The Best of Everything (11 page)

P
hillip slowly opened his eyes, glanced over at the clock sitting on the nightstand, and saw that it was seven in the evening. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep and had never been a nap taker, but after arguing with Alicia and thinking about his dad, he guessed the emotional strain had taken its toll. Not to mention, he hadn’t slept much at all the night before and when he had dropped off for a few minutes here and there, he’d had vivid dreams about his father. He would dream something happy about him, but then he’d wake up and realize his father was gone, and the continuous cycle of dreams only depressed him even more.

Then, there was this thing with his wife. The woman he loved and would do anything for—yet here she’d acted as though his father’s illness hadn’t even mattered to her. She’d acted as though she had no obligation to stand by her husband, and Phillip now saw her in a totally different light. Her obsession and addiction to shopping had been one thing, but this was something much worse, and he didn’t know how they’d ever get past it. He didn’t know how he’d ever be able to look her in her face, without immediately thinking about the low-down way she’d treated him. She’d actually wasted precious time at some mall,
looking for athletic gear, for God’s sake, and he couldn’t see where any decent person would do something like that.

Phillip sighed and then sat up on the side of the bed. He sat there for a few seconds with his hands covering his face and then reached over and picked up his cell phone. He saw that he had three voice-mail messages and wondered how many of them were from Alicia.

But when he went through his call log, he didn’t see her number. Instead there were numbers for Curtis and his best friend Brad, and a number he didn’t recognize.

He dialed into the system and listened to them.

“Phillip, this is Curtis, and I just wanted to check in to see how things are going and to let you know that our prayers are still with you. I tried calling Alicia’s phone, too, but I guess you guys are busy right now. I also wanted to know if you’d decided on Saturday as the day for the funeral, so give me a call when you get this message. Take care.”

Phillip deleted the message and played the next one.

“Hey, Phil, man, this is Brad. I was in court all day today and I have to prepare for tomorrow, but then I’ll get over to see you and your mom sometime tomorrow night. Also, I know when we talked early this morning, you’d said you were probably going to shoot for Saturday as the day to have the funeral, so let me know. I’m there regardless of what day it is, but I just wanted to confirm. Also, I just want to say that I can do whatever you need me to do, and all you have to do is say the word.”

Phillip deleted Brad’s message and then played the last one.

“Hi, Pastor Phillip, this is Linda. Pastor Black told all of us here at the church about your father, and we’re just sick over the news. But please know that we’re all thinking about you and praying for you and your family. You don’t have to call me back unless you need something, anything at all, but if not we’ll see
you at the funeral. I haven’t heard when that is yet, but I’m sure Pastor Black will let the entire administrative team know, and of course you’ll be hearing from the bereavement ministry by no later than tomorrow, and we’ll be announcing the news about your father at Bible study tonight. Now, you take care of yourself and also your mom and we’ll see you soon, okay? We love you.”

He deleted his assistant’s message and smiled at how kind Linda always was to everyone. She went out of her way to do the best work she could for him and he was glad he’d hired her.

Next, he called Curtis.

“Hello?”

“Curtis, hey, how are you?”

“I’m good. And you?”

“Hanging in there.”

“And your mom?”

“She’s doing pretty well. She’s handling this a lot better than I expected her to and a lot better than I am.”

“She’s a strong woman. There’s no doubt that she’s hurt, but she seems like the type that will do whatever she has to do, no matter how bad things are.”

“She is. But she was so sad and afraid while Dad was undergoing surgery that I just assumed she would fall to pieces if we lost him.”

“I’m sure she’s still afraid. Anybody would be if they’d been with someone for most of their life and then now find themselves alone.”

“That’s true.”

“Hey, before I forget, is the funeral on Saturday?”

“It is. We made the final arrangements today, and everything is all set.”

“Good. And why isn’t Alicia answering her phone?

Phillip hesitated answering. He wasn’t sure if he should just say she wasn’t there or go ahead and tell Curtis the truth.

“She’s not here, so I’m not sure.”

“Did she say where she was going?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“How long has she been gone?”

“Maybe three or four hours. Okay, look Curtis, I might as well just tell you what happened. We had a really bad argument, and I asked her to leave.”

“Did she do something?”

“She did, and while I love Alicia, I’m really upset with her right now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Phillip. Is there something I can do?”

“No. This is just something Alicia and I need to work out with each other, so I hope you understand that.”

“I do. I’m Alicia’s father, but I would never get involved unless you asked me to. I just hate to see this happening while you’re mourning the loss of your father. It’s not good, Phillip, because if this was ever a time for the two of you to come together, this is certainly it.”

“I know, and all I’ll say is that Alicia tends to care about Alicia, and she doesn’t always consider how her actions are going to affect other people. Specifically, how they’re going to affect me.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to talk to her?”

“No. I mean, you can talk to her if you want but I really doubt she’s going to give you any details. If for some reason she does want to tell you, then that’s fine but if not…”

“I’ll respect your wishes, but I still hate this is going on right now.”

“All I want to do is get through the next few days, make sure my mom is okay, and then try to get back to normal. Get back to whatever normal is now going to be for me.”

“Well, I hope you’ll call me if you want to talk or need me to do anything before the funeral.”

“Well, I was hoping you’d say a few words at the service if you don’t mind.”

“I would be glad to, and it would be an honor.”

“I think my mom and Alicia were working on the program earlier but we’d talked about it already, so I’m sure they have you listed.”

“I look forward to it. And Phillip, I know this is probably the most difficult time in your life, but don’t forget to keep your faith in God. Keep it strong and don’t stop believing what He can do for you. Don’t stop asking Him to give you the kind of strength and understanding you’re going to need in the coming weeks.”

“I won’t.”

“Well, I won’t keep you, but tell your mom we’re thinking about her.”

“I will. And thanks, Curtis, for everything.”

“Anytime.”

Phillip hung up the phone and set it back down on the nightstand. Then he got up and went into the living room. His mom, Miss Thelma, and a few other men and women who were probably some of his parents’ friends and church members were all sitting and standing around, laughing and talking.

“So you finally woke up,” his mom said, walking over to him.

Phillip spoke to everyone, and then he and his mom went into the kitchen.

“Are you feeling better, son?”

“Not really.”

“Well, you know I’m not one to pry in your business, but son, I just wish you’d try to get over this thing with Alicia. She made a mistake, but the two of you need to be together at a time like this.”

“It’s not that easy, Mom. Alicia has really crossed the line this time, and if I see her, it’s only going to make me more upset than I already am.”

“You’re being stubborn.”

“No. I just don’t appreciate what she did.”

“Nobody’s perfect. And there’s no such thing as a marriage without problems.”

“I know that, but it wasn’t even just the fact that she stopped at the mall when she knew how sick Dad was, it’s more about the fact that she lied. She lied to me more than once and when people lie, they’re letting you know right then and there that they can’t be trusted.”

“I hear what you’re saying, and I’m not making any excuses for her, but the reason she probably lied is because she really does have a serious shopping problem. You and I just talked about that two days ago, remember?”

“Still. Problem or not, I should have been her priority. She should have been at that hospital, and she never should have lied to me. Because after this, how am I ever going to know when she’s lying or when she’s telling the truth? And now that I think about it, how do I know she hasn’t been lying to me about one thing or another since the very beginning?”

His mother sighed and moved a couple of dirty glasses into the sink. “I hate this.”

“I hate it, too, but it is what it is. I married a woman I really didn’t know, and now I’m dealing with the consequences.”

“That’s not true. Because I can tell that Alicia really does love you, and I know you love her.”

“Mom, that may be true, but that still doesn’t dismiss her lying to me. And she did it on the day I lost my father. Of all the days for her to concoct some ridiculous story, she had to choose yesterday, and I’m just not happy about it.”

“Are you hungry? Why don’t you get something to eat and go sit down at the table for a while.”

“Maybe later.”

“You really need to eat at least something.”

“I just don’t want anything right now. But hey,” he said, taking both his mother’s hands. “I really want to apologize for bringing all this drama into your house, because you’ve got more than enough to worry about.”

“It’s hard, and I do miss your father so much. But we have to keep pressing on until we lay him to rest. And then, we’ll have to keep pressing on even after that. I don’t know what I’ll do without him, but I’m just going to believe that I’ll be fine. I just choose to believe that God is going to be there for me the same as always.”

Phillip hugged his mother, and then she went back out to visit with her company.

He knew it was rude of him not to join them, too, but he wasn’t feeling very social. He knew people meant well when they came by to see how you were doing or when they dropped by to bring over food, but all he really wanted was to be left alone. He wanted to spend time with himself so he could reminisce about his dad. He wanted to think about all the good times they’d shared with each other and try to remember as much about their relationship as possible. He needed to do this now because he was afraid he might forget something important.

The other thing he was wrestling with was the fact that for the first time in years, he was starting to question God and why He did the things He did. He believed in Him and trusted in Him the same way his mother was just saying she did, but he was having a hard time figuring out why God had taken his father from him. Phillip didn’t understand because he had always tried to be a good person. He’d always been a good child,
the kind that did exactly what the Bible said—honor thy father and mother—and he’d always tried to do the right thing as an adult. He also didn’t understand because his dad had always been a good father and husband, and even better, he’d been a God-fearing man his entire life—so none of this made sense. Phillip knew death was something every living human being would someday have to experience, but he couldn’t understand why his father’s time to go had come so quickly. He’d only been fifty-five years old and ready to live the last half of his life or, at the least, live the next thirty years or so.

Phillip shook his head in distress and went back into the bedroom and closed the door. He turned on the television and then looked over at his phone and saw that he had another message. This time it was from Alicia.

He couldn’t imagine that she had anything important to say, other than the same old tired “sorrys” that she’d already inundated him with before leaving, so he dialed into his message system and pressed Delete before she spoke the first word.

He did this and then wondered something else about God and the things He allowed to happen. He wondered why God had allowed him to meet, fall in love with, and then marry a woman like Alicia.

He wondered why in all his life, he’d never felt worse.

A
licia sighed exhaustedly and drove onto the street she and Phillip lived on. It had been a long, stressful, and very tiring day, and she was glad it was almost over. She still wasn’t happy about Phillip and his insisting that she leave his mother’s house, though, because whether he’d realized it or not, he’d really hurt her feelings. She’d apologized and then apologized again, but he hadn’t wanted to hear any of what she was saying. He’d acted as if he hated her and like he never wanted to see her again, and there was a part of her that was worried that he might never get over what she’d done. But what else could she do except beg his pardon and try to make things up to him? She’d even called his cell phone not more than two hours after she’d left him, but he hadn’t answered or even bothered calling her back, and it was that very thing that had forced her to stop at Woodfield Mall.

She’d been on her way home, but as she drove, the more depressed she’d become about Phillip and the way he was ignoring her, and she’d needed to do something fun. She’d needed to do something nice for herself, so she’d gone into one of her favorite specialty stores and purchased a cute pair of Lucky jeans. Then, she’d gone into Victoria’s Secret and found two pretty
push-up bras, one in hot pink and the other in periwinkle, and she’d purchased the panties to go with them. After that, she’d gone down to Nordstrom and found the most professional-looking business suit she’d seen in weeks and couldn’t wait to wear it on her first day of work, whenever that was going to be.

Alicia stopped at the mailbox and removed today’s mail, and then saw four packages lying near the front door. At first, she wondered where they might have come from and what was inside them but then she remembered that she’d selected two-day delivery for the online purchases she’d made on Sunday night from Neiman’s and Saks, and QVC had probably shipped her a few items as well. But regardless of what had arrived, she was excited to see all of it and couldn’t wait to get inside the house.

As soon as she went in and turned off the alarm system, she walked around to the front door, opened it, and brought in everything that had been delivered. She was glad she’d selected two-day delivery on the Saks and Neiman items because with her ordering them on a Sunday night, she’d known the order wouldn’t be confirmed and shipped until Monday. That way she could be sure they arrived on Wednesday like clockwork, which was normally the day Philip stayed at the church later because of Bible study, and this gave her a lot of leeway and time enough to receive the packages and bring them in before he got home.

Alicia took everything upstairs and then opened each package one by one. The Manolo Blahnik shoes were just as beautiful as they’d been online, and so was the Cole Haan purse. The suit she’d ordered from Saks wasn’t as breathtaking as the one she’d bought tonight, but it was definitely a keeper.

She laid everything across the bed, because for once, she didn’t have to hide her purchases or rush to get them into her closet. Phillip wasn’t home and he wouldn’t be home anytime tonight. She did miss him and was sorry for the way things were
between them, but she liked this newfound sense of freedom. It was nice feeling free to do whatever she wanted in her own household and not having to feel as though someone was guarding her every move.

Alicia spent the next few minutes admiring her new possessions and then browsed through the stack of mail she’d also brought upstairs with her. She flipped through all of the bills and junk mail but then tossed them to the side when she saw an envelope addressed to Phillip—one that had the word “preapproved” printed just above his name—and she opened it. After doing so, she skimmed through the Platinum Visa offer letter and saw a statement at the bottom, which said the company had a website that customers could go to if they preferred doing their application online. Alicia went into her office and wasted no time typing in their Internet address.

Once there, she entered the code they’d given her for access and then entered Phillip’s personal information, such as his Social Security number,
her
cell number, and the P.O. box address she’d finally gotten the day before Phillip’s parents had come to town, and then she entered his income amount. Next, she entered her own information as a co-applicant and since she’d be starting her job at the church shortly, she entered what her salary was going to be. She decided it was okay to do this because the other letter had also stated that if you applied online, you’d receive an answer in minutes. So, she doubted very seriously that they’d be checking any of the information she was submitting, at least not tonight, anyway.

When she finished, she pressed Enter and it took less than sixty seconds for the screen to show that they’d been approved for a credit line of ten thousand dollars. Alicia was so excited but reread the message on the screen to make sure she hadn’t made a mistake. However, it really did say ten G’s. She was
excited because this was double the amount that the MasterCard company had approved them for. She’d already started using that one, so now when this one arrived, it would serve as a safety net and she would only use it in emergency situations.

As Alicia sat finalizing the application process, the phone rang. When she looked and saw that it was her father, she debated whether she should pick it up. She’d been avoiding his calls because she hadn’t wanted to tell him what was going on, but now that he was calling their home number, she wondered if Phillip had told him everything.

“Hello?”

“Alicia, where have you been?”

It was never a good sign when he called her Alicia versus his normal “baby girl,” and she knew he was upset.

“When I left Mom Katherine’s house, I stopped at the mall and then got something to eat.”

“You know you had me worried, though, right?”

“I’m sorry, Daddy, but I’ve had a lot on my mind today.”

“Well, I talked to Phillip earlier and he told me that he asked you to leave his mother’s house and that you and he are having some problems. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. I’d really rather not.”

“You do know this isn’t a good time for you and Phillip to be having petty differences, not with his father dying?”

“Yes. I do know.”

“You should call him.”

“I did call him, but he didn’t answer and he still hasn’t called me back.”

“You should call him again.”

Sometimes Alicia wondered if it would have been better if she’d married someone her father didn’t like because he was so pro-Phillip all the time. “I will. I’ll call him before I go to bed.”

“Good. Phillip also told me that the funeral has been confirmed for Saturday.”

“It has been. We took care of everything today but, Daddy, I’m really not looking forward to seeing Dad Phil lying in some casket. The whole thing is so disheartening and so morbid. Even the funeral home itself was morbid. I hate those places, and I didn’t like having to see your mom lying in a casket, either. I was a lot younger then but for a long time, I remember thinking how cold Granny Pauline must have been with her having to be buried in the ground the way she was. And even after I got older and knew she couldn’t feel a thing, I still hated thinking about her being six feet under.”

“Death is never easy for any of us, and most of us go our entire lives not really understanding what death really means or how it will feel because there’s just no way to know until you actually die. But the one thing you can be sure of is that if you live your life right and live it according to God’s Word, your soul will be saved and that’s what really counts. Right?”

“Yep. I remember the first time you told me that. I must have been maybe five years old, and I laughed at you for saying it because even though you told me everybody’s soul could be saved if they wanted it to be, I still thought that the only people who had a chance at going to heaven were the Soul Train dancers and Don Cornelius. Because that’s the only ‘soul’ I understood.”

Curtis laughed. “Yeah, I remember that, and your mom and I used to laugh about that even years later.”

“Daddy, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“You promise you won’t get mad at me?”

“About you asking me a question? No.”

“Is Charlotte near you?”

“No. Why?”

“Because I love Charlotte, and I would never want to hurt her feelings.”

“What is it?”

“I just wondered if you ever regret what happened between you and Mom and if you wish that you and she were still together.”

“Wow, that’s definitely a question.”

“You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”

“Well, let me just say this. The only reason your mom and I are divorced is that she wanted it. But don’t get me wrong. I understand why she wanted it, because you know I had a lot of issues back then. I did some horrible things. But if she’d been able to put up with me, I’d still be with her.”

“Oh.”

“Does that still bother you?”

“Sometimes.”

“I didn’t realize that, and I hate that I put you through so many changes. I’ll always be sorry for that.”

“It was the past, though, Daddy, and I forgave you a long time ago. You know that.”

“I do but that doesn’t dismiss everything that happened.”

“You’re still my heart, though, no matter what.”

“And of course, you’re mine.”

Alicia heard her cell ringing and saw that it was Melanie.

“Daddy, this is Mel, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Have a good night, and I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Hey, Mel.”

“Hey, girl, where are you?”

“Home.”

“Oh, I was thinking you were staying in Chicago. Is Phillip there with you?”

“No.”

“Did you drive over just to get some extra clothes or something?”

“No, Phillip and I had an argument, and he wanted me to leave.”

“Come on. Really?”

“Yes.”

“Well, what was the argument about?”

“Nothing major, but it’s a long story.”

Alicia wanted to tell Melanie but she knew Melanie would never understand, not with the way she already viewed Alicia’s spending habits. She also didn’t want Melanie finding out that when she’d talked to her while sitting in the car waiting for the tow truck she hadn’t been completely honest with her, either, as far as where her car had broken down. She’d hadn’t lied to her, but she hadn’t told her that she was stranded in a mall parking lot.

“Well, I hope you guys work things out.”

“We will.”

“Oh, and I wanted to let you know that I switched my work schedule around so that I’ll be off Friday and Saturday. That way Brad and I can come spend Friday evening with you and Phillip at his mother’s house, and then just come back again on Saturday morning for the funeral.”

“I really appreciate that, Mel, and it will be good having you there.”

“No problem, and if you need anything before that, just let me know.”

“I will.”

“Well, I guess I should get going so I can get to bed. I have to be at work at six o’clock.”

“My goodness, that’s early. Too early for me.”

“Yeah, sometimes it’s hard, but a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do.”

“I guess.”

“But the good thing about it is that I have my evenings off, and once I work my four twelves, I’m off for three days.”

“Yeah, when you don’t pick up extra hours, which you know you always do.”

“You’re right. More hours mean more money.”

“Let’s not get started, because you know we could debate that subject for hours.”

“That’s for sure. But, hey girl, I love you, and I’ll chat with you tomorrow.”

“I love you, too. Bye.”

Alicia pressed the End button and thought about how pleasant and down to earth Melanie always was, and Alicia was glad she was her best friend. Melanie was one of the few people Alicia would do anything for, anything at all, and she knew Melanie felt the same way about her. They had each other’s backs in good times as well as when times weren’t so happy.

Alicia decided she would go ahead and try Phillip’s cell number again, but this time it went straight to voice mail, which meant he’d turned his phone off completely. So she tried his mother’s number instead.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mom Katherine. How are you?”

“I’m fine. What about you, sweetheart?”

“I’m okay.”

“You make it home safely?”

“Yes, I got here a little while ago.”

“I’ve been thinking about you and Phillip all evening, and I just wish I could talk some sense into him.”

“Did he ever come out of the bedroom?”

“He did. But just for a short while. And mostly he stayed to himself.”

“I really am sorry, Mom Katherine. I really, really am, but I can’t change what I did.”

“I know you can’t and eventually Phillip will realize that. I know he will.”

“I’m not so sure, because he was really upset today.”

“Do you want to try to talk to him now?”

“That’s fine.”

“Phillip? Honey, pick up the phone. It’s your wife calling.”

Alicia thought she heard him say he didn’t want to talk to her, but she wasn’t sure.

“Did he say he didn’t want to talk to me?”

“I’m truly sorry about this, Alicia.”

“Please don’t apologize, because this isn’t your fault.”

“I know, but I don’t like seeing you kids like this. You’re normally so happy with each other.”

“I know, but I’ll just try to call again tomorrow.”

“You do that, okay?”

“I will. Sleep well.”

“You, too.”

Phillip’s adamant refusal to speak to her was definitely painful, but at the same time, Alicia didn’t see why she should have to keep begging her own husband. Whatever happened to all that forgiveness he’d talked about in his sermon just a few days ago? So, to her, if he wasn’t planning to ever forgive her for what she’d done, he was nothing more than a hypocrite. He was nothing more than a man who gave great advice but didn’t have the sense to take it. Who was he to criticize her about anything?