The Captain's Lady (23 page)

Eric carried the bundle to Abby. She began crying when she saw the tender way he looked at her baby girl. What did he see? Was it pity for how she was conceived? Or hope for the tiny girl's future?

He placed the baby in Abby's arms and gently wiped away her tears. “She's her mother's image, a beautiful girl."

This moment was surreal as she focused on the baby. All her emotions converged. She loved her she knew that, but found herself searching the infant's face for resemblance of Seyed. The tiny nose, the shape of the chin, the swatch of dark hair. But what Abby saw was her grandmother's nose, and maybe her own eyes. Then something connected inside; she was a human being, however she was created. She needed Abby to protect and care for her. Then, as new parents are rumored to do, Abby counted toes and fingers. So lost in studying this child, she was warmed by Eric's movement beside her. Looking up at him, she reached for his hand with her free one and brought it to her cheek. He gave a gentle squeeze to her hand then placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Abby, we're not quite done,” said the doctor. “I need you to give a little push to deliver the placenta. That's it.” She groaned. “I know it hurts, but we're almost done. There's a small tear ... doesn't look like you need any stitches."

While the doctor cleaned up, Eric strode to the locker and brought more blankets to cover her. Larry came to stand at her head, smiling down at the baby girl. “Abby, I need to take her away for just a minute, to check her out."

She tried to sit up and winced. Larry must've caught it out of the corner of his eye. “Abby, just let me finish with your daughter and then I'll get you something for the pain."

Eric interceded by pushing her back down on the bed. He eased down beside her, stroking the sweaty hair from her face. “Just lay there and rest. You've done enough for right now."

"Have you got a name for this girl yet?” the doctor asked.

"Rachel. I've always loved that name."

Eric smiled. “That's a beautiful name, just like her mother's."

The doctor handed Rachel to the captain while he reached into the bag for some Ibuprofen. He took out two and gave them to Abby along with a glass of water, which he helped himself to in the outer office. Larry helped her sit up, so she could accept the medication, then he piled more pillows behind her.

Eric was holding the baby, studying that tiny face with such a look of awe. Abby watched him and the connection that grew before her eyes, between him and the baby. Then she wondered if it was just her imagination.

The ache to hold her again returned in a flourish; there was something magical she never expected. It was a bond linking them together. Then confusion swarmed around her, questions of how a mother could just walk away from her child. An ache and bitterness filled her, thoughts of her own mother who had left her. A fierce possessiveness consumed her; she could never abandon or give up this child. No matter what happened. She and Rachel belonged together.

"Okay, we should probably get them moved back to sickbay."

Eric shook his head. “No, just leave them here for the night. Please, just make sure we get some dry bedding and something for the baby to sleep in."

"I'll take care of it right now. I'll be right back."

After the bedding had been changed and Abby settled comfortably in bed, Larry spoke briefly to her about getting the baby on her breast to nurse right away. Then with a backward glance at Eric and a quick nod, he took his leave.

Eric sat beside her, placing Rachel safely in her mother's arms. “I think she's hungry."

"I don't know how to do this."

He laughed, leaned forward, and caressed the soft cheek. “It's the most natural thing in the world. You were born for this. Your breasts were meant to feed and nurture a child."

He reached down and unbuttoned her shirt, exposing her luscious, plump breasts that appeared to fill with milk as he watched. Abby got Rachel positioned and after a few tries, got her latched on. The baby suckled away. Abby looked up in awe, smiling, her eyes damp with a light of joy dancing in them.

Swept away, he was unable to remember ever feeling such utter bliss in his entire life. Lowering his head he touched her lips with his. Their breaths mingled as the heat gently teased her lips, so lightly, a kiss so soft and full of promise.

She held his gaze when he pulled back for just a moment. It appeared to be filled with honesty and promise. Then she looked back down at Rachel. Eric felt the tightening squeeze within his heart at the sight of Rachel nursing. It was beautiful to see the bond so instinctively created. The mood between them was blissful and welcome, nothing awkward. Being here together like this was enough for both of them. Tears stung his eyes as the reality of what just happened took root. Musing at this miracle, such a beautiful creature, created out of something so dark and ugly. Then this fierce protectiveness crept in, a stark realization that this small bundle deserved and would have every chance offered her. The bond he felt, even though she was not his, brought the reality of the situation home. There was no commitment, only whispered promises and a shroud of darkness hanging over his head, which threatened all possible plans.

The sound of the cabin door opening, and then low voices, jarred Eric from his deep thoughts. Standing up, he gave Abby's shoulder a gentle squeeze before going out to the office. He directed Larry to lay the bedding on the couch, while taking the makeshift crib, a steel drawer, from Petey. “Thanks Petey, that'll be all."

The young ensign pulled the door closed behind him. Eric shook his head in mock surprise at the ingenuity of the drawer. It was perfect. In the bedroom, he placed it on the floor between the night table and wall, first checking to make sure it was secure against any sudden movements the ship would make.

Hearing the doc's heavy tread, he stood as Larry approached Abby's side and watched her nurse the baby. “It looks like you got the hang of it.” He turned to Eric. “I'll be back in the morning to check on them. Call me if you need me before that."

"Will do, Doc."

Rachel fell asleep and slipped off her breast. Snuggling her, the love she was unable to contain beamed out from that magical smile as Abby tearfully looked up at Eric standing by her side. Suddenly she felt vulnerable and exposed and tried to cover her breast with the borrowed shirt, trying not to awaken Rachel while clumsily pulling it closed. The weariness ached in her and she longed to sleep, but for the moment did not want to relinquish the bond, this connection, she had with her beautiful baby.

Eric took the sleeping Rachel from her arms with the practiced ease of an experienced father. He appeared so confident in his abilities to nurture; it astonished Abby. She brimmed with absolute respect for this powerful man and this uncharacteristic, maternal trait. As he laid the babe in the makeshift cradle and swaddled the tiny bundle, Abby felt her eyes begin to droop, fighting a losing battle as weariness set in.

Eric smoothed back the damp blonde hair with the back of his hand, then leaned down, caressing a gentle kiss upon her forehead. He straightened up and covered her with the blanket, snug and secure. He waited, watching over her for a just a moment while she drifted contentedly to sleep and her breathing slowed and grew steady.

So as not to disturb Abby or the baby, he strode over to the desk, looking at the stack of files deserted in a rush when Abby arrived at the door a few hours earlier. Sitting wearily in the soft leather chair, he stacked the few reports into a pile, then opened his side drawer and dropped them inside. He locked it with the keys he carried in his pocket.

Eric leaned back in the chair, propped his feet on the desk, and crossed them at the ankles. He vowed to close his tired, strained eyes for just a moment. He pressed a thumb and forefinger to his temples before crossing his arms and resting them behind his head. Images circled in his mind: Abby, Rachel, Abby and Rachel. Where had such sudden paternal feelings come from? Not just the ones toward the baby, but the feelings for Abby, that of a husband and protector. He wished it were possible for them to be a family, and have this whole nightmare of Seyed and Gail go away. Daring to hope such happiness would reveal itself to him, he drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

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Chapter Twenty-Seven

A sharp rap on the door roused Eric. Drained, he blinked a few times before realizing where he was. Disturbed by this disorientation, he gave his head a drowsy shake, while mentally chastising himself at the dangers of becoming that slow-witted. Bolting up, he leaped to the door before they banged again, not wanting the disruption to wake Abby and the baby in the next room.

Petey stood on the other side holding a tray of breakfast and coffee. Motioning for him to be quiet, Eric directed him to put it down on the desk. “Thanks, Petey. Can you please get another tray for Abby? I'm sure she'll be hungry when she wakes up."

"Yes, Captain.” His reply was quiet and unruffled.

The soft click of the door was a gentle nudge. He chuckled softly that his request hadn't surprised Petey in the slightest. He blinked his attention back, grimacing at the reality of the situation. By now everyone on the ship probably knew that Abby was in his cabin; the gossip was deplorable. Nothing could happen on a ship this size without everyone knowing about it. A tiny cry from the other room alerted him that Rachel was awake. He hurried to the door and walked in as Abby was struggling to get up.

"What time is it?” she muttered groggy.

"It's 0630.” Bending over, he lifted Rachel with nurturing care and held the tiny infant in his arms as she wailed pitifully for her breakfast. As he crossed the room, he breathed in the newborn scent of this innocent bundle, and comforted her with soothing words. He placed the child in her mother's arms.

Pulling the chair over to the bed, he was fascinated as Rachel sought out and latched on to Abby's round breast. She allowed her long mussed hair to fall over her shoulder, peering down as she awkwardly pulled the gray bedding blanket up to cover what she could of herself. Her cheeks glittered with a hint of pink, but all he saw was the natural essence from the plump breasts that still appeared over the top of the baby's head. He said nothing further to push her morning-after discomfort. “Breakfast is on its way. I hope you're hungry."

Abby offered a shy smile. “You know, I don't remember ever being so hungry."

Enchanted, he reached over and put his hand on Rachel's head, touching the soft dark hair that lightly covered it. “Well I'm not surprised, you had a busy night."

He watched her as she appeared hesitant at first then looked around the room, eyes wide as if seeing it now for the first time. He looked to see what she saw, from the double-size bed that took up half the room to the nightstand beside the bed and private bathroom. The walls were bare; the room was impersonal, no pictures or anything.

"I'm sorry to put you out of your bed. Where did you sleep ... did you
get
any sleep?"

"Don't worry about me. I've spent more nights sleeping in my chair than I can count."

A knock on the outer door alerted them. Abby tugged the blanket up to completely cover her.

"Enter!” Eric called out, as he got up, and strode through the bedroom door to his office. “Thanks, Petey."

"Will there be anything else, Captain?"

"No that'll be all. I'll let you know if we need anything."

He carried the tray back into her. She looked up beaming, then lowered her eyes to gaze upon her baby. He was swept away by a sense of awe for this gift and miracle of life. Rachel was innocent and, if he had his say, would never be tainted by her conception.

He set the tray on a nearby table and watched Rachel drift off to sleep. He reached down and picked her up. “I'll hold her while you eat.” Eric looked like a pro holding the baby; cradling her in one arm, he placed the tray on Abby's lap.

She ate her breakfast like a starving man, shoving the eggs in her mouth as if she had not eaten in a week.

"Slow down, you're going to give yourself indigestion."

Her cheeks puffed out, eyes dancing as she chewed, then drank some coffee to wash it down.

Eric went to retrieve his own breakfast. Choosing to leave the tray behind, he made two trips while carrying Rachel, first his coffee then the breakfast-laden plate. He placed both on the nightstand by the bed. “Do you want me to take her so you can eat?” Abby offered, putting down her fork to reach out.

"No, she's good. You eat. I'll manage."

He ate leaning over to the right to take each bite, careful not to jostle the baby. Afterward, he returned Rachel to Abby's’ loving arms. He removed her breakfast tray, heaping his plate on top, then carrying them out to his office. He was just placing them on the desk when a quick rap on the door interrupted him.

Larry appeared with a smug Joe following behind. Both appeared to be bearing gifts, or was it supplies they had managed to gather for Abby and the baby? Crooking his eyebrow up in a silent question, he waved them inside.

"How is she this morning?” Larry asked.

Unable to keep the silly grin of a new father off his face, he gestured with his thumb toward the bedroom. “She's awake and fine; they both just ate."

A cursory glance at the supplies showed some clothes and blankets and he was not sure what else as both men set them down on the couch.

"Diapers Abby can use for the baby until we can get some supplies.” The doctor held up a cloth square resembling a dishtowel. Then he flashed a smile and strode to the bedroom taking with him, a handful of cloths and a few other medical necessities. “I need to examine her. When I'm done we can make arrangements to move them back to sickbay."

"No, just leave them for now."

Larry stopped mid-stride just outside the door and turned around. “As long as you're sure, Captain. It would be better not to move them right now anyway.” He continued into the bedroom.

Eric faced Joe, whose eyebrows cocked. Eric could just imagine the question floating on the tip of his tongue,
Just what the hell do you think you're doing?
Wanting nothing more than to toss his friend out the door, he held the flat of his hand up to stall the expected line of questioning.