The Captain's Lady (20 page)

Eric forced his shoes to move casually. He pulled up a chair and turned it around so the back faced her, a self-constructed barrier between them, whether to protect her or him, he didn't quite know. Straddling the chair and then leaning over the back of it, he faced her with a smile. “How are you feeling?"

A slight blush colored the rounded cheeks, as she looked up and put a protective hand over the swollen belly. “We're fine.” Eager to explain, she added. “The doctor said I can get up as long as I take it easy. I can even walk around now."

Eric was quick to notice the hopeful gleam in her eyes. “Did he really say that, or are you leaving something out, like when you slipped out and the doctor found you in the passageway?"

Her eyes widened. “I'm sorry about that, I just wanted to get some air. And ... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it. But the doctor really did say I could walk around as long as I take it easy and do nothing strenuous."

"So, do you feel up to a short tour of the ship this afternoon?” The way her eyes lit up, he knew he had his answer.

"Oh, yes.” Her tongue flicked out and feathered the corners of her lips. She flung her feet over the edge, wincing a bit when her bare feet hit the cool floor.

"Wait a second. Let me just make a call. I want to talk to the doc myself and find out exactly what he means by nothing strenuous.” He stood and made his way to the phone, aware all the while of her bright gaze following him.

As he spoke on the phone, he watched her from the corner of his eye. A light pink tinged her cheeks as she smoothed her hand over the borrowed blue shirt and pants. She was a vision of loveliness with the sleeves of the large shirt rolled up and the shirttails bunched about her on the mattress. He stifled a grin as she bent around her tummy to put on the borrowed sneakers. He didn't know where she'd gotten them, but they were better for walking than the thongs she'd worn the other day.

He hung up the phone and clapped his hands. The sharp smacking sound made her jump. “Well, good news and bad, Abby. Doc said no way to a tour of the ship, but a short walk is okay. So we're not going too far. Okay, let's go.” With a secure hold on the back of her elbow, he helped her stand and escorted her to the door, holding it open and then guiding her out.

"Thank you for doing this, it'll be nice to see something outside this room."

The joyful vibrancy in her voice brought a sense of contentment he hadn't experienced in years. Maybe never. To have one person so excited at his presence was something he didn't think he'd ever felt before.

He lead her down the passageway and then through the hatch that opened out onto the deck. “Watch your step. Hang on to my elbow."

The first few steps on deck, with the wind blowing in their faces, he felt her hesitation, and stopped. Looking through her eyes, he remembered his first time on deck: the powerful awareness of the sizeable force surrounding them, pulsing beneath their feet; the vast miles of ocean as the backdrop.

At her sudden appearance, the crew stirred to attention, earning a steely warning glare from him, which was all it took for them to return to their duties.

"Watch your feet and don't trip.” No sooner were the words out of his mouth when Abby's foot caught on the armor plate around the hatch. It happened so fast; one minute she was stumbling, and the next he had her in his arms. Her own arms flew up and wrapped instinctively around his neck. It was effortless to hold her and this sudden closeness sent his heart thumping. He clenched his jaw and lowered her to her feet to stand before him. Reluctantly, he dropped his hands from around her. Right away, his body mourned the loss of the contact of her body to his.

"You need to be more careful."

"I'm sorry, I just have a hard time seeing over the baby. I haven't been able to see my feet for a while."

The honest and descriptive remark lightened the tension and filled him with inexplicable happiness. He grasped her soft upper arm again, and guided her over to the rail.

Peeking up at the tanned face, she noted the hardness in the solid jaw, focused, intent as he stared off into the distant sea. She followed his gaze out onto the water, the vast emptiness and miles of power. What did he see? His attention was centered on something she couldn't quite pinpoint. At this moment she was pretty sure he was alone in wherever his thoughts had taken him. Abby could not help pick up on the feeling that he was carrying the weight of the world on those broad shoulders.

Those tense, broad shoulders. Even from behind she could see how taut they were, how stiff his spine. Was her presence doing that to him? Maybe she should ask to be brought to the nearest port. What would she do then? After the baby came, she could find a job. Right! In this godforsaken place where she didn't speak the language? What would she do with the baby while she worked to support them? But as soon as the thought came, so did the sick feeling. Memories.

Seyed. Was he here? The chances were very good. This was his territory.

She needed to go back to US soil. It would be the only way she would be safe. Hopefully.

Abby had no idea what she might do when she got there. One thing she did know: it wasn't right to burden this man with her problems. Maybe she could wait and have the baby here, then request they send her back. Yes, that made more sense. She'd tell him when he brought her back to sickbay.

How would he react to her decision? He cared for her; she knew that. The wind whipped across the water and burst against the ship. It flung Abby's hair up and into her face. She brushed it away and held it in a bunch with one hand. The sun was warm and felt good on her face after so long in that closed in room. She lifted her chin and marveled at the clear blue sky. Even with the sounds of everyday ship life going on behind her, it was peaceful here.

Taking a deep breath in, she felt as if the she was gaining strength from the waters below. Scrunching her brows together she was caught up in the picture before her and mesmerized by the stillness. But at the same time she was transported into this powerful sense of
now
. Time stood still, but so did the answers she needed. It became almost too much, the force that seemed to seep into her as she was submerged into something bigger, unexplainable. Then wariness filled every nuance of her along with a flux of knowledge; there would be no forgiveness from these waters. That was clear; mother-nature in this awesome power, was beyond comprehension. You needed to be smart enough, wary for the unexpected, good or bad. Here and now this could restore your depleted energy, or destroy you. It was unexplainable. It hit her then, was this how Eric felt? He had knowledge beyond years. It spoke volumes as it danced in his eyes. Could you tap into it? Was it some shared communion with the sea, an understanding they had together? It was something Abby became aware of in that moment; no matter what happened, this would always be first for him. He and the sea had an unshakable union that could not be broken by one simple woman. They had shared secrets, good and bad, a silent pact. He understood something here she didn't. Watching them both now she realized that with this private link came wisdom; he saw something many didn't.

Though he watched the water, he felt her reveling in the open sea. Did she feel the same things he felt when he looked out over the hundreds of miles of untamed wildness? It had a magical ability to inspire you with the proper respect. Did she understand you didn't take the sea for granted, ever? Or wonder about the mysteries that were secretly hidden—revealed only to those worthy? But she took without mercy as quickly as she gave. He was not the master or the captain of this water; it was the other way around. He listened. He understood what she said. Knew what to expect, to honor it, never challenge it; it was a battle only a fool would take on.

Did Abby see this, too? How wonderful to allow emotions to be displayed so freely. His life was spent hiding emotions, imprisoning them somewhere deep inside.

She appeared to be glowing, coming alive right there on that metal deck, surrounded by dozens of enlisted men. He could not help feeling a sense of loss. But what disturbed him even more was the thought of another man touching her. He couldn't hold back that sick image of Seyed's hands on her, the way he had touched her. He took without asking, from darkness and evil. What did she feel for him? Was it hatred? Indifference? Was it possible there was some unrequited affection?

It was said there was a fine line between love and hate. Add to that a child. A baby contributed to emotions that would otherwise remain buried. Whether she liked it or not, there was a tie, a link that forever bound them. Eric didn't know how to reconcile it. Would he be able to come to peace with this? Or would it soon destroy them?

Would she keep the baby? Or after it was born, would she not want the reminder?

He was being pragmatic, but aware that, one by one, these harsh lessons in each aspect of his life would be resolved, either for or against. He needed to face each one and fix it, one way or the other. Either choose to do it himself or it would be done for him. Abby was a shining beacon that filled a hole inside of him that he was unaware even existed.

Then selfishness eroded his senses. He was suddenly taunted by a flash of her married to someone else, sharing his bed, bearing his children. A surge of blood pounding heated his core. He wanted to kill Seyed, this imaginary man fueling this possessiveness. She was his. But was she? Cold now as the words
guilty, sexual predator
, and
deviant
flashed in his mind, reminders of the imaginary record haunting him. He wanted her to be his, but would not ask. It was not right, not with this painful reminder of the darkness now hanging over him. Besides, what life would it be for her with him at sea all the time?

No, he would leave her safe in Bahrain where she would have the baby. Someone there would see to it that she made it safely back to Seattle. The decision was excruciating, but it was the only way. She deserved better than him.

She tapped his arm. “What?"

"Hmm?"

"You were nodding like you'd made a decision."

"No. Sorry."

He couldn't tell her now. Back in the cabin. That would be the best time. “It was nothing. A captain's mind is always full of thoughts. Decisions to make. Duties to assign. Reports to write."

It was for the best.

So why did it hurt so much?

Looking down, he realized she was shivering. “You're cold.” He laid his hand on the trembling shoulder and she looked up at him. Tears shimmered in those bold blue eyes. Did she know what he'd been thinking? The warm, humid breeze whipped against the ship. If they were on land, leaves would be swirling in eddies about them. Then it dawned on him, the reason for her damp eyes. “You're safe here, you know."

She looked up at him. “Thank you. I know you'll keep me safe. That's not what I'm afraid of, not anymore.” She reached out and touched his chest. The touch was electric; her pulse penetrated his flesh. Then slowly she pulled her hand away and a frown transformed her face.

"What are you afraid of, then?"

Shaking her head, she uttered softly, “It's nothing like that. I know something's going on; you're carrying some heavy burdens I know you don't want me to know, to worry about, but I'm begging you ... please tell me, I want to help ... please."

He was stunned by the words and the plea that was in her velvety voice. He wanted to touch her and sooth the tender cheek but held back, offering only a gentle smile. He was aware they were being watched, his men taking their cue from him, their leader. Taking a step back, he said, “It's time to go back. I promised the doc I wouldn't keep you out here long. You need to go back in and rest before dinner.” He surprised himself by what came out next. “Would you like to join me for dinner tonight? We'll eat with the officers, in the wardroom."

She beamed at the unexpected invitation. She was very aware of the deliberate evasion of the question, but was overcome with the opportunity to spend more time with him; she gave a hurried nod, allowing the wide smile to flourish. “Yes, I would love to have dinner with you tonight.” She crooked her head to look up at him, pledging to herself that she would pin him down later tonight. Somehow, she would find a way to get him to tell her.

Grinning back in amusement he guided her back inside. The pride glowed as he spoke of this new warship. “She's able to hit targets deep inland if needed, with pinpoint accuracy, at anytime, anywhere, under any conditions.” His voice softened with love and joy for his ship. He guiding her gently, with his hand on her lower back.

He promised a tour of the bridge another day. But right now he knew she was done-in. Even though he wanted to continue on all night long, show her everything he loved here, it would keep. Most important was her health. They had already pushed the limit with her walking. The doc's reminder to take it easy prompted him to end it now; she needed to rest.

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Chapter Twenty-Four

Eric didn't bother knocking on the door; he just opened it and strode inside. With a wide grin, Abby practically leaped from the bed.

"Are you ready for dinner?"

"Yes, I think all that fresh air worked up my appetite."

He strode toward her, powerless at the sight of her, all swollen with child. She was lovely, even with the bruises still on her face; the radiance of that smile and the pink glow in her cheeks was enough to light up the room. Taking her arm, Eric guided her out the door.

When they entered the wardroom where all the officers gathered for dinner, a momentary silence fell as all eyes focused on Abby. Eric sensed her tightening up and her fingernails dug into his arm. She must have felt as if she were on display. He directed a stern look at Joe, and the first officer took control. He used his own stern glance to send the officers back to their meals.

As he guided Abby to the middle of the table, he pulled out the empty chair beside his, and then helped this lovely woman ease into her chair. Since they had ordered the meals earlier, once they were seated their two meals were placed in front of them by the seaman on duty.