The Club Sin Series 4-Book Bundle (34 page)

Wednesday came and went with Aidan dropping Cora off at home to do what she had planned on her days off—grocery-shop, clean the house, and veg on the couch. They hadn't discussed her tears the night earlier, and Cora was glad. When they had woken in the tent, Aidan had returned to being his same old distant self.

He seemed happy and at ease, comfortable with her. Yet he looked at her as a friend, and that hadn't been what she wanted. Not in the least. While she had told herself not to hope that he was finally facing life with eyes open, the second he smiled at her that morning all she saw was his pain.

Aidan didn't wrap his arms around her and say,
I'm never letting you go
.

Nothing had changed.

By Thursday morning, Cora felt a little off-kilter. Even a telephone call from Presley asking about her camping trip hadn't helped her recover. Something inside of Cora had changed that night with him. Though she couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, all she knew was that she felt…
different
.

A little unsteady and emotional.

On Friday afternoon and in her office, she carefully dropped down on the polka-dot pillow. Over the rim of her coffee mug, Cora studied the four sixteen-year-olds sitting in a small circle.

Amanda, the petite strawberry blonde, said, “I told my parents yesterday that I've had sex.”

Cora sipped her vanilla mocha. “I'm glad you did that, Amanda. How did they take it?”

Her cheeks burned bright red. “Dad was angry and started yelling, but then Mom came to my room later…” She hesitated, picking on her blue jean flint. “She told me about her first time, and that it was around my age.” Amanda lifted her head and gave a small smile. “It was nice, you know…talking to her like that.”

Cora grinned. “I'm really proud of you. Talking to your parents about stuff is tough, but it's good you were brave and honest.” The moment the words left her mouth, a wave of sickness
washed over her. She gave advice that she wasn't doing herself.

Hypocritical much, Cora?

She turned to the brunette wearing the Lady Gaga T-shirt. Tammy had arrived at the clinic after tumbling into a life of marijuana and alcohol. “And your week, Tammy, how did it go?”

Her green eyes softened with her shrug. “Not so bad. I went to every class this week, but I'm not ready to go there.” She shook her head, scrunching up her nose. “You know, to talk to the 'rents about
stuff
.”

“That's all right.” Cora looked to the other two girls in the group. “You don't need to rush yourselves. Remember, though, your parents brought you here because they care about you and want to understand what's going on in your lives.” She lowered her coffee cup, balancing it onto her crossed legs. “For now, you have us to talk to, right?”

Tammy peeked up at Cora through her long lashes. “Yep.”

Amanda shifted the pillows at her back, curling up like a little cat in the sun, making her appear the young teen she was. Some of the teens in her group seemed so grown-up and wise. Amanda's eyes twinkled at Cora. “What about you? Did you have anything exciting happen this week?”

Cora wondered when this would come up. She shared as much as she could with the teens she counseled. It got them talking, broke down barriers to gain their trust. “I actually went camping with a
boy
.”

The girls giggled, and Katy, the sweet blonde with giant curls, asked, “Was he cute?”

Cora nodded. “Very cute.”

“Is he your boyfriend?” Nicole, the most recent addition to the group, asked.

Cora's throat thickened. As it had the night she and Aidan had been intimate, her strength crumbled. There in his arms, touched by him so sweetly, a flood of emotions had changed everything.

Emotions she couldn't run from any longer.

That side of Aidan, who was unguarded and happy with her, was something she had always wanted. She wanted a life with him. She craved for more of those sweet moments that a normal couple had. A relationship with him seemed so close she could touch it, but it was still an illusion. He wasn't with her for the right reasons.

Now that she'd seen that affectionate side of him, she couldn't forget it. She'd tasted happiness, but that's as far as it would go. An icy chill stormed through her veins. For the first time she realized Aidan couldn't let go of Lily—not for her, not for anyone.

Under the examination of the girls, tightness formed in Cora's chest. She forced a grin. “I'm afraid we're just friends.”

“Oh, he's crazy.” Amanda bounced on her pillow with dancing eyes. “You're so pretty.”

“Well, thank you.” Cora smiled.

“So, do you like him?” Tammy asked.

Cora glanced to her coffee cup and squeezed her fingers around the mug. “He's very nice. We get along really well.”

“Why don't you ask him to be your boyfriend?” Amanda asked.

He can't love me. He is in love with someone else
. She lifted her head, staring at innocent eyes that hadn't been jaded by the sometimes difficult side to relationships. For now, she gave a clinical answer: “I should be honest with him, shouldn't I?”

Every head nodded.

Katy said, “That's what you'd tell us to do.”

It should be that simple.

Two people who got along, had great chemistry, and laughed together should make for a great couple. Life, though, was way more complicated than a simple clinical answer.

The rest of Cora's day went by with some private sessions and ended with a mountain of charts to fill out. Later that night, when Cora arrived at the dungeon, the conversation with the teens hadn't faded from her mind. When she had entered Club Sin, she inhaled the scent of sex and sweat in the dungeon, though somehow instead of heating her up, it brought ice to her bones.

Standing off to the right of the spanking bench, Master Aidan had bound her wrists at her back with black hemp rope. She gazed out to the dungeon; most ignored her scene, except for Master Dmitri, Master Kyler, and Porter. They all kept a steady gaze on her. She wore only her black high heels and her legs were spread wide, as her heart hammered with the speed of the techno music.

For ten minutes Master Aidan merely watched her, every so often touching her. Sweat dripped along her spine, and the room closed in on her. Every sound, every move the members made in the dungeon, seemed done on a larger scale. The club didn't seem as dark as it usually
did. It seemed lit up, with her as the center of tonight's entertainment.

Cora focused, pushing past the nerves trembling within. She closed her eyes and begged the strength inside to rise up. Aidan slid a finger down her arm, and she gritted her teeth. This wasn't the Aidan she met while camping. His touch held no warmth. His touch felt like a Dom under duty to a submissive.

“Open your eyes.”

Master Aidan's curt command snapped her eyes open. A dark gaze regarded her as he moved to the side. Cora swallowed, looking from face to face, Master Dmitri to Master Kyler to Porter—these were all people she loved and respected. She shifted on her feet, her stomach churning and tingles rushing up her body.

Run!

“Stay put.”

Cora froze at Master Aidan's low, sharp voice.

She drew in a slow breath, wishing he'd get on with their scene. In fact, she was close to begging him to stop stalling. She craved to focus inward on sensations, instead of on his hesitation.

More so, on the pleasure he unleashed.

When his fingers slid across her hip, sickness engulfed her and she flinched. He dropped his hand and came to her front, taking her chin in hand. When he caught her gaze, her skin overheated.

He examined her with a long look before he sighed, lowering his hand. Keeping his gaze on her face, he ran his touch along her shoulder. Cora clenched her fists and bit her lip.
What is wrong with you?

You want him…you want this!

His touch was rough and hard…and all wrong. As he slid his fingers down her arm, her body shut down and she cringed. He dropped his hand and stepped back. “Where are you?”

“Right here, sir.”

Slowly, he shook his head. “No, Cora. You're definitely not here.”

Over his shoulder, the world spun before she caught sight of Master Kyler. He'd taken a few steps forward, standing only a few feet away. His arms were folded as his gaze was locked onto her, making her feel small. Then she spotted Master Dmitri sitting in a chair with his elbows
on his legs as he also watched her intently. Porter was in a similar position.

Cora battled against the swell of emotion, catching her breath.
Fuck!

Master Aidan closed in on her. He had his emotions in check. “Cora, we're done.”

The spinning world slowed down as the air evaporated from the room. “Done, sir?”

His posture was stiff, muscles rigid, and his neck was corded. He moved in behind her, and with a tug Cora's hands came free. The falling of the rope to the ground made her heart fall right along with it.

No!

Nausea clenched Aidan's stomach. Every plan he'd made, every hope he'd had, meant nothing. In the days since he'd seen Cora, something had changed. It wasn't for the better.

He'd never believed Cora could look weaker than she had that first night he'd noticed her pain. Whatever was bothering her had gotten to a point that his pride held no restraint against the truth.

Kyler was right—Aidan was the problem.

The moment Cora had entered Club Sin, he'd seen her cautious eyes, and the dark circles resting beneath him. At first he'd wondered if she had a few rough days at work. It had happened before. But the longer the scene went on, the more guarded she became.

Once naked, and ready to play, Cora had begun shaking. Her eyes had widened and she had paled. Through the last fifteen minutes of simply watching her and fighting to understand her headspace, he'd drawn all focus onto her, not to misread her reactions.

Within minutes of their interaction, a bigger problem presented itself. She recoiled from his touch. Never, not once in the time he had trained her, and even after a punishment, when it'd been expected, had she rejected him.

He fought to make sense out of what happened between camping and now, but he had enough insight to know she was in serious trouble. As the rope dropped to the ground, sounding much heavier than it should have, all the strength drained from his body and a sense of failure made him sick.

The longest second of his life went by before Cora turned to him. Her eyes were frantic. “No, please don't.”

Christ, she looked beautiful. The rejection in her gaze was the ugliest thing he'd ever
seen. His lungs constricted, making it hard to breathe. The pain in her eyes—he'd somehow caused that, too. His heart ached as he watched her struggle. He wanted to hold her and fix her problems. Instead, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

She'd showed him tonight his touch didn't help, it hurt.

He softened his voice to keep their conversation private. “You're not in the right headspace.”

“Master Aidan…” She shook her head, blinking. It never returned life to her empty gaze. “No, please don't do this, sir.”

His gut twisted. That sadness he'd first seen and hoped he could fix fucking ruined him. “I can't play with you like this.” He took a step back, shutting down any connection. “I won't.”

She raised her wrists, offering them for his rope. “Sir, no, please, I'm fine. Sorry, I was thinking there…”

His breathing became restricted at her begging. He didn't know what he had done wrong. And he surely didn't want a submissive begging when, in fact, she loathed his touch. “You're safe-wording.”

“I'm not.” Her lip quivered, voice trembling. “I never said the club's safe word,
Dragon
.”

“You don't have to say it with your voice.” He clenched his fists in his pocket, ignoring his desire to gather her in his arms. He forced himself to remember that his touch was the worst thing for her. Whatever he'd done, it had damaged the trust between them. He couldn't help her now, but he could prevent it from getting worse. “Your body is screaming it at me.”

“No, sir, that's not true,” she whispered.

Seeing that misery in her features fucking destroyed him. He took a step forward, craving to hold her until she only felt loved. Then he froze.
Don't touch her
. “I don't know what I've done…” He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “As much as I wanted—and hoped—that I could help you, we seem to be at an impasse, Cora.”

Aidan had thought that night camping together had been wonderful. He'd thought about it ever since, and smiled every time at the memory. “When you cried in my arms…I assumed it changed things…” The tightening of his chest and quivering of his muscles forced his mouth closed.

“It did.” Her voice cracked as she continued to hold out her wrists. “But I…”

Aidan's heart sank, and he couldn't hear any more. He didn't want to accept that as her
Dom he had failed her. Nor could he admit that he'd crushed the trust. Everything he lived for, all the morals that made him who he was, shattered. “I'm not giving you what you need, Cora.”

“You
do
give me what I need, sir.” She lowered her arms as if he'd placed weights on them. Tears welled in her eyes. “Please, don't do this.”

The dungeon had never looked so dark, empty, and cold. Though he noticed that most of the members who had stopped to watch the show had vanished, Kyler, Porter, and Dmitri remained.

His friends looked to him with sympathy, even though Kyler's eyes were flinty, indicating that Aidan was somehow at fault. All his actions weren't without thought or purpose to help her. He narrowed his eyes on Kyler, his nostrils flaring.