, a manly mountain scent. On anyone else it would be too much, on him it was perfect.

You’re falling for him all over again.
The thought jerked me back to reality. Jax smiled at me.

“Can I steal you away for a bit?” Jax asked, his icy blue eyes gleaming with hope and a little bit of nervousness.

My eyes went wide and I blinked in surprise. He didn't wait for an answer as he took my hand and stood up.

“Bring her back in one piece Donney,” Raegan called, her head cocked to the side with a smirk plastered on it.

“Of course, Raegan. I've heard about red heads and the temper y'all have,” he joked, winking. He grabbed my hand, interlocking our fingers, and walked off.

My heart was beating furiously. I had already determined days ago that this was not a dream, but rather some weird vortex time travel I had gotten sucked into. But even so it felt unreal.

“You look very pretty, Teegan,” Jax complimented, leaning his head close to mine so his breath tickled my ear. My face flushed and heat radiated from my stomach.

“Thanks. You look nice too; that shirt brings out your eyes.”

“Does it now?” He stopped and turned to face me. We were near a tree with paper lanterns hanging haphazardly from its small branches. It hurt to look at him,
physically
hurt my heart. He looked just like Josie – his smile, his dimples and the way his hair fell across his forehead. I missed our daughter. The thought put a noose around my throat and tightened. I was afraid I was going to start bawling right there on the spot. Instead, I took a drink, finishing the nasty beer. While it was disgusting, it was doing its job; I felt lighter, a little looser. I had always been a lightweight.

“Do you need a refill?” Jax asked, eying the cup.

Scrunching up my nose I handed it to him, “It taste like shit, but yeah go ahead.”

He laughed softly. “I know where the good beer is. Come on.” He threw both our cups on the ground and I had to catch myself from correcting him about being a litterbug. I held my tongue and followed him out to the area adjacent to the barn where everyone had parked their vehicles.

We arrived at his truck, an old 1963 shiny blue Ford. Under the moonlight in the dark, it glowed like a thousand stars. I remembered this truck, it was the one he had in college that his granddad had given him.

 He undid the tail gate and reached into a cooler. He produced two cans of way better beer, and handed one to me.

“Here you go? Better?”

“Oh hell yes! Thanks,” I called out, popping the tab. I took a slow pull from it and put it down on the bed. “I like your truck.” My voice was soft in admiration. I remembered the day he traded it in college. But that hadn’t happened yet. We were in the past. Which was our present.

“Yeah it was my granddad's. He gave it to me last year. Old Blue, that’s its name,” he gazed at it with pride. "You wanna sit on the tailgate for a while?

His nervousness showed and it made me feel dizzy. I nodded and he scooted my beer to the other side along with his. Turning to face me, he placed his hands on my hips. We were inches apart, my head coming to the very center of his chest and everything in me froze. He gently lifted me with ease onto the bed of the truck. He paused and gazed at me, his hands sliding up and around my waist. It was sweet and completely sexy, and everything inside me had liquefied.

He climbed up and sat close so our hips were touching. “Can I tell you something Teeg?” he asked, turning toward me.

I nodded, “Go for it.”

“This week has been so weird. You’ve seem so different than usual. Before... Before, you hated me, for some unknown reason. You and Raegan were so against me. But now... I don’t know. You’ve changed. You’ve come out of your shell, almost like you’re a new person.”

You really have no idea.

“And I like it," he continued. "
A lot.
I like you. I have for a long time." he finished lowering his gaze. Gone was the cocky jester from school. Here was Jax, the vulnerable boy who just confessed his feelings.

I reached tentatively over and entwined our fingers. His hand was warm and strong. So big compared to mine. Just like always.

“I like you too, Jax."

In fact, I love you.

He looked up, surprised etched on his face. He grinned unabashedly. "Really?"

I nodded, “I don’t know what's going on, this week has been strange. But I'm sorry for how I’ve acted in the past.”

“It's all right. Chicks are weird like that. I won't hold it against you." Ah, there was the comedian.

The alcohol had totally moved the shield I had put up the past week. For the first time since waking up as a teenager, I finally felt normal, like this was where I belonged.

“Can I kiss you, Teegan?” he whispered. He was dangerously close, and it took all the restraint I had not to strip his clothes off right then and there. This was
my
Jax. And I missed him.

“Is this how you are away from the crowds? Sweet, mannerly, a gentleman?” I asked. He closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip.

He opened his eyes again and said, “With you, yeah. It's not an act, Teegan. I don’t want to mess things up when it comes to you.” His voice was quiet, serious. His eyes pleaded with me to believe him.

I broke my hand free of his hold and reached up to touch his lips. I gently traced the outline of his mouth with my thumb and he surprised me by shutting his eyes and taking hold of my hand. He softly kissed my fingertips and smiled, eyes still unopened.

It was a very beautiful gesture; something he had never done as an adult and it brought tears to my eyes.

“Nothing else but a kiss,” I warned, my voice low and raspy.

He opened his eyes. “Never.”

He leaned in and our lips gently met each other. He moaned softly and brought his hand up to cup my cheek.

We kissed deeply for a very long time. Not even coming up for air, we just stayed locked together. It never became frenzied, but instead was one continuous slow dance with his tongue slipping into my mouth every now and then. His hands held my face gently, sometimes running through my hair. Every touch was magnified one thousand percent. I didn't want it to ever end.

In the end, he pulled back ever so slowly and looked at me with a grin. "Whoa."

Our foreheads were together and we sat there breathing slow, deep breaths.

“I really liked that,” I whispered. I wanted so much more though. We had always been so good for each other, our bodies perfectly made counterparts for the other.

“Me too." he leaned in and kissed me again. "I want you to be my girlfriend Teegan," he whispered, needing a break, "Even though that's corny as hell, please say yes."

Those last three words pushed me over the edge and I kissed him hard. I pushed him down to the edge of the truck, straddled him, and we went on kissing. Jax moaned again and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me as close as we could be. My teenage hormones were entirely off the charts and I felt so incredibly alive in that way, more than I had in years as being an adult.

His kisses trailed down my neck onto my collarbone, but stopped there. He was really a gentleman. He left a blazing hot trail of flame at every piece of flesh he kissed.

Eventually, he pulled me back. “Is that a yes?” he joked.

“Yes, of course I will.”

“So you’re really my girl?”

“Yup,” I said, nodding my head as he grinned enthusiastically.

  “Hell yes.” I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he embraced me in a tight hug.

“I'm so glad Teegan. Really. I've wanted this for a long time.”

I climbed off him and sat beside him. “Why though? I mean, I'm super flattered, I really am. But we hardly know each other and apparently I've been a real bitch to you at times.”

I silently prayed that he wouldn’t freak out by the prospect of having a talk like this. The answers teenage guys gave to the question of 'why do you like me' weren’t very complex usually.

“Cause I see how you are around others. Laughing all the time, but also serious when you're listening to someone. Hugging Raegan all the time. Hell, you hug everybody all the time. You and I may not have gotten along, but I could tell you were a good person.” He shrugged and glanced behind us for his beer. He grabbed it and took a long pull from it. “Plus, you’re good with kids. Remember around Christmas when those Head Start kids came to our class for gifts? That underprivileged project we had to do?”

I nodded, but the reality was I had no clue what he was talking about. But what I did know was that he was fond of kids. His little sister at this time in life was probably around five or six. My heart twanged at the thought of Roxy.