THE CALLAHANS (A Mafia Romance): The Complete 5 Books Series (25 page)

Stacy

I wasn’t sure what he would do when he came into the bedroom. But when he fell to his knees…my heart broke.

This big, powerful man was awed by my gesture. What did that say about him? What did it say about me?

Was I really sure I wanted to do this? No. But when he touched me, there was no doubt in my responding touches.

He was in no hurry. His kisses lingered in a way no one else’s ever had. I was not the most experienced girl in the world. There’d been boys—there’d always been boys—but never anyone I wanted this close. Even Davis. I was hurt by the actions of my biological parents. It was hard for me to allow anyone close. Davis broke through those walls, but we were still working on some of my issues. He was patient—maybe not as patient as I might have liked, but patient enough. We were so close, and I really loved him. He was my whole world.

How could I do this?

How could I not do this?

My head spun when Killian kissed me. There was power in his kiss, but there was also a gentleness that made me feel a sense of security I’d never known before.

I wrapped my arms around him, tugging him as close to me as I could get him. His hands slipped under the blanket, one palm so large that he could cup my ass and still have room for more. His fingers were long enough that I could feel them seeking out private places that had been so rarely touched before this moment. He held one of my breasts, not squeezing or molesting it as I’d come to expect from a man, but simply holding it, rolling the nipple against his palm. I couldn’t help the moan that slipped from between my lips. I loved the way it felt. I loved the gentleness mixed with eroticism. I was wild at the thought that this kind of physical pleasure actually existed in the real world, not just between the pages of some cheap romance novel.

I tugged at his shirt, needing to feel the warmth of him, to feel his skin against mine. After a few desperate tugs, he pulled back and lifted it over his head, exposing a chest that was like something out of a Hollywood movie. Tattoos I didn’t know he had were scattered across his bare pecs. I touched one, but he tugged my hand away, capturing it under his own as he returned to my mouth, as he invaded me again, touching me in all these sensitive places I didn’t know I possessed.

His muscles moved and pulled in his back, strong and ropy, so full of power that I could almost feel it vibrating under my hands. He pushed my knees apart with his own knee, laying against me, his erection hard as steel underneath the pliable denim of his jeans. My heart leapt into my throat when I felt it, a familiar fear building in my chest. But he didn’t force me to touch him, and he didn’t force himself against me. He didn’t do anything but continue to touch me with that gentle touch. After a moment, my heart moved back to where it belonged, and my fingers began to wander almost of their own accord.

His mouth, his lips that were so much softer than I ever imagined a man’s lips could be, moved over my chin. He nibbled at my throat again almost as though my neck was the best tasting thing he’d ever had. And then he was sucking at my nipples like a babe at the breast, the sensation driving through my body straight to my lower belly, creating this sensation of need, of primal desire, that I’d never known before. I arched my back, a low moan like nothing I’d ever heard before making its way out of my throat.

And then he was moving lower over my body and I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I was no longer in my bedroom, no longer doing something I couldn’t have imagined myself consenting to just a week ago, a few days. But then…
oh, my God!

If I’d known…

He knew what he was doing. I was lost, falling deeper and deeper into territory I’d never walked before. But he knew what he was doing, and he was so incredibly good at it. His tongue against my clit, his fingers sliding inside of me…I wanted to scream, but I was afraid to voice my pleasure for fear that he would stop. I was afraid to move because he might stop. I gripped the bedsheet beneath me, tearing at it, biting my lip so hard that I was pretty sure I might have tasted blood.

So good!

The orgasm took me by surprise. I’d never had one come over me so quickly, so unexpectedly. There was always a warning, a tightening in my belly. But not this time. It washed through me, turning my vision dark. I did cry out then, unable to control it any longer. I lost track of him until he was just there, his body heavy and warm against mine, his ass heavy and full under my hands. He reached between our bodies, and a little clarity washed over me as I felt the head of his cock press against me.

I’d never gone this far before. Fear again slid through me, quickly, gripping me with icy fingers I hadn’t been prepared for. My body stiffened. Killian must have felt it because he brushed the hair out of my face.

“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered, as he stared into my eyes. “I won’t hurt you.”

I knew it was true. I knew Killian would never voluntarily hurt me. In that moment, I just knew.

He reached between us again, guiding himself to me. I closed my eyes and waited, the pleasure of my passing orgasm still rolling through me, dancing on my nerves like the lingering notes of a well-written song. I felt his head press against me and felt the resistance of my body. And then he was sliding inside, my own excitement lubricating the way. It wasn’t quite like I’d expected it to be. I’d always been told there’d be pain. But there was also this connection between him and I that was almost surreal, this tremor of ecstasy that overshadowed everything. And when I opened my eyes and watched the pleasure dance over his face, watched his eyes roll back in his head, watched him bite his bottom lip…it was intense.

He slid his hand over my hip and lifted me to him, encouraging me to move with each and every thrust. We found a rhythm quickly, a rhythm that was ours and ours alone. I slid my feet up along the backs of his thighs, lifting my hips as high as I could, taking him as deeply as I could. There was no stopping the moans anymore, but mine were overwhelmed by his. And then that tightness in my lower belly, that sensation I knew meant the end of the wave was coming, rolled over me. Was it possible to feel so good? To feel so much ecstasy and not explode? Clearly it was.

He pressed his face against the mattress when he reached his pinnacle. I held him, pulling him as close to me as I could. We clung to each other, the moment passing much too quickly. But when it was over, he didn’t let me go. He gathered me against him as he rolled onto his side, cradling me tight against his chest, his hands moving slowly down the length of my back.

“I love you,” he whispered so quietly that I wasn’t quite sure I’d heard him right. But then he said it again. “I love you.”

Killian

“And this one?”

I looked down, lifting her hand so I could see which tattoo she was pointing to.

“County jail. I was held for three months last year.”

“What does it mean?”

I lifted her hand to my mouth. “Aren’t there other things you’d rather talk about?”

“I hadn’t realized you’d gone to jail so often.”

“Not so often. I’ve only been to the county jail a few times. Ian served three years in the federal pen.”

“You say that like it’s a badge of honor.”

“It sort of is.”

“Mom didn’t think so. Do you remember when Kyle went to juvie? I thought she would cry herself into an early grave.”

“She was a mom. She didn’t want to see any of her babies hurt.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“That’s a woman thing.”

She sat up and pretended she was going to climb out of the bed. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back down against me.

“That came out wrong,” I said. “You have to understand that the guys we work with when we go on protection runs for Jack’s people are tough guys who grew up on the streets. They didn’t have the money and the privilege we have.”

“You mean Pops has.”

“I mean we have. I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t making chicken scratch at MCorp. And we each have a very generous trust fund, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“I haven’t forgotten. I’m just not sure I want to touch mine because I know it didn’t all come from an honest place.”

“You sound like Mom.”

“She was a good woman.”

“A good woman who turned a blind eye to what Pops was doing because she loved him.”

“Do you think people can really do that?” she asked softly. “Love someone enough to forget all the awful things they’ve done?”

“I do.”

She was quiet for a long moment, her fingers playing over my chest, over the myriad of tattoos on my chest. I wasn’t proud of my past, but I wasn’t ashamed of it either. It was a part of who I was. It seemed like a waste of time to regret any of it.

“But you think she made a mistake.”

“I think you have to accept the person you’re with. Everything about them. If you don’t, then you can’t be completely intimate with that person.”

“But Mom made it work for twenty-five years.”

“But can you imagine what their private time alone together was like? They couldn’t talk about the one thing that occupied almost all of Pops day, his thoughts, his worries. What kind of marriage doesn’t allow both people to share the things that are most important to one or the other?”

“Spies manage to make marriages work.”

“Not always.” I slid my arm around her and tugged her closer to me. “I don’t like secrets. I wouldn’t want secrets between me and the woman I’m sharing my life with.”

“What if those secrets could hurt you?”

“I don’t care. You can’t make a relationship work with secrets.”

She was quiet again, hardly moving except where her fingers continued to dance over my tattoos. I took her hand and pressed it against my lips before moving it to my shoulder. I ran my fingers down the length of her arm, watching the goose bumps appear over her smooth flesh.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask anything. I just won’t promise to answer.”

“Fair enough.” I kissed her forehead lightly. “You and Davis…” She stiffened before the words even came fully out of my mouth. I rolled into her, pressed my lips to her throat. She began to relax again, moaning softly as I slid my hand over her hip and moved lower over her chest, teasing a nipple with the tip of my tongue.

She sighed, sliding her fingers through my hair.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said, sliding back up to study her face. “I have a place in Connecticut.”

“You do?”

I shrugged. “It’s always good to have a place where you can escape when you need to. It’s just a little farmhouse on a bit of property.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

I jumped off the bed and started to dress before she could change her mind. She laughed as she watched me, the laughter changing the look of her face. It smoothed the hard lines of her jaw and brought a light to her eyes. And then she climbed off the bed, hobbling over to the closet to get some clothes.

“You should let me look at your foot.”

She glanced back at me. “Later. Let’s just get out of here.”

She grabbed a duffle bag and threw some things into it before sliding on a pair of jeans. I sat on the edge of the bed and watched, finding it difficult to keep my eyes off of her. The way she moved, the way she made this funny little sound when she tugged her shirt over her head…she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever known. If this was all I got, it would be enough.

She came over to me and climbed into my lap.

“What are you staring at?”

“You.”

“Why?”

I ran my hands over her jaw and pressed my fingers into her hair, turning her head just right.

“Because I can’t get enough of you. Because I’ve wanted this for so long that it feels almost surreal to have it become a reality. Because I love you.”

“How can you say that? We’ve been together for all of an hour.”

I shook my head. “No. I’ve been in love with you since you were fifteen. Since that summer after my college graduation.”

Her eyes widened. “You mean—?”

“I stopped coming home because I didn’t want you to know. If we were alone together too much, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hide the way I felt.”

“Killian,” she whispered.

“I told myself it was just a stupid little crush, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And when I saw you when Mom was sick… My mom was dying and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to make things right for you.”

“You did. You made me get out of bed, made me go back to school. You rescued me.”

“I wanted to do more than rescue you. I wanted to take away the grief and the anger that was consuming you.”

She shrugged. “No one can do that but me.”

“I know. But I wanted to.”

She touched the side of my face, the gesture more affectionate than any that’d come before it. “You’re too good to me.”

“I love you.”

To me, it was as simple as that.

She got up and disappeared into the bathroom before returning several minutes later with a toiletry bag all packed and ready to go. We left then, stopping at my place for a moment before going to get my car out of the parking garage where I’d left it for months. It was nice to be behind the wheel of a car again. We were stretching our legs in a way that living in the city rarely allowed.

Stacy turned on the radio and began to sing with the popular pop song that played from it. I watched her so closely that it was a miracle we didn’t wander off the road. Every time she smiled at me, my heart jumped into my throat.

We pulled up to the house, and she stared at it with wide eyes.

“You said it was a small farm house.”

“It is.”

She glanced at me, the expression on her face full of disbelief. She jumped out of the car as soon as it rolled to a stop, staring up at the three-story, wood and brick structure. She stepped up onto the porch and ran her hand over the railings that had become smooth from the touch of the dozens of families who’d come before. The house was more than a hundred years old, upgraded and renovated many times, most recently in the months after I bought it. I had the kitchen redone, removing the modern appliances in favor of custom-made appliances that looked like the kind that would have been in this house when it was brand new, but worked like modern appliances. The tile and countertops were also period accurate.

I intended to renovate the whole house, to uncover the original floors and restore the original doors that still hung in many of the rooms. But that would have to come at some point in the future. I didn’t have the time to come up here that I’d hoped I would when I first bought it. But I was pleased to see the excitement in Stacy’s eyes.

“I’ll show you around,” I said, grabbing her hand as I pushed the front door open.

Stacy sighed as she looked around the wide living room, the small sitting room off to one side, the long hallway, and the huge kitchen in the back. “You could do so much with this,” she said, pointing to walls that were still the original clapboard the house was built with. Then she’d point at something else, coming up with things I hadn’t even thought of. She was so excited that it was intoxicating. I led the way upstairs and she was beyond awed by the huge master bedroom that took up almost the entire third floor. She kept walking around it in circles, touching the furniture that was designed to look like antiques, then pausing at the windows to look out over the expanse of property behind it.

“This is the perfect escape.”

“You wouldn’t rather be at the beach or up in the mountains?”

She leaned back against me as I wrapped my arms around her waist. “No. This…it’s beautiful, Killian.”

And it was. The world outside the windows was covered in a light layer of snow. But what was more beautiful was looking at it through the eyes of the woman I loved. I’d imagined how she might respond to this place when I first bought it. But seeing the reality of it, knowing that she was confirming everything I’d known, made it that much better. It reignited my enthusiasm for this place.

“We could renovate it together,” I said against her ear. “I want to restore it to its original glory.”

“There’s so much we could do. Wall paper and floor finishes and the screen doors…”

“Later,” I said, pressing a finger to her lips. “We have a lifetime to do everything that needs to be done.”

“Do we?”

I brushed a piece of hair out her face, letting my finger linger on her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere, Stacy.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I refuse to leave you now that we’re finally together. So the only way we’ll be apart will be if it’s your choice.”

Something floated through her eyes when I said that, something dark. I assumed she was thinking about Davis. I wanted to take those thoughts from her, to take away that whole episode in her life. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want her to hurt anymore, but the only thing I could do was promise her happiness in the future.

I took her hands and led the way to the bed. She hesitated at first, her feet heavy on the woven rug. But then she crawled onto the bed, kicking her shoes off as she went, smiling almost shyly at me as I joined her. I pushed her back against the pillows and ran my hand slowly over the side of her face.

“I will make you happy.”

Her eyes darkened again. “You make a lot of promises for a man who puts himself between trouble and Jack McGuire’s criminals.”

“It won’t be like that forever. Jack will be replaced by someone else, and Pops will no longer be his right-hand man. We’ll get out when Pops does.”

“What if Pops doesn’t?”

“He will. You haven’t seen him with Cassidy. You don’t see the love they share.”

She looked away, anger tensing every muscle in her body.

“Stace…”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She moved against me, molding her body to mine. “I just want to live right here, right now. I don’t want to think about all the things that could happen in the future.”

“Then we won’t.”

I kissed her, losing myself in her almost instantly. She seemed to do the same, her hands exploring my back, my chest, and her body moving most willingly against mine. We moved slowly, taking our time as we removed each other’s clothes. There was no rush, no reason to be in a hurry. I tasted her, running my tongue over every inch of throat, her chest, exploring the peaks and valleys of her ribs, the heavy protrusion of her hips. And then her mouth as I slid inside of her, feeling the tension let go as she responded to the pleasure of our connection.

I watched her face, loving the ecstasy that I saw dance over her pretty features. And when she opened her eyes and focused on me, it all became something much more than just physical pleasure. I was not an inexperienced man, not the kind to go to bed alone if I didn’t want to. But I’d never experienced anything like this. I couldn’t get enough of it, of her. I wanted to feel this for the rest of my life.

As far as I was concerned, this was my future, my past, my everything.