The Christmas Light (13 page)

“I told you it wouldn’t help,” Avery says, keeping her voice low.

Jen’s throat is full as she keeps her eyes on the road. “But it did help.”

*   *   *

Ray Elhart stands on the side of the tractor as his seventeen-year-old grandson, Micah, drives it toward a group of evergreens. “Those there,” Ray says over the sound of the engine. “Those are small enough that we can ball and bag them.” Some customers liked to replant the tree after Christmas so they need to dig up the root ball. “Since there’s only six days until Christmas, let’s just dig five and we’ll need to cut at least another fifteen for the lot.” Ray and Micah move to the wagon behind the tractor and reach for shovels, the chain saw, burlap sacks, and rope. As he lifts the sacks from the wagon, something catches Ray’s attention in a group of trees to his left.

“How about this one, Grandpa?”

Ray is distracted, walking to the trees.

“Grandpa?”

He turns to see Micah standing by a tree, ready to dig. “That one’s great!” Ray pulls the knit cap farther down on his head as he reaches for a wad of deflated balloons, tangled among the branches of one of his evergreens. He pulls the mess of strings and flimsy balloons from the tree and begins to twist and smash them together, when he notices an envelope. He turns it over to the front: “For Daddy.” He opens the envelope and pulls out a blue piece of stationery, a letter written in a child’s handwriting.

Der Daddy

ive mist you so muc sins you went uway

Mommy sez you ar in hevin and you cant come back but sez you ar happy up ther. I trid to col you but you cant her the fon. i wus mad at you for leving but Mommy sez you wud hav stad if you cud

I wont you to no I miss you evre day and I love you ol the tim.

Mommy kriz a lot when she fenks i cant see becoz she missus you to. you ar a grat dad and I hav yor piktur by my bed when you and me ar lafing on my brthday.

I am in frst grad and me and Mommy hav a crismis tree. I hop an angl givs you this and a hug and a kiss.

i love you i love you i love you

Avery

Ray opens a separate green piece of paper with a colorful heart on it that says, “I love you Dad, Form Avery.”

“Grandpa! Are you coming?”

Ray waves at his grandson and walks toward him, reading through the letter again.

“What gives, Gramps?” Micah asks, digging around the base of a tree.

“How good are you on the computer?”

Micah stops his work and looks at his grandpa. “Pretty good. Why?”

“Think you could find an obituary without having the name of the deceased or the date he died or even the place where he died?”

“What?”

Ray hands the letter to Micah. “This little girl’s dad died. All we have is her name.” Micah studies the letter and glances up. “Could you find something?”

Micah hands the letter back to Ray. “Maybe.”

FOURTEEN

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.

—A
LBERT
S
CHWEITZER

Sofia runs through the empty house, heading for what will be her bedroom. “This is it! This is the one I want.” She looks out the window and begins to unlock it. “Look, Dad! I can just crawl right out my window and be in the backyard.”

Ryan laughs. “You’re not a thief. You can use the door, like normal people.”

Susan, a graceful and graying Realtor who has made a career of selling homes, stands in the doorway, smiling.

Sofia darts through the hallway. “I love the triangle-shaped closet under the stairs. It’s the perfect size for me.”

“Which means, I’ll never be able to store anything in there because it will be filled with tiny chairs and tea sets and stuffed animals,” Ryan says.

Sofia grabs Ryan’s hand and swings it back and forth. “Don’t worry, Dad. One day I’ll be too tall and won’t be able to play in there anymore. But right now I can, and boy, am I going to have fun! Big-time!”

Ryan and Susan laugh as Susan glances at the calendar on her phone. “How does the twenty-second look to sign papers?”

Ryan looks at Sofia and smiles. “Looks like a great day to buy a house!”

*   *   *

Jennifer, Gloria, Miriam, and Lily pass out a costume to each angel choir member and ease it over the heads of the children. The Ramsey triplets begin flapping their arms like wings. “No, no!” Miriam yells. “You are not birds.”

“We know that! We’re pterodactyls,” Triplet One says.

Triplet Two begins to caw like that prehistoric bird and flaps around Triplet Three. Triplet Two climbs onto a chair and jumps off, flapping his wings as the other two climb atop chairs of their own. Miriam bangs her hands together again. She has had enough. “Andrew, Matthew, and James!” Everyone stops and stares. Miriam has seldom used the triplets’ names. “You are not pterodactyls, bats, eagles, or any bird of prey. Once and for all, you are angels.”

Triplet One, his blond hair standing on top of his head like a yellow wad of cotton candy, stops and says, “I thought angels protected us like our own police.”

All eyes are on Miriam. “Yes, that is true. Angels protect us.”

“Then how can they protect us, how can they fight the bad guys, if they’re just standing still like you want us to?”

Gloria steps behind Miriam, whispering. “He’s got a point.”

“Oh, shut up, Gloria!” Miriam hisses.

“Angels are big,” Triplet Three says, raising his arms above his head and standing on his tiptoes. “They can beat the crap out of bad guys.”

Miriam pats the air in front of her. “Yes, yes, of course they can beat the crap out…” She catches herself and sighs. “Angels are mighty and fierce and majestic and they are also messengers. When they announced that Jesus had been born, they weren’t fighting or jumping off chairs! They were excited because they were spreading the good news.” She is waving her arms and dancing across the choir room floor. The triplets are in awe, their eyes bugging out as they watch her. “They had been waiting for this day, and when Jesus was born, they couldn’t wait to fill the sky. Think about the light! Think about the radiance! Think about those shepherds, looking up at the most beautiful sight they’d ever seen.” Miriam stands still, looking up at the ceiling and then drops to her knees. “How can you see something that beautiful and stay on your feet? You can’t. It’s impossible. That’s how beautiful those angels were!” She scrambles back to her feet. “That’s what everyone who comes through the front door of this church should feel when you come singing down the aisle. They should feel the beauty. They should feel their hearts swell three sizes bigger because you are announcing the greatest news on earth.” She stands, looking at the Ramsey triplets, and their little faces beam with something like understanding—or gas, it’s hard to tell with them.

Gloria begins to clap and the entire angel choir breaks into applause. “If only you’d thought of that three weeks ago,” Gloria says.

“It’s only been three weeks?” Miriam says, shaking her head.

Jennifer and Lily pass out battery-operated candles to each child and adult.

“No real candles?” Triplet One bellows.

“For so many obvious reasons,” Miriam says, winking at him. “Remember,” she says above the noise. “Children walk in first, followed by adults, and be sure you sing out because many of you will still be in the lobby as we enter singing. All right, line up and let’s head to the sanctuary for our final practice!”

She hears Bunker practicing his solo for “Go Tell It on the Mountain” and he sounds like an out-of-tune tire iron tumbling down a metal slide. He struggles to find the notes and sticks his finger inside an ear, to better hear himself. His voice rallies round to gathering many of the right notes and he looks at Miriam, thrusting his thumb into the air. Oddly, Miriam feels an excitement replacing the dread that has clung to her for so many days, and she rushes ahead of the choir, waving like she’s directing planes.

“And she’s back,” Gloria says, ushering the children down the hall.

Lily feels her phone vibrating and lifts it out of her back jeans pocket, just before it goes to voice mail. “Hello!” she says, sticking out her arm to indicate a straight line for the children.

“Lily! It’s Dorothy. Is this a good time?”

“Uh.” Lily covers her other ear. “We’re about to go into dress rehearsal for the Nativity.”

“We can talk later but I wanted to see if you and Stephen would be up for a Christmas baby.”

Lily stops, the line of choir members moving past her. “What did you say?” She can hear Dorothy chuckle.

“We have a mom who’s about to give birth any time now. She’s chosen you and Stephen if you want the baby.”

Lily’s eyes spill over and she leans against the wall. “What? It took months last time and then…” The mother changed her mind, leaving Lily and Stephen with a roomful of baby things but an empty crib. “When? When is she due?” She can sense Dorothy smiling.

“Technically, she was due yesterday so it could be any minute, really.”

Lily is flapping her hand. “I have to call Stephen. Does she want to meet us? Will we know when she goes to the hospital? How? How did she pick us? I didn’t even know we were being considered.”

“Yes, you can be at the hospital and she picked you because why wouldn’t she? Now call Stephen!”

*   *   *

It’s close to nine when Jen and Avery pull up to their mailbox. “Brush your teeth and get your jammies on right away,” Jen says, pulling the mail from the box.

“No stories?”

Jen pulls into the garage. “One. Rehearsal went too late to read lots of them tonight.”

They walk into the back hallway, where Avery kicks off her tennis shoes into the coat closet, before going to the bathroom. Jen sets her purse and mail on the kitchen counter as she takes off her coat, hanging it on the back of a chair at the table. She grabs the stack of mail and begins to sort it, throwing several pieces into the trash. An envelope with Avery’s name on the front stops her and she feels her breath catch, reading the return address: “Heaven.” She flips the envelope over and looks for a return address there. “What in the…?” Avery has put on her pajamas, the nightie with colorful hearts on it, and is sitting on the sofa, holding a book. Jen carries the letter into the living room and sits next to her. “This is for you,” she says, handing her the letter.

Avery rips open the envelope and pulls out the most beautiful stationery she’s ever seen. It’s almost transparent with iridescent flecks of silver and gold. It feels like silk in her hands. “Wow!” she says, touching the edges with a golden thread running around the border. She looks at her mom. The writing is a calligraphy of sorts, too fancy for her to sound out. “Can you read it?”

“‘Dear Avery,’” Jen reads. “‘I wanted you to know right away that I received your letter on its way to Heaven.’” Avery gasps and Jen’s heart fills to her throat.

Your mom is right, your dad is very happy. Few people know that Heaven is greater than Neverland or anything you’ve seen in the movies. It is the most remarkable, cool, amazing place ever. God isn’t grumpy or mean but awesome to be with and every day is even better than Christmas. She’s also right when she told you that your dad would have stayed longer if he could but his leaving had nothing to do with you. It wasn’t your fault. Your dad is very proud of you; he has always been very proud of you and wants you to live a full life of joy, happiness, peace, and walking with God. I am so glad that I got to be the angel to answer your letter. You see, although others have floated past me, I was never able to catch one. I am so happy that I caught yours. I will carry it in my heart forever. Thank you for trusting me with it.

Merry Christmas,

One of God’s angels

Avery holds the letter, staring at it and then smiles. “I never thought I’d get a letter from an angel.” She looks at Jen. “Did you?”

Jen wipes at the stream of tears at the side of her nose with the back of her hand and laughs. “No, I sure didn’t.”

“It’s awesome, isn’t it?” Her eyes are wide and her face is glowing.

“It is so awesome!”

They snuggle together on the sofa in the light of the Christmas tree and trace their fingers over the words, reading the letter again. Avery is filled with questions:
Where in the universe did the angel catch her letter? How old is the angel? Is it a boy or girl or a fierce, warring angel that had just fought an enormous battle and had taken a break when it caught the letter?
Avery wonders if its clothes are golden or shimmery silver like the angel choir’s and what exactly the wings look like.

Jen knows there are no wings or flowing golden robes on this angel but rather a pair of jeans or khaki pants or a simple skirt and sweater that is attached to a mortgage and a used car and a life of ups and downs, victories and near misses. She’ll never know this angel’s name or where he or she lives or works or goes to school. She’ll never know where the letter was found or how the “angel” tracked them down but some things are not meant to be known, only to be believed.

FIFTEEN

These people who live in darkness will see a great light. They live in a place covered with the shadows of death, but a light will shine on them.

—M
ATTHEW
4:16

The shrubs in front of the church are sparkling with white lights and the walkway to the steps is glowing with bagged candles. The lobby is also aglow with candles, lighted wreaths, and a stunning tree. Although he goes to church across town, Ray Elhart picks one of his biggest and best trees each year to donate to Bill, his longtime high school friend and pastor of Grandon Community Church. Ray and his wife, Rita, stand near it, observing fallen needles and calculating how many days the tree has left. When you own a Christmas tree farm, you never look at a Christmas tree the same way again.

A group of men, including Gloria’s husband, Marshall, and women and children are busy handing out cups of warm, spiced cider and battery-operated candles for the final song. Gloria and Miriam watch as the crowd filters into the sanctuary for the first service of the Nativity. Miriam is stunning in a red angora sweater, simple pearls, and black slacks. Gloria is beaming in her best Christmas sweater, a green cotton blend knit that Miriam bought for her last year with the word “hope” written in Christmas ornaments across the front.