The Book of Speculation (42 page)
Alice stays quiet. Thirty or forty miles of New Jersey later Enola says, “Thank you.” Then much more softly, “I couldn’t get to him. I just couldn’t.”
Alice takes her hand from the wheel. She finds Enola’s thin fingers and squeezes them, because she’s not good at explaining, other than to say that there are things you do for someone you’ve known your whole life, and that pulling them from the water is the very least.
They stop in Maryland. There is a shop with special paper, ragged edged, old feeling, the sort that likes a fountain pen but loves a quill. He wants leather, too, but there’s no money for it. They pay in cash—Enola’s money, crumpled twenties that Doyle had squirreled in one of his duffels, Alice’s own, and the hundred dollars that Frank forced on her when she said they were leaving. The clerk’s eyes bulge at the sum. Doyle has a difficult time lifting the reams.
At night, in scratchy motel beds on the way to Savannah, Simon stays awake to write. When his head starts to nod, Alice bends over him, kissing his arms on the bruises. Dark smudges from where she hung on to him as she dragged him from the Sound. Marks of living, she’d call them, and is grateful for the years of lifting volumes, of fishing, of being practical, for things that made her grip strong. Later, when he curls around her, when her spine curves to his stomach, he whispers, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She hears, “Thank you.”
He is building the book again. As they approach the bearded trees that mark the true Deep South, she wonders if this is just another obsession. She asks him why it matters when they’re starting over, starting new. He answers, “I am this manuscript.” The words hang heavy between them until she catches him drawing a rudimentary sketch of a black-haired child, and knows it is Enola. He’s building his history, the menagerie at its start and everywhere after, all his notes on the forgotten women, the Ryzhkovas, the Peabodys, and her.
“What will you do if you can’t find enough information?”
“Churchwarry will help,” he answers. “Sometimes we’ll make it up. The dirty secret about history is how much of it is conjecture.” He shrugs. “And we’ll fill in spaces. They were good at inventing themselves.” He’s referring to the women, the dead that have preoccupied him, but he means himself, too. He says
we
now. He didn’t used to
.
She knows that her name will find its way into his speculations. So will his. Because there are things you do for people you’ve known your whole life. You let them save you, you put them in your books, and you let each other begin again, clean.
ERIKA SWYLER
is a graduate of New York University. Her short fiction has appeared in
WomenArts Quarterly Journal, Litro,
Anderbo.com
, and elsewhere. Her writing is featured in the anthology
Colonial Comics,
and her work as a playwright has received note from the Jane Chambers Award. Born and raised on Long Island’s North Shore, Erika learned to swim before she could walk, and happily spent all her money at traveling carnivals. She blogs and has a baking Tumblr (
ieatbutter.tumblr.com
) with a following of sixty thousand. Erika recently moved from Brooklyn back to her hometown, which inspired the setting of the book.
The Book of Speculation
is her debut novel. You can sign up for email updates
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.
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Contents
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
THE BOOK OF SPECULATION.
Copyright © 2015 by Erika Swyler. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
eBooks may be purchased for business or promotional use. For information on bulk purchases, please contact Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department by writing to [email protected].
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-05480-7 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-4668-5779-7 (e-book)
e-ISBN 9781466857797
First Edition: June 2015