The Coil (20 page)

“Yes, Sarah babysits for me on occasion. She’s a good friend. Can you tell me what happened?”

“I believe Sarah knows the details. They’re just through here.”

He was led into a quiet room that was anything but quiet, and the scene that greeted him made his heart sink. Sarah knelt in front of Jamie, giving him his distance but speaking soothingly to him to try and calm him down. But Jamie was past that point. He was past the point of humming or reciting his numbers. He was sitting on a small couch, either thumping himself in his knees with his little balled up fists, or slapping the sides of his head and ears as he sobbed his heart out. Sarah spotted Simon and tried to tell Jamie that his daddy was there, but Jamie was already following his instincts and was trying to lie on the couch in an attempt to roll back and forth.

It was at times like this where he had to make a judgment call. If merely distressed but not at the point of having a full-blown fit, it was usually best to leave Jamie to calm himself down. Trying to touch him at that point would only escalate his anxiety. However, if Jamie were already in a full panic, then he needed pressure against his body. The pressure against his back and front would slow his heart rate and allow him to gradually calm down.

There was no doubt in his mind what to do, and though initially it would frighten Jamie further, he strode forward, and Sarah automatically moved out of the way, knowing what he was going to do and closing the door to give them privacy. He did the only thing he could at that moment, and pulled Jamie off of the couch and into his arms. Jamie’s cries instantly grew into a wail that tore his heart right open, but he held the full length of him against his chest, wrapping his arms tight around him and making soft shushing noises.

Eventually Jamie’s legs stopped kicking against him, and he rested his cheek underneath Simon’s chin and against his chest as his loud screaming became nothing more than an unhappy and downright woeful cry of a little boy who had been frightened terribly.

“Shh, we’re all better. That’s my good boy. Daddy’s here now, hey?” Eventually he was able to turn Jamie sideways and sit with him on his lap. He rubbed his back and rocked him gently. He looked over at Sarah, and even she looked harried from the experience and as if she might want to cry herself. “Are you all right?” he asked her.

She waved him off and sat across from him. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. It’s just, no matter how used to it you get, it’s still difficult to watch a child become that upset when you’re powerless to help them, you know?”

“Oh, I know, all right.” He nodded over to the table beside Sarah with a box of tissue on top. “Can you pass me a couple of those?”

She handed over the box, and he pulled a tissue out and craned his neck back to get a look at Jamie’s face. “Let me see, baby.”

Jamie looked up, and Simon swallowed hard around the lump in his throat when seeing his small face, red and blotchy from his crying. “That’s it, good boy.” He wiped at his damp cheeks and then grabbed another tissue to hold over his nose. “Give a big old blow now.”

Exhausted from his upset, Jamie did as he was told and blew as hard as he could, which wasn’t much. Still, Simon wiped his nose clean and kissed his forehead gently. “We’re going to have a little sit here, okay? Then we’re going to go home, maybe play with Gizmo, or do some coloring and drawing. Does that sound good?” Simon gave him a gentle bounce and was relieved to see him nod and then rest his head back against his chest.

Once he knew that Jamie was settled and that he himself felt calm enough, he turned to Sarah. “All right, start to finish, what happened?”

She let out a heavy sigh, her shoulders slumping. “I left him on the bench to go check on one of the other kids. He was perfectly fine eating his lunch. Next thing I know, I turn around to check on him and there’s a woman sitting beside him that I didn’t recognize. I immediately headed back, but before I could ask who she was, she tried to hug him and….” She trailed off with an upturned palm. “It was zero to sixty. She frightened him quite badly, I’m afraid.”

“Well, no wonder.
God
,” he bit off furiously. “She knows he’s autistic. Why the hell would she do something so
stupid
?”

“I don’t know, but… Simon, I had no choice but to pick him up. The other kids were getting scared. I had to pick him up and carry him in here. I think that’s what really set him off.”

“It’s all right,” he reassured her. “You did the right thing. Did she leave?”

“No. She saw her mistake right away, Simon. She explained who she was, and she’s been apologizing ever since. She didn’t want to leave. I think she wants to see you—”

“Not a chance.” He stood, pulling his bag strap over one shoulder.

“Simon, please, she’s your mother. I know she—”

“We’ve talked about this before, Sarah. And right now I don’t want Jamie to see her. It might set him off again.”

“I understand that, but can I at least give her a message?”

“Yeah, you can tell that if she pulls a stunt like that again I’m calling the cops.”

“Simon,
please
.”

“
What
?” he snapped and then closed his eyes in frustration and gently cupped the back of Jamie’s head when he began to hum. He needed to calm down; otherwise Jamie would pick up on his mood and the whole upsetting ordeal would start over. “I’m sorry, Sarah,” he began again, more calmly this time. “But I don’t think you fully understand the relationship I have with my mother.”

“You’ve explained the situation to me. I get that she let you down when you were younger,” she said softly. “And I understand that you haven’t forgiven her for trying to take you to court, and
today
probably hasn’t helped much either, but she’s asking to speak to you. Now I know she’s gone the wrong way about it, but couldn’t this be her backward version of an olive branch?”

“Sounds to me like she was trying to snatch him.”

She shook her head. “I really don’t think that, Simon. She said she just wanted to see him, that’s all. She absolutely did it the wrong way, but honestly? She just looks like a lonely old lady.”

Simon sighed. Damn it. “There’s a lot of bad blood between us, Sarah. I don’t know if it can ever be right between us again.”

“What about Jamie?”

“I’m trying to
protect
Jamie.”

“I know this isn’t my business, and that I’m taking liberties here, but it sounds to me like you’re trying to protect yourself.”

“That is
not
the case.”

“So what if you never see eye to eye with her again? Is your relationship with her to mean Jamie doesn’t get to have a grandparent, just like most other kids?”

“That’s not fair, Sarah.”

“No, it’s not. But Jamie’s entire family is
you
. He trusts only two people, and they are standing in this room. There is no downfall for him here; he would only gain. He could let another person into his life, and he could have a female influence around that isn’t his teacher.”

“We do just fine by ourselves, Sarah. He doesn’t need a female influence.”

“You’re right; you are a fantastic father, but what if I suddenly get a job elsewhere? What if I move or get married and can’t sit for you anymore? Then it’s back to just you in his life.
One person
, Simon. What if, God forbid, something happened to you? What would happen to him then?”

He closed his eyes tight, gently swaying Jamie in his arms. She had a good point. It was just difficult to imagine putting aside the anger he felt toward his mother, especially after today. “Fine,” he said in a low voice. “But I don’t want to see her now. I don’t want Jamie around when I speak to her.”

She nodded quickly. “I’ll come by around six tonight to pick him up.”

“All right, can you get the door please?”

She walked him out and through the gates of the school, away and in the opposite direction from where his mother was apparently sitting in the school’s reception waiting area, wondering if she were about to be arrested or see her son for the first time in nearly a year.

“Simon?” Sarah said gently. “You know that you have my support, don’t you? You know I’m on your side? I’m just thinking of Jamie here.”

He leaned close and kissed her cheek. “I know, and I’d be lost if I didn’t have you to push me in the right direction every now and then.”

“Good. I’ll tell her to come by your place around six thirty.”

Simon nodded, and watched as she turned to walk back through the gates. “Sarah?” he called, and she turned back. His brow creased with worry. “You’re not really moving away, are you?”

She smiled. “No, you foolish man.”

“
O
KAY
….” Ty began. “So in the fourth stanza, what does the dark line cutting through the snow represent?”

“Give me the choices.”

“Come on, Mattie,” Ty groaned, frustrated. “Get with it. Just try to think it through first.”

“It’s a multiple choice test!”

“So what? Try and learn it this way. Then when you’re taking the test, hopefully you might be thinking of an answer automatically before reading the choices.”

“It’s taking a hell of a lot longer this way, and I’ve got a lot of material to go through.”

“You’ve only got so long to
do
the fucking test. I’m trying to get you to think for yourself, to give you a better chance!”

“I’d have a better chance if we could get through the rest of these textbooks!” He closed the cover of the literature textbook and shoved it forward, across the table.

“No, you’d have a better chance if you’d stop daydreaming about your fucking boyfriend and listen to me!”

“Why are we yelling at each other?”

“I don’t fucking know!”

Mattie fought to not smile. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Please!” Ty threw the study guide onto the kitchen table and leaned back in his chair with a groan, running his hands through his hair. “On a serious note, Mattie, you need to get your head out of the clouds. You’ve been distracted all afternoon.”

Mattie glanced back over his shoulder as he poured the coffee and quickly looked away again. “I’m just worried about him.”

“He called you to tell you the kid was fine.”

“I know, but the thing with his mom….”

“Oh Christ, he’s a grown man, Mattie. You’ve got more important shit to be thinking about.”

Mattie stopped himself from cussing out his best friend, but Ty’s attitude toward Simon was beginning to piss him off. “You don’t understand. You don’t know how his mother is.”

“Oh please, and you do?”

He paused before setting the mug down in front of Ty, surprised at the very transparent dislike he could hear in his buddy’s voice. “Yeah, I do.”

“Oh, so he’s introduced you to her?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Ty. He’s introduced his boyfriend to his homophobic mother. In fact, I had her over for tea and cookies just the other day.”

“What about his friends, this Sarah person. Does she know you exist?”

“Oh, fuck off, Ty.” He sat heavily in his chair.

Ty raised his eyebrow sarcastically and reached for his mug to take a sip. “I’ll take that as a no. What about his kid?”

“Why are you being such an ass?”
Please don’t burst my bubble.

“Have you even been over to his house, or do you just hang out here?”
Where no one can see you together.
The words were unspoken, but hung in the air between them nonetheless.

He didn’t want to have this conversation. He and Simon were at a good place. He didn’t want that spoiled by anyone. “We hang out at the diner.” It was a feeble comeback, and he knew it.

Ty just sighed and looked down into his mug. “I’m not trying to be a dick here, honest, but I am not going to let some guy who you’re all hot and bothered over fuck up your—”

“Will you give me some credit?
Jesus
.”

Ty blinked in surprise. “What?”

“It’s a lot more serious than that, all right?”

Ty frowned and then looked down into his mug. “That’s what’s getting to me here, Mattie.”

“What are you
talking
about?”

“You’re on cloud fucking nine, and he’s—” He glanced away a moment, looking guilty. “—and he’s not, all right? I’m sorry to say that, but—”

Stunned for a second, Mattie all but burst out of his chair. “That is
not
true, and do you get what a horrible fucking thing that is to say?”

Ty’s voice became soft, which just made it worse. “I’m sorry, Mattie, but I don’t think he’s worth the effort. You should be treated better. You should want
more
.”

“He treats me just fine, thank you.”

Ty held his hands palms up. “Okay, okay. I mean… I guess I don’t know what you’re like in private together, so….”

“We’re boyfriends in private. If he’s reserved at the diner, it’s because he’s working and so am I.”

Ty hunched his shoulders, his hands up again in defense. “
Okay
, God. I’m sorry, all right? It’s just… I want so much for you to do well, and you’re just distracted and fucking it up. You are so fucking close, Mattie. You can do this. You’re smart. You can get your GED. You could even make it to New York… but only if you make every effort. And just recently… well, it’s like you don’t even care anymore.”

Mattie swallowed, turning sideways in his chair to look away from Ty and rest his elbow on the table, his hand running over the back of his head. He bit his lip. “Maybe my goals have changed a bit.”

Ty rolled his eyes and stood, shoving the kitchen chair with its torn seat cover roughly under the small table. “I fucking knew it.” He stalked into the living room and all but threw himself onto the couch, his head back as he rubbed his hands over his face.

Mattie stood hesitantly, hovering in between the two connected rooms. He rubbed at his left elbow absently. “I still want my GED, Ty, but… I don’t want to go now. I’ve got something better waiting for me here.”

“No.” Ty shook his head.

“Ty—”

“
No
, Mattie. Do you hear me? I said no!”