The Best of Everything (10 page)

P
hillip finally knew what it meant to have the wind knocked clean out of him because that’s exactly how he’d felt when the doctor had pronounced his father dead. His father had flat-lined without warning, and although the ICU medical staff had tried their best to revive him, they hadn’t been able to do so. Phillip had stood at a distance, studying them as they worked frantically and he was glad his mother had chosen to remain in the waiting area. As a matter of fact, he was sure he wasn’t supposed to be inside the unit either, not while a code was being handled, but with all that was going on, he guessed they hadn’t paid much attention to him.

Now, though, one day later, he wished he’d waited outside like everyone else, because he would never forget what it was like, physically watching his father die. It had been horrible, and the only solace he’d been able to find last night was in the arms of his wife. It was true that he’d never been more hurt, felt more empty, or felt more alone, but it had helped having Alicia right there with him. Loving him, caressing him, consoling him. And then, while he hadn’t wanted anyone to see him in such a sad state, he was thankful to Miss Thelma and Curtis and Charlotte for being with them at the hospital and then coming to his parents’ house. He
was thankful to his other set of in-laws, too, Tanya and James, as well as a few of the members from his parents’ church because they’d dropped by and kept his mother’s spirits up as best they could.

It was a rough time in Phillip’s life, and it was only going to get worse as the day went on because in a few hours they’d have to head out to the funeral home to make his father’s arrangements. Phillip already dreaded going near that place and couldn’t wait for that part to be over with.

Phillip went into the newly remodeled kitchen, the one his parents had finally decided to upgrade after more than thirty years, and sat down at the table. His mother, Miss Thelma, and Alicia were eating breakfast.

His mother smoothed the side of his face. “You okay?”

“Not really, but…”

“Can I fix you something to eat?” Miss Thelma asked.

“No, thank you. I’m not really hungry.”

“Well, you’re going to have to eat sometime, and it may as well be now.”

He could tell Miss Thelma wasn’t planning to take no very easily, but his stomach was tying itself in knots and he just didn’t have an appetite.

“You know we have to meet with the funeral director in a couple of hours.”

Phillip nodded and then looked down at the table.

“Son, I know this is hard, but there’s no sense putting off what we know we have to do.”

“You’re right, but I’m just dreading this, and it’s almost like this isn’t real.”

“I feel the same way, and this morning when I first woke up, I turned to look at your father and then realized he wasn’t there. I realized he was never going to be there ever again.” Phillip’s
mother shed a few tears, but then quickly got control of herself. “I felt like I wanted to die, too, but then I thought about how the last thing your father would want us to do is fret over him. He always used to say that just as surely as we come here, we’re going to leave here, and there ain’t no sense in trying to maneuver your way around it.”

Miss Thelma smiled. “That sure is what he would say. He said that all the time.”

“Then he would go on to talk about how he knew he was never going to be a rich man but that whenever it came time to put him away, he wanted to go in style. He would talk about how he wanted all the stops to be pulled so he could have a memorable send-off. He even made sure he got an extra insurance policy just to cover his funeral expenses.”

Phillip wasn’t interested in any of what his mother and Miss Thelma were talking about, but he pretended that he was. He knew they were trying to stay positive, look on the bright side of things, and he didn’t want to hurt their feelings. “Then we’ll do exactly what Dad would have wanted.”

“That we will.”

“I think I’m going to get dressed.”

“Go ahead, son. Do what you need to do.”

Phillip left and went back into the bedroom and Alicia followed behind him.

“I just don’t see how this is ever going to get better.”

“I know, honey, but it will.”

“My parents have always been everything to me but now my father is gone. Then, on top of that, I’m worried about my mom. She hasn’t been alone in all these years, so who’s going to look out for her?”

“We’ll look out for her. Miss Thelma will and other people, too.”

“But it won’t be the same. It won’t be the same as having someone here with her day in and day out. It won’t be the same at all.”

Alicia didn’t say anything but reached out to hug him. He felt so secure when they embraced this way, and it was the only thing keeping him going.

“I’m having a tough time with this, too, though, because I’m so hurt that I didn’t get to see him again. Not ever did I think that when he and Mom Katherine left Mitchell on Sunday that that would be the last time I would see him alive.”

“But, baby, we already went over that, and there’s no reason for you to feel bad. You didn’t leave home until late morning and then with the car quitting on the expressway, you couldn’t help not being there. It would have been nice for you to have seen him, but you had no control over that.”

“I know, but I still feel bad. I should have been there for you when it happened.”

“I wish you could have because while I was trying to console Mom, I still couldn’t wait for you to walk through those doors. I mean, if there was ever a time when I needed you, it was then and now. But like I said, there was nothing you could have done that would have gotten you to the hospital any earlier, so stop beating yourself up.”

“I’ll try, and I just want you to know that I’ll do anything you want me to do. For you or your mom.”

Phillip hugged her and was glad he had such a compassionate wife, the kind any man needed at a time such as this.

Mom Katherine browsed through the catalog but then turned back to the page that showed a casket designed in cherry wood. It was beautifully polished and looked every bit worth the
three thousand dollars the coffin manufacturer was charging.

“This is the one. This is the one Phil would want, and I even think one time he showed me a picture of one that was pretty similar.”

She passed the catalog over to Phillip, and he took a closer look. “Whatever you want is fine with me. It’s definitely a nice one, if there is such a thing as a nice casket.”

The funeral director, who sort of looked dead himself, spoke up. “It’s one of our top sellers and one of the best you can buy in this category. It’s an excellent choice.”

Mom Katherine took the catalog back and looked at it one last time. “What do you think, Thelma?”

“It’s beautiful. Very elegant.”

“Then we’ll take it. Phil wanted something exquisite, and I think this will do very nicely.”

Alicia sat listening to the way Mom Katherine and Miss Thelma carried on about the casket, but to her it sounded more like they were shopping for high-priced living room furniture. Maybe she was just too young to understand it but from the look on Phillip’s face, he didn’t get it either.

Then, the place in general gave her the creeps. The atmosphere seemed morbid, as did the music that was playing in the background, and Alicia couldn’t wait to get out of there.

“Now, you’re sure this is okay with you?” Mom Katherine asked Phillip again.

“Yes, really, Mom, it is.”

Actually, Alicia was a bit surprised that Phillip hadn’t made any objections because when it came to anything else, including her, he was very money conscious and was always worried about paying too much for everything. But maybe he was okay with this because he didn’t have to pay anything out of his own pocket.

After deciding on which vault to go with, something Alicia had no idea about because she’d always thought the casket itself went straight into the ground and didn’t need anything to protect it, they ordered a limousine to serve as the family car, and then decided on the day and time of the funeral, which would be three days from now on Saturday. The visitation would take place three hours before the service started.

When they finished, they headed over to the flower shop and ordered a flower blanket for the casket as well as family wreaths. One would have a ribbon that said, “husband,” one would say “father,” and the other two would say “father-in-law” and “brother.”

They were finally headed home but when Mom Katherine remembered that she’d forgotten to pick up the clothes she’d dropped off at the cleaners a couple of days ago, Phillip took her by there to get them. While she was inside, the dealership called Alicia’s cell phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Alicia?”

“Yes, it is.”

“This is Richard Freeman calling from Jay Carson, the BMW dealership your car was towed to, and I wanted to let you know that we have it ready for you.”

“Oh, thank you. We’ll pick it up in a little while.”

“You had some electrical issues going on, but now you should be good to go.”

“Sounds good, and thanks again.”

“See you soon.”

Phillip looked at her. “Your car ready?”

“Yep.”

“Well, as soon as we drop Mom and Miss Thelma at home, we can swing by and pick it up.”

When Mom Katherine came out of the cleaners, Phillip asked her if she needed him to get out and help her but when she said, “absolutely not, you stay where you are,” apparently trying to prove her independence, he popped the trunk with the interior latch, she laid the clothing inside, and then got back into the car. It only took ten minutes to arrive at the house and then Alicia and Phillip headed out to the dealership.

There had been some traffic but thankfully not enough to slow them down to a crawl the way that accident had caused her to do yesterday.

Phillip pulled into the parking lot, turned off the ignition, and they walked inside.

Alicia smiled at the service guy. “We’re here to pick up a car for Sullivan.”

“Yes, I’m Richard, the one who called you,” he said extending his hand to both of them.

“So, she shouldn’t have any problems after this?” Phillip asked.

Richard passed Alicia the key that had a service tag attached to it. “No, not at all. It was electrical, but she’s all set. And it was completely under warranty, so there’s no charge.”

“Sounds good.”

“You two take care.”

They went back outside, and Alicia walked around to the passenger door. “Do you wanna drive?”

“That’s fine, but you know what? Mom didn’t take her clothes from the cleaners out of the trunk of the loaner, so let me run back in to get the key.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right.”

Alicia got in the car and turned on the radio. Beyoncé was singing one of her older singles, “Me, Myself and I,” and Alicia loved that. She even started singing some of the lyrics but then
stopped midsentence when she saw Phillip heading toward her, carrying two Macy’s bags. With everything that had gone on with her father-in-law, she’d totally forgotten about them and all she could hope was that Phillip hadn’t looked inside them. If she was lucky, maybe he’d just assume these bags were just part of the stuff she’d brought with her from home yesterday.

But when she saw the outraged look on his face and the receipt he was carrying in his hand, she knew he’d figured out everything.

Phillip bypassed the driver’s side and walked around to where she was sitting. “What’s this, Alicia?”

“What?”

He pushed the receipt closer to her. “This. This receipt from Macy’s that has a time of ten twenty
A.M
. on it.”

Alicia saw a couple of customers looking over at them. “Phillip, please just get in the car. You’re making a scene.”

“That’s the least of my worries, so just tell me. How could you have made a purchase twenty minutes after the store opened, if you were still in Mitchell right before ten? Because last I checked, Mitchell is easily an hour and forty-five minutes from the mall listed on this receipt.”

“It’s not what you think.”

“
Not what I think
? Then what is it exactly? Explain it to me.”

“If you get in the car, I will.”

“No. I want you to tell me now. But you can’t, can you, because you know you’ve been caught in your lie?”

“Will you please stop all this yelling? This is crazy.”

“So, now I guess I’m wondering where the car really broke down. Were you really on the expressway like you said?”

Alicia turned away from him and looked straight ahead.

But Phillip opened up the bag that contained the athletic shoes and pulled out the receipt for those and scanned it as well.
“Did you even try this stuff on? Because it looks like you bought these barely twenty minutes later.”

Alicia didn’t want to make him more neurotic than he was, so she would never tell him that she hadn’t tried any of it on and that she didn’t have to because she knew her sizes.

Two of the service men stood a few feet away. “Sir, is everything okay?”

Phillip opened the back door of the car and threw the bags on the backseat. “Everything is fine, and I’m sorry for the disturbance.”

Then he finally got in the car and drove away.

“Honey, I am so, so sorry.”

She waited for Phillip to say something, but he drove in silence. He never even looked at her.

“Phillip, please listen to me. I wasn’t there very long, and I was only twenty minutes away from the hospital.”

Still he wouldn’t say anything.

“Please don’t be mad at me. I now realize that I shouldn’t have stopped there, but I promise it won’t happen again. I’m really, really sorry, and I’ll never forgive myself for what I did yesterday.”

Phillip finally turned and looked at her. “Oh yeah? Well, that’s good because neither will I.”

A
s soon as Alicia and Phillip walked inside his parents’ house, he went straight into the bedroom.

Mom Katherine frowned and then called out to him. “Phillip? What’s wrong?”

But Alicia heard him close the door.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“We had an argument.”

“Oh. Well, sometimes that’s what married people do.”

Miss Thelma laughed. “Isn’t that the truth? I argued with my Johnny all the time, God rest his soul. But we wouldn’t have traded each other for anything.”

Mom Katherine patted her hand on the table. “Go ahead and sit down, sweetheart. He’ll be fine, and maybe you should just give him some time alone. He’s probably just a little on edge because he’s hurting so badly over his father.”

Alicia took a seat and hung her Gucci shoulder bag over the back of the chair, the one she’d bought herself for graduation. Her mother-in-law and Miss Thelma were sorting through photos.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Well, once we pick out a few good photos of Phil and also
some family photos we can use, we’ll still need to pick out a suit for your father-in-law so we can get it over to the funeral home by tomorrow. Then, we need to put together the obituary information and the way we want the order of service to go, so the church can get the programs formatted and printed.”

“I can do that, but maybe Phillip will want to help you pick out a suit for his dad.”

“Maybe, but I don’t know because he’s just not himself.”

That was putting it lightly. Alicia had seen him angry in the past, plenty of times over the last few weeks, but she’d never seen him quite this infuriated, the way he’d been this afternoon. He’d acted as though she’d killed somebody. Yes, she was wrong for stopping at the mall, and yes, she was wrong for lying to him, but it wasn’t like she’d gone out and slept with another man. She was guilty as charged but not of the kind of crime he was making this out to be. She was sorry—more than sorry—but Phillip was taking this too far.

“If you have some paper,” Alicia said, “we can just stay in here to figure out the program, and that way, you can keep going through the photos while we do it. I could just write everything down and then go into the den to type it up.”

“That would be good. There should be a pad of paper and some pens in the desk that the computer sits on.”

Alicia got up and went to get the paper and came back to the kitchen. Then she pulled out her black Mont Blanc pen to write with. She’d seen some generic pens, the same as Mom Katherine had told her, but Alicia preferred using her own. She’d gotten used to the feel of it and rarely used anything else. At three hundred dollars, her writing instrument had cost her quite a bit, even in her opinion, but she loved it so and was glad she’d bought it.

“I guess we should start with the obituary,” Mom Katherine
said. “Because we’ll also need to get this to the funeral home so they can submit it to our suburban newspaper.”

Alicia opened the notebook. “I’m ready when you are.”

“I have a number of sample funeral programs that I kept when certain friends at the church passed away, so you can use them as an example.”

“Okay.”

“We’ll need his full name, his age, and the day he died and that he departed after a short illness. Then, we can list where he was born, his parents’ names, where he worked and for how long before retiring, and that he was a faithful member of Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church as well as a member of the male chorus there.”

Alicia jotted down everything her mother-in-law was saying and once she finished with the family section, which wasn’t very long, she added the name of the funeral home and the cemetery location.

“For the service, we can use the same format as one of the samples I’m going to pull out for you, but I do want to make sure that the two solos are ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ and ‘His Eye Is on the Sparrow.’”

Alicia smiled when she thought about how much Phillip loved that song and how he’d just requested that one of the teenagers in the youth choir sing it this past Sunday.

“Your father-in-law loved that song and so do I. We’ve loved it for years, and I guess that’s why it’s one of Phillip’s favorites, too.”

“I was just thinking how he’d asked Brittany to sing it when you and Dad Phil were in town.”

Mom Katherine rested her hands on the table and sighed. “I know. And who would have guessed that two days later Phil would be gone. Just like that.”

Alicia rubbed the side of her mother-in-law’s arm.

“I’m okay. Just having one of my moments is all.”

“And there’s not a thing wrong with it,” Miss Thelma added. “I’ve been in your shoes and know just how you feel, but time really does heal all wounds. Most people think that’s just some saying, but I’m here to tell you, it’s really true.”

“Well, I sure hope so because what I’m feeling now is so painful. It’s the kind of pain that reaches deep down in your soul and feels like it will never get better. Not even twenty years from now.”

“But I promise you, Kat, it does. It took me a long time, and while I’m still not over it, even after a whole decade, I’ve learned to accept it and go on with my life.”

Alicia listened to them talking about the loss of their husbands and it made her want to go check on Phillip—beg him to forgive her—although, earlier, he’d sounded as though he was never going to do that. But maybe it was like his mother had said, he was only acting this way because he was having a hard time dealing with his father’s death.

When Mom Katherine finished giving Alicia all of the details, including the scripture she wanted typed on the back of the program, 2 Corinthians 5:6–8, Alicia went into the den and turned on the computer. She smiled when she saw her and Phillip’s wedding photo as the screensaver. Phillip’s parents really were proud of their only son, and they really were glad to have her as a daughter-in-law. She already knew this, but for some reason seeing their wedding photo seemed special.

Alicia looked in the bottom right-hand drawer and pulled out a couple of the sample funeral programs her mother-in-law had told her about and then opened Microsoft Word.

She set her font type and size to Times Roman 10 and began entering the information. She’d majored in English and minored
in public relations, but she was glad she’d taken typing classes her last couple of years in high school and also at the community college the summer before she’d left for the university. She was also glad she’d learned a few of the business software programs because it had made all the difference when she’d had to write papers and create presentation materials. It would also make all the difference when she finally buckled down and started writing her novel. She didn’t know why she kept putting it off, but once things settled down with Phillip and they made sure his mother was okay, she would finally go ahead and get started. She had a ton of ideas floating through her head, but it was time she picked one of those ideas and went with it. Especially since she was the one who’d chosen writing over going to law school, so now she needed to follow through on it.

When Alicia finished the program, she reread it a couple of times, did some editing here and there, and then printed it out so her mother-in-law could take a look at it. But before she took it to her, she went down the hall and walked into the bedroom where Phillip was.

He immediately said, “How could you be so selfish? How could you actually lie about what time you left home, lie about where you were when the car broke down, and worst of all, how could you go shopping, when you knew my father was in critical condition? You knew that, and you knew how upset I was.”

Alicia shut the door, hoping her mother-in-law and Miss Thelma hadn’t heard him, and then she let her tears fall. “Phillip…honey…I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I wish I could take back what I did, but I can’t.”

“You’re right. You are sorry. You’re sorry and you’re pathetic, and I hate the day I ever laid eyes on you.”

His words sent scores of chills through her body. “How can you say that? And all because I made one mistake?”

“One mistake? Alicia, my father is dead! Gone! And you didn’t even bother to be there for me. You weren’t there for your own husband.”

Alicia sniffled and took a step toward him but he stopped her.

“Don’t even think about it. And as a matter of fact, I think it would be best if you just left here.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“You think I don’t? Get out. Get out and stay out.”

“Honey, please. Please don’t do this, because I really want to be here for you. I want to be here for your mom. You know how much I loved your dad. I loved him a lot.”

Phillip laughed out loud. “You loved him, huh?”

“I did. You know I did.”

“Yeah, you loved him all right. You loved him enough not to come see him before he died. You loved him so much that you stopped at some stupid mall to buy a sweat suit and some gym shoes.”

“I know I was wrong for doing that, but I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking, and I thought he was going to be fine.”

“Well, he’s not fine, Alicia. He’s dead. Now, for the last time…get out.”

“Phillip, please. I’m begging you not to do this.”

Phillip stood up. “I want you out of here! Not later, not tomorrow, not even the day after! I want you out now!”

He was now yelling like a crazy man, so Alicia opened the door and walked out of the room. Her mother-in-law met her in the hallway.

“Alicia, sweetheart, what’s going on?”

“Phillip wants me to leave.”

She walked to the front of the room and Alicia stood behind her. “Phillip, baby, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want her here.”

“Why?”

Phillip looked at Alicia. “Tell her. Tell her what you did.”

“I’m sorry, Mom Katherine, but I’m leaving.”

“No, tell her how you lied all day yesterday and that while we were sitting at the hospital, praying that Dad would be okay, you were out shopping at the mall like it was nothing. Tell her how you made up that story about the car being stopped in traffic when you were actually sitting in the mall parking lot. And then you had the audacity to dream up two men who supposedly stopped and helped you push the car to the side of the expressway. It’s bad enough that you lied about where the car broke down but to turn the lie into this whole detailed story, well, that’s just being deceitful. It’s just plain dishonest.”

“Phillip, I know you’re hurting but you really need your wife right now and she needs you,” Mom Katherine said.

“No, I needed her yesterday.”

“I realize that, but whether you want to realize it or not, there’s nothing Alicia could have done to save your father. There’s nothing any of us could have done.”

Phillip walked away from his mother and over toward the window. “Mom, I definitely don’t mean any disrespect to you, but I’m done talking about this.”

Mom Katherine shut the bedroom door. “Honey, he just needs to cool down. And when he does, he’ll see that the only reason he’s lashing out at you is because of all the pain he’s feeling. This is the first time Phillip has ever lost anyone this close to him, and I just don’t think he knows how to deal with it. Just give him a little time.”

“I want to be here for him, but maybe it really is best for me to drive home and then just come back tomorrow.”

“I truly hate to see you go but if you think that’s best.”

“I do because I’ve never seen him this angry before. It’s almost like I don’t even know him.”

“Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

Alicia hugged her mother-in-law and hoped she was right. Because if she wasn’t, she wasn’t sure what she could possibly do to fix this.