The Birth (The Black Wing Book 1) (26 page)

“I won’t lie to you.”
sighed Ebon.
“You have no strength to defend your child, and they will likely consume the flesh. If your child reaches the end, I will be forced to recreate everything. Are you listening Lola? I’m going to use these crows, and muster every grain of energy in me to save your child. There will be a heavy sacrifice. Serenata will never have a body of her own, but if I can save them both, then I favor that chance over their deaths.”

Ebon went on and on, his words are ringing in my ears, but I don’t want to listen. Instead, my memories returned to Kinoki, the last time saw her, she jumped off the porch rail. I’m leaving my most cherished companion, at least she’s safe inside that cabin. When Jeremy arrives, he will likely adopt her. I will never forget that little fluffy hair ball, with curious yellow eyes. I wonder if parents do the same thing with their own children. When they see them, do they see their infant stage, rather than their real age? I guess, I will never know.

“Listen to me." I said to the crows. “You can do whatever you want with me, but I’m not giving them up to you.”

Upon hearing this, crows came down violently. They pierced my skin, blood oozed down my arms and legs. Fighting back is futile, I can’t protect anyone, much less myself. There’s no need to wait for Jeremy any more. My time is about to end. I want to cry out, but crying has also become impractical, there’s no energy to even do that. All I can do is accept it, and let what will be, be what it wants to be.

“Lola!”
railed Ebon.
“You mustn’t give in!”

A piece of flesh tore one of my calves. I looked at the red color, and the way the liquid trailed down. Another went for my face, I touched it to see how deep the red blood stamped the tip of my finger. The color resembles roses.

People say red roses are a symbol of love, but that’s false. It’s not the rose that represents love, but rather the color of blood. It’s a sign that love is a selfless sacrifice. Yes, that’s right. Right now the blood I’m shedding is love. I’m sacrificing myself so that my baby doesn’t have to suffer this carnal pain. It’s the least I can, these past 8 months have been the moments I felt most alive, most genuinely happy. This little life transformed me into a woman I never thought I can become. With my abusive past, and messed up life, I learned to accept myself. I became me.

I wanted to thank Dr. Graham for everything he did for me. I reserved my comments of appreciation for after my delivery, but now that’s not going to happen. Then there’s his son, Jeremy. Whenever our eyes met, his cheeks grew red, did they glow because he perhaps—likes me?

I closed my eyes, and let them stay shut. Ebon did his best to convince me to try, but I much rather ignore his concerns and risky promises. It’s just like he said, even if my baby is out, I won’t have the energy to remain conscious. I probably won’t be here anymore. Even if my baby lives through this, what lies ahead, is a lonely life, alone—just like I was. My baby’s life will be no different than mine, not once knowing the true love of a mother.

My eyes shot open.

My body boiled at that realization. When a new crow came down at me, I slapped it off. I grabbed another, and slammed it on the ground. The rest pulled back—surprised by my strength. This labor is unavoidable, the only thing preventing me from succeeding is my fear, and ignorance. I won’t let the mentality that I’m paralyzed by death overcome me!

Avalon couldn’t move because she’s an alien—but this is my planet, I know how to get on my own two feet! I hugged the rough trunk with shaking arms. After my third try, I lifted from the ground. My legs locked when I stood up. The crows around me, reformed and flew into the air thinking I’m about to run again, but I’m not. I can’t. They’re keeping a safe distance, resting on the branches above me. It’s like they know that the next crow that comes my way, will have its head snapped off.

After I regulated my breathing, I squatted, still gripping the trunk of a pine tree. My eyes shut, focusing on my contractions. The irritating pain is pulsing in waves, sharp needles are stabbing my back, and abdomen. I’m breathing in rhythm, each breath I take, is supplying oxygen to my baby. The sun lifting over the horizon, barely touching the tips of the Cascade Mountains. The orange rays of light is slowly, but surely evaporating this tiresome fog. The warm rays on my body energize me with a pleasing heat. The cool, fresh air is stabilizing my feverish body.

My one distraction from this painful labor, comes from the beauty and glorious colors of Fall.

With a steady pace, I pushed, relaxed, and pushed a little more. The pine tree are keeping me in balance, offering the comfort most women will get from the father. I can feel my skin rip beneath me and expand like the burning fires of hell. It’s coming! I screamed to ventilate my pain. My timid personality told me I shouldn't be doing this, but I ignored my nature to remain silent. I screamed and howled.

“You’re doing great.”
said Ebon.
“Any human child wouldn’t handle this stress, neither would any woman. You’re a remarkable woman, and your child even greater—you’re both so persistent to stay alive.”

If only Ebon knew I’m a woman full of failures. But this will be it—this is where I will redeem myself. I will change my ways form here on, and bring my child into this world! I roared in the Okanogan Forest, obeying the forces of nature. This agony is necessary, it holds promise that bringing my child into this world that will subdue the pain. My violent cries kept the crows at bay, my nails dug into the bark of the pine tree.  I can feel it—it’s about to happen!

I lift up my night gown, reach in between my legs, and grabbed a shaky, slippery, small body. As soon as I pressed my slimy baby over my chest, my knees betrayed me. My back scraped as I dragged myself down to the ground. My baby, wiggled on impact. Steam is evaporating from our bodies, the warmth we shared is no longer there. My baby starts gurgling, their face has turned completely purple. Mucus is blocking the airways. Using my own mouth, I drew out the excess liquid stuffed in my baby’s nose, and spit it out.

“Breathe.” I whimpered. “Breathe!”

A thunderous cry echoed into the woods. The crows almost jumped into the sky, surprised by the powerful new vocals. One after another, strong waves of emotions filled my body with powerful oxytocin. I felt the utter joy, the increasing wonder, and the absolute bliss. It has been done, I have given birth, and I finally understand my role in this world—it’s this beautiful baby girl! Frantically, I analyzed every inch of this miracle. Tanned skin, a full set of jet-black hair. Her eyes are wrinkled shut, pushing out more cries. I called for Ebon and Serenata, but no one answered. That’s right, they can’t answer me anymore. They’re inside my newborn daughter.

The crows concurrently drifted near me. Their previous peaceful control startled me as they became active. It’s as Ebon said, they want Serenata. This was their plan from the very beginning! They’ve been waiting for me to give birth. It’s no doubt, a powerful race is hidden inside my daughter, whom has become the gatekeeper. A gate these crows want to pry open. They crave the taste of another Lenur, but this time, it’s Avalon’s daughter.

In that instant, my fatigue got a hold of me. My eyes want to slam shut, I resist the urge to sleep. I quickly covered my baby in my arms, my small touches of heat comfort her. When I moved my legs, my feet trembled. There is no strength in me anymore, I have spent it all pushing my baby out.

Is this a sign that my time has come? I held on to my daughter tighter. As I keep battling sleep, my eyelids grow wearier. This labor has depleted everything. While stepping over me, the crows yanked my hair. I held my daughter with one arm and crawled on my side, reaching for my coat that I foolishly took off. When my fingers managed to touch the torn fabric, I pulled it close and wrapped her shivering body in a fluid motion. I kissed her forehead and pressed her against my chest.

“I’m sorry.” I trembled. “I’m sorry, but you’ll be safe in there.”

Exhausted, I rolled on my side, and wheezed for air. Wrapped in my coat, my daughter wailed. A heavy ray of light shot through the thick forest, illuminating my shuffling coat. I watched her movements, her voice muffled under the heavy fabric. This is the best I can do, and it isn’t good enough, she lies defenseless.

The crows flocked pass me, aware of my weakened state and stepped over me. They stopped pecking at me, their focus is elsewhere. Ebon is right, they had their eyes on my baby this entire time. Now that she’s no longer inside me, they’re greatly interested in her. With shaking arms, I try covering her as best as my condition allowed. I’m drained of all strength, I can barely keep my eyes open.

The vicious crows are surrounding my winter coat. Their talons are pressing against the coat, their intelligent minds are using their beak to hold the thick fabric. Other crows join in dragging the coat away from me. I tried to hold on to the coat, but my cold, numb fingers are useless. After succeeding, they drag her from my reach, but the umbilical cord keeping them from pulling any further. The crows realized this and started working together to cut the only connection between us. The task proved to be too easy, they separated us, dragging my daughter even further away. I shivered and whimpered, the distance between us started eating away my spirit.

One by one the crows grouped and unwrapped my coat like a gift, exposing my unclothed baby. The cold air shocked her, and she starts crying for her mother’s warmth. Her loud cries doesn’t bother them, they’re only preying closer and closer.

My heart aches to keep her warm, to protect her, and throw my life for her. I was supposed to watch her walk for the first time. To see her run as toddler, in a beautiful white dress. She needs to know that she can do anything, she can stand on her own, and be as strong as she ever needs herself to be. She needs to know she’s wanted, cherished, and necessary in this world!

“Ebon.” I sniveled. “If you can hear me, don’t let these crows take her away! You said you’ll do whatever you can to protect them.”

Ebon can’t answer me anymore, there’s probably nothing he can do to help anyways. What he said are nothing but false promises. How I want to close my eyes, and look away from this sight! How I want to pass out this very instant! But watching the crows feed off my newborn daughter detains me.

My daughter’s shrieks hurt me, her small hands moved furiously—searching for a mother to protect her. Each time they tore a piece of her skin, I gasped. When they swallowed her flesh it punctured my spirit. While my coat absorbed her red blood, more crows joined in on the banquet. Even the umbilical cord did not go to waste. Everyone is engorging themselves to their hearts content and I watched—oh how I watched.

Among them, stepped forward the old crow with ruffled feathers, the largest of them all. His approaching presence pushed the others off to the side of my daughter’s shaking body. His large open talons stepped on her belly, and his beak looked down at her. This black bird is analyzing the details of her torn body. It’s almost like he’s looking for something. Like a hammer, the crow pierced his beak into my daughter’s chest. I muttered a faint stop, but he dismisses my plea.

When her last cry faded in the forest, a chilling thought overwhelmed me. The large crow now dug a hole in her chest and tore out her tiny heart. My tears soiled the ground. That night in my bed, it wasn’t just a dream then, but a window to the future.

It’s just like that dream, I was in a fog just like this—just like this! There I met a little girl, searching for something she couldn’t identify with. I remember the hole in her chest, and her desperation to look for her heart. The girl with no heart turned out to be my daughter. My daughter’s movement froze, and the rest of the crows joined in. My tears stung like acid, but I kept my eyes open.

Something presented itself among the crows. A ghostly figure leaned over to me, then it moved towards the hungry crows. I must be dead, this apparition resembles Ms. Clarisse! She’s standing on her own two feet, no longer bounded by her wheel chair. She leaned forward to look at my baby and shook her head.

“Poor little one.” she whispered.

Her old blue eyes flickered straight at me, and her lips smiled. I tried to call out her name, but only air came out. My fingers shook at my attempt to reach out to her.

“I don’t know if you will see her again.” she said. “But I will stay here, and keep her company.”

My lips cracked as I tried to call out her name, but Ms. Clarisse placed her finger between her lips.

“
Shhhh
…go to sleep child.”

With all my strength gone, I listened and let my eyes close.