The Breakup Mix (30 page)

I took a staggered breath and wiped my face. “That was awesome,” I whispered.

He drew me into his arms. “I really love you, Michelle. I can’t imagine not having you in my life.” He paused then said slowly, “And I’m so sorry.”

My heart flopped as I heard the words I’d never heard from him—ever. I whispered, “Could you repeat that?”

He chuckled and hugged me tighter. “Nope. First and only.”

I laughed and snuggled into his neck. “You smell good.”

He made a show of throwing his shoulders back and puffing out his chest. “I’ve got a woman to win over. I pulled out all the stops.”

I grinned. “Guess that means I need to start shaving my legs.”

He winked. “Let’s go see how bad it is, then we’ll make that call.”

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Del Ray busy cleaning the kitchen. Martin was already engrossed in his guitar, and Gibson was back to his video games. “Gibson, please take the trash out before you get started playing again. Martin, make sure Del Ray doesn’t need help.” I looked at Brandon and whispered in his ear, “I think we’re late for an appointment.” I took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Blaze of Glory

Alissa

I sat on the deck watching the sunrise as I’d done every day for the last two weeks. Chance has yet to wake up in time to watch, and that’s okay with me. She prefers sunsets anyway. After watching the sunrise the first time, though, I never wanted to miss another one. Being on an extended vacation, I expected to sleep until I was ready to wake up, but the baby movements came mostly in the morning. Another thing I didn’t want to miss.

I only had a few more minutes to enjoy the world waking up before I had to jump in the shower and get ready for my eight o’clock appointment with the new OB doctor. I had my script rehearsed and knew the routine questions from my previous appointments in Missouri. Dani had been counting down the days to the appointment and couldn’t wait to hear the heartbeat and see how the baby was progressing. She’d devoured the book I’d given her and even read ahead a little. She should have been a boy scout with how prepared she always was. Ten bucks she wants to leave thirty minutes early to make a twenty-minute drive.

I’ve heard pregnant women become annoyed with their spouses a lot during pregnancy. Men at the office joked about having their scrotums tied to a whipping post for nine months. I guess my punching bag is Dani. I don’t know if it’s because she’s all up in my shit all the time trying to be loving and supportive or a repressed resentment I won’t acknowledge. It’s not her fault, I know that, but some days playing house with the person who is taking my baby four months from now is more than I know how to handle. And there’s no getting away from it. From her.

But I didn’t have time to sit around thinking about it. I got up, downed the rest of my orange juice and headed into the house. The aroma of coffee enveloped me as I stepped into the kitchen. Dani leaned against the counter sipping her coffee and grinned when she saw me. “Today’s the big day.”

I smiled. “Yep. What time do you want to leave?” I already knew the answer to this question, but I wanted to seem like I cared.

She slid a piece of paper across the counter. “I printed directions to the office. It says it takes twenty-three minutes to get there from here, but with morning traffic, I say we leave no later than seven-thirty.”

Ding ding ding! Called it
. I grinned. “I figured you’d say that. I’ll jump in the shower.”

Dani set her coffee cup on the counter and softly said, “Lis, I feel your hostility toward me. I’ve tried to pretend it’s all in my head, but I see it in your eyes now. If . . . if you’re changing your mind about giving up the baby, then please just tell me. Don’t make me your enemy over this.”

Guilt slammed into my chest. I rinsed my juice glass and set it in the sink. “I don’t know what’s going on with me, Dani. I’m chalking it up to hormones and getting fat.” I turned. “I’m going to tell them I’m your surrogate and that you’re the baby’s mother.” I swallowed hard and sighed. “You’re just going to have to give me some room to process this. I never . . . I didn’t . . . I wasn’t expecting . . . I didn’t know.” I leveled my eyes at her. “I didn’t know it would be like this.” I offered her my best smile while gritting my teeth. “I’m going to jump in the shower.” I slipped up the stairs and left her staring at her coffee mug. I hated myself already for the look that settled over her.

I knew that look.

I knew that feeling.

I knew how it felt to be the pregnant woman’s confidante, then enemy. Good god, I am turning into my mother.

I slid into Chance’s room and closed the door. I tiptoed to her bed and stood over her.

“Are you going to speak or just stand there like a creepy stalker?” she mumbled.

“I’m turning into my mother,” I said.

She rolled over and looked at me. “Not even close, Lis.”

“No, I am. I just treated Dani like Mom treated me when she was pregnant. I said the same words. I said, ‘I didn’t know it would be like this.’ That’s her catch phrase for everything, Chance.”

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Listen to me, girlfriend. You’re not turning into your mother. You’re a little jacked up, right? Today’s the appointment, and you’re probably just a little hormonal. Maybe a lot.”

I sighed and stared out the window. “You really should get up and watch the sunrise with me sometime.”

“The only way I’m seeing a sunrise is if I stay up all night waiting for it.”

I chuckled and looked at her. “Promise me I’m not turning out like her.”

She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I’ll kill you myself if I see it.”

I took a deep breath and let it out. “Good.” I nodded and repeated, “Good.”

She asked, “Do you want me to go with you guys today?”

I shook my head. “Nah, go back to sleep. I’m find. I need to make nice with Dani, anyway. I’m not sure how, but I’ll think of something.”

“Okay, now get out. I was having an awesome dream.” She snuggled into her blankets and buried her face in the pillow.

At 7:58, Dani and I pulled into the OB parking lot. I slid the keys out of the ignition and grinned. “See? We’re right on time.”

Dani collected her purse and sighed. “Thank God you were driving. We’d be halfway to Miami now if you’d listened to me.”

I smirked then refreshed my face to offer a genuine grin. “Let’s go see what they have to say.” We got out of the car and I linked my arm with hers to try to be more like the Alissa I was five months ago before I was knocked up with the child of a man who hates my guts. “I’m thinking after we’re done here, we need to go grab some ridiculously expensive Starbucks drinks and do a little baby shopping. What do you think?”

Dani grinned. “Music to my ears.”

We stepped through the sliding doors and sighed as the blast of air conditioning swept over us. I whispered to Dani, “Sheesh, is this a doctor’s office or five-star hotel?” We admired the modern décor and posh furniture. “Wonder how many ladies’ water has broken in those chairs?”

Dani elbowed me. “Shush, that’s disgusting,” but a smile cracked her mouth.

I pointed. “Oh, go on, have a seat, my lady.”

She shook her head. “Not on your life. I’ll wait for you.”

We stepped up to the receptionist. “Good morning, may I help you?”

I smiled. “Yes, I’m Alissa Franklin, and I have an eight o’clock appointment with Dr. DeMario.”

The receptionist’s fingers clicked on the keyboard. I’ve never seen nails that long ever. I glanced at Dani who intentionally avoided my gaze and concentrated on the counter in front of us. The corner of her lips twitched, so I knew she knew what I was thinking.

“Okay, Mrs. Franklin, here’s the new patient packet to fill out.” She pushed the clipboard toward me.

I pushed it right back and smiled. “I’ve already filled all of this out prior to the appointment.”

She frowned. “Okay, let me check on that. May I have your insurance card, please?”

“I’ll pay cash for services.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t have insurance?”

I bit my lip and smiled. “Yes, I have insurance.”

“May I have your card, please?”

“No, I will pay cash for Dr. DeMario’s services.”

The receptionist leaned on the counter. “Miss, do you know how much it costs to have a baby?”

I leaned in but Dani interjected. “Excuse me, hi, I’m Dani Miscato. Pleased to meet you.” She extended her hand and shook the receptionist’s hand. “This is an exceptional circumstance as Ms. Franklin is my surrogate. I’m paying for her doctor bills, so this will not be going through insurance.”

The receptionist sat back in her chair. “I see. Go ahead and have a seat, and I’ll have the business manager come talk to you.”

I gritted my teeth and followed Dani to a set of chairs under a piece of abstract art that looked like the color orange had vomited into a silver platter. “If that drips on me, you’re paying the dry cleaning bill,” I muttered.

She giggled. “You know she thinks we’re lesbians, right?”

“I don’t give a shit what she thinks. Did you see how she looked at me? ‘You don’t have insurance?’ Bitch, please.”

Dani shushed me and put her hand over her mouth. “She can probably hear you, Lis.”

I rolled my eyes and whispered, “I could pay for the whole damn thing right now. Why would she—”

A pretty woman with long, curly hair walked toward us with a file in her hand. My file. The one I’d spent hours filling out to avoid this stupid interrogation. She extended her hand. “Ms. Franklin, I’m Janice; we’ve exchanged phone calls and emails.”

I stood and shook her hand. “Janice, it’s nice to meet you. This is Dani, the baby’s mother.” I swallowed around the knot formed in my throat as they shook hands.

“Come on back to my office so we can finalize a few things. It’s more comfy there.” She shrugged and wrinkled her nose before she turned to guide us toward her office.

I looked at Dani and mimicked Janice’s actions before following her. Dani giggled, grabbed my arm, and whispered, “Alissa Franklin, you need to calm down.”

I whispered back, “I freaking hate OB offices. Like a lot.”

She nodded and asked, “Do you think we should hold hands when we walk past the reception desk?”

I chuckled. “Kiss me, and I’m outta here.”

We entered Janice’s office and admired the spacious yet efficient setting. We took our seats in front of her desk and waited for her to begin the spiel. She didn’t waste a moment before placing a stack of documents in front of me to begin the “initial here/sign here” regimen. The last document was authorization allowing the doctor to discuss concerns with me or the baby with Dani. I frowned. “Why do you need this? I’m right here. I mean, I’ll be here the whole time.”

Janice chose her words carefully. “This would be in the event that you’re not okay. Or, if you have questions or issues and Dani wants to call the doctor for you.”

I signed the paper and let it go. Janice flipped through my papers. “Who is Chance Bradley?” She looked at me.

“My best friend,” I replied. “Why?”

“You’ve got her listed as your emergency contact.” She pointed her pen at Dani and asked, “Shouldn’t we include Dani on there as well?”

“Yes, of course. Habit.” I smiled. “Chance has been my emergency contact for some time.” I glanced at Dani who smiled and winked.

Janice said, “Okay, the last thing we need to discuss is payment.” She looked up and smiled. “We understand you are choosing not to use your insurance and wish to pay cash.”

I smiled a little too widely for the nature of this conversation. “Yes, that’s right. I believe you and I have already done a preliminary explanation of expenses. I’d like to go ahead and pay that estimate now, and we’ll settle up the balance after the baby is born.” I grabbed my checkbook out of my purse and locked eyes with Janice. “Is that satisfactory?”

Janice blinked twice and nodded. “Yes, I think that would be fine.”

“Good,” I said as I wrote out the check. I snapped the pen down on the desk. “I presume this is the last time we’ll have the awkward moments with the receptionist regarding payment, correct? Should I take a picture of this check and post it next to her computer monitor?”

Dani mumbled, “Lis . . .”

I sat back and watched Janice grab the check before the ink was even dry. She said, “We’ll have to do preauthorization for a check this large.”

I waved her off. “Want me to tell you the balance on that account, Janice? You’d be impressed.”

Dani squeezed my leg. “Lis!”

I folded my arms over my chest and tapped my foot as I looked at the clock. “It’s 8:30, Dani.”

Janice glanced at the clock and made a phone call. “I have Ms. Franklin in my office. We’ve just finished up, so if you’re ready for her . . . very good, I’ll tell her.” She hung up. “They’re ready for you.” She stood and reached for my hand. “I’m glad to finally meet you, Ms. Franklin. I think it’s very noble what you’re doing for your friend and want this to be as rewarding for you as it is for her. Please don’t be angry for the procedures. It’s just policy we all have to follow.”

I nodded. “I understand. Thank you.”

They led Dani and me to an examination room complete with ultrasound equipment and a shelf full of pregnancy magazines. Dani was in literary heaven, and I was drowning in my anger. “I have to pee. I’ll be right back.” She nodded but didn’t speak. This was becoming her go-to move. Don’t speak around the dragon; you might get an ass full of flames. I stepped into the hallway and right into the chest of the best smelling man I’d ever had the pleasure of sniffing. I rolled my eyes up to see a strong chin and green eyes staring down at me.

He said, “Excuse me,” in a deep voice that rumbled in my belly. “Are you all right?”

I stuttered, “Good heavens, thank you
Jesus
. Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry. I’m headed to the bathroom.”

His eyes cut to the left as he pointed. “Right around the corner.”

I took a few steps back still looking at this fantastic display of manhood and prayed like hell that he wasn’t my obstetrician. While I wouldn’t mind getting naked for him, I sure didn’t want it to be so he could size up my cervix. I grinned and turned to walk to the bathroom but nearly walked into a wall. I didn’t bother looking back at him; in my mind, he hadn’t seen my mishap.