The Bully Book (7 page)

My mom is so mad about Colin Greene. She has gone insane.

She doesn't understand what's going on. But it's not like I can explain anything to her. What can you honestly say about this stuff?

When I get home from school and I'm safe from it all, the last thing I want is to relive it. Especially with my crazy mom.

She was like, “How could you do this! How could you hurt someone!”

And I tried to tell her it was complicated. I had good reasons. It was an accident.

“When is there ever a good reason to hurt someone, Eric? That's not what I taught you. That's not the son I raised!”

This isn't about the son that she raised. This is about the son who's in trouble. The son who's a target, a Grunt. The son that she does not have the power to help.

So I started to cry a little. Fortunately, Mom misinterpreted this, as she does everything. She didn't know it was because I'm trapped in a maze of torture. She thought I was crying because I was sorry.

So to prove it, she made me call Colin and invite him over for dinner on Friday. That's right, dinner with Colin Greene. If he ends up sitting across from me, I'm wearing a smock.

When it rains, it pours.

Someone is lying to you if:

When they look into your eyes, they blink a lot.

They talk slower than usual.

When you walk into a room they immediately stop what they're doing.

Questions bother them.

Their voice gets higher.

Their body freezes.

Dinner with Colin tonight.

It's all about listening carefully to the conversation. That's how you catch a crook.

M
OM
: So boys, what did you do in school today?

C
OLIN
: Uh … not much, Mrs. Haskins.

M
E
: Nothing, Mom.

(This isn't entirely true. I hid from The Evil Three in the bathroom all recess, and it vastly improved my day.)

M
OM
: Well, you can't have done nothing. They don't have you staring at walls all day.

M
E
: Pretty much.

M
OM
: Colin. What was the first class you and Eric had today?

C
OLIN
: That's homeroom, Mrs. Haskins.

M
OM
: It's Ms. Haskins, Colin. Not Mrs. Haskins.

C
OLIN
: Oh, sorry.

(My mom is so annoying about people calling her Mrs. She might as well get a giant tattoo on her left hand that says NO WEDDING RING! SEE!)

M
OM
: That's all right, Colin. Now, what did you do in homeroom? What's that class all about?

M
E
: Taking attendance.

M
OM
: All right, fine. What was the class after homeroom?

C
OLIN
: That's math, Mrs … uh, Ms. Haskins.

M
OM
: Math? Wonderful! You love math, Eric!

M
E
: English.

M
OM
: What?

M
E
: I like English, Mom.

C
OLIN
: I like math.

And that's when it hit me. Colin likes math.

Ever since he signed up for the Math Buddies program, Colin's grades in math have been getting better and better. And if you ask Colin why his math skills have improved so much (as my mother did at dinner), he'll tell you two words.

C
OLIN
: Matt Galvin.

M
OM
: So he's an 8th grader that you meet with?

C
OLIN
: Yeah, I meet him once a week on … Wednesdays.

Gotcha, Colin. Matt Galvin is the 8th-grade Boy Scout who runs the Math Buddies tutoring program. Even though he's going for a Teach Math to Babies badge, he seems like an all-right guy. A friendly face that Colin wouldn't be afraid to approach.

It was on a Tuesday that I went over to Colin's house and Richard told us about The Bully Book. He predicted that Colin would be this year's Grunt and be tortured and humiliated. Terrified, Colin went to the biggest, coolest kid he knows, Matt Galvin, who he meets with on Wednesdays.

When my mom excused herself to go the bathroom, I grabbed Colin by the arm.

“What did Matt Galvin tell you about The Bully Book?” I said.

“Nothing,” Colin stammered. “I never mentioned it to anybody.”

I picked up a piece of silverware and held it under the table. I let it brush up against Colin's leg, poking him.

“This fork says you did mention it.”

“Ahh!” Colin screamed. “Okay, okay! I'll tell you, just don't stab me!”

“No problem,” I said, putting the utensil on the table. “It was only a spoon. Now confess.”

“Okay. When Richard told us about everything, I was scared. I didn't wanna get made fun of. I hate being made fun of.”

Colin hasn't had it so bad lately.

“So the next day at school, I was really nervous. I kept looking around, seeing bullies everywhere. I couldn't believe somebody would have such an evil book. I got so worried that after school I threw up.”

If there isn't bodily fluid, it's not a Colin Greene story.

“I sat in the bathroom for a while just feeling awful. And then I remembered I was late for Math Buddies. When Matt asked me where I'd been, I just told him the whole thing.”

“So, you told Matt Galvin about The Bully Book? About the Grunt? What did he say?”

“Well, he listened to the story. Then he looked at me and said, ‘I've been a Boy Scout for a long time, so I know a lot about secret codes, and old books, and all sorts of different clubs and oaths and everything. And I've never heard of a Bully Book. And even though “Grunt” is a name you might call someone you don't like, there's no such thing as the kind of Grunt you're talking about. It's probably just Richard's imagination. Just a crazy conspiracy theory.'”

Colin sat back in his chair. He had a satisfied look on his face.

This was trash. Clearly, Matt Galvin's words were comforting to Colin. I wish they could have comforted me. But it didn't fit the facts.

Even if there's no such thing as a Bully Book, and the stuff I heard from Richard and Donovan is wrong, and everything I've been going through is completely random, it still doesn't explain who beat up Richard and why.

Here's what I know:

• Jason, Donovan, and Adrian have all teamed up to make my life miserable.

• Donovan said I am the Grunt because I fit the description in a book that they have.

• Richard told me and Colin he was the Grunt in sixth grade when a bunch of guys teamed up against him.

• Colin told Matt Galvin that Richard was talking about The Bully Book and then Richard was beaten up.

Looking at this evidence, here's the best guess I have on what's happening:

There is a Bully Book that gets passed down from grade to grade. I'm sure of that now. It also looks like there is a group of kids in the middle school who are part of the conspiracy—they're the ones who beat up Richard. I bet they're all former Bully Bookers.

Colin told Matt Galvin that Richard was talking about The Bully Book and then Richard got beat up. Either Matt Galvin is a Bully Booker or he told some friend of his about this crazy story Richard Greene's little brother shared with him—and that friend is a Bully Booker.

Those are the only two ways the Bully Bookers in the middle school could have found out about Richard spilling it.

Either Matt Galvin is a very dangerous man—or he's in danger himself. No matter which way it is, I need to learn more about him. He's close to The Book, or at least friends with someone who is. He could get me back on track to finding The Bully Book and the reason I'm the Grunt.

We finished dinner and Colin finally went home.

There is a lot that I need to plan for. But first, Mom says I need to wash the spittle stains out of this tablecloth.

I've been telling you to do things differently. It's probably not what you're used to. It's not how people make friends on TV.

Everybody says to find people you can be yourself around. What they don't tell you is who “yourself” is. This never worked for me. Whenever I tried to “be myself,” I could never come up with anything to say.

I think I know why this is.

You're told who you are by the people around you. People act the way they're expected to.

Everyone acts different around different friends. With some friends you're goofy, with some friends you're cool. You act different with your mom and dad than you do with your grandma.

Everyone is telling you who to be. This isn't bad if everyone expects you to be the coolest kid in class. Then, being happy and popular is easy.

But some people are expected to be losers, or idiots, or punching bags, and because they don't know any better, that's how they act.

I did.

But not anymore. I realized being yourself isn't something that just happens. You have to create yourself. And to keep yourself safe, you have to create other people too, like the Grunt.

Make them how you want them to be.

I'm freaking out a little. On the bus. Trying to calm down.

The bus is shaky. It's hard to write.

I think the bus driver is eyeing me right now.

He stopped.

I snuck out of recess. I got on the preschool bus that takes home the a.m. preschoolers.

This bus will stop near the middle school.

I've got to find Matt Galvin.

I went up to a little kid waiting for the preschool bus. Told him my name was Colin Greene, that I was a school safety officer and would help him get on the bus. This kid knew nothing of Stranger Danger.

The driver asked what I was doing on the preschool bus.

The kid said I was Colin Greene, safety guy.

Now I'm on the bus.

The middle school's in my sights.

Middle-school recess was insane. The sun felt hotter there for some reason. Kids were screaming, running, kicking balls, swinging bats, and spinning jump ropes around their bodies like whips. If you walked too close to anybody, you'd get knocked out. They zoomed past me in all directions. Like I was stranded in the middle of a highway and trying not to get run over by the SUVs.

I had to find Matt Galvin. My watch told me there were 20 minutes until the p.m. preschool bus left for Arborland Elementary. I looked for him all over the enormous playground. It's like a city of kids. The baseball players had made a diamond out of hats and jackets, and their bats and ball were real, not the NERF kind we have. The batter cracked one hard and it flew into an angry clump of boys playing football. It hit one of them in the leg or the arm, it was hard to tell, and like a nestful of hornets, they buzzed around in a rage, charging at the baseball guys. They hurled insults and pointed fingers. I checked their faces for Matt Galvin, and just when it seemed the football and baseball kids were going to attack each other, a whistle sounded and an angry recess monitor ran between them, threatening detentions.