The Case of Lisandra P. (24 page)

2ND FLOOR

not pretty and I don't know why I'm naughty he could do this to me and make me believe I'm his
favorite
if he'd been older at least he would have given me candy before or afterward maybe before or afterward he would have said I was a princess his princess so pretty with my pretty hair my pretty eyes my pretty smile but Lucas is only fifteen and he hasn't yet reached the age where you try and hide your vice under candy under caresses under being nice he's only fifteen that's an age when you're still pulling wings off flies and if anyone says that at fifteen you can't hurt a fly well I know what they are going through those flies and it's not nice being a fly in Lucas's hands Lucas does this to me because I deserve it he does it and if I tell anyone for sure no one will believe me for sure everyone will call me a liar and worst thing of all my parents will die if I tell my parents they will die there on the spot and afterward I'll be alone all alone all alone once again these memories these images come back to me the door to the corridor the stairs the room

GROUND

That is her final image. Lisandra's body hits the ground. She dies instantly. Lisandra does not feel her high heels piercing her ankles. Her thighbones splintering. Her hips breaking. She
doesn't feel her body bounce. The back of her skull hitting the ground. Shattering. She doesn't feel her blood spreading all through her. Outside her veins. Lisandra doesn't feel her body bounce one last time. She doesn't feel her hair fanning all around her head. Her blonde hair that doesn't seem to match her complexion. Lisandra doesn't know that Lucas will never be convicted. That the morning after Eva Maria's phone call he moved away and from now on he'll be living a low-profile sort of life, fearful of another call about
the woman with the two porcelain cats.
Lisandra doesn't know that an innocent man will be imprisoned. For the love of his mother. Who will be his again at last. As the weeks go by, Eva Maria will not miss a single visit to Estéban in prison. Lisandra doesn't know that Vittorio will have a child. With another woman. That it will be a little girl. And that he will call her Lisandra. And that little girl—one can only hope that no one will ever touch her.

The American version of this novel owes everything to Patrick Nolan, who not only reads and defends my work but also trusts me as an author. I am deeply grateful for this. I would like to express my gratitude to Lindsey Schwoeri, who went through great pains to take care of both the form and content of my work for even the smallest details. It goes without saying but still deserves to be mentioned: a translation would never exist without the translator, so thank you, Alison Anderson. Last but not least: thank you to Chrissie McDonald, who made working with this wonderful team possible, without ever having to worry about a language barrier.

This book would never have existed without the vital contribution of Charlotte Liébert-Hellman; without Teresa Cremisi, who placed her trust in me from the start; without Alicia d'Andigné, who followed its development with great sensitivity; or without her ally Anavril Wollman.

My thanks to Bertrand de Labbey for taking me under his wing.

Thanks to my Love who has accompanied me with such intelligence along the chaotic path that is writing. Thanks to Léonard, because his intrusions into my study will be the most
beautiful images I retain of my time at work. Thanks to my parents and my brother, steadfast pillars of support. Thanks to my lovely stepchildren who have learned how to fill such a significant place in my life. Thanks to Marine Autexier and to my friends who know so well how to be present, now and always. Thanks to Brigitte Rouillon, precious assistant. Thanks to Ludy and Elsie, everyday angels.

The “Miguel” session owes a great deal to the testimony of Miguel Ángel Estrella, and I thank him for his willingness to add his voice to those who chose to speak (
Gueule d'ange
, by Tristan Mendès France, Éditions Favre, 2003, and
D'encre et d'exil 5: Buenos Aires–Paris, allers-retours
, Éditions de la Bibliothèque publique d'information, Centre Pompidou, 2006).

Thanks to Lucía V., my Argentinian
eye
. To Stéphane Durand-Souffland, my legal
eye.

Because death so sadly is part of life, I also dedicate this book to the memory of Françoise Cachin and Isabelle de Roux Revay, who disappeared too soon.

*
A type of accordion typical to Argentina.

*
On March 24, 1976, a military coup d'état imposed a dictatorship on Argentina. The junta, led by General Rafael Videla, was responsible for the torture and murder of thirty thousand people during its years in power. On October 30, 1983, democracy was restored with the election of Raúl Alfonsín.

*
The
desaparecidos
—the “disappeared”—were the victims of forced disappearance, secretly arrested and killed in Argentina during the “dirty war.” The military, wanting to conceal its acts of violence, claimed that these people had simply left Argentina.

*
A traditional caffeinated infusion drunk in South America, made from the leaves of the yerba maté shrub.

*
ESMA: Escuela Superior de Mecánica de la Armada (Navy Petty-Officers School of Mechanics). This military school was the largest of the 340 detention centers used by the Videla dictatorship; over five thousand people were tortured and murdered there.

*
Raúl Alfonsín, the Argentinian president behind the two laws on impunity, the Full Stop Law (
Punto Final
) and the Law of Due Obedience.

*
“Believe me, there are a lot of so-called
desaparecidos
living very well in Paris, London, New York, or Washington.” These were General Videla's words to brush off the thousands of
desaparecidos
massacred by his regime.

*
The underprivileged class in Argentina.

*
A famous Chilean guitarist who was abducted and assassinated under the Chilean dictatorship.

*
Argentinian card game.

*
Lyrics to the tango “A media luz” (Edgardo Donato and Carlos Lenzi, 1924).

*
Lyrics to the tango “Las cuarenta” (Francisco Gorrindo and Roberto Grela, 1937).

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