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Authors: Jeanine McAdam

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“What did you think of that?” she
asked him loudly. She wiped at the sweat dripping off her forehead. She
wondered if her skill and talent had left him at a loss for words. Later she
would remind him that nothing came easily without lots of dedication and
practice.

However, to her dismay, his
surprised expression quickly changed to embarrassed. He looked down at his boots
and kicked the dirt. Wait, he had no right, she had won. He shouldn't be acting
like that. But she didn't have a chance to set her son straight because John
was standing next to her and she had a point to make with him.

“I told you I could ride.” She poked
her finger at John's shoulder. “Bret
Bodner's
going
to be one happy fellow and there wasn't a bikini in sight.”

The undercover cop scratched his
head and studied her. “I guess you didn't need that prayer after all.” He
stared at the score board. “You're in first place with a score of seventy-two.”
He smiled proudly at her.

Cassidy squealed. Then she jumped
up and down. She never did things like that but this was fun. She looked at her
son. His eyes shifted around the area followed by an exaggerated roll that
looked like his pupils had taken a vacation in his eyebrows.

Cassidy stopped jumping.

“At least you didn't break your
coccyx,” Kevin offered dryly.

Okay, one terrific ride wasn't
going to improve their relationship drastically. But maybe it was a start and
Cassidy was going to keep trying. She planned to watch a few more episodes of
Firefly tonight and maybe some
Battlestar
. But until
then, she put her arms out. “Give your mother a hug,” she insisted, “for not
breaking her butt.”

Kevin hesitated.

“Yeah,” John encouraged. “Hug your
mother, boy.”

“You need to get your left arm in
the air higher,” Kevin told her as Cassidy stepped forward and wrapped her arms
around him. Her son didn't hug her back but at least he was letting her hug
him. “You're going to lose points because you almost touched the bull.” Then he
looked up at the score board. “Seventy-two is pretty bad,” he scolded. “Crosshairs
got more points than you did.” He laughed.

“I'll work on my arm tomorrow,”
Cassidy replied. She smiled again. Honestly, she didn't care her bull was
better than her. “It was still a damn good ride,” she told her son. “Wasn't it?”
Why oh why, did she need the validation?

“I suppose so,” Kevin reluctantly
agreed,
then
he shrugged.

Well, at least he didn't mention
anything about mortification.

One of the bull fighters, also
known as a rodeo clown passed her bull rope over the fence. “Hey, little lady,”
Mike Shannon purred which was completely inappropriate for eight-thirty in the
morning. “You forgot something. If you're going to ride you've got to pick your
rope up.” He winked at her.

This was distressing because the
man was dressed as a clown. John seemed to feel the same way. Cassidy could
feel the hairs on his arm, which were rubbing against her, stand on end.

“Thanks,” Cassidy replied as she
took a step away from John. She was embarrassed and it had nothing to do with
Kevin. The sleazy bull fighter was
right,
no
self-respecting bull rider left their rope in the dirt in the middle of the
ring. “I won't forget it next time.”

“Remember,” Mike Shannon warned. “This
is a really tough sport. If any of you girls want to compete in the men's
division you've got to carry your own rope and grow yourself some balls.” He
grabbed his polka dotted covered crotch and tugged.

“Dear Lord,” John moaned. “Could
you not do that around the lady?”

Shannon
suggested as he backed away from the fence, “You should grow yourself a pair
too preacher man.”

John did nothing. Back in L.A., if his manhood had
been insulted he would have been over that fence and had the clown on the
ground before Mike Shannon figured out his red nose was facing the ceiling.
Cassidy glanced at John again. He still did nothing.

Even though his lack of a reaction
was immensely attractive, because she'd spent many years dealing with the
fallout from his anger, she wasn't going to let that get her all flustered
around the man. She turned away and started walking toward the locker room. Within
two steps John was at her side.

“Don't listen to your son, it was a
good ride,” he told Cassidy, his cowboy boots keeping in step with hers. This
man who never said anything supportive or encouraging had actually complimented
her. Cassidy was surprised but regrettably not delighted. It was too late. It
wasn't John’s approval she was looking for anymore. She watched Kevin disappear
behind the chutes. She wanted her son's blessing.

Then John did something totally
idiotic and completely stupid in the empty hallway. He kissed Cassidy.
A quick, wet, and extremely clumsy smack on the lips.
It was
more like she imagined Pastor John to kiss than L.A. John. Just as quickly as
he swooped down on her mouth he pulled back.

Cassidy wiped her lips on her
sleeve. “Why did you do that?” she demanded to know ignoring the fluttering in
her stomach. Damn this man, she didn't want to feel like that after such a
crappy kiss.

“Why not?”
John replied innocently. “You won the competition.” He pointed at the scoreboard.
The last competitor had fallen off her bull and the riding was over. “We need
to celebrate.” He took his hands off her hips and leaned back against the wall
across from her. She already missed the feel of his touch. It may sound weird,
but John Risk was a man with very strong fingers and Cassidy liked them.

“You're a minister,” she said
accusingly. She looked around to see if anyone could hear them. “And,” she
whispered, “
you're
working.” She knew he would pick up
on her double meaning.

Except he didn't
react.
Not even a movement of his Adam's apple.

Slightly unnerved Cassidy folded
her arms over her chest and shifted her hips toward him. She knew she was being
coy but it was so damn difficult to not be attracted to him. Sort of like Mal
having the
hots
for that prostitute with the heart of
gold on Firefly. Cassidy shook herself a little. She had wanted togetherness
with Kevin but she wasn't sure if she wanted to start thinking like him.

“I'm not a Catholic priest,” John
replied with a snort. “I can kiss the girls.” He pulled himself off the wall
and took a step toward her. Since the alley between the arena and locker room
was narrow he was practically on top of her. She could feel his breath on her
eyelashes. Cassidy's heart pounded faster.

“How many buckle bunnies have you
kissed around here?” she challenged. “I don't want to be another notch in your rosary
beads.” Before she met John, he was known as a player at the station house. It
seemed she was the only woman who could get him to commit. Sort of like Rachel
with Logan—except
John didn’t commit for long.

Then she brushed against his chest
as she lifted her hand to push him back. He shuddered and her entire body
reacted to his. It would be a very bad decision to get involved with John again
even though it was great for her ego to know he was still attracted to her.

He chuckled. A deep sound that made
her toes tingle. “They don't want me,” he said slowly. “They want the bull
riders.” He actually looked sad.

Oh boy, her body always responded
to every grunt, moan, and wail the man made. Add in rejected and depressed and
Cassidy wanted him even more. Again, she couldn't. He was still doing the job
she was done with.

“I, I don't believe you,” she
sputtered. “Everyone wants you.”

“Most of the time dead,” he said
dryly. He continued to look sad. He used to laugh when there was a bounty on
his head. It seemed he had changed.

“I don't want you dead,” she told
him. She was trying to make him feel better without kissing him. They needed to
create a new pattern in their relationship. Maybe they could be friends.

He grinned.

It melted her heart, like it always
had. Cassidy turned away. She had to be
strong,
she
didn't want the life John Risk offered. She wanted a cold shower, some hot food,
and to find her son. She took a step toward the locker room.

“I found a hobby,” John whispered.

Cassidy stopped. She turned her head.
Before she left L.A.
she told John he needed to find something to do with himself besides police
work. Between assignments, every undercover cop had to take four weeks off
before starting another job. It was a way to unwind and regroup. Cassidy spent
her time practicing on her mechanical bull and lifting weights. John spent his
researching drug dealers.

Cassidy snorted and turned away.
She didn't believe him. Next he'd be telling her he took up crocheting or
scrapbooking. A hobby wasn't something this man did. “See
ya
later, Pastor John,” she replied. She reached for the handle on the door.

“Don't you want to know what my
hobby is?” he begged. One of the cowgirls who'd fallen off her bull passed.
Cassidy held the door open for her. Once she was gone John glanced around to
ensure nobody else was near.

“No,” Cassidy said bluntly. It was
just too little too late. At the time she suggested the hobby, he laughed at
her which hurt her feelings. Then he said, “A hobby wasn't going to keep the
streets safe.”

“Why not?”
He leaned against the wall and stuck his hands in his pockets. Then he
shrugged. “After you left I took your suggestion and got a life.” She pulled at
the door again. “I don't research drug dealers anymore on my days off,” he
added quickly.

Cassidy sighed. The plan had been
to not take any interest in John as a human being. Then she wouldn’t want to
get involved with him. Honestly, she tried not to but she asked anyways. “What
is your hobby?” she moaned. She rolled her eyes, sort of like Kevin had done
earlier.

“I've taken up religion.” He smiled
eagerly at her. He wanted her approval.

But Cassidy didn’t understand. She
let the door go. They were still alone in the hall. “Religion?” she asked.

“Bible study, theology, and just
plain old personal growth,” he told her. “Maybe a better way to describe it is
I'm studying spirituality in my free time.” He smiled shyly. “That was how I
got this job because I knew something about the Old Testament.”

“So, Pastor John,” Cassidy asked
dryly, the cold shower completely forgotten. He had definitely gotten her
attention and it wasn't for sexual reasons anymore. “That sermon you're giving
on Sunday is the real deal?”

“It is.” He actually looked proud
of himself.

“Isn't that illegal?” she asked. She
thought for a moment.
“Or immoral?”
Then again the law
and morality never stopped John.

“No,” he protested. “I have a
certificate,” he said while digging in his pocket. “I'm covered on both counts.”
He pulled out the folded piece of paper. There was a big crease down the middle
so it was hard to read.

“Did you get this online?” Cassidy
finally asked after she studied it for a moment. She had no idea if the thing
was real. Yes, she probably sounded judgmental. When she recommended a hobby
she thought it would be running, sailing or maybe even baking cookies.

His face flushed red.

“Don't you think that's...

Cassidy had a hard time coming up with the right word. “Sacrilegious?”
she finally decided upon.

“It's a certificate,” he replied.
“Perfectly acceptable in some circles.”
His eyes shifted to
the right. “Not any different than a partner not telling another partner she
has a kid.” He sighed. “
Which could be considered
sacrilegious to some cops.

Cassidy knew he'd mention Kevin at
some point. Yes, she probably should have told him when the motorcycle club
assignment came up. But she wanted so badly to do that job and she didn't want
anything to stand in her way.

“Why?” she asked, because this
conversation wasn't about her or Kevin. “Why are you doing this?” Maybe he
wasn't lying about being a preacher but he was lying about other things. He'd
already misled Rachel and Logan concerning his identity. Rachel honestly
thought he was some kind of a crazy Christian, which wasn't fair to all the
really nice Christians out there.

“You know,” John replied. “I can't
tell you about my assignment.”

Cassidy shook her head and reached
for the door handle again. “I know, I know,” she said as she pulled it open. “And...I
don't want to know.” Without looking at him again, she disappeared into the
locker room. That cold shower was waiting.

 
 

 

 

Chapter Four

 
 

“I want to know what you are doing
in this line,” Logan said to Cassidy, “instead of that line.” With the tip of
his calloused finger flying through the air, her brother pointed first at the men's
line followed by the women's line. Rachel was behind him pushing Storm in his
umbrella stroller.

After Cassidy's new sister-in-law
read the signs and figured out what was going on she smiled. While her husband
continued to frown at his baby sister, Rachel gave Cassidy two enthusiastic
thumbs up followed by a, “You go girl.”

“I'm paying my entry fee,” Cassidy
told Logan with
a quick smile at Rachel. Cassidy was really starting to like this woman the
rodeo called the naked protester. She had her priorities straight because who
cared if a girl rode with the cowboys or the cowgirls?

On the other hand, Logan continued to scowl.
“In which division?” he demanded to know. The new father didn't need to get his
chaps in a cinch. What did it matter where Cassidy rode? It was the same bulls
anyways.

“The men's,” Cassidy answered
calmly. She lifted her index finger and poked her brother in the chest. She had
every right to ride with the men because she'd won the last four women's
competitions in Tulsa,
Albuquerque, Odessa, and Fort Worth. In other words,
she was mopping up the field and feeling pretty damn good about herself.

Plus, she'd been strong on other
fronts. After that first sizzling but sloppy kiss, she'd been able to avoid
John Risk's advances, even though he showed up practically everyplace with that
swoon worthy smile on his face.

“Ouch,” Logan moaned rubbing at his
pec
. “Why'd you do that?”

Sometimes Logan could be dense and needed a good jab to
get the neurons firing. But Cassidy wasn't going to enlighten him to that
problem of his, instead she poked him again. He tried to swat her hand away but
she was too fast and he missed. The more Cassidy competed the quicker her
reflexes got. She was at the top of her game and there was nothing more life
affirming than getting on a bull and riding its wave of fury for eight seconds.
Redemption was another word she used to describe the euphoria.

“Because you weren't listening to
me when I told you my goal was to ride with the men.” With a smile and another
poke Cassidy teased her brother. Finally Bret
Bodner
recognized she was good and grudgingly offered her an opportunity to compete in
Colorado.
While driving north he told her on speaker phone, “There aren't any more girls,
you've bested them all.” Reluctantly he added, “So you'll have to compete
against the men.” And he didn't suggest she ride in a bikini.

“In this
competition?”
Logan
asked eyes wide. They were at the Pikes
Peak or Bust rodeo. It was a big one and
attracted bull riders from all over the world. “You're going to ride with the
men just when I'm making my comeback.” He pulled on his ear. “You'll ruin my
return. There's lots of excitement surrounding me and you'll take all the
attention away with this first ever female bull riding thing.” He was talking
really loud.

“Bret offered me a spot,” Cassidy
answered quietly. She wasn't poking at her brother anymore. She didn't like the
idea of raining on Logan's parade, but this
was her opportunity to
fulfill
her dream. Even Kevin
was showing a little excitement. When she asked him how he felt about it in the
car, he told her it was pretty cool. Then he advised her, “To not get her hopes
up because he was still embarrassed by her.” At least she had been demoted from
mortified.

“My overall score is as good as
some of the middle-tiered male riders,” Cassidy told Logan.

“But the bulls are bigger and bred
meaner in the men's division.”

“You don't know that,” Cassidy
argued.

Rachel stepped forward. “I've never
heard of that either. I can ask Matt. He probably knows.” Matt Dillinger is a
bull owner and was Rachel's nemesis during her protesting days until they
figured out they were both fighting for the health and wellbeing of the bulls.
Now, Rachel and Matt are the best of friends.

“Hey, Logan,”
Kevin offered as he looked up from his computer. Yes, Kevin was again standing
next to Cassidy in the registration line with his
Macbook
in the crook of his left arm. He typed with his right hand. Some would call
Cassidy's son a geek but Cassidy preferred to think of him as a multi-
tasker
.

Logan
glanced at his nephew but didn't respond because focusing on more than one
thing wasn't something he did well. “Why now?” Logan
asked Cassidy, a slight whine in his voice. A few riders stopped by the line
and welcomed him with hearty handshakes and slaps on the back. Cassidy didn't
think she'd steal any of his thunder, he was popular.

“Because I've got a better overall
score than Jarret Price and Blake Carpenter,” she replied. With a calculator Cassidy
had studied the standings last night. “And, I haven't fallen off a bull yet,” she
added. She wanted to knock on wood but unfortunately in a gaudy hotel
conference room there was nothing natural around. If only she had her gold
coin, but it was back in her room. She looked for John. She was thinking about
rubbing his leather band but he was nowhere in sight, which was odd. She'd just
have to pray the gods of broken bones were not looking down on her at that
moment.

“Yeah,” Logan
said scratching his head. “But Price and Carpenter suck. Any girl could beat
them.” He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder.
“Even
Rachel.”

The woman from Brooklyn tapped
her husband on the shoulder. “I didn't know you were so against people pursuing
their dreams.” Even though she was shorter she looked down her nose at her
husband. It was a thing only those born and bred in New York
could do.

“I'm not against anyone's dream,” Logan
tried to defend himself. “I just don't think she should bull ride in the men's
division.” He pushed his hat back and rubbed his forehead. “Remember she's got
a son.”

“And, she's doing a great job with
him,” Rachel replied.
“Even though I was a little hesitant at
the beginning.”
She glanced at Cassidy apologetically. “I think this
road trip was a wonderful idea.”

Rachel’s approval meant so much and
just when Cassidy was getting ready to thank her for her vote of confidence Logan
stepped in. “I know, but riding with the men is—” Logan
started again.

“You’re sounding a lot like a—”
Rachel interrupted.

“I'm not a chauvinist,
anti-feminist, or even—” Logan looked down at his
boots as he snapped his fingers next to his head. “What was that thing you
called me when we first met?” he asked Rachel.

“Misogynist?”
Rachel suggested.

Logan
nodded and pointed at her. “I'm not that either.” He took a deep breath.

“Then what is wrong with you?” She
wanted to know.

A cowboy behind them in line
muttered something about Logan liking sheep but
they ignored him. Another guy wearing a Kenny Chesney T-shirt commented on Logan's
itsy-bitsy private part. He got ignored too.

“I just don't want to see Cassidy
get hurt,” Logan
finally told his wife in a low voice. Then, he glanced at the guys to ensure
they couldn’t hear. Like John Risk, Logan
had gotten a lot better at ignoring insults. He stuck his hands in his pockets
and leaned into Rachel. “Holy hell, she's my little sister and I finally have
her back,” he whispered.


Ahhh
,”
Rachel moaned her body shifting toward her husband. “You are so sweet.” She
pushed the hair off his forehead. Then she wrapped her hands around his face,
thumbs caressing his chin. “That is the nicest thing I’ve heard you say all
day.”

Logan
took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He seemed to think he was off the hook.
But not yet...with her hands still on his cheeks Rachel swung his chin back and
forth. “Even though you're concerned, you're still being discriminatory toward
Cassidy because of her sex.” Rachel continued to look lovingly into her
husband's eyes.

“I care about her,” Logan
moaned. “Bull riding is a brutal sport. If she took up tennis or rock climbing
or even freaking Frisbee football, then I'd be able to support it.” He glanced
at Cassidy. “You understand, don't you?”

Cassidy shook her head. So did
Kevin.
Which was a nice show of solidarity.

“That's very kind,” Rachel conceded
as she touched her lips lightly to her husband's mouth. Both Kevin and Cassidy
waited for another rebuttal from Rachel, maybe something about Logan still being sexist.

However, it didn’t come and Cassidy
was confused. Did Rachel just switch teams after that kiss? Maybe she did,
because now she was digging her fingers into Logan's
shoulders while he was tipping his head to deepen their kiss.

“What happened to him being a
chauvinist?” Cassidy asked Kevin. “I thought she was on my side.” Cassidy was
feeling a bit sold out.

“They should get a room,” Kevin
commented after what seemed like a lifetime of watching their epic lip lock but
was probably only fifteen seconds. “It's disgusting,” he added. The guys who
made the bad jokes about Logan's masculinity
started hooting and coming up with even more creative insults.

But that didn’t stop Logan and
Rachel. Cassidy couldn't leave because she didn't want to lose her place in
line. Pike's Peak
registration wasn't as efficient as Tulsa.
No iPads. So all she could do was stand there and realize she had a similar,
all encompassing, heart pounding hunger for John back in L.A.

“Are they always like this?”
Cassidy asked Kevin trying to cover up the longing she was sure appeared on her
face. Okay, there was probably jealously present too. Cassidy wondered if John
stopped working undercover, found a hobby that had nothing to do with his job
and made a commitment to his cat, would she want to renew their relationship?
Her loins, for lack of a better word, were screaming yes while her heart tried
to remind her of how deeply the man had hurt her.

After another ten seconds, Kevin
closed his computer and muttered, “Caleb tells them all the time it makes the
rest of us uncomfortable.” His eyes shifted between Logan and Rachel again.
“Especially Carrie.
Asian people don't like public displays
of affection.”

“Isn't that stereotyping?” Cassidy
asked.

He shrugged. “She doesn't mind.” He
glanced at his wrist even though it was empty of a watch. “They should be
coming up for air soon.” He seemed resigned to the situation which was
completely out of character for him.

“So, you're embarrassed by me when
I get on a bull but when they do this…” Cassidy gestured toward her brother.
She didn't have a chance to finish her inquiry because Logan
finally broke it off. It seemed while he was kissing his wife he had a chance
to shore up his argument because he started talking immediately. Maybe the man
could multitask after all.

“I'm also worried about the cowboys
harassing you.” He took his hands off Rachel's hips. “Just ask Rachel and
Carrie, they've both had problems with an asshole named

L.T. Lane
.”

Rachel stuck her head out from
around Logan's
shoulder. “He's manageable,” she explained to Cassidy. She wiped her mouth with
the tips of her fingers. “He told Carrie” she continued, “
she'd
ruin the rodeo if she made the cowboys wear helmets and he told me to not run
naked.” Rachel shrugged. “The rodeo isn't ruined and most of the bull riders
wear helmets.”

“What happened with you running
naked?” Cassidy asked.

“I don't run naked anymore.” She
winked at her husband. There was
a panache
to this
woman that Cassidy had to respect. She never winked at John. Maybe that was
something she should try, then again, didn't she just decide she was
maintaining their status as broken up no matter how hot he looked. Yes, fringe
shirts and flood jeans were starting to grow on her.

Logan
muttered, “Thank God, you listened to the idiot.”

“But Carrie didn’t listened,”
Rachel countered. “She's still fighting to make helmets mandatory.” Rachel looked
proud of Caleb's neuroscientist wife. Cassidy wondered if her sister-in-laws
were close and felt a pang of jealously. She would like to be a part of that
bond even though Rachel was two timing her with Logan.

“I can handle a cocky cowboy,”
Cassidy replied lamely. Too bad she couldn't back up her words with a few
comments about her time with the Highwaymen. She added in a much stronger
voice. “And, I can ride a bull.” She poked her brother again. “I'll try not to
steal your thunder but thunder goes where thunder goes.”

 

* * * *

 

“Every bull rider eats dirt,” Logan
announced while waving a bread stick at Cassidy. He was still trying to talk
her out of riding in the men's division. “And a part of your body that you
really like gets broken.” After they registered, but before Cassidy was told by
Mrs. Goodwin, the registration lady, that she firmly disapproved of women
riding with men, the Cooper family decided they needed lunch. Sitting in an
Italian restaurant across from the hotel, Logan
was imparting his
wisdom,
Rachel was trying to get the
baby to take her breast, while Kevin typed on his laptop.

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