Read The Clan MacDougall Series Online
Authors: Suzan Tisdale
Tags: #Historical Romance, #Love Stories, #Medieval Scotland, #Mystery, #Romance, #Scottish, #Thriller & Suspense, #Highlanders, #Love Story, #Medieval Romance, #Scotland, #Scotland Highlands
Bree could tell from his confounded expression that he did not understand. “Ya fool! Ye bring the lass here and then abandon her. Ye dunna speak to her. Ye dunna ask her how she gets along or what she does with her days. Ye avoid her at every turn. How do ye suppose that makes her feel?” She put her hands on her hips and looked thoroughly disappointed in him.
Duncan had not intended to hurt Aishlinn’s feelings. He had merely been stepping out of her way to allow her time and to give her room to grow. He had been protecting her. “I meant no’ to do that.” He could not explain to Bree the reasons behind his decision.
“Well, whether ye meant to or no’ ’tis what has happened. The poor girl thinks she’s done something to offend or anger ye.”
“Tisn’t true!” Duncan protested. “She’s done nothing.” His stomach began to fill with intense guilt.
“Matters no’ Duncan. How do ye think she should feel when ye dunna say even so much as ‘good day’ to her?”
“I meant only to give her time to make friends, to allow her to heal.” That much was true.
“And why can’t she still have ye as a friend while she makes new ones?”
He knew the real reasons why that would not work. When he was near her it was all he could do to hold himself in. It was for her own good he had avoided her.
“Ya need to go and tell her that she’s done nothing wrong and that yer just an eejit fool of a man,” Bree told him.
A look that resembled horror washed over Duncan’s face. He did not know how he could apologize without explaining the reasons for what he had done. No good could come of it, he was certain.
“Duncan, she thinks ye’ve only brotherly affections for her,” Bree said, though she knew better. “And I’ve said nothin’ to the contrary.” Bree had her suspicions about Duncan’s true feelings, but they were just that, suspicions. She had kept them to herself until now.
“I dunna ken what ye speak of,” he scowled at her. He would admit nothing, at least not now and not to Bree. His feelings were his own and he’d deal with them the best way he could.
Bree softened, not wanting to make matters worse between Duncan and Aishlinn. “Duncan, go to the lass. Tell her yer sorry and that she’s done nothing wrong. She stays in her room now and does no’ leave. She says she feels no’ well,”
His protective instincts took hold of him. “No’ well?” he asked. “Does she have the fevers?” If she were ill, he would make certain that great care was given to her.
Bree suppressed the urge to smile and instead chose to put a look of deep concern on her face. Aishlinn had fevers all right, but not the kind Duncan was thinking.
“I dunna ken, just that she has no’ left her room since two days past. She stays in her bed and does not eat.” She knew Duncan would go to her straight away if he thought Aishlinn ill. She was right for he dashed away without so much as a “good day” as he ran to the castle. Bree knew ’twas, perhaps, a devilish thing to have done, lying to Duncan as she had. But she had good intentions and knew in her heart ’twas the right thing. She tried to hide her smile as she went in search of Findley.
Duncan raced to the castle entrance, through the large gathering room and bounded up the stairs two at a time. He had made a terrible mistake by removing himself so completely from Aishlinn’s life. Now she lay in her bed ill and ’twas all his fault. If anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself.
Not bothering to knock, he flung the door open, scaring the devil out of Aishlinn. He stood in the doorway, out of breath, his forehead covered with sweat. It wasn’t the run that had done him in; it was his worry over Aishlinn.
The most confounded expression came to his face when he saw that she wasn’t lying in her bed at death’s door. She had been sitting in a chair near the open windows, but when he came crashing through the door he had startled her so much that she jumped up and knocked the chair over.
“Duncan!” she yelled at him. “What on earth is the matter?” Her first thought was that perhaps the castle was under attack and he was here to take her to safety. Her second thought, when she saw the confused look he held, was that he had lost his mind.
“Yer no’ ill.” He was surprised and relieved. He also realized he had been lied to. Bree had tricked him. He made a silent promise to remember to repay her some day.
“Nay! I’m not ill. Who told you that I was?” Confused and slightly perturbed, she straightened the chair and placed it back near the window.
“I’m sorry. I was misinformed.”
“Is that why you came bursting in here? Because you thought I was ill?” she asked him.
“Aye, I did.” He was trying to steady his breathing as well as his anger at Bree for lying to him.
Aishlinn studied him for a brief moment before she pursed her lips together and put her fists on her hips. God, how he had missed her, had missed that fire in her eyes. She shook her head and turned away from him and mumbled something under her breath.
“What was that, lass?”
“I said, a lot you care!” she shot at him from over her shoulder. She couldn’t look at him at the moment and kept her eyes glued to the land outside her windows. If she looked at him now, he might see the heartbreak hidden beneath her anger. She’d not give him that satisfaction.
“But I do care.” More than she knew.
“Is that why,” she said, finally turning to look at him, “you have avoided me at all costs for the past sennight? Is it because you care that you turn and run the other way when you see me? Is it because you care that you do not even say ‘good day’ to me?” She was angry and not afraid to let him know it.
“I’ve have been busy with me duties and responsibilities.” He was flustered and knew the conversation they were about to have would not end well for him.
“Well then, I would not want to keep you from all those important duties and responsibilities. With whom do I speak, Laird McEwan, about making an appointment with you? There is something important I wish to discuss with you,” she seethed. Duncan was certain he detected a bit of hurt to her voice. “At your convenience Laird McEwan,” she said as she curtsied elegantly before him.
He crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at her. Normally that would have been enough to cause her to back down from him. This day it did not work for she stood resolutely before him determined to hold her ground. “I have time now. What is it you wish to speak to me about?” he asked.
Cupping her hands together, she stood her ground as firmly as she could. “I wish to leave the comforts of your castle.” In all reality it was the last thing she wanted to do, but Duncan had left her no choice.
She could have stripped herself naked and begun flying about the room and he would not have been nearly as shocked as he was at the news that she wished to leave.
“What? Leave here? Why? Where will ye go?” He did not like the idea of her leaving and he would not allow it.
“I do not know. I am told I might be able to acquire a position as a scullery maid at another castle with another clan. I have worn out my welcome with you, therefore I wish to leave.”
“Who told ye that ye’ve worn out yer welcome with me?” he demanded. He would knock the fool right on his arse for spreading such lies.
She cocked her head slightly and looked at him as if he were daft. “You.”
“Me?” he asked quite dumbfounded before the truth of the matter dawned in his rather thick skull. It wasn’t what he had said; it was what he had done.
He ran his hands through his hair and tried to calm himself. “Ya’ve no’ worn out yer welcome here. I’m quite glad to have ye here, Aishlinn, and I’ll no’ allow ye to leave.”
If she could have picked up something and thrown it at him she would have. At the moment she was far too stunned and far too angry to do anything but stand with her mouth agape. “What do you mean you’ll not allow me to leave? Am I your prisoner?”
Perhaps he could have chosen a better way to put it but it was too late now. “Nay, yer no’ my prisoner, yer me guest, and ye’ll remain my guest until Angus returns. Now I’ll hear no more of ye leavin’.” He started to walk away but she stopped him.
“Pardon me, m’laird, but if this is how you treat your guests, then I’d prefer not to have that privilege thrust upon me. I wish to leave.”
If he had to put her in shackles and throw her in the oubliette to keep her from leaving, he would. “Nay. Ye’ll no’ be leavin’.”
Aishlinn took a very deep breath in through her nose and counted to ten before letting it out very slowly. It was all she could do to keep from throwing the chair at him. “Then I’m your prisoner, and not your guest.”
“Nay, yer me guest.”
Aishlinn held up her hand to stop him for it was getting all too ridiculous. “No matter what you prefer to call me, m’laird, the fact is I want to leave and you say you’ll not allow it!” She was growing increasingly frustrated with him. “I would like to know why.”
“Why what?” he asked. He’d been momentarily distracted by the way the sunlight that streamed in through the window glanced off her lovely golden hair.
Were all men this daft, she wondered? “Why will you not allow me to leave?” she demanded to know.
He had been in more battles than he could count and he had the scars on his body to prove it. He had been with many women, most whose names he could not remember. He had traveled far and wide, and had seen things that most people never knew existed. He had scaled tall mountains, sailed across the ocean during a storm that had nearly taken his life and had even survived hand-to-claw battle with a cat o’mountain that had wanted to eat him for a midday meal. He had braved it all, relished in the glory and excitement that was his life. But somehow, he could not muster the courage to tell this slip of a girl the truth.
Warriors were trained to never succumb to desperation. If you were distracted or too flustered, you could lose your life. It was vitally important to stay focused at all times. If you kept your focus and your wits about you, chances were you could survive any battle. The same however, could not be said for love.
“What kind of brother would I be if I let ye leave, to just wander the countryside trying to find a new home? I swore me allegiance to ye, Aishlinn.” For the first time in his life, Duncan had succumbed to desperation. He had blurted his answer and could only pray it would work. He simply could not tell her how he felt, at least not yet. He wasn’t sure himself just what all these feelings were that were bouncing around inside his heart and interfering with the logical part of his mind.
“Then why,” she asked, her voice soft and low, “do you ignore me? Have I done something to offend you?” She had been trying to figure out for days now, just what she had done to make him avoid her.
He let out a heavy sigh. “Nay. Ye’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve been busy.” It wasn’t an out and out lie. “And, I was tryin’ to give ye room to find yer own way, to make new friends.”
“I do not understand. Can I not make friends and have you for one as well?” she asked. “Or am I allotted only so many?”
His scowl softened as he chuckled. “Nay,” he said knowing full well she could have as many female friends as she wanted. ’Twas the men that bothered him.
“Aishlinn, I am sincerely sorry that I hurt yer feelings. I’m a daft fool of a man and I beg ye forgive me for it.”
It was quite difficult for her to stay angry with him—she felt so beholden to him for all he had done for her. He did appear sincere and perhaps he had been quite busy with his duties. She searched his face and felt he told her the truth.
“I’ll forgive you, Duncan. I know you are a very busy man and I’ll not take up anymore of your time. But,” she said, hoping that she might not sound weak or foolish when she asked her next question.
“But what, lass?”
“But could you, at least on occasion when you see me, could you not run in the other direction?” She could not admit that the first time he had done that it had nearly ripped her heart from her chest. She had to bite her tongue to keep from crying over it now.
The hurt in her voice brought a tremendous amount of guilt to his stomach. Though his intentions had been to protect her, he had in fact, ended up hurting her. “I do so promise.” He thought about taking her in his arms then, and kissing her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Holding himself in, he righted his shoulders and bowed to her. He had to leave the room before he did just that.
T
hough it was rather difficult for Duncan to hold his tongue and say nothing of his feelings for Aishlinn, he did make a concentrated effort to spend more time with her. It was both a pleasure and an agony to be so near her and not touch or kiss her. But if having some of his time meant that much to her, ’twas the least he could do.
Aishlinn had finally convinced Isobel to allow her to work in order to earn her keep. Though Isobel would have chosen more refined duties, she had relented and allowed Aishlinn to help in the kitchens. It was a job that brought great joy to Aishlinn’s heart, but none to Isobel’s. The only condition put upon the agreement was that she could work only in the mornings. Isobel did not want to risk the young woman overdoing it to the point of exhaustion. When Aishlinn had asked to move from the room next to Duncan’s, and into the solar with the other non-married women, Isobel had adamantly refused.