The Bonded: The Allseer Trilogy Book I (8 page)

Trista beamed, her face triumphant. “I think that may be the first time anyone has complimented me on my cooking.”

“These…these are really quite awful, Trista.” She whipped around, hands on her hips. Tomias had taken a cake while her back was turned and he wiped away the crumbs with the back of his hand.

“See what I mean? Ungrateful”

Fenir shook his head.
“Please tell her I find her cooking to be the best in all of Sanctuary. I don’t want her to think I don’t appreciate such a fine gift.”

“Oh, gag me,”
Tomias mentally huffed. “Fenir would like you to know he isn’t the savage that I am and that he does appreciate your cooking.”

“Well, that’s kind of you. Thank you,” she said, smiling warmly at Fenir. When she turned back to Tomias, her eyes were steely. “As for you, you’ll be lucky if I bring you anything ever again.”

“Ah, and what a loss that will be,” Tomias frowned.

Kirheen and Garild were in a considerably better mood by the time they’d both devoured a few more cakes. No longer were they bleary eyed and hunched over from exhaustion. They looked alert, ready to take on another bout of training.

“Are you both feeling good enough to keep training,” Tomias asked.

They took a moment to answer, taking the time to check their walls. “I’m ready,” Garild said and Kirheen nodded.

Trista collected the empty basket. “Glad to see you are both feeling better. Good luck with your training today. Don’t push them too hard,” she warned, eyes flashing to Tomias.

“I won’t,” he assured her.

“Good.” She smiled, spinning on her heels. She headed back across the clearing, Fenir watching her as she went. Tomias turned his attention back to his young pupils.

“Shall we try again?”

“Yes, we’re ready,” Kirheen said.

Kirheen scooted away from Garild, turning her body towards him so they were face to face. She was focused, her eyes alight with determination. Garild too seemed eager to try again, a small grin playing on his face.

Tomias handed each of them a card, shuffling it back into the deck once they’d memorized the new pattern. “You may begin.”

Kirheen did not hesitate. The second the word was spoken, she closed her eyes, focusing on forming the link that would connect them. It was easier this time around; she could feel the pressure build and then snap, the invisible rope between them pulling tight. She stood before the blue threads of his mind, feeling confident that this time she would win.

She took a moment to check on her mind, staying alert for signs of Garild. There was nothing there.
He’s on the defense
, she thought. She turned her head, inspecting the wall before her. It seemed to stretch on forever. It seemed pointless to just break straight through without knowing where she needed to be. She needed to find what she was after first. She took a deep breath and reached out, touching her hands to the wall. The threads vibrated against her fingers, sending tremors through her arms.

The humming vibration of the threads filled her ears, drowning out her thoughts. As she pushed on the threads before her, flashes of images filtered through her mind. They were nothing but blurs, a kaleidoscope of colors taking shape, only to melt together again before she could decipher the meaning of them.
Focus on the card, he’s hiding it somewhere
.

She forced herself to push harder, to find meaning in the meaningless. The threads vibrated faster, the noise filling the spaces in her mind. And then she saw it, a bright flash of white, a card with a blur of color. She smiled to herself, victory within her grasp.

The thread that had revealed the card burned brighter, shooting off to her right, weaving in and out of the wall. She followed it for a time, stepping confidently towards the answer. After a time, she came upon a spot in the wall that was thicker than the rest, the threads closely coiled to prevent anyone from getting in.
Found you.

Focusing the energy she had left, she forced her powers against the block, blackening the threads as she struggled to break through. They snapped loudly, sending a shower of blue sparks falling around her. As she pushed out with her powers, she could feel the energy draining, leeching out of her fingertips. She wouldn’t lose to Garild,
couldn’t
lose to him. Losing meant letting someone in to her mind, and she had already vowed not to let that happen.

The thought made her flick her attention back to her own mind, but as she did so, she felt the connection to Garild waver. She pushed back into his mind, feeling the connection reestablish itself. A wave of fatigue washed over her, her limbs feeling weighed down. She wasn’t left with a choice. If she tried to guard her mind while attacking, she’d only wear herself out. Breathing deep, she pushed once more against his mind, blasting through the wall.

As the sparks settled, she could make out the card. Two thin green vertical lines and a yellow circle decorated the card, the image clear in her mind. “I found it,” she exclaimed. She was giddy with excitement, her heart pounding wildly.

“Tell me what it is,” Tomias said.

“Two vertical green lines and a yellow circle.”

“Wrong.”

The shock sent her back out of Garild’s mind and into reality. Her jaw dropped and she looked at Tomias with an incredulous stare.  “But it’s right there! I can see it! Two green lines and a yellow circle.”

Garild still had his eyes closed, his head dropped to his chest. There was a sickening realization that he was still in her mind. She felt her wall crumble, a sharp pain echoing where it shattered and then Garild was alert, staring at her triumphantly. “Two blue triangles with a red line beneath.”

“No,” Kirheen whispered. “No, you couldn’t. I already saw your card.”

Tomias smirked. “Was it his card? Maybe it was the card you wanted it to be? Or maybe he set it up that way to lure you away from the real answer so you’d let your guard down.”

Kirheen gritted her teeth, trying to fight back her frustration. She could feel it bubbling beneath the surface, filling her words with acid. “How is that even possible? That had to be his card.”

“But it wasn’t his card. You fell into a trap, Kirheen, and the sooner you admit to it, the sooner you can realize your mistake. You went chasing after the first sign of victory and you left yourself open.”

She wanted to fight back, to tell him he was wrong, but she knew it was pointless. Garild had bested her, whether she wanted to admit it or not. “I don’t understand. How did he set that up so fast? I attacked right away?”

“I set it up before we’d begun. I knew you’d want to win, so I set it up to lead you away from the real answer. I’m sorry Kirheen,” Garild said, his eyes filled with guilt.

Kirheen glared at him. “Is that even fair?”

“It is if you want to win,” Tomias said, nodding. “You think everyone is going to play fair with you, Kirheen? Do you think everyone will follow rules? Did Herzin follow rules? Would the Darkness?”

Her anger got the best of her and tears stung her eyes. She ground her teeth, trying to keep them from spilling over. “No, they didn’t. But I thought…”

“You thought that you could just bully your way into winning. You thought Garild was just going to break before you and that you’d be triumphant and everyone would sing you praise. It doesn’t work that way, Kirheen. It won’t work that way in training and it won’t work that way out in the real world either. The Darkness will not just sit by and let you break it. It will find every weakness, every moment of doubt and exploit that, do you understand?”

“I don’t want these powers,” Kirheen said, lip quivering. “I don’t want them and I don’t want this responsibility. I don’t want to worry about my mind like this.”

“Kirheen.”

She felt Tomias reach for her as she darted from the steps, felt his fingers brush against her arm. She wanted to run, wanted his arms to wrap around her and tell her she'd be okay, wanted to leave Sanctuary and let the Darkness swallow her whole. It was too much. It had always been too much. She wasn’t meant for such powers and she raced for the one person she thought might be able to help her.

She collapsed on the steps of the quaint hut in the trees, the smell of willow bark and amber lily filling her nose. The noise must have alerted Trista for she was by her side a moment later, shushing her gently as she sobbed.

Kirheen sat cross legged, watching the crackling blue flames of burning wraith wood. The warmth of the fire was rejuvenating, calming her nerves and settling her spirit. Trista bustled around somewhere behind her, creating some concoction she promised would help her feel better.

Water bubbled loudly in the kettle that hung over the fire and Trista swooped in to retrieve it. There was the rush of water filling a mug and a moment later, Trista was pressing a warm cup into her hands. “Drink it. It’ll help.”

Kirheen nodded, lifting the cup to her lips gently. It was smooth and rich, tasting of berries and herbs. “Thank you,” she whispered, basking in the warmth that spread through her.

“Of course.” Trista seated herself on the floor next to Kirheen, careful to not spill the contents of the cup in her hand. She stayed silent for a time, watching the flames and sipping at her drink quietly. After she’d downed her cup, she set it aside and turned her attention to Kirheen, eyes filled with concern. “You want to tell me what this is all about,” she asked.

Kirheen swallowed hard, feeling tears spring to her eyes at the question. The comfort of the drink and the fire had almost made her forget the reason she'd come in the first place. She set her cup aside, her stomach turning sour. “I’m sorry, Trista. I didn’t know where to go.”

Trista smiled sweetly. “I didn’t say it was a problem, Kirheen. You’re clearly upset though and your mental health is just as important as your physical, so start talking. Did something happen in your training? I told him to take it easy on you.”

“No, I mean, sort of!” She shook her head, feeling flustered. It wasn’t training itself that had upset her. Even Garild winning hadn’t caused her grief. It was the meaning behind the training, the dawning realization that nothing would ever be the same for her. “Garild won.”

Trista smiled, trying hard to mask her confusion. “Is that what upset you?”

“It isn’t that. I don’t know. I guess I’m fine with that.” Although she wasn’t about to admit it, she was actually proud of Garild. For being so timid, he’d done something bold and broken through her defenses before she even realized he was there. But he’d won in other ways. He’d broken through to her mind, seen her thoughts and fears. He’d seen everything she tried so hard to hide and she couldn’t bear the thought of looking at him again, of knowing that he knew what she didn’t want him to. “He was in my mind, Trista. I knew it was going to happen, I could feel it happening and I thought I could handle it.”

Tears sprung to her eyes, unbidden and she wiped at her eyes with her sleeves, trying to gather enough breath to speak. “I can’t handle knowing that they know everything, that they know every thought and feeling I have. I don’t want them to know, I don’t want them to see. I want those things to be mine.” She struggled to get the rest of the words out before she burst into tears. Trista reached over, wrapping her arms around her tightly and rocking her gently.

“Oh, Kirheen. This life you lead is hard, I know.”

“No you don’t,” Kirheen sobbed, instantly regretting she’d said it. “You don’t have these powers. You couldn’t know.”

Trista nodded in agreement, a weary frown on her face. Kirheen suddenly felt guilty, as if she’d exposed something that Trista wasn’t keen to reveal. “I’m sorry, Trista.”

“Don’t apologize. You’re right. I don’t have the same powers that you all do. But it isn’t without trials. It’s a lonely life to live, being surrounded by people different than you. It may be simpler, yes, but it isn’t always easy. I have no bond mate, nobody to share my deepest feelings with and even if I could, I wouldn’t be allowed such a thing. I can’t even block others from seeing right through me. Everyone can read my mind and I couldn’t stop them if I tried.”

Kirheen untangled herself from Trista’s arms, rubbing at her face with her sleeves. She winced as she did so, her eyes feeling raw and scratchy. “I didn’t think anyone could read your mind? Without powers…”

“Ah, I wish it were so. The mind still exists with or without powers, Kirheen. And as long as it’s there, people can know it. It isn’t just our minds that speak our deepest thoughts. Our eyes, our lips, our tongues, the way we move and speak and act, those things speak just as loudly. Fenir and Tomias know me well and it isn’t because they’ve been rooting around in my mind. They know my mind because it’s part of who I am. It comes out in every action, every word. It isn’t hard to know someone if you pay attention, and even knowing everything about them, a person can still surprise you.”

Kirheen sat quiet, her hands grasped together tightly in her lap. She felt foolish as she listened to Trista. To be so wrapped up in herself that she failed to see she wasn’t the only person suffering, it made her feel ashamed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…”

“I told you not to apologize. Never apologize for your feelings. I didn’t tell you any of that to make you feel bad, Kirheen, but perhaps it will put things in perspective for you. Things aren’t always as they seem. What bothers you now will probably seem like such a small matter later on that one day you’ll look back on it and laugh that you ever thought it was a problem to begin with. Now, how about another cup of tea?”

Trista plucked the empty cup from her side, rising to fill them. A soft knock at the door caught both of their attention and then Tomias was there, peering around the room with dark eyes. He looked bashful, as if he fully expected a scolding from Trista. With her back turned, Kirheen couldn’t see her face but she could certainly imagine it. It almost made her smile, but her lips strained with the effort and she let it fall from her face.

“What are you doing here,” Trista questioned, carefully pouring water into each cup. She didn’t even raise her head to look at him.

“I’m looking for a certain runaway. She’s about this tall,” he held up his hand to his chest, indicating her height. “Hair the color of a winter wraith wood, eyes the color of vengeance, mind as strong as…”

Kirheen snorted from behind the table. “Please tell me you aren’t describing me.”

“My, this table is new. Where did you find one that talks?”

Trista turned her head towards Kirheen, her lips curling into a smile. She handed her a cup of tea and offered the other to Tomias. He accepted it graciously and then tip toed around the table, plopping down on the floor next to Kirheen. She kept her eyes on the tea in her hand, feeling ashamed and too tired to explain herself. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply of the aromatic steam that rose in lazy tendrils.