The Cartel (26 page)

“I want to talk to you about something important,” Carter stated. He didn’t wait for Miamor to respond. “I’m into you, Miamor, but there are some things that you don’t know about me, or about my family.”

I know all I need to know about your family.
Miamor tried to conceal her hatred behind her eyes.

“Tomorrow is not promised to me right now, ma. My family is at war with some very dangerous people, and I don’t ever want to put you in jeopardy. My father and little brother have already been murdered behind this beef. I’m willing to accept the fact that I could be next, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me. It’s not safe for me to be with you, and believe me, it’s so hard for me to say this to you, but right now is not a good time for this, Miamor. I can’t bring you into my world right now. I would kill a nigga if he ever tried to hurt you. I love you, ma, but I’m no good for you. I have to let you go in order to keep you safe.”

Miamor couldn’t stop the tears from forming in her eyes. It was like his words were medicine to her ailing heart. Her conscience immediately began to turn on her. How could she hurt a man who cared so much about her? She was more than capable of taking care of herself.

Carter didn’t know it, but she was the safest bitch in the city because she would pop a nigga without regret for running up, but just the simple fact that he wanted to take the burden off of her shoulders and protect her himself touched her.

Carter picked up his fork and brought it to his mouth. All she had to do was let him eat the food.

I can’t,
Miamor thought painfully. She stood and swept all of the food off the table in one dramatic motion. “Aghh!” she screamed in agony as she picked up a glass and threw it at the wall in frustration. The glass shattered into tiny pieces, reminding her of how her heart felt the day that she’d held her dead sister in her arms.

“Whoa! Ma, what the fuck you doing, yo?” Carter moved toward her to restrain her temper tantrum.

“I can’t do this.” She shook her head from side to side. The emotional levees in her gave way, and tears built in her eyes.

“Miamor, calm down,” Carter said as he took her into his arms.

“I can’t do it,” she cried as she breathed deeply, trying to contain herself.

Miamor wanted to get back at The Cartel for taking her sister away, but how could she, when her heart and her mind was pulling her in two different directions?

Why in the fuck did he have to tell me he loved me? Why did he have to make it so real?

Her brain felt like it was going to explode. She was playing mental chess with herself. She wanted Carter to be her opponent so desperately so that she could follow the rules of the game and defeat him. She wanted to bag his queen, not be it. She yearned to kill his family, but her heart wouldn’t let her, and she was quickly beginning to realize that her only opponent, the only person standing in her way of her revenge, was herself. Her heart was following a completely different set of rules, rules that were unfamiliar to her. Her heart was begging her to open up and allow herself to feel happiness with a man. To trust a man, to believe in a man … her man, Carter Jones.

The emotions that she felt for him were so foreign to Miamor that they scared her and caused her to question her loyalty. In her world, hesitation never existed. There was no room for it. That was something that could get you murked in her profession. Murdering a nigga had always been simple. Some people were good at math, others good at sports, many good at singing or painting, but Miamor was good at death. When she declared war, she brought it to a nigga’s doorstep without fear, without doubt, but with swagger and expertise. Now her job seemed so complex, and she didn’t know what to do.

How did I let him get this close?
she asked herself.

With her back to the wall, she used it for support and slid down until she felt the floor catch her. She pulled her knees into her chest, put her head down, and held herself as she cried.

Carter hadn’t expected for her to take it this hard and was amazed at her reaction. He hated to see her in pain, but was oblivious to the real reason behind her outrage.
She doesn’t know what the fuck she’s getting herself into,
Carter thought, when in actuality he was the one in unknown territory. He was dancing with the devil by allowing himself to love her.

Carter picked her up and cradled her in his arms as she continued to cry. “Shh, it’s all right, ma. I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

As soon as he spoke the words he knew that he meant them. Dangerous or not, he could not stay away from Miamor. He had never felt a connection like the one he shared with the beautiful woman in his embrace. There was something about her, something that was so forbidden, it made him want her even more.

Miamor knocked on Robyn’s and Aries’ door early the next day. She wore Rock & Republic denims with a Lela Rose top and Christian Louboutin peep-toe pumps. Everything on her body was designer, and worth more than most people’s monthly rent, yet she still felt worthless. Her usually MAC-designed face was as bare as her soul, and her hair was pulled up into a sophisticated bun. She tried to appear as if she was in control, but her red, puffy eyes revealed the truth and gave away the fact that she had cried herself to sleep in Carter’s arms the night before.

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!
Aries opened the door.

“We need to talk,” Miamor stated gravely without even offering a hello. “Is Robyn here?”

“Yeah, I think she in she room. What’s wrong? You crying?” Aries asked in astonishment.

Miamor stormed past Aries and took a seat on their love seat. She placed her Gucci clutch next to her. Her cell phone rang. It was Carter calling her. She knew that he was calling to make sure she was okay. He had stayed the night at her place the night before, but as soon as daylight crept through her curtains, she got up and rushed to see her friends.

She sent him to voicemail and then looked up at Aries. “I can’t do this anymore, Aries. It’s over. This entire plan is done.”

“What?” Aries shouted. “What do you mean, over?

Why? What happened?”

“That nigga done got up in her head, that’s what happened.” Robyn suddenly emerged from her bedroom and leaned against the wall. “Am I right, Miamor? That is why you want to quit, ain’t it?”

“I just can’t do this anymore, Robyn. I can’t do Carter dirty like that.”

“What you mean, you can’t do him like that? Oh, but you don’t have a problem doing us dirty?”

“You’re not the one in his face every day, Robyn. I’m fucking him! I know him, and he doesn’t deserve this. I won’t make him pay for his family’s mistakes. I don’t want to see him hurt. When does it end? I kill him or somebody in his family then they retaliate and kill another one of us. What happens after that? Huh? It doesn’t bring Anisa back!”

“Miamor, he stole your sister from you.”

“Don’t even waste your breath, Aries. She had her mind made up who she was picking as soon as she walked through the door. We don’t need her. We’ll do it ourselves.”

“Shut the fuck up, Robyn! You don’t know shit! It’s over, plain and fucking simple. Don’t nothing move unless I say so! Ain’t shit changed! You know the deal, so stop playing yourself. And don’t pretend that you are all about the crew. You’re in this for the money. This has nothing to do with my sister. Carter has already gotten to Ma’tee. There is no more beef. It’s squashed. The bounty probably ain’t even good anymore, so you ain’t losing nothing. I’m out,” Miamor yelled as she walked toward the door. She knew that she had taken it a little too far by accusing Robyn of not caring for Anisa. It was a low blow, and she knew that it wasn’t entirely true, but her anger had spoken for her.

Miamor was resentful because it was always herself and Anisa that acted as the leaders. Robyn and Aries just followed suit, which meant they always played the back, while Miamor and her sister put themselves in harm’s way. She wasn’t trying to end up in the dirt anytime soon, so she was going to walk away … breathing.

“So that’s it? You gon’ choose him over us after all we’ve been through?”

“What do you want me to do, Robyn? This is it! This shit is a wrap! Aries, if you want to take it the same way, you can. It is what it is. I love you guys. You’re my sisters, but I’m in love with him, Aries. I didn’t mean for it to happen, and I didn’t want to give him my heart, but I did. Yes, his family is responsible for Anisa’s death, but how many people have we brought the same fate? We have to take responsibility for the role we played in this. We all knew it was possible. We just got caught slipping. That is something that I will regret for the rest of my life, but I won’t make him pay for it.”

Miamor stormed out of the house with a heavy heart. She knew that Aries would eventually forgive her, but Robyn would take it as a personal slap in the face. It was possible that their friendship may never be repaired, but it was a chance she was willing to take.

Miamor walked into her home and heard her shower running. She was glad that Carter was still there. After the morning she’d had, she needed him to prove to her that he was worth it. She walked into the bathroom. She pulled back the shower curtain and admired Carter’s toned body as he washed himself. She stepped inside of the shower in her clothes and all then held on to him tightly. She hoped that he wouldn’t make her regret her decision. She was taking a chance on him, trusting someone other than her immediate circle for the first time in her adult life.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You’re getting yourself soaked, ma,” he whispered in protest, yet he never let her go.

Miamor had no regrets. She knew that he was worth the risk. She could feel his love for her even in the way that he held her. Deep inside her heart she knew that he would never hurt her. She just hoped and prayed that she could keep herself from hurting him.

“I could fucking kill her!” Robyn yelled as she paced back and forth for the twentieth time, practically burning a hole in the floor.

“What has gotten into her?” Aries asked. “Love? She’s killed so many people, me didn’t even know she had a heart.”

“Fuck this! I’m about to call this bitch because she is not about to just bail out on the plan. I don’t care if I have to murder her little boyfriend myself—We are finishing this job! She can thank me later for getting rid of her distraction.”

Robyn grabbed the cordless phone off the wall and dialed Miamor’s number. The humming of a cell phone filled the room.

Aries walked over to the couch and picked up Miamor’s purse. She checked inside, retrieved the phone, and threw her hands up in exasperation. “So much for that. She left she damn bag here. We have to get it together because I was depending on the money from the bounty.”

A smirk came across Robyn’s face as she took Miamor’s phone from Aries’ hand. She flipped it open and searched her address book.

“What are you doing?” Aries questioned.

“Finding Ma’tee’s number. If Miamor wants out, that’s fine, but we are going to get this money. It doesn’t matter to me if she’s with it or not. We don’t need her.”

Robyn located Ma’tee’s number and pressed dial. She was determined to finish what they had started. By any means necessary, she was going to get paid and then get out of town.

“Why are you always acting like I don’t matter to you?”

—Breeze

B
reeze walked beside Zyir as they headed to the bodega where a black-owned bookstore was located. They had grown quite fond of each other. Zyir was the only person that Breeze really talked to. Everybody only took her at face value, but Zyir saw through her. He knew her and took the time to actually listen when she talked.

Zyir slowly felt himself growing closer to Breeze. He didn’t want to because he knew that it could possibly cause conflict between him and Carter, but the more time he spent with Breeze, the more important she became to him. They were together twenty-four seven. Carter demanded that Zyir keep her safe, so they stayed side by side.

At first Zyir found her annoying and immature, but once he got to know her, he realized she was inexperienced in the aspects of the street because her family had kept her sheltered. She had never had to think about protecting herself because her father and brothers had always done it for her. Now it was Zyir’s responsibility to ensure her safety, and it was a job he took very seriously, partly because of his duty to Carter, but mostly because of his feelings for Breeze Diamond.

Day in and day out, they rocked with each other, building a solid friendship, even though they both knew they would take it to the next level if and when the time was right. They agreed to keep their friendship under wraps until they could figure out a way to tell Carter.

Since losing Monroe and sending Mecca away, Carter had been extra strict with and overprotective of Breeze. Zyir kept one hand near his waistline, the other wrapped around Breeze’s shoulder, as he leaned into her.

Breeze whispered in his ear, “You need to quit fronting, acting like you don’t want me to be your girl.” She kissed the side of Zyir’s face lightly.

Zyir smiled and rubbed his chin. Breeze wasn’t as innocent as she looked, and he enjoyed her mystique. “I told you, ma, I like things like they are right now. We’re cool as is. I’m not tryin'-a disrespect my man Carter by coming at you. You’re his baby sister. You already know how he feels about that.”

Breeze grabbed his hand that was draped around her and kissed it lightly. “I don’t care how Carter feels about us. And how do you know he will trip? He will probably be glad I’m messing around with you instead of one of these other dudes out here.”

“I just know, a’ight. I know Carter. I can see it in his eyes when the nigga see us together. It wouldn’t be a good look for us right now,” he said seriously. “You know how I feel about you, ma, but unfortunately for us, it ain’t in the cards.”

Breeze stopped walking and put her hands on her model-thin waist. “Zyir …”

“What up,
B?”
Zyir stopped walking, preparing himself to be sucked in by her charm. Zyir was usually so focused on his money, but Breeze was a constant and pleasant distraction from his everyday grind. He was constantly molding her, transforming her from a shallow little rich girl to an intelligent young woman. The beauty had always been present, and if it was up to him, he would have definitely made her wifey. If only it were up to him.