The Clan MacDougall Series (52 page)

He drew his feet up and pushed himself to standing. The movement caused his head to spin and he nearly fell over. Maggy didn’t rush to offer him any help, which was probably the right course of action. For if she had, he would have scooped her up, thrown her over his shoulder and carried her back to his men and her sons. That is if he could have gotten his head to quit spinning. What he wouldn’t give for a sip of the chief’s best right now.

Instead, she took a few cautious steps backwards, never taking her eyes from him. He remained where he was, putting his hand on the trunk of the tree for balance.

“I ken ye dunna believe me and I canna blame ye fer it. But do no’ go lumpin’ me or my men in with the Buchannan scum.” He hadn’t meant to sound so angry, but the pain and his frustration were quickly taking over his good senses.

“We came to offer ye help, to take ye all back to Dunshire with us if ye’d accept such an offer. And if not, we had supplies to leave ye, to help get ye through the winter.”

That much was true. Although he would not admit to anyone that had she turned down his offer to return to Dunshire with him, it would have taken a lifetime to get over the hurt.

“Now,” he said, straightening his back and resting his hands on his hips. “We can argue it all the day long if ye wish. But we be wastin’ precious time. Me men and I are goin’ to Renfrew—with or without ye, it does no’ matter to me.”

It was another lie, for there would be no way on this earth that he’d leave her or the boys out here alone. He would drag her kicking and screaming all the way to Renfrew if he had to.

“Once we make it to Renfrew, we’re tradin’ the wagons in fer horses and men.” He shook the fog from his head and began walking away.

Maggy stood with her mouth open. Did he really mean to leave her and the boys here? Alone? With God only knew how many Buchannans roaming the countryside looking for them? Certainly it was a ruse to get her to follow him and it was working. Before she realized it, her feet were moving to catch up to him.

“And then what, Findley?” she demanded.

He spun around, his face hard and angry. Maggy stopped dead in her tracks fully prepared to hurl more stones at him if necessary. “And then I plan on gettin’ Ian.”

A
voice in the back of her mind reminded her that men did nothing purely for the sake of goodness. There was always a price, always strings attached. Men were not mysterious creatures. They were beastly things. They wielded their power over others with no thought to anything but how they could increase their riches, their wealth, and obtain more power.

Her own husband had married her for those same reasons. It garnered him more wealth and he had wanted nothing else from their marriage.

It wasn’t that Maggy brought any lands, titles, or holdings to their marriage. Nay, she’d been as poor as dirt from the day she was born. And she could never figure out how her mother had been able to broker a marriage between the two of them. For reasons she was never privy to, Gawter’s uncle had promised to double Gawter’s holdings if only he’d agree to marry Maggy. Being the greedy man that he was, Gawter could not turn down such an offer.

Maggy knew she had not brought Gawter any amount of true happiness for that had not been his goal. Nay, he found his happiness in the arms of other women, not in Maggy’s. Their marriage had been a means to an end and nothing more. There had been no romance, no kind words, no handholding or long walks across their lands. It had been void of anything remotely heartfelt or sincere. It had been empty.

She had learned long ago that women were nothing more than chattel. They were traded like sheep or horses. A woman had no voice in any matter, and her opinions were of no import to anyone.

At the moment however, her heart was speaking louder than her mind. It was booming in her chest, as loud as a hundred Scottish drums, to listen, to hope.

Mayhap Findley was different. Mayhap he spoke the truth. Mayhap he was a good man who wanted only to help. Her life experiences taught her that those men were as rare as two-headed pigs.

Her heart ached with missing her son Ian and it begged her to listen to Findley. He had turned away from her and was walking, albeit a bit wobbly thanks to her true aim, back toward the clearing.

“Findley,” she called after him.

He came to a stop, hung his head and placed his hands on his hips. It wasn’t easy to tamp down the myriad of thoughts and feelings swarming in his mind and heart. He was angry with the Buchannans for burning out Maggy’s home, for killing the auld and for taking Ian. He was angry at Maggy for being so stubborn and for lumping him in with the filthy Buchannans and for causing the growing knot on his forehead.

But most of all, he was angry with himself for not having arrived weeks ago to take Maggy and her family back to Dunshire. Had he not been stabbed by an English soldier’s dirk this past summer he would have been here sooner and this whole disaster could have been avoided. And he’d be well on his way to winning her heart.

He took a deep breath and turned to face her. There was a good deal of fear and distrust simmering in those bright green eyes of hers. More anger toward the Buchannans began to boil up in his stomach, for it had been they who had made her afraid.

Findley knew the only way to rid her of her trepidation was to rescue Ian. He knew that Maggy would not rest, nor would she shed the mantle of fear draped around her heart until she had her son back in her arms. Findley would go to the ends of the earth to bring Ian back to her.

When he saw her eyes brimming with tears, what was left of his heart shattered. “Maggy,” he spoke softly. “I ken yer afraid, and rightly so. And I ken I ask a great deal of ye, to put yer trust into the hands of a stranger.”

He studied her for a moment. Her auburn braid had come loose; the long tendrils tumbled down her back. The gentle breeze ran through it like fingers and he wished it were his fingers that touched it.

“Tell me why I should believe ye,” she said quietly. Give me one reason to trust you.

Findley let out a short breath. “Lass, I dunna ken what I can say other than ask ye to trust me. I mean neither ye nor yers any harm, I only want to help.”

“But why?” She had to know the reasons behind his offer to help, elst she’d not be able to trust him.

“Because it be the right and honorable thing to do.” Had he not been fearful that she would either throw another rock to his head or turn and run like a skittish deer, he would have told her more. He would have told her of his feelings for her. Before he realized it, however, more words tumbled from his mouth. “And I be searchin’ for redemption.”

Her expression turned from fear to curiosity. Redemption? What on earth could Findley McKenna have done in his life that required redemption? The question itself was the answer. If her heart asked what he could have done that needed redeeming she fully believed that it was God’s way of telling her she could trust him. At least for now.

“Ye truly want to help me get me son back?” She would let the subject of redemption alone for now.

“Aye, I do.”

There was something fleeting in those dark brown eyes of his. Something that pleaded with her to believe him.

She swallowed hard before taking a deep breath. “I’ll take yer offer of help.”

His shoulders relaxed as he let out a sigh of relief. A wry smile came to his face. “Will ye be puttin’ down yer weapons now?” he asked, staring at the stones she still held in her hands.

She fought the urge to return his captivating smile. “Nay,” she told him as she tucked the stones into the pocket of her apron. “I may need them yet.”

Findley took her words as a warning. She’d trust him only in so far as he’d not bring physical harm to her or her boys. Her trust was only temporary.

She maintained a safe distance as they walked back toward the clearing. Findley allowed her the space she needed, understanding she held a good deal of reservation about him. He could not say that he blamed her for being unable to trust men.

As they stepped into the clearing, Findley whistled, a clear signal to his men that all was well. Moments later, his men stepped forward, peering cautiously at Findley and Maggy. The boys raced toward her and smothered her with hugs.

When Wee William caught a glimpse of Maggy for the first time, he came to a dead stop at the edge of the clearing. The most peculiar look had come to his face. His eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open. Patrick came and stood beside his friend who at the moment appeared to be made of stone.

“What be the matter, Wee William?” he asked as he followed Wee William’s gaze. His own eyes fell to Maggy then. A bonny woman, aye, but her beauty didn’t have the same effect on Patrick as it had on William.

“Wee William?” Patrick asked, nudging the man from his trance with an elbow to his ribs.

Wee William swallowed hard and whispered. “I’d shave me beard and cut me hair if she asked me to.”

“N
ay,” Findley said firmly. “Ye’ll go to our keep in Dunshire. Ye’ll not be going against the Buchannans with us.”

Five sets of very determined and angry eyes glared at him. Findley could well understand their desire to do whatever they could to get Ian back. However, four young lads and a woman weren’t the kind of help he needed to lay siege to the Buchannan keep.

“Findley,” Maggy began. “Ian is me son. I’ll not sit idly by whilst ye and yer men attempt to rescue him.”

Insulted, Findley’s eyes turned to dark slits. “Attempt?” he asked. “Do ye no’ think I can get him back?”

Maggy took a deep breath. “I dinna say that.” She stared back at him. “I’m sayin’ ye’ll not do it without me.”

Under different circumstances he might well have found her stubbornness appealing and attractive. As it was, they were wasting valuable time arguing the point. If they would just get in the wagons they could discuss the matter as they rode to Renfrew. But nay, Maggy and her boys refused to board the wagons until they had his promise that they would be allowed to assist in retrieving Ian.

“Maggy, I ken ye want yer son back.”

She drew her lips into a firm line as she stared back at him. “Aye. I do,” she told him.

“If ye’ll just get into the wagon, we can discuss it on our way to Renfrew.”

“Not until I have yer promise ye’ll not try to send me to yer keep.”

If he had arrived days ago, days before the Buchannans had attacked, she may well have been tempted to accept his offer to foster her sons and live amongst his clan. But now, everything had changed and she could no longer afford the luxury of pretending she and her sons could ever live out a normal existence. She wondered just how much Findley knew about her or Liam. She also wondered if he knew the real reasons behind the attack.

His patience had been stretched thin. He realized that logic would not play into any decision she might make this day.

“Fine. I promise I’ll no’ try to send ye back to my keep,” he told her. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t leave her safely in Renfrew.

“Ye promise?” she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

He grunted. “Maggy!” He was growing more frustrated by the moment. “I promise I’ll no’ send ye to me keep! Now please,” he lowered his voice, doing his best not to yell, but his patience was wearing thin. “Get into the wagons.”

She had been married to a master liar and manipulator for five years. She saw right through Findley’s lie. Deciding she wanted nothing more than to move forward, she would for now, allow him this one lie. While he might keep his promise not to send her to Dunshire, more likely than not he would skirt the issue and leave her and her boys either in Renfrew or some other place along the way.

“Fine,” she said. “We’ll go to Renfrew.” But she had no intentions of remaining there.

Findley let out a relieved breath and nodded to his men while Maggy gave a curt nod to her boys and headed toward the wagons.

“Robert,” Wee William called to the boy. “Have ye ever driven a wagon?”

Robert raced up to stand before Wee William. “Nay, but I imagine I can learn.”

Wee William gave the boy an approving nod and Robert scurried up the wagon. Wee William gave him a few quick instructions before untying the leads from the brake and handing them to him.