The Christmas Wish (24 page)

“I think Mom went all out on the desserts this year. She was a little scared that a pastry chef was having Christmas Eve desserts at our house.”

“Stop.” Brinn smiled.

He loved that smile. It could light up the night. He pulled her into him and pressed a kiss to her lips. This was what he wanted, Brinn. Her smile and her openness.

“Hey, so I need you to trust me on this.” He pulled out a green sleep mask he’d pilfered from his mom.

“Seriously?

“Seriously. This is a surprise. How can I show you a surprise if you see it before we get there?”

“There’s a lot of snow and a lot of ice.” Brinn said as Tyler put the mask over her eyes.

“Then I guess I’ll have to hold on to you extra tight.” He grasped Brinn’s arm and they walked down the sidewalk and then turned left and cut through the yard. He had been over to the house earlier that evening and the day before.

“Okay, stay here.” He dashed up the front stairs and opened the door. He pulled her in the front and flipped the switch.

“Now look.” Tyler lifted the mask from her eyes. The living room was huge. Big enough for two semitrucks.

“Oh my goodness.” Brinn spun around in the front room, gasping when she saw the giant bay windows. “This is the Landry place.”

“Yep.” Tyler took a big breath and rolled back on his heels. The place was big and beautiful and had great bones, but the house needed work. A lot of work. Lucky for him he was an architect who had already consulted with a contractor.

“Tyler,” Brinn whispered, “I don’t think we should be in here.”

He fought the smile that wanted to spread across his face.

“The Landrys don’t like trespassers. Remember that dog of theirs that used to chase kids if they even walked across the front yard?”

Tyler pulled her deeper into the house. “In fact, I still have a scar where Renfro got me on the ass when I was in seventh grade.”

He pulled her through the front room and the dining room and then paused before the kitchen doors. “But since we’re already in here, let’s take a look.”

Brinn tilted her head. “I don’t know. Do we really want to go to jail on Christmas Eve?”

“Do you think Wayne is even patrolling tonight?”

“Wayne might not be, but one of his deputies probably is.”

“More likely he’s snoozing in his cruiser behind the Dine Out Cafe.”

Tyler pushed open the swinging doors that led to the kitchen.

“This place is—”

Brinn stopped talking. Her gaze landed on the little potted evergreen tree with white lights that was on the kitchen island. She stepped forward. There was one ornament on the tree. Just one.

Her eyes looked up to his and a warmth cascaded through his chest.

“It’s for you. I know it’s a big step, but I love you and you love me and—”

Brinn lifted the heart-shaped key chain with the key that dangled from it.

“You want me to move in? Here?”

Tyler nodded. He did. He desperately wanted Brinn to be a part of his life. To be with Charlotte. “I love you.” He pulled her toward him. “I know this is your favorite house in town. I want us to remodel it. To make this place our place. I want this to be our home.”

Brinn held the key up higher. “Our home.” Her eyes looked at the key.

Was she happy? Tyler’s heart lurched in his chest. Was it too much too fast? Had he misread the signs?

“I want you to help me design the kitchen. I want this to be your dream kitchen. Exactly what you’d want. Everything you need. Let’s do this together. A team. A couple. A life together.”

Her eyes met his and in them he saw surprise and shock, and was that joy?

“Brinn, if I was ever going to remarry, if I was ever going to be married again, it would be to you. You know that, right?”

Her eyes. There was sadness in her eyes. He wanted to put the joy back. He wanted there to be hope and all the things he wanted in their life. “It’s you Brinn, it’s me. I just… I can’t… I’m not certain that I can do that again. That I can ever be married.”

“I understand.” Her voice was soft. “Thank you. I…” She looked away from him. “It’s a big step. I need to think about it.”

Tyler nodded. A weight settled in his chest. He needed her to say yes, he wanted her to say yes. He’d been nearly sure in his heart that she would say yes.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, hoping the passion and the warmth they shared would convince her that she had to say yes to him. But now he wasn’t so sure.

*

If I was ever going to get remarried it would be to you
… Brinn lay on her back in the twin bed in her childhood room. She couldn’t sleep and it wasn’t because Santa Claus was in his sled high in the sky. She flipped onto her side and pulled at the blankets. Tyler would never get married again. Never. He didn’t love her enough to take that risk. She sighed again.

“You sound like a horse sneezing,” Deborah called from the other bed. “What’s up with you? You’ve been huffing and puffing and rolling around in your bed since you got home tonight.”

“You’re awake?”

“How can I possibly sleep? You’re worse than Jason with his snoring.” Deborah sat up and flipped on the pink princess light between their beds. “Not that Jason is home all that much anymore for me to hear him snore.”

Even after a half night’s sleep, her sister still looked like she’d walked off the page of a fashion magazine. How did she do that? Her hair was slick and unmussed, and even without makeup she looked gorgeous.

“Things didn’t go well at the Emerson Christmas Eve?”

Brinn pulled herself up and plopped her pillow behind her back. “It went well there. I had a great time.”

“Was Kent there?”

“No, but Tyler told me this isn’t the first time he’s missed Christmas Eve. Seems he has a pattern of getting himself into trouble around the holidays.”

“If there weren’t any problems, then why the huffing and puffing and no sleeping?”

“Tyler gave me my Christmas present. Or, well, I think it was meant to be my Christmas present.”

“You think? How can you be confused about that?”

“He gave me a kitchen?”

Deborah crinkled her eyebrows and gave Brinn a look that only a little sister could give.

“In a house. He bought the Landry place and he wants me to remodel the kitchen with him and move in.”

“That’s huge. How come you’re not bouncing off the walls?”

Brinn rested her head against the wall behind her. “Because moving in with Tyler isn’t exactly what I want.” She turned and looked at Deborah. “He said he’s not ever going to get married again.”

“What?”

“He failed at it once and he won’t do it again.” Brinn closed her eyes. “And now he’s given me a key and asked me to move in and—”

“Move in and convince him to marry you. You can change his mind.”

Brinn shook her head. That remedy sounded exactly like her sister. Wasn’t that how she snagged Jason? That plus forgetting to take her birth control. “I can’t do that. It’s not me.”

“You’d end up with what you want. Worked for me and Jason.”

“Right.” Brinn took a long deep breath. “I know, and you guys are happy. I mean Jason was young and not sure then about what he wanted. But Tyler? He’s traveled that road once and he seems pretty certain that he doesn’t want to marry anyone ever again. I don’t think it would work for me.” She pressed her fingertips to the corners of her eyes. “I love him, but I want all of it. And I guess what I really want is someone who loves me enough to want all of it with me too.”

“Hey.” Deborah threw back her blanket and came over to Brinn’s bed. She wrapped Brinn into her arms. “If he doesn’t realize he’s the luckiest guy in the whole world to be dating you, then he doesn’t deserve you and if living with him isn’t going to make you happy, then don’t do it. Absolutely don’t do it.”

Brinn nodded. Her heart hurt. Her Christmas wish wasn’t coming true. She wasn’t going to have a happily ever after with Tyler, not now. She couldn’t force him to change his mind, and she couldn’t take that risk. Living with him and knowing they would never get married wasn’t enough for her.

“Hey, I’m here to tell you marriage isn’t always all you think it will be.” Deborah reached for a tissue from the box of the nightstand and handed it to Brinn. “It can be a long, tough road.”

Brinn blew her nose. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know what we are, but definitely not okay. He moved out right after Thanksgiving. He’d already leased a place in downtown Denver close to his office. I haven’t said anything to Mom. I wanted to wait until the holidays were over.”

“And Lucy?”

“Thinks he’s at trial. I’ve been lying to her for a month. Which surprisingly isn’t all that difficult because Jason wasn’t with us very often.” Deborah shook her head. “It’s not good.”

“Oh, Deborah, I’m sorry.”

“I know. I mean, things haven’t been right for a while, and well, we both… we both are tired and we’re angry. And I don’t know. I’m not sure we can fix it. I’m not sure if we want to.”

Deb appeared calm and strong. “I’ve already cried my tears. “I’ve had a month to get used to the new normal. I’m going to tell Ma after Christmas. She’s going to flip.”

“Maybe she’ll just flip because she knows how hard this will be on you and Lucy.”

“Neither one of us believes that. She’ll flip because my divorce will be scuttlebutt for town gossip. She hates that. Nothing sends her over the edge like gossip about the family.” Deborah looked at the nightstand. “Damn, it’s four a.m. Betcha Lucy is up in an hour. It’s Christmas!”

“Yeah, it’s Christmas.” But Brinn didn’t feel much of the Christmas spirit at all.

“Daddy, get up! Santa was here!” Charlotte yanked his arm.

Tyler opened one eye to look at the clock. Five thirty-two a.m. About the time he’d thought that Charlotte and her cousins would drag the sleeping adults out of bed. He dragged himself down the stairs with his robe wrapped around him and smelled the scent of fresh coffee brewing.

Dad rounded the corner. “Your mother is brilliant. She set the coffeepot timer for five a.m. Go get a cup. I’ll hold them off on ripping through the wrapping paper until you get back.”

Mom and Katherine and Chuck were all in the kitchen, each looking bleary eyed.

“Payback is rough, isn’t it, kids?” Mom poured coffee into three cups. “When you boys were little, the only way we could get you to wait until after five a.m. on Christmas morning was to tell you that if you came down before five all the gifts from Santa would disappear. Poof. Christmas magic.”

“I think that worked on all of us but Kent. I remember finding him asleep on the stairs one year and carrying him back to bed.” Chuck handed a cup of coffee to Katherine.

“Another year, he was asleep in front of the fireplace with a fishing net.” Mom poured Tyler a cup of coffee.

“That’s right! He was going to catch Santa or at the very least an elf.”

“Wow, Mom, what happened with that kid?” Chuck asked.

“Boys,” Mom said in a warning voice. “You’ve each had your trials. You two and Breck have the benefit of an additional decade of life Your brother is still just making it through his twenties. Cut him a little slack. I have to say, you three got a whole lot smarter once you each hit thirty, or in your case, Chuck, when you got married.” She nodded toward Katherine and smiled.

There was something unsaid in his mother’s comment, though she most likely didn’t realize it. While Chuck had gotten smarter when he married, Tyler had not. Not by a long shot.

Married. No, Tyler hadn’t gotten smarter when he got married. Instead, he’d gotten dumber, hadn’t he? The memories from last night poured into his mind. Had he ruined his relationship with Brinn? Would she move in to his and Charlotte’s new house? Had he asked her the right way? She’d hesitated. Hesitation wasn’t a good sign. He sipped his coffee and walked down the hall toward the living room.

Now he’d have to deal with Charlotte’s disappointment. She wanted her mom so badly and was banking on Christmas magic to get Charlize here for Christmas. Damn, he hoped the presents and love from their family would be enough to make Charlotte feel good today.

“Mommy!”

Tyler stopped at the end of the hall and his head whipped toward Charlotte’s voice.
Mommy?
His heart pounded in his chest. He must have mistakenly heard Grace and thought it was Charlotte.

He stopped at the entrance to the hallway. A giant smile lit up Charlotte’s face as she gazed at her mother. Charlize held Charlotte in her arms. What?

“See, Daddy. I told you Santa could do anything with Christmas magic.”

Tyler had no words. Nothing to say to his ex-wife. She was here. Standing in his parents’ foyer with his entire family gathered around him as though waiting to see how he might respond to this moment, this impossible moment when at five a.m. on Christmas morning the woman who had destroyed his life had appeared at his parents’ house.

“Charlize, let me take your coat.” He held out his arms as though a robot had taken over his body. He wouldn’t destroy this moment for Charlotte or taint it with unpleasant memories caused by him, no matter how hard this morning might be. His family, his parents, and his brother and sister-in-law took their cue from him. Carol rushed forward and grasped the presents from Charlize’s hands.

“Sweetheart, how lovely to see you.” Carol hugged Charlize. “I know Charlotte is thrilled. She’s been talking about how much she wanted to see you.”

Charlize shot him a thank-you with her eyes. Yes, he disliked his ex-wife and all the pain she’d caused him and Charlotte, but the joy bursting across Charlotte’s face made up for all of it. Charlotte was so happy—thrilled. She clasped her mother’s hand as though she might never let go.

“Mommy, come see the tree. Sit next to me, Mommy. We’re going to open the presents from Santa.”

“Thank you,” Charlize said and walked by Tyler. His heart cracked. A sick feeling pitted his gut. He had so much anger and yet he simply nodded and smiled at Charlize.

“I’m happy for Charlotte that you’re here. She needs you. She misses you.”