The Christmas Wish (25 page)

Charlize nodded “I know…” She shook her head. “I just…”

“We’ll discuss it later.”

“Mommy, come on!” Charlotte pulled Charlize toward the living room.

“Okay.” Charlize brushed her fingertips through her hair. “Thank you.” She pressed a smile to her face. “Thank you.”

Tyler nodded. His ex-wife moved through the foyer to the living room.

“Oh my goodness! Charlotte, look at all the things Santa brought you.”

“Proud of you, son.” Dad clapped his hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “You’re making a wonderful memory for Charlotte.”

“Even if her mother doesn’t deserve to be so lucky.” Carol walked toward Charlize and sat on the couch, next to her ex-daughter-in-law.

Yes, Charlotte was happy. And really, for this Christmas, that was all that mattered.

*

“When does Jason arrive?” The presents had been ripped open and Lucy was now napping before they had Christmas dinner.

“He’s not coming up today.” Deborah shot Brinn a look over the turkey that Brinn was basting in the oven. “The roads are too slick and he has to be in court early tomorrow.”

“The day after Christmas?” Ma cut more biscuits with the biscuit cutter. “That man works too hard.” She placed the biscuits on the cookie sheet. “I can’t believe he won’t be here. It doesn’t seem right that he should miss Christmas with his family.” Ma shook her head.

“Deborah, I could use another toddy.” Nonna lifted her highball glass and shook he ice.

“That woman has a wooden leg,” Ma mumbled under her breath.

“I heard that.”

Brinn smiled and put the bird back into the oven.

“When is Dom coming, Ma?”

Ma blushed and put the final biscuit on the cookie tray. “I told him around two.” She pressed her fingertips to her hair. She seemed uncomfortable with everyone knowing that she and Dom were dating.

“I suppose now is a good time to show you and Nonna what Deb and I got you.”

“Now?” Ma asked.

“Now.” Brinn nodded. This was the perfect way to get Ma diverted from all the reasons why Jason could not miss Christmas with his family plus all the questions she would ask Brinn.

“Whoa! Maybe my wooden leg is full.” Nonna whispered to Brinn. Brinn smiled. Nonna had only had two drinks so far.

“Okay, we’re going to the garage.”

“The garage? What’s in the garage? I didn’t see anything in the garage—

“Ma, stop. You’re giving me a headache. You don’t know about everything.”

Ma shot Deborah a surprised look. Those two didn’t ever argue. It was Brinn and Ma that bickered and didn’t see eye to eye, but Deborah and Ma? They were always on the same page.

Brinn walked out into the garage with Nonna beside her. The garage was cool and little puffs of air came from Brinn’s mouth.

“Ma, Nonna, these are for you.” Brinn pulled the heavy drop cloth from the two statues.

Ma clasped her hand to her mouth. The statue was of Deborah and Brinn in a meadow. They were younger and they had wings.

“How? Where?

“They were made by Savannah, Savannah McGrath, weren’t they?”

“That’s you.” Nonna reached out her hand to Ma. Ma took three steps forward and Nonna pressed her palms to Ma’s face. “That is you, my precious beautiful little girl that I loved so very much.”

Nonna pressed a kiss to Ma’s face and tears dripped from Ma’s eyes.

“How I love you so.”

For the longest time there had been a glass wall between Nonna and Ma. They spoke and were polite, but Nonna didn’t touch Ma and Ma didn’t touch Nonna.

“Mother, please.”

“Oh darling, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Both wrapped their arms around the other.

“Mother, you’re freezing already. We need to get you more bourbon. Maybe I’ll have one with you.” Ma grasped Nonna around the waist and they walked into the kitchen.

Brinn’s heart ached today. She’d been offered an amazing gift last night, but she couldn’t take it. She’d woken up that very morning, certain that she couldn’t move in with Tyler and nearly as certain that she couldn’t be involved with him anymore either. At her core, she wanted something different than he did. She wasn’t going to try to change him. She loved him too much. What they wanted wasn’t compatible. She wanted a marriage, a family, possibly her own children, and while she loved him, she wasn’t willing to give up the dream she had for her own family. Their relationship would end.

“Are Tyler and Charlotte coming over today?” Nonna asked. “I love that little girl. She’s a bundle of joy.”

“I’m not sure, Nonna.”

“Then you’re going over there?”

Brinn took a deep breath. “Don’t know.”

Nonna stopped walking and turned to Brinn. “What happened? I saw the three of you at dinner last night, and you all were like peas in a warm pod. Now he’s not coming here and you’re not going there? What happened between dinner last night and breakfast this morning? Don’t tell me you’re upset because he hasn’t offered you a ring yet?”

Brinn shook her head no. “Nonna, I don’t expect a ring yet.”

“But?”

“Tyler asked me to move in with him.”

“At the Landry place he just bought?”

“I swear, you have every home in Powder Springs bugged.”

“What’s the hang up? You got a man that loves you with an adorable kid that thinks the world of you, and he’s asked you to shack up? I gotta say, babe, sounds like a good gig if you can get it.”

“He doesn’t want to get married again.”

Nonna turned her head and her eyes widened. “He told you that. In those exact words?”

Brinn nodded. “He said that if he ever did want to be married I’d be the only woman he’d want to be married to.”

“Oh, Brinn.” Nonna’s eyes held sadness. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry.

“I love him, but I want to be married and I want to maybe have children, and I understand what he’s saying and I respect it, and if he really feels that way—”

Nonna grasped her arm. “No, darling, you’re right. You can’t change a person’s mind on marriage or children. You have to let him go, especially if you two are so far apart. There are some gaps that love can’t bridge. And if he doesn’t ever want to marry and you do… Well, doll, there are a lot of things a couple can compromise on, but with that one? It’s one way or another.”

Brinn fought the lump in her throat. She didn’t want to cry on Christmas. She’d spent most of Christmas Eve crying, she didn’t need to cry anymore.

“Oh Nonna. I’m in love with him.”

“I know, doll, and the sad thing is he’s in love with you too.”

Charlotte’s little face relaxed in sleep. Charlize kneeled beside the bunk bed and ran her fingertips across the soft skin of Charlotte’s face. The tiny girl took a giant breath and released it. She was so asleep. All three girls were down for a nap. The early morning combined with a heavy lunch had caused them to all sack out. Charlize stood and turned to Tyler.

He crossed his arms. He’d been hospitable. His entire family had been hospitable. He hadn’t felt hospitable on the inside. As the day wore on and the shock of Charlize showing up at his parents’ began to wear off, he’d become angrier and angrier at the insensitivity of his ex-wife. The woman was a true narcissist. She couldn’t call? She couldn’t text or e-mail or let anyone know she planned to arrive on Christmas morning?

Tyler followed her into the hall.

“Now. We need to talk now.”

They both walked down the front staircase. Tyler turned into the study, then shut the door. Charlize walked to the far side of the room and stared out the window. She was so perfectly stunning with her willowy body and long legs and gorgeous, thick blond hair, her sculpted cheekbones and sapphire-blue eyes, and yet there was no heat for Tyler. When he looked at her, his blood turned as cold as winter snow. There wasn’t an ounce of desire left in him for this woman. He no longer wanted her. Any claim she’d once had over his heart was gone.

“I’m sorry.” Charlize curled onto the couch across from the desk.

Sorry was a word that easily passed over her lips, and yet it never felt as though she actually
was
sorry. Charlize always seemed as though she was sorry to be caught or sorry to be in trouble, but never really sorry about how her actions affected others.

“I should have called. My parents don’t even know I’m here.”

“You haven’t been home?”

“Not yet. I took a red-eye to Denver and then drove up. I wanted to be here for her. I knew what she wished for. She didn’t come right out and tell me when we talked, but I knew.” Charlize pressed her hand to her forehead. “I’ve been the world’s worst mother.”

Tyler said nothing. Perhaps not the world’s
worst
mother. She had never beaten their child or abused her, but she had been pretty damn bad. She’d abandoned her marriage and her child for another man and a fantasy life in New York City.

“How long are you here for?” She wouldn’t be staying long, of that he was certain.

“I don’t know.” She she plucked at her pants with her fingers. “I may not go back.” She turned and looked at Tyler. “You and Charlotte are staying in Powder Springs?”

His heart thumped in his chest. “You might not go back? Are you saying that you’re staying here?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. Perhaps. I want to be near her. She’s changed so much since I saw her last and things… Well, things in New York aren’t what I’d thought and—”

“You two split up?”

“We don’t want the same things. He wants more children and I don’t.”

The air burst from Tyler’s lungs. Wow. Something about that seemed nearly too self-aware for Charlize, but then his eyes traveled over her hips. Yes, oh yes, she was obsessive about her figure. She’d been a woman possessed after Charlotte was born. Charlize had worked out both morning and evening and had eaten nearly nothing, to the point that Charlotte couldn’t breast-feed because Charlize’s body wouldn’t produce any milk.

“I just don’t think it’s the right time. I’ve got my career, and I’m not ready to have another person take over my body again. Not yet, maybe not ever.”

Such selfish reasons for her, but hadn’t Tyler said similar things to Brinn not long ago?

“Plus, I don’t think I want to get married again.” Charlize sat on the chair next to the bookcase. I’m not very good at marriage, am I? I mean, look at how we turned out. Not sure I want to fail at being married a second time. Especially not where Charlotte is concerned.”

“Wait? What career?”

“I’m building websites and doing promotions for a couple of small start-ups and some publishing companies.”

“You?” Tyler said. “Are working?”

“Please, Tyler,” Charlize said. Her eyes narrowed. “I know you have perceptions of our relationship and who I am, but truly the demise of a marriage takes two. You didn’t ever think I was smart enough to work, so I believed that I wasn’t. We both seemed to forget that I graduated summa cum laude with a degree in promotions and marketing. I do know my way around a computer.”

“And Broadway?”

Charlize waved her hand as though he knew nothing. “That was a fantasy to get me out of Colorado. That ship sailed maybe two decades ago. I’m smarter than that. Plus, I like having money. I can do what I do anywhere in the world. I am not going to be a Broadway actress, and I want to be near my daughter. That’s why I’m here. Nothing more.” She said the words as though to make certain that Tyler realized she wasn’t here for a holiday-fueled reconciliation. “Besides, I hear you’ve got a little thing going with the baker. What’s her name? I knew her sister, Deborah. Brie? Brenda? Bri—”

“Brinn.” He didn’t like the tone Charlize used and the smug look on her face,

“Nice girl, right? But not very pretty. Who knows? Some women grow into their looks. I suppose the pickings are slim in Powder Springs. They kind of always were.”

Tyler’s chest tightened at Charlize’s words. Brinn was beautiful both inside and out. She was perfect and ideal and everything that he could ever want in a woman, a mate, a… wife.

“You’re not leaving, then,” Tyler said. “Powder Springs. So Charlotte can expect you to be here for her. To become a part of her life again. To, in fact, potentially take her for half the time?”

Charlize backed away from Tyler as thought his words were too much for her. “I do intend to stay here. But with my work, I’ll have to travel.”

Tyler’s heart squeezed tight. She was leaving herself an out where their daughter was concerned. She was saying that yes, she was back, closer, in the same town, but she still might not have time to be a mother. Which would be harder for Charlotte? Her mother thousands of miles away and never seeing her, or knowing that her mom was just around the corner and couldn’t make time for her? He wasn’t certain. There was an anger in his chest at how nonchalant Charlize was about her child, as though it was just expected that she could flit in and out of Charlotte’s life on a whim and still be a part of Charlotte’s existence. How convenient for Charlize. But parenting wasn’t about flitting in and out, checking out, being unavailable both physically and emotionally. Parenting was about digging in and being present, even when checking out was exactly what you wanted to do.

Like now. Tyler wanted to berate his ex-wife for her ludicrous beliefs regarding how she would be a part of Charlotte’s life on her terms. But he wouldn’t today, not now. “I know you’ve made Charlotte’s Christmas very special, and for that I want to thank you.”

Charlize’s eyes widened, not what she expected perhaps, and not the sum of how he felt with regards to her, but for today, his thanks for his daughter’s happiness would be enough.

“Thank you.” Charlize stood and walked toward the den door. “I’m going to my parents’. Would it be okay if Charlotte wanted to come with me?”

Tyler nodded. “Of course. We’re all going to be around here all day, hanging out and watching the kids play. I may go over to the Bartolis’ for a while, but I know Charlotte would love to spend more time with her mom. And she hasn’t really seen your parents since we’ve been back.”

Charlize stiffened with Tyler’s remark and the color drained from her face. “My mom”—Charlize lowered her voice her gaze darted away from him as though she couldn’t bear to say the words—“my mother had to be admitted again to White Pines.”