The Butterfly Box (10 page)

‘I want to kiss you, Estella. I want to kiss you very much.' he said, inching closer towards her. The chatter from the terrace faded with the roar of the sea. It was only him and Estella and the doleful melody of Cat Stevens that sang out ‘Oh baby baby it’s a wild world’ on the gravelly record behind them.

‘Papa, shall we go down to the beach soon?’ said Federica, skipping into the sitting room, pleased to find her father up and dressed. Ramon stiffened. Estella’s shoulders tensed and she turned with the grace of a panther and slipped back to the cool sanctuary of the kitchen where she leant against the table and fanned herself with her cookbook. Her heart jumped about like a frightened bird and her legs shook as if she were walking on them for the first time. She felt the sweat trickle down her back and between her breasts. She was excited that he desired her too, yet afraid because she knew she shouldn’t sleep with a married man whose wife and children were in the same house. She knew she could lose her job. She also knew that he just lusted after her, wanted nothing more than to make love to her then cast her aside and return to his marital bed. But she didn’t care. One night, she prayed, God give me one night and I’ll never misbehave again. She couldn’t help herself. She was powerless to resist.

She bent over the table and began to chop up the vegetables to calm her agitated nerves.

Ramon followed his daughter reluctantly out onto the terrace and sat down at the table, glad to be able to hide the excitement that strained against his shorts. He poured himself some coffee and buttered a piece of toast. Helena was sitting at the other end of the terrace with his mother and Hal. She looked happier and more relaxed but Ramon didn’t notice, all he saw was Estella and all he could think about was how he was going to engineer it so that he could make love to her.

Federica sat on the chair next to his with her legs swinging in the air impatiently. She placed the box on the table in front of her and opened and closed it, turned it around and tilted it but Ramon was too distracted to give her the attention she wanted.

‘Good morning, son,’ said Ignacio, emerging with his panama hat placed firmly on his head, in a pair of loose ivory trousers and a short-sleeved, sky-blue shirt. ‘I thought we could go and have lunch in Zapallar today then drive on to Papudo. I know someone around here who wants to ride on the ponies,’ he said and chuckled as Federica leapt down from her chair and ran up to him.

‘Yes please!’ she cried, throwing her arms around his waist. Ignacio patted her white hair and took off his hat to fan himself. It was hot and the air was sticky with the scent of the eucalyptus trees.

‘That’s a lovely idea, Nacho,’ said Mariana. ‘The children would love that. You’d like an ice cream, wouldn’t you, Hal?’ she said to Hal who was playing with the box of toys Mariana always kept in the house for her grandchildren. Hal nodded before once again busying himself with his game.

‘I’m going to take Fede down to the beach,’ said Ramon, who had no intention of going to Zapallar for lunch. He was going to spend the afternoon making love to Estella.

‘I’ll come with you, Ramon,’ said Mariana. ‘I could do with a walk. Will you be all right here, Helena?’ she asked.

Helena smiled and nodded. ‘I’ll be fine with Hal, thank you,’ she replied. She hoped Ramon would tell his parents of their plans, because she didn’t think she had the courage to tell them herself. She watched them disappear back into the house. She had slept well and woken in a good humour. Mariana and Ignacio’s house was serene and cool, away from the tension that seemed to cling to the walls back in Viña. Here she felt liberated. They had separate rooms and she had her own space. Ramon was diluted with his parents. He didn’t seem so big and oppressive with them as he did when he was alone with her. She lay back in her chair and thought of Polperro.

Ramon and Mariana wandered down the beach while Federica skipped and jumped, playing tag with the waves that rushed up onto the beach. It was too early for people to start filling up the sand with their towels and their oiled bodies, so they had the beach to themselves.

‘I’m so pleased you’ve come back, Ramon,’ said Mariana happily. She had taken off her sandals to reveal her painted red toenails that ate into the sand as she walked. ‘We do miss you when you’re away. I know you and understand you,’ she said sadly, ‘so I’m not complaining. You do give us such pleasure.’

‘Mama,’ he said, taking her hand. ‘You give me pleasure too. I don’t know why I can’t stick around for long, something inside me just tells me to keep moving.’

‘I know. It’s your creativity,
mi amor
,’ she said as if that excused everything.

‘I wish I were married to someone like you,’ he sighed.

‘Helena understands you more than you think. It’s good for you both to get away together. She looked very strained yesterday, but the colour has come

back to her cheeks today. She seems much happier.’

‘Does she?’ he asked. He had barely noticed her.

‘Yes, she does. You know she needs a bit of time to get to know you again each time you come back. You have to be patient and not expect too much.’

‘Yes,’ he said. He was glad his father hadn’t shared their conversation with her. He knew he should tell her the truth himself. That Helena was leaving him, leaving Chile, leaving to start again on a distant shore. But he knew it would break his mother’s heart to tell her that she wouldn’t watch her grandchildren grow up and he couldn’t bear to upset her. She was so happy to see them, now wasn’t the moment. So he just smiled down at her.

‘Mama, do you mind if I don’t come to Zapallar with you all. I’m weary. I’d really appreciate some time alone. I know you understand me better than anyone. I want some quiet time without the children,’ he said carefully, knowing how to get around his mother from years of practice.

Mariana concealed her disappointment. ‘Well, seeing as you’re spending so much time with us I’ll let you off,’ she said and chuckled.

‘Four weeks,’ he said.

‘Is it really that long until New Year?’ she asked in amazement. ‘No, it must

be less,
mi amor
, we’re already in December.’

‘Well, just under.’

‘What have you got the children for Christmas?’

‘I don’t know,’ he replied truthfully. He and Helena had been so preoccupied with their own troubles they had completely forgotten about Christmas.

‘You gave Fede that stunning box. I think she’s so happy with that she won’t expect anything else,’ said Mariana, remembering the staggering beauty of that strange object.

‘Oh, Helena has bought them trunkloads of gifts. In that department they are certainly not lacking,’ he chuckled.

‘How lucky they are. We’ll have a lovely Christmas, you’ll see,’ she said, squeezing his hand.

Federica was disappointed her father wasn’t joining them for lunch in Zapallar and swallowed back her tears. Helena suffered a confusing mixture of emotions. On one hand she was relieved and looked forward to some time without the unsettling weight of his presence, but on the other hand she was drawn to him like a reckless fly about the head of a bull. She felt compelled to be near

him if only to provoke a reaction. Ignacio commented dryly that he had already had three months on his own, but after their conversation the night before he understood that his son wanted time, not on his own, but away from his wife and that saddened him. He hoped they would wake up and realize their marriage was worth saving.

Ramon watched the car disappear up the sandy track and waved at Federica who waved forlornly back with her small, pale hand.

It was very hot. The midday sun pounded against the earth with its full force. He wiped his sweaty brow with his sleeve then headed back into the house. He went straight into the kitchen in search of Estella, but she wasn’t there. So he walked hastily onto the terrace, his heart pounding against his chest in anticipation, but she wasn’t there either. His eyes scanned the sitting room with impatience. He didn’t want to lose a moment. Finally he strode down the corridor towards his room. He heard the rustle of linen and the low hum of her voice as she sang happily to herself.

When he appeared at the door of his room Estella sprung around in fright. No one had told her that Don Ramon wasn’t going to Zapallar with the rest of the family. She remained startled, blinking at him with uncertainty. ‘Don

Ramon, you scared me,’ she said and her voice was breathless. She placed her hand about her neck as if attempting to loosen the clamp that had taken hold of it.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. I didn’t know you were here,’ he lied.

‘I can do your room later,’ she said, dropping the sheet and walking around the bed towards him with the intention of leaving.

‘Yes, you can do it later,' he replied, stopping her from going by grabbing her upper arm. She gasped. He then placed both hands on her arms and pushed her up against the wall. Her breasts heaved expectantly. He noticed a bead of sweat cling to the soft skin that formed the valley between them. He placed his finger there and lifted it off her body.

‘Are you nervous?’ he said, his dark eyes studying her anxious face.

‘You’re married,’ she replied foolishly.

‘Only in name, Estella. Only in name,’ he said regretfully. Then he lowered his lips and brushed them softly across hers. She swallowed to release the tension that made her throat ache and closed her eyes. He kissed the moist skin of her neck, running his tongue up towards her ear. It tasted salty and smelt of

roses. His hands found the bottom of her uniform and crept up inside it, his fingers tracing the soft curve of her thighs and hips. She caught her breath. Overwhelmed by the force of his charisma she felt her body go limp and surrender to a will far greater than hers. Moments such as these were the stuff of dreams and she was determined to steal her pleasure because tomorrow it might be gone. The bristle of his chin on her neck distracted her momentarily so that when his mouth fell on hers she realized his fingers were playing with the edge of her panties and caressing the damp skin of her upper thighs. When his tongue began to explore the smooth interior of her mouth she lost herself completely. His fingers pulled her panties aside and found the core of her longing where she ached to be touched. They remained pressed against the wall, their breathing heavy and in unison, their hot bodies bathed in each other’s sweat. His fingers felt the velvet of her most tender places and he enjoyed watching her eyelids flutter like butterflies as she abandoned herself to his caresses.

He laid her on the bed and lifted her dress over her head to reveal even brown skin and generous breasts. He had seen her body in his fevered dreams; it didn’t disappoint him in reality. He gently slipped off her underwear and gazed upon her bare sensuality with appreciation. She opened her eyes and looked up at him dazed with pleasure, her eyelids heavy and half closed. She was no longer shy or ashamed. She lay wantonly, waiting for him to do with her whatever he wished. He scrambled out of his shirt and shorts and stood before her, showing her the full glory of his naked body. She allowed her eyes to linger on it admiringly. Her face was aflame and her lips stung crimson from his kisses. She was beautiful and her beauty lifted him out of the misery of his marriage and he bathed in it and forgot himself.

When they lay entwined on the half-made bed, illuminated by the shimmering sunlight that crept in through the shutters Estella had closed to keep the room cool, Ramon felt the satisfied aching of his loins and the slowing thud of his heartbeat. He looked down at her burning face and long ebony hair that spread out across his chest in a glossy fan. She noticed him looking at her and smiled contentedly. He ran his hand up and down her naked back, his fingers playing with the bumps on her spine absentmindedly. Most women he wanted to get rid of the minute he was finished with them, but there was something warm about Estella. He wanted her to stay.

‘You’re very nice to lie on,’ he said at last.

Estella felt drunk with love. Thank you, Don Ramon,’ she replied, wanting the afternoon to last for ever. She could hear his heartbeat in his large chest and feel his hair against her face. He was soft and warm to lie on too. She wanted to tell him but in spite of their physical closeness she knew they were oceans apart by the very nature of their places in the world and cautioned herself against speaking out of turn.

Federica rode the little pony up and down the beach. Helena even let her trot by herself while she led Hal’s pony by the reins. Papudo was a pretty fishing village overlooking the sea, nestled at the foot of hazy blue mountains. Mariana bought them ice creams while Ignacio sat in the shade of the eucalyptus trees drinking coffee and guarding Federica’s precious butterfly box while he played Solitaire. Helena had enjoyed lunch in Zapallar, the children had enchanted them all with their innocent conversation and laughter and she had barely thought about Ramon.

Federica hadn’t stopped thinking about Ramon. She missed him. She had wanted him to watch her riding and remembered how he had once built her the prettiest castle in the sand decorated with white petals and shells. When they piled back into the car to drive home for tea she felt her spirits rise with the thought of seeing him again.

Ramon made love to Estella for the second time. She was a delicious feast and there were parts of her he hadn’t yet tasted. Once he had satisfied his lust and his curiosity he pulled her laughing and protesting into the shower where they reluctantly allowed the water to wash away all traces of their adultery. It was only when he towelled himself dry that he looked at his watch. It was late afternoon. They would be back any minute. He told Estella to go and change her uniform that was creased and stained with sweat. She panicked when she saw the state of the room and thought of all the chores left undone that might expose her. But Ramon wandered out onto the terrace where he sat in the sunshine, picked up his father’s book and began to read with a contented expression softening his rugged face.