The Bonded: The Allseer Trilogy Book I (4 page)

“Unfortunately, yes.” Tomias scowled, his lips pulling down so far it was almost comical. “She’ll be down for a few days, same as your bond mate. Let us all hope it is a longer recovery. I’m sure once she awakens, the whole of Sanctuary will feel her wrath. Come, we need to report to the Union Master. I don’t imagine he’ll be too happy about all this.” Slipping his arms under Kirheen, he gently lifted her up, cradling her against his chest. Garild followed him out of the room and into their bedroom. “Pull back the covers.”

He did as he was told, waiting until Kirheen was snuggled among the pillows before he tucked the blankets around her shoulders. She breathed softly, her face a mask of tranquility.

“Should I stay here?”

“I’d say so. If Nyson wishes to speak with you about this matter, I’m sure he’ll come calling. Just stay here with Kirheen.” He squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before trudging from the room. Garild doubted he was looking forward to reporting to the Union Master. It made him scared to think what would happen to them once he found out.

He sat on the edge of his bed, exhaustion sweeping over him. The pounding in his skull had subsided but he felt heavy, as if some great weight were pushing down on him. Perhaps it was how Tomias had felt. Lying back on the bed, he breathed deep, nestling his head against the pillows. It wasn’t long before he too was resting peacefully, the events of the morning momentarily forgotten.

The Union Master sat silent, his face a stone mask that shifted and changed with the fluttering of the candlelight. The sweet smell of cinnamon filled the air, giving warmth to the otherwise cold room. It did nothing, however, to warm his mood which cracked and splintered like ice shattering under ones foot. One wrong step was all it would take; a slight shift and some unlucky soul would fall into the frigid depths of his anger.

Today had not been the day for a situation like this. He already felt stretched, his mind so thin that it felt like it would snap at any moment. Before him, Herzin rested peacefully. She looked younger in such dim light, her long gray hair tumbling about her shoulders. It gave a hint of the woman she once was, before anger and pride had turned her into a weathered old crone. Nyson wondered if she knew, if she realized what the great green monster had done to her beauty. He doubted she cared. Beauty wasn’t something Herzin fussed over, just as she hadn't thought to fuss over causing a near disaster.

The thought made him seethe, and he clenched his teeth tightly together, grinding them back and forth as he sneered down at her over the pointed tip of his nose. She wasn’t entirely to blame. He should have known, perhaps
did
know, that giving her power over a girl apt at challenging authority was a bad idea. He expected them to clash, but he hadn’t expected them to try killing each other. He had hoped that Herzin would be able to rein her in, to fight fire with fire. Instead they’d both burned up, neither willing to back down. It had been foolish. Had he really expected anything less from the Judge of Trials?

She was a woman that spent her days deciding the fate of those who chose to break their bonds, those that chose selfishness over union. Whatever bit of sympathy she had, it had dried up long ago. He respected her for it. It was because of her that they could keep control. There were apt to be Bonded that slipped up and she was there to crack the whip. Her authority was absolute, the knife hidden behind his words.

She was known to be cruel, her punishments at times harsh, but without her he knew Sanctuary would be lost. She was the reason the youngest children told stories about being turned into emotionless husks, the very stories that kept many of the Bondless from doing anything stupid as they grew older, however exaggerated those stories were.

He respected her, but at the moment he also hated her.

She stirred, as if his thoughts had somehow roused her from her slumber. Her eyelids fluttered open, revealing emerald eyes dimmed by exhaustion. It took her a moment to gain her senses, and even longer before she met his piercing gaze. When she finally did, she said nothing, but her face was heavy with guilt. She took a deep breath before speaking, her words barely above a whisper, as if she feared awakening a sleeping beast.

“Nyson, I...”

“Silence,” he hissed, leaning forward until his elbows rested on the bed, his fingers laced to support his chin. “You’ve disappointed me, Herzin.”

“I'm sorry, Nyson. I can explain,” she urged, holding the blankets firmly against her chest as she raised herself into a sitting position.

Nyson scoffed, annoyance flashing across his face like lightning. “I don’t need you to explain anything. That job was already done for you. What I need you to do is make me understand. Make me understand how a woman far old enough to know better would try to break a child before she’d even shown her how to guard her own mind. Make me understand what would possess you to be so foolish that you’d damn near kill not just her, but yourself. Make me understand before I feel the need to finish the job and be done with you.”

Not even the warm light from the candle could keep her face from turning a deathly white. She clutched the blankets tight, frail fingers digging deeply into the folds. She chewed on her lower lip, thoughts dancing in her eyes as she tried to formulate her next words, words she no doubt would choose carefully.

“I was trying to teach her a lesson, to teach her respect and authority. I didn’t expect her to react so violently. I should have been more cautious and…more patient.”

“You expect me to believe that is all it was? That you were trying to teach her a lesson? You don’t set someone on fire and expect them to know how to put it out without teaching them first! Your haste and recklessness have shamed me, Herzin. You’ve made a mockery of me and it will not go unpunished.”

Her green eyes were suddenly ablaze. “I've shamed you? I, the woman who has kept you in power all of these years. I, the woman who has done everything for the sake of this place! I shamed you? It shames me that you fail to see the reason for all of this.”

Nyson bit back his anger. “You want to blame me for your brashness, now? That isn't wise.”

“The girl is trouble. She has had far too much freedom, far too much free reign to act out and question the world around her.”

“Oh, don’t tell me this is what this is about! It’s irrelevant.”

“I’d say not. The girl is a spark and one that needs to be controlled. She’s likely to burn the whole of Sanctuary down if we don’t put her in her place now! Or should we just let her grow more dangerous? I have to admit, that seems more your style considering you let it happen before.”

Nyson stood in a fury, his shadow looming ominously behind him like some dark force ready to consume the light. He couldn't believe she was so bold, to bring up the past in such a way. He only wished she'd realized those words were like throwing fire on an oil patch. “Watch your words, Herzin. I’m warning you.”

She didn't relent. “But you did let it happen, did you not? When that bastard brother of yours spoke out, you did nothing. You chose to back down while he tore apart the world your family so carefully built.
You
let him do it and we all paid the price!”

“You dare question my past decisions? We’re still alive because of me, alive because I chose to let them create their own life instead of bringing Sanctuary down around our heads!”

Flinging the blankets away from herself, Herzin stood, stepping forward until she was mere inches from Nyson. She raised her chin defiantly, staring up at him through thick lashes. “Don’t fool yourself. We’re not alive, we haven’t been for years. They took something from us and we’ll never get it back. I’m not going to let it happen again. I can stop this from happening to others, from having others feel the pain that we felt. Do you know why I did what I did to Kirheen? I did what I did because all I see when I look into her pretty little face is the very man that betrayed us all, the man that stepped on everything we ever stood for in order to fulfill his own selfish desires. That bastard took everything and I am not going to let it happen again. I am not going to let her break our pride the way he did when he walked away with that whore you called a wife!”

Nyson lashed out like a snake, his fist connecting with her face with all the solidity of a hurled brick. She tumbled back against the bed, hand held to her face. He could see the shock and anger the blow caused and as her eyes turned back to him, he could see the loathing burning in those emerald depths. He bent down ever so slowly until he was level with her. He pulled her hand away from her face, seeing the bruise already forming on her cheek. His hand slid along her face, cupping her chin. He could feel her jaw tense beneath his touch. There was a void he was slipping into, a dark place where he fell at times like these.

“Herzin, if you ever speak of them again, I swear to you, it will be the last words that ever leave your lips. Do you understand me?”

She ignored him, her eyes fluttering away to a far corner of the room. A surge of anger and his hand slipped into her hair, pulling it hard and forcing her to turn her eyes towards him. Their eyes locked and she nodded meekly.

“Say it.”

“I won't speak of them again,” she said, her eyes never leaving his.

The anger was dissipating, fleeing as quickly as it came. He unlatched his hand from her hair, wiping his hand on his robes as if he were wiping away dirt. They were shaking now, a damned thing that always happened after an episode like this. He clenched them tightly at his sides, not wanting to show such weakness in front of her. “Tomias and Fenir will be taking over the training of Kirheen and Garild. You are no longer needed, nor welcome, to perform that task.”

He turned away from her, catching a brief glance of her face flickering between hurt and anger, an endless struggle with no clear victor. He didn't like hurting her. Despite the actions caused by his anger, he did care for her. The Sanctuary that existed had spawned from both of their efforts. She was indispensable, he knew that, but she was also dangerous. He may have shared the responsibilities of leadership, and on occasion a bed, with the woman, but he didn't exactly trust her. If it came down to it, he was willing to break her, to control her mind as he'd done time and time again with others. She would learn to obey him... learn or be broken like the rest. 

For the first time, Kirheen had nothing to say. The people around her had faded into the background, becoming nothing but a ripple on the edge of her consciousness. She ran a small wooden spoon in lazy circles through oats that had long since gone cold and wondered how anyone found the stuff appealing. Many of the other Bonded had finished their meals and had set off to meet with their instructors. Only a few remained at the table, Garild among them.

It had been a week since her dreadful experience, and yet still she felt withdrawn and paranoid. She was acutely aware of her own personal space, of the walls in her mind. She checked them often, searching for cracks and holes that someone could squeeze through. Headaches were a frequent occurrence, painful and sudden, but Tomias assured her they’d go away with time.

Sleep was elusive. When she closed her eyes at night, she’d soon find herself slipping into terrible nightmares she found hard to wake from. She’d been given an assortment of foul tasting herbs to help but they’d been of little use. The dark circles under her eyes were evidence enough of that.

She had to admit, having new instructors was a welcome change. Tomias and Fenir were odd, to be sure, but it saved her from ever having to see Herzin again.  She still couldn’t believe what she’d done to her and she had no desire to have such a thing repeated. As far as she was concerned, nobody was getting in to her mind any time soon. They had their work cut out for them, that much was certain.

Fingers touched her hand and she jumped, causing far more of a ruckus then she’d intended. Her palm hit her spoon, sending it skittering across the table. The noise caught the attention of the few Bonded remaining in the room and they turned to stare. Kirheen sighed, turning her head to see who had disturbed her. Isa sat frozen, bright blue eyes wide, her hand pulled back near her face as if she’d been burned. Kirheen had grown up with Isa in the Temple of Growth. She was a kind, quiet girl but had a tendency to stick her nose into other people’s business if she thought she could help.

“I-I’m sorry,” she stuttered. “I was just seeing if you were alright. You haven't eaten anything today and I just…”

Kirheen grumbled, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment while she tried to bring herself back to reality. She didn’t want to explain herself, didn’t want to have to keep assuring people that she wasn’t broken. With the curious faces of her fellow Bonded looming in her peripheral, she saw little choice in the matter. “I’m fine. I’m alright.”

Isa brushed a strand of curly dark hair away from her face and exchanged a glance with her bond mate, a boy named Ian. “Are you sure? You really don’t look like you’re feeling good.”

“I’m feeling fine,” Kirheen said, forcing a smile. It made her face feel like it was made out of wax. “I just don’t have much of an appetite today, that’s all.”

The girl stared at her, concern all but bursting from her big blue eyes. Ian shifted, clearing his throat as he prepared to speak. Kirheen let her eyes meet his, her breath catching in her throat. Like Isa, she had grown up with Ian. They’d always had a tense relationship, and it wasn’t for lack of liking him. In fact, if she was honest with herself, it was because she liked him too much. She’d always kept her distance from him, always tried to avert eye contact and avoid conversation. It was too difficult to concentrate when he was around. When she’d pictured herself with a bond mate, it was always Ian she had imagined.

Like his bond mate, he had large, luminous eyes though they were a deep shade of green. Thick brown hair stuck out in an artful disarray that would have looked absolutely ridiculous on anyone else. Perhaps it was the air of confidence he gave off that allowed him to pull off not brushing his hair in the morning. Whatever it was, Kirheen had always found it intriguing.

“Are you certain, Kirheen? You haven’t eaten breakfast the past three days.” Peeking to either side, he leaned forward and spoke quietly. “Is it because of what happened? Because of what Herzin did to you?”

“Was it really as bad as people are saying,” Isa piped in.

Kirheen fixed them both with a flat stare. It was incredibly difficult trying to go about your life and forget about being mentally attacked when that seemed to be all people wanted to talk about. She had a sudden desire to flee the room, to leave them behind without an answer. What good would that do? Sure, she might escape explaining herself but she’d be silently confirming what they all believed, that she was broken.

Kirheen sighed deeply, preparing a lie that she hoped would suffice. “Listen, both of you. What’s done is done. It was just a simple accident and I’m fine. Me not eating these incredibly dull oats every morning has nothing to do with what happened. I don’t like breakfast, plain and simple.”

Several of the other Bonded that had been eaves dropping snapped their heads the other way as she scanned the table, whether out of disappointment or fear of being scolded she couldn’t tell. They finished off the last of their meal, pretending like they hadn’t just been waiting for some horrifying tale of mental torture.

Isa looked as if she’d been scolded by the Union Master himself, shuffling in her seat as she tried to contain her nervousness. She looked so innocent and unsure of herself that it made Kirheen feel horrible for snapping at them. Ian just gave her a look of uncertainty, lips pulled into a disapproving half smile, clearly not believing a single word she’d said. He didn’t press the issue further and for that Kirheen was grateful.

Sliding his bowl out of the way, Ian rose from the table and waited for Isa to do the same. “Whatever ails you, Kirheen, I do hope you start feeling better,” he said, his smile genuine this time.

“And I as well,” Isa said, stacking her empty bowl with the others. She smiled and bowed to the both of them before shuffling out of the room, Ian at her side.

Kirheen bristled with irritation, her already bad mood reaching an abysmal low. To her right, she felt Garild shift nervously. “They are right, you know,” he said softly, treading lightly into the conversation. His bowl was empty, pushed far in front of him. He’d been waiting for her, she realized. For some reason it made her even more annoyed.

Kirheen scoffed. “Not you too!”

“I’m just worried,” he snapped back.

“Can we please just ignore the fact that I’m a complete and total wreck right now? It would be really nice for a change,” she hissed, trying to stay quiet enough that the others wouldn’t hear.

“I just want to make sure you’re alright! I’m your bond mate, I’m pretty sure it’s written somewhere that I have every right to worry about you!”

“Well…stop! I’m fine! Tomias already said I’d be just fine and that there is nothing to worry about!”

“Well, he also said that I need to keep an eye on you, to make sure you don’t fall back into your own mind and it doesn’t look like you’re doing a very good job.” He’d gotten bolder over the past week, perhaps a sign that her bad attitude was rubbing off on him. And to think he’d been so innocent.

“Can you return to the meek, quiet, do-whatever-I-say Garild for a bit? I think I’d like that.”

He frowned but kept his mouth shut, at least about her current mental state. “Come on. We really should get going. We’re going to be late and Tomias will never let us hear the end of it.”

“There is no end to Tomias, ever. He never shuts up about anything,” she said sarcastically. She rose from the table, stretching her arms over her head as she willed herself to do anything other than mope. It took far more effort than she wanted to admit.

She trudged after Garild, stepping out of the Temple of Gathering and into the bright morning light. She had to blink until her eyes adjusted. It was a brisk morning, the cold air seeping through the fabric of her robes, raising tiny bumps on her skin. She found it rather refreshing, a nice change from the stuffy air of the temple.

All around her, the trees shimmered in the sunlight, as if made of some fragile stone that would crack at the slightest touch. The pale leaves twisted and intertwined, a ghastly canopy that reminded her of the frost that would soon come to Sanctuary. Many of the leaves had begun to fall from the trees and they crunched beneath her boots as she walked. She could lose herself in such things, to just be outside among the beauty and far away from those that would try and control her.

The path to their dwelling was a simple one and it wound its way gently through the forest ahead of them. Wraith wood trees lined the path, spreading for miles in either direction. There was no fence, no border or barrier to keep any of them from wandering into the woods. Just miles and miles of trees and a fog of fear thick enough to keep people from leaving.

“Garild, do you ever wonder what is out there,” she questioned softly, slowing to a halt. Her eyes looked out into the sea of trees, her heart filled with a longing she couldn’t begin to describe.

Garild halted next to her. He gave an exasperated sigh and shook his head. “No. I don't.”

“Really? You don’t wonder at all?”

“What is there to wonder? We all know what is out there.”

“And just what is that,” she challenged, arms crossing over her chest.

Garild grimaced. “I really don’t even like to think about it. All that’s out there is an endless waste, filled with madness and death and probably a number of things that would eat us in seconds!”

“And you really think it’s as bad as they say?”

“It’s probably worse,” Garild whispered, meeting her eyes. “I’m thankful for the life I have here. I don’t need to wonder about what’s out there. I really don’t want to know.”

Kirheen frowned. “Maybe so, but I’m still curious.”

“When has that ever helped you?”

She thought for a moment, disappointed when she realized that it never had. Sanctuary didn’t reward the curious, at least not in her case. “It hasn’t yet, but only because I’m the only one that has a brain around here. Nobody else respects that.”

“Uh-huh. Now can we get going? You may be curious about what sort of lecture we’ll get from Tomias for being late, but I’m not.”

With a hearty sigh, Kirheen let her gaze drift back to the path ahead of them. “Fine. Let’s go.”

They traveled for a time in silence, the only sound the rustling of leaves and the chirping of birds in the trees around them. The beauty of the world around her had been but a temporary reprieve from her thoughts and she soon drifted back to them.

It had been a long time since the Darkness had crept into the world. Could it really have been so bad? Could they really be the only ones left, the only people capable of holding back the madness that lurked outside the confines of their village? A large part of her would have given anything to know. The desire to simply leave it all behind, to step into that forest and never return, was strong. But there was a part of her too that feared what she would find. What if it was like they said; nothing but a dark and dreary world full of horrors she couldn’t possibly face. What would she do then? She couldn’t bear the thought of going so far only to come back. Part of her knew that even if she did come back, they wouldn’t just welcome her back with open arms.

A thought, and one that she found all the more terrifying, was if they were wrong. Suppose she ventured out into the world only to find that everything she’d been told was only half truths. What if she found others, survivors living life on their own terms. If she found such people, she wondered if she’d be accepted among them, and how it would feel to have a life that she could call her own. Maybe they’d just be ordinary people, and they wouldn’t have any stupid powers. Her thoughts would be safe, her heart protected. She could simply be who she wanted to be and there would be no one to hurt her or tell her otherwise.

She couldn’t imagine the disappointment she’d feel if she ventured out and didn’t find such a wonderful reality. It was the fear of disappointment that kept her from bounding off into the forest at that very moment, to leave Garild behind in the bubble he seemed to enjoy so much.

She glanced over at him as he walked along, lost in thoughts of his own, though she doubted they were quite so daring. A sudden curiosity sprung within her and without knowing how or why she felt compelled to, she pushed out with her mind, seeking purchase in his thoughts. There was resistance, like hitting a wall and a tingling sensation spread across her forehead. She frowned, disappointed.

She hadn't exactly been honest in her first meeting with Herzin. She had done a lot more than just sense her powers; she'd used them. Her fear of having her mind read had been a part of her childhood and she had taken the earliest of precautions to strengthen her mind against such intrusions. It had been a matter of trial and error, tugging at the edges of her powers until she began to grasp the concept. It was simple really, a matter of focus. Focus she could use now.

Trying again, she tried focusing more intently, honing in on Garild and that wall she’d felt. Perhaps there was a way to break through it, not in the way that Herzin had, but gently. She just needed to create a small hole that she could peer through, just enough to see what he was thinking about. Again, she felt the wall but this time she sensed a weakness, a spot that with enough force she was sure she could break through.

Garild raised his hand quickly, scratching the side of his face. It startled her and she gasped, snapping her focus away from him. She tried hard to keep a straight face, to avoid letting her guilt show. Garild glanced her way, but his attention returned to the path ahead of them.