The Cinderella Reflex (31 page)

“I’ve had better birthdays.” She gave him a rueful smile. “And better days than today, to be honest.”

It was true. She’d been shocked by her appearance this morning. No amount of make-up could disguise the purple shadows which were like bruises under her eyes. Her complexion was chalk white and she had an acne breakout on her chin. Halfway through trying to camouflage it all she’d stopped. What was the point? She needed a new life, not more make-up. And to think her main concern had, not so long ago, been how to look ten years younger!

“Carrot cake sometimes helps?” Matt offered.

“It certainly wouldn’t do any harm,” Helene conceded. “And I’ll have a full-fat cappuccino to go with it.” Being pregnant had some compensations after all.

“Coming up.” He flung his blue and white check teacloth over his arm and walked towards the kitchen, stopping to share a joke with a customer on the way.

It was the first thing she’d noticed about Matt, she reflected. How good-humoured he was. Even when he had been struggling to get the cafe opened, he’d had a smile and a chat for everyone. Even for her that day she’d arrived after the big row with Ollie, when she’d been so off-hand with him.

Helene wondered when, exactly, she had become such a bitch? Maybe it wasn’t one moment, she reflected. Maybe it was a series of incremental steps – instances when she’d decided that her perspective was more important than someone else’s, that her needs came first, every time, until she somehow got used to that and started to think that her viewpoint was the only valid one. And Richard had turned out to be every bit as selfish as she was.

Matt, on the other hand, seemed to go out of his way to help other people at a moment’s notice.

“I never got a chance to thank you for being so kind the night of my birthday party,” she said when he came back with a giant chunk of cake and a mugful of steaming coffee.

“It wasn’t a problem. Did you er ... sort everything out, after?”

“Not really. Actually, I’ve come to ask you for another favour. I need to pick your brains about flights and stuff.”

“Oh? Going on holidays?” His eyes crinkled at the corners and Helene noticed for the first time that he had odd-coloured eyes, one sea green, the other hazel, flecked with dark speckles.

“A bit more than that.” Her stomach lurched when she thought about her plans.

“Sure.” Matt looked about the cafe
.
It was almost closing time, and there were only a few stragglers left, finishing their food or flicking through brochures. “Look, if you can wait for a bit I’ll close up and I can give you my full attention then.”

“Great.” Helene spent the time thinking about her plans. Going to see her sister in New Zealand seemed to be the most logical first step. But should she wait until she had the baby? She couldn’t make up her mind. She seemed to have developed brain fog when it came to decisions and she kept falling asleep! She guessed it was the pregnancy hormones, but that was alarming when she had so much to figure out.

“Do you mind if we have our chat upstairs in my apartment?” Matt was finished work. “It’s been a long day and I could do with a break from the cafe.”

“I’d love to.” Helene drained her coffee and stood up. It would make a change from sitting in her own silent apartment night after a night. She followed him through a door at the back of the cafe and up two rickety flights of stairs, where he stopped outside a purple hall door.

“Here we are.”

Helene stepped into the apartment and blinked with surprise. Floor to ceiling windows flooded the open-plan living space with light and the last of the evening sunlight sparkled across blond wooden floors. The walls were crammed with colourful abstract artwork and framed photographs of Matt’s travels. A pot of purple and white orchids formed an exotic arrangement on the coffee table.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll only be a few minutes,” Matt disappeared into his bedroom.

Helene sank onto the floral sofa, and looked about her curiously. It didn’t actually look like a man’s apartment. Her eyes fell on a small, framed photo sitting on a side table and she picked it up to examine it more closely. Matt beamed out at her, one arm around a waifish looking woman who was wearing an oversized cowboy hat and a wide smile. They both looked tanned and happy. Sydney Harbour Bridge soared in the background.

The sun had enveloped the living room in a warm golden glow and it wasn’t long before Helene’s imagination had transported her to the other side of the world. She felt her eyelids drooping and when they fluttered open again Matt was sitting on the other end of the sofa, his feet on the coffee table. He had changed into casual jeans and a tee shirt and was nursing a large glass of red wine.

“How long was I out for?” Helene rubbed her eyes.

“Half an hour.” Matt glanced at the photograph that had slipped onto Helene’s lap. She followed his gaze.

“Is she the person responsible for your beautiful decor?”

“No, that was me!” Matt grinned. “Clearly I’m in touch with my feminine side.”

Helene tapped the glass frame with her fingertips. “She’s very pretty. Is she your girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend. Rosanne.” He waved his glass in the air. “Broken romances. Don’t you just hate ‘em?”

Helene grimaced. He looked at her curiously. “Did you break up with the guy I met leaving your birthday party, then?”

“I did.” Helene looked at the photograph again. “And you? How long ago was your break-up?”

“Six months. She met someone else.” He sounded wistful. “What happened with your guy?”

“Girl meets boy. Boy dumps girl. Same old story.” Helene pushed her hair out of her eyes. Matt pointed to the wine bottle on the coffee table.

“A drink to drown our sorrows?”

“Hah!” Helene laughed. “That’s where the complication comes in, actually. Not only is boy who dumps girl married in this case, but also dumped girl is pregnant at the time! So I’ll pass on the alcohol, thanks. But I’d murder a cup of tea, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Seriously?” Matt looked shocked. “So what are you going to do?”

“Be a great mother I hope!” Helene laughed at his troubled expression. “Now that I’ve got over the shock I’m sort of looking forward to it. I thought that ship had sailed for me. And now that it hasn’t ... well, it’s beginning to feel like a brand new adventure.”

Matt smiled. “Well, that’s a very positive attitude to take, I must say.” He put down his wine and loped off to the kitchen, returning with a tray of tea and an array of colourful cupcakes on an ornate stand.

Helene’s eyes widened. “You’re a demon baker?”

He laughed. “I run a cafe!”

Helene poured out her tea and helped herself to a cupcake. She may as well start eating for two now, she decided, biting into the pink and white icing. She wasn’t going to have to worry about her figure for a while. Maybe never. Maybe she’d just grow fat and stay that way – it would be one less thing to worry about.

“So. You wanted to pick my brain,” Matt reminded her.

“Yes, I did,” Helene sighed. “It’s hard to know where to begin, actually.”

“Pick a place – any place,” Matt suggested. He folded his arms and waited.

And so she did. And once she’d started talking, Helene found she couldn’t stop. The whole story came bubbling out, about how for so many years she had deluded herself into believing that Richard was going to leave his wife for her; how some outsider had swiped It’s My Show from under her nose; how Jack McCabe had taken over Atlantic 1 FM; and how Richard hadn’t bothered to tell her that Jack was actually his
brother-in-law
. How for a long time she had been terrified about how she was going to cope with a baby on her own. The only bit she left out was Richard’s suggestion that she have a termination because, almost as soon as he had the words out, Helene had pushed them to the back of her mind and refused to think about them again.

“Paulina’s advice is that I concentrate on making Chris Conroy – he’s the one who won the contest – into a star.” Helene finished the last crumbs of her cake.

“And what do you think?” Matt enquired.

Helene rummaged in her bag and pulled out the travel ticket and Richard’s cheque and handed them to Matt.

His eyes widened. “Generous guy!”

“Rich guy. Rich, guilty guy. It was his birthday present to me. His brilliant idea was that I could go travelling – alone – until he’d got his settlement out of Atlantic 1 FM. But of course I went and got pregnant and ruined his big plan. Anyone would think I had done it on my own.” Helene said bitterly.

“So what are you going to do?” Matt asked.

“At the time I dismissed the idea of travelling out of hand because of the baby. But then I got to thinking – well, you must meet lots of people who travel with babies, right?”

“All the time,” Matt confirmed. “You just need to take your circumstances into account when you’re deciding where to go.”

“I have a sister in New Zealand. She settled there with her family years ago. I’ve never been.”

“Well, you’ll
love
New Zealand!” Enthusiasm made Matt sound like a small boy. “And you won’t have any problem at all travelling there with a baby. When do you want to go?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know if I should wait and have the baby first – I don’t know what to do about anything really.”

“Sure, there’s no rush. I can give you all the advice you need over the next couple of weeks. Are you going to stay on at work in the meantime?”

“Don’t know about that either,” Helene mumbled. “My future isn’t there any more. But I can’t seem to get around to drafting my resignation letter either.” She shivered just thinking about it.

Matt looked at her speculatively. “I could do with a hand in the cafe. On a strictly casual basis. It might be something you’d consider.”

“Like ... wait tables?” Helene couldn’t hide her astonishment.

Matt laughed at her expression. “It’s not like being down the mines! It can be quite pleasant waiting on people. You get to meet the most interesting characters.” His eyes met hers. “Like you, for instance.”

Helene blushed. Was Matt hitting on her? Even after she’d just told him she was pregnant? But before she could think of a reply, he was back talking about work again. “I was thinking more about someone to work on strategies to get more out of the cafe. That’s your forte isn’t it – new ideas?”

“Broadcasting is all about new ideas,” she conceded. “Or old ideas presented in a new way.” In fact, she could think of lots of ways to improve the Travel Cafe now, right off the top of her head. Matt could run a competition for the most interesting itinerary, and right away you’d get lots of fascinating stories about people’s journeys and why they were doing them. With the right sort of publicity, she could really put the Travel Cafe on the national map.

“It’s just an idea. Think about it,” Matt said easily.

“I will ... and thanks.” Helene stuffed the cheque back in her bag thoughtfully. Matt made her feel as if her life may not be in so much of a cul-de-sac after all. “I’d better be getting back.”

“Keep in touch now,” Matt leaned forward to help her off the sofa, and as she looked at his hand on her arm, Helene wondered again if Matt could be attracted to her? But of course it was her treacherous hormones, making mischief again. Tricking her into finding any man attractive, a biological urge to find someone to share the rearing of her offspring with.

Still, as she got into her car to drive home, she couldn’t help smiling. It felt good that Matt had been there for her today, if only as a friend.
Especially
as a friend. He hadn’t even brought up the fact that she had never got him the radio gig she’d promised him. By the time she pulled up outside her apartment block she felt more at peace with herself than she’d been in months. Tonight, she decided, she was going to have a long, hot bath and draft her letter of resignation.

She was turning her key in the lock when someone pushed out of the shadows and put his hand on her shoulder. She swung around to face the intruder, her pulse racing.

“My key wouldn’t work!” Richard shot her an accusing look.

“You’ve just put the heart crossways in me!” Helene snapped. “And your key doesn’t work because I changed the locks.” She opened the door and turned back to face him, intending to keep him at the door, but he was too quick for her. He stepped in after her, standing so close to her in the tiny hallway that for a moment she found herself transported back to a time when she and Richard had been lovers and the best of friends.

Or so she’d thought. She pulled away from him and went into the kitchen.

“These are for you.” He handed a bouquet of flowers to her. “I’m sorry,” he added.

“Why? Because I changed the locks?” She took the flowers and dumped them on the table.

“You need to put them in water, to keep them fresh,” Richard advised.

Helene laughed mirthlessly. “So now you’re concerned about the well-being of a bunch of flowers but you haven’t asked about your unborn baby?”

“Don’t be like that,” he shifted uneasily from one foot to the other.

Helene snatched up an empty vase and half-filled it. She shoved the flowers, cellophane wrapping and all, into it and turned back to Richard, flattening the small of her back against the table to create a distance between them.

“Ollie is sacked, apparently.”

“I heard. But in fairness, he had it coming.” Richard looked at her gravely. “What about you?”

“I am about to write my resignation letter.”

He frowned. “I thought you’d want to keep your job at all costs now. With the er ... pregnancy,” he added.

“Well, I don’t.” Helene thought she saw a look of relief pass over his features.

“But are you sure you’re doing the right thing? In resigning?”

“No, I’m not. But my job at Atlantic would take way too much energy when I’m a single mother,” she said pointedly.

“You’d get maternity leave,” he reminded her.

“Yes I would. If I spend the next six months of my life faking an interest in the fame and fortunes of Chris Conroy. And trying to forget that Jack McCabe knows I was the third person in his sister’s marriage. I don’t have the stomach for it frankly. I couldn’t care less what happens at Atlantic now.” She reached out and began to absent-mindedly shred one of the flowers in the bouquet, peeling away the delicate pink rose petals one by one. “Richard, why are you here?”