The Click Trilogy (59 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Tell the truth
I know just what to do!
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 11:32 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Chocolates!
Hey there. Just wanted to see if you got the chocolates we sent to cheer you up?
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 11:34 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Yes, they arrived an hour ago but there's a bite taken out of each one.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 11:36 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
I took a bite out of each one because I couldn't wait to share. Ha! Ha!
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 11:38 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
They are delicious. I've eaten half the box already.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 11:41 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Slow down! I know this has been a bit of a shock for you and a challenge, but you'll get through this. Chocolate is not the answer.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 11:43 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
If it's not the answer, then why did you send them?
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 11:45 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Okay smart ass, chocolate is the answer. But half a box before noon is not the answer.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 11:46 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 11:48 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
This seems to be beyond your normal malaise. What's up?
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 11:51 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
I don't want to say. It was so nice of you to send the candy and I don't want you to feel bad.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 11:54 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
I won't feel bad. Clearly all of this time off of work is turning your brain to mush. I don't have remorse or regrets, remember? So…
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 11:56 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
The only other time I've ever been fired is when I worked at the candy store when I was in high school. Eating the chocolates is just reminding me of being a failure.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 11:58 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
First of all, you are not a failure. Second, take that piece of chocolate out of your mouth.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 11:59 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
How did you know I was eating a piece of candy?
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:00 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Because I am your best friend and I know you.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:00 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Okay. I spit it out.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:01 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
No, you didn't.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:02 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Okay. I really did this time.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Good girl. Now tell me what happened with the candy store.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:09 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
I had only been working there a few weeks. The owner was this heavy set, elderly Scandinavian woman named Wally. (Yes,
her
name was Wally.) I was in the front of the store and she was in the back room doing paperwork.
I went back to ask her a question and found her lying on the floor on her back. I panicked, started to freak out a bit and leaned over shaking her to see if she was conscious. She woke up startled and said she was just taking a nap.
I looked around the room and saw a chair and a couch, so I wondered why she was lying on the floor to sleep. She said she didn't think I was mature enough to handle the job and that she needed to let me go.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:11 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
So she was sleeping on the floor instead of on the couch?
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:13 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Exactly! I don't think it was a stretch for me to think that she was ill.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:15 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Sweetie, if I saw an old, fat lady lying on the ground, I would have thought the same thing, too. But I seem to recall you worked there for two summers, no?
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:17 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
She hired me back a few weeks later.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:21 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
So the lesson isn't that you once got let go for "being a failure" as you call it. Rather, you were hired back because she realized she needed you.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:22 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
I guess.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:25 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
What do you mean, "I guess?" This is just further evidence that you were and still are an amazing, hard working, fantastic asset. So get that piece of chocolate out of your damn mouth.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:26 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
How did you do that?
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:28 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Stop questioning my abilities…and yours too. Would it cheer you up to hear that I was once fired from a job?
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:30 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Really? Where was this?
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:32 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
I was doing an internship in the HR department at Coke in Atlanta.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:34 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
You never told me you got fired from your internship at Coke. I thought it just ended because summer was over. Despite being unaware of this, my mind is already reeling at the possibilities. I could use a good laugh. Do tell.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:41 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
No, I was asked to leave. It was 2001 and I was between my junior and senior years of college. My boss in the sales department was this rather bland looking middle aged man named Booker. He liked to go fishing and listen to cool jazz and country music. He was always going on and on about his equally bland-looking wife and their equally bland-looking children. He was BOR-ING! So much so, I called him...you guessed it...Boring Booker. (I wasn't as clever at nicknames as I am now).
One day he sneezed and I said, "You are sooooo good looking." (You know, from Seinfeld.) Well, Booker took this as a sign that I was interested in him. As if! He didn't make a move on me, thankfully. I must give him props for that. I am hard to resist. He just told his wife all about his desires who then told him that I had to go.
HR was called in and basically told me that I was too sexy for my boss to resist and in order to help him preserve his marriage, I was being fired. The injustice and sheer ridiculousness of it is what led me into HR, which eventually morphed into recruiting.
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:45 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
You got fired for being hot! That's just making me more depressed. And honestly, I was thinking it would be more of a Monica Lewinsky/Blue Dress-type story.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2013 – 12:48 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Sorry to disappoint. And I've always been hot, Sweetie, so no need to be depressed about it now. I want you to put the chocolates away, go take a shower ('cause I know you haven't done that yet today!) and buck up. You hear me?
From: Renee Greene – October 25, 2013 – 12:50 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Chocolates!
Yes, ma'am. Thanks, Shel. Love you!
From: Renee Greene – October 31, 2013 – 1:34 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL
Please give my sweet angel Siobhan a big hug and kiss from Auntie Renee and wish her the happiest of birthdays for me. Can't wait to see her to celebrate.
From: Ashley Gordon – October 31, 2013 – 3:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL
Thanks, Renee. I can't believe she's already a year old.
From: Renee Greene – October 31, 2013 – 3:47 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL
I know. Crazy, right? Has it just flown by?
From: Ashley Gordon – October 31, 2013 – 3:49 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL
The days drag on, but the months have flown by.
From: Renee Greene – October 31, 2013 – 3:51 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ANGEL
Hmm. That's interesting, but after babysitting her for a weekend, I can totally see that. We'll see you soon for her party.
From: Shelley Manning – October 31, 2013 – 7:02 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Happy birthday to Siobhan
Hi, Ashley. Hope Siobhan has a great first birthday. Sorry Nick and I can't be there to help her celebrate. But hopefully you got the gift I sent.
From: Ashley Gordon – October 31, 2013 – 7:04 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Happy birthday to Siobhan
Yes, we got the musical hand bells. She hasn't stopped ringing them.
From: Shelley Manning – October 31, 2013 – 7:06 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Happy birthday to Siobhan
Fantastic. She's already using and enjoying them. Give her a Mwah! Mwah! from me.
From: Shelley Manning – October 31, 2013 – 7:08 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: Happy birthday to Siobhan
I figured Ashley would "ring my bell" when she got them. Ha-larious!
From: Renee Greene – October 31, 2013 – 7:10 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Happy birthday to Siobhan
You are wicked. What are you going to do next year to enliven Siobhan and madden Ashley?
From: Shelley Manning – October 31, 2013 – 7:13 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Happy birthday to Siobhan
Oh, I've got a whole list of passive/aggressive gifts that kids will love and parents will hate. Just wait until she's old enough for glitter! That shit gets everywhere.
From: Renee Greene – October 31, 2013 – 7:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Happy birthday to Siobhan
You know she'll make some sort of "stripper" comment when you give Siobhan glitter.
From: Shelley Manning – October 31, 2013 – 7:16 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Happy birthday to Siobhan
Well, then that's just a nice bonus. Mwah! Mwah!