The Berserker and the Pedant (7 page)

"Yes, fine. I'm an elf! Are you happy?" said Pellonia.

Pellonia stood in the clearing next to her big sister, the elven maid Melody. Melody was a stunning beauty; men had undoubtably fought many duels over her. Pellonia, on the other hand, looked to be a girl of twelve. She might be beautiful one day, but had not even started to come into her own. Side by side, however, Arthur could see the family resemblance, though he had yet to remark upon it. 

Gurken lay on the ground, panting furiously, recovering from his… well, one could hardly call it a fight. Nor could one call it a fray, for no blows were struck. Dispute wouldn't work, either. Melody bore no disagreements with Gurken. No, Gurken lay on the ground, recovering from an "exchange" with Melody. Arthur stood beside him, hoping for an exchange of his own. With Melody, not Gurken.

"If by happy, you mean confused, then… yes," said Arthur. "How can you be an elf? Your ears aren't pointy and you don't move like… well, like that," said Arthur, delicately waving a hand in Melody's direction, as if he might displease her by acknowledging her presence. She curtsied at the compliment, winking at him.

Pellonia crossed her arms and gave Arthur a stern look. She said nothing. Arthur withered a bit under her scowl.

"Oh, she'll have pointy ears and move like me if she really wants to," Melody interjected, an interjection Arthur felt most welcome, judging by the look of relief upon his countenance. "In fact, that's why I'm here." Melody turned towards Pellonia. "It's time to come home, sis. It's time for your Awakening. The elves are leaving this world."

Pellonia's eyes grew wide. "Oh, no. No, thanks. I'm happy just the way I am. No Awakening happening here," Pellonia said, pointing at her body and forgetting all about being huffy towards Arthur. "Besides, I don't want to leave; I like it here. It's nice."

"Sorry, Pell, I don't make the rules. I'm not here to enforce them, either - just delivering a message."

"Right, then," Pellonia said. "I appreciate that. I do. I really do. But you see, I can't leave just yet. I'm in the middle of a quest."

Still lying on the ground, but having recovered a great deal of his breath and therefore able to add his two cents, Gurken began, "Middle of the quest? More like the en-" Further speech was, unfortunately, for Gurken, impeded by Pellonia's foot coming down on his face, squishing it into the mud.

"Like I was saying, I'm in the - middle - of the quest to retrieve the Orb of Skzd for the temple of Durstin Firebeard. It's quite important. Maybe, you know, after the quest is all done, I can go home for the Awakening. I'm under a geas, you know, 'mystically compelled' to recover the orb, can't leave yet. Yeah, tell Mom that after the quest, I'll be right there."

Melody laughed. "I'll tell her but I don't think she'll buy-."

Pellonia interjected, "Fine, thanks! We've got to be going now. Got to return the orb!" She lifted Moog, who was still holding tightly onto the orb, off the ground. "Can't stay, must be going! This orb won't return itself." 

Pellonia put Moog under her arm and started to walk off. Arthur followed after her, waving and smiling at Melody as he went. Gurken got up off the ground, wiped the mud off his face, shrugged towards Melody, retrieved his axe and sauntered after them.

When Melody saw the orb in Moog's hand, her eyes widened. "Pell," she said, "That's not th-"

"Okay, thanks, Mel. We'll be seeing you. After the quest. After."

"But, that's not th-"

"Buh-bye!" Pellonia rounded the bend, still waving at Melody, and went out of sight. Gurken, Arthur, and Moog followed.

Melody smiled. "That's not the-"

"Not the Orb of Skzd!?!" Pellonia shouted. "What do you mean, it's not the Orb of Skzd? How many orbs does Moog have?"

Moog grinned. Pellonia, Arthur and Moog stood outside the Temple of Durstin back in the village. Gurken had gone inside with the orb to relay the news of the success of their quest and returned with the revelation. He handed this orb back to Moog, who kissed it and gave it a hug.

"Well, you see," said Gurken, "The priests determined, based upon their vast experience and knowledge of the subject, that this orb is lacking in several key properties the Orb of Skzd possesses."

Pellonia glared through squinting eyes. "Like what?" she said through her teeth.

Gurken held up a rolled parchment, allowing it to unfurl towards Pellonia. On the parchment was a rather handsomely drawn picture of a cube, etched with mystical symbols.

"That's a cube," Arthur noted, shaking his head. "Not an orb. Orbs are spherical." He drew a circle in the air with his finger.

"Not everyone has your knack for detail, Arthur," Gurken explained. "I have it on good authority that this is an accurate drawing of the Orb of Skzd. Moog, where is THIS orb?"

Moog scratched his hair-covered belly, then the top of his head. He smiled. Then frowned. Then smiled again, and finally… frowned. "Troll took it," he said, smiling again.

"Where did the troll take it?" Pellonia asked.

"Mine," said Moog, happy to have aided in the quest.

"Huh," Arthur said. "I guess 'mines' really did refer to the mines."

"Mine," Moog agreed. Pellonia glared. Gurken nodded.

"It's like I was trying to tell you, Pel." Melody came up from behind. She surprised them, not because she made a sudden appearance, but because of the way she flowed out of the environment and into their notice. It was as if she'd always been there and they were the ones intruding upon her. "That's not the Orb of Skzd, Pel. If you'd been Awakened last cycle like you were supposed to, you would've known that… I'm just saying." Pellonia glared at her.

"Then, what orb is that?" Arthur asked, pointing at the orb in Moog's hands.

"I'm not sure. Moog, dear, would you be so kind as to let me hold it for a bit?"

"Moog," Moog agreed, an enormous smile upon his face. He handed her the orb, nearly fainting as his skin touched hers while handing over the orb.

Melody turned the orb over in her hands, examining it. She held it in one hand and waved her other hand over it in an intricate pattern. The orb rose from her hand, hovering in the air and glowing with a blue light.

"It's a radiant orb, an orb of light. It's nothing special, one of the five basic types." She waved her hand at it dismissively and it turned dark and fell into her other hand. "Elves learning to craft orbs practice by first building one of these. It can emit and redirect light. Sorry that it's not something more valuable. Since the priests don't seem to want it, though, its yours." 

She tossed the orb towards Moog, who stepped out of the way and turned his nose up at it. The orb hit the ground and rolled to a stop just in front of Arthur.

Arthur picked it up. "Moog, if you don't mind terribly, I'd like to hold onto this orb," he said, staring at it and wiggling his fingers over it. Moog shrugged, indifferent towards his once beloved orb.

Melody smiled and removed a necklace from her neck. The necklace was a brown leather cord with a triangle pendant cut from a burgundy colored stone. "Here, Moog. I'm sorry that I took the pleasure of that treasure away from you. Let me restore that feeling with a gift." She hung the necklace around Moog's neck. He beamed with satisfaction.

"Thank you!" Moog said. 

Melody nodded, turning to the rest of the group. "Well, if you don't mind too terribly, I would accompany you on the rest of your quest. If Pel does end up staying here, I may never see her again, and I'd like to spend some time with her."

"I'll give you a ride," Arthur said. "Hop on!" Pellonia looked at Arthur, mouth open wide in shock. Her face turned red and she looked positively livid.

"Pellonia," Arthur said, "can I talk to you for a minute?" He started trotted away from the group. Pellonia hurried over and caught up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Pellonia's scowl gave way to a frown and a tear slowly rolled down from each eye. "It's nothing," she sniffled. Arthur stopped and looked at her. "It's just… it's Melody. She's always been better at everything than I. She's prettier, she's smarter, she gets all of the attention. I mean, I love her, it's just… hard."

Arthur nodded.

"I mean, what if I go through the Awakening and I'm still not as pretty as she is, and I'm still not as smart? Look at her. How could I ever move like she does? How does she smile so much without her cheeks getting all crampy?"

"Well," Arthur said, "the ways of the elves are mysterious to me, but there is no way she is smarter or prettier than you. After the Awakening, oh boy, she'd better watch out. Her little sister might just outshine her."

"You think so?" Pellonia asked.

"I know so." Arthur nodded. "You'll just have to trust me on this; I'm half-unicorn. We know such things."

"Oh, very well." Pellonia smiled weakly.

"Also, you may want to consider being nicer to Melody. She's leaving this world, possibly forever. You won't know what you're missing out on until you've lost her, and if you don't go with her, it will be too late."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Pellonia said begrudgingly.

"Tell you what… hop on." He gestured with a thumb towards his back.

Pellonia's eyes grew wide in excitement. A big smile grew on her face. 

"Really?" 

"Really." 

"Really, really?" 

"Really, really." 

"Really, really, rea-"

"Stop talking and get on before I change my mind."

Pellonia clapped her hands, then reached up. Arthur hoisted her up by her waist and set her on his back. Arthur, the half-unicorn centaur wizard, gave his first ride to Pellonia, the innocent elven child. She was positively glowing as they returned to the group, sitting astride Arthur, no radiant orb required.

"Hey, you offered me the ride," Melody said, smiling.

"Sorry, Melody," said Arthur. "This seat's taken." Pellonia wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a squeeze.

Episode Eight

The Berserker and the Trolls

"Gurken," said Arthur. "It really would assist the quest if you would deign to mount the horse." Arthur stomped a hoof in frustration, his long white tail swishing from side to side. He stood just outside the corral of a horse trader, holding onto the reins of a horse. The horse looked bored. 

Gurken shook his head.

"Come on, Gurken, it'll get us back to the mines faster," said Pellonia, sitting on Arthur's back, grinning stupidly and petting Antic. Soft clicking sounds came from the ant as it purred appreciatively.

Gurken continued shaking his head, lips pursed.

Melody sat on another horse, a chestnut brown mare with white socks. "It will only be for a short time," Melody said. She smiled.

"I'm afraid not," Gurken replied. "Dwarfs and horses don't get along. I'd sooner eat one." Moog, the knoll dwarf mender, peeked out from behind Gurken, eyes wide with fear. "Don't worry, Moog," Gurken said, patting him on the head. "We're not riding one of those beasts. We'll have to get a carriage."

"There are no carriages in the entire village," Melody said. "It's not like we're in a large city. If we had the Orb of Skzd, I could open a portal and we'd be there."

"If we had the Orb of Skzd," Gurken replied, crossing his arms, "we wouldn't need to go there to get it."

Melody smiled. "If you won't get on a horse, I'm afraid you'll have to walk. It's only a seven day ride."

"Walking suits me fine. If Arthur's walking, so can I." Gurken shouldered his pack and started walking.

-- Fourteen days later --

"There. That's the cave where the trolls came out," Pellonia said. They peeked through the bushes down the narrow canyon, looking past an overturned mining cart. Rusting tracks ran into the tunnel. The sun was overhead, beating down on them. There was no sign of the trolls.

"Now," said Gurken. "Here's the plan…"

"Gurken," Melody interjected, smiling and speaking gently. "I've been around for over a hundred years - you've been alive for, what? A few dozen at most? I'll come up with the plan."

"But…"