The Coil (19 page)

“Hey, yourself. Are you on lunch?”

“Yup, do you want a few more minutes to finish where you were?”

Appreciating the offer, he nodded and rounded up the notes he was working on, glancing over his laptop as Mattie blew on his cup of soup. He grinned to himself; just about everything this man did lately turned him on. The shift in their relationship—he was admitting to himself that, yes, they had some sort of casual relationship—had come from his playing a more dominant role in the bedroom. For some reason, to begin with he had decided to merely follow Mattie’s lead, perhaps still stunned that a guy like Mattie was so attracted to him in the first place. Now that they’d had their small fight, and Simon had finally admitted to himself that he wanted Mattie, he had turned a corner of sorts and returned to what felt more natural to him in bed. And while he never said no when Mattie decided to take charge for an evening—those were some of the more spectacular evenings that came to mind—he felt more himself playing the instigator and the more dominant of the two.

“You’re asking for it.” He grinned.

Mattie looked up, innocent and oblivious. “Huh?”

“Blowing on your soup like that.”

Mattie snorted and shook his head, going back to his soup, but Simon could tell he was pleased. “I mean it. Here I am trying to work, and you come over being all sexy with your tomato and basil soup.”

Mattie laughed quietly. “Stop being cute.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “Stop being all sexy, and I’ll stop being cute.”

It was ridiculous, really. They’d been seeing each other for a few months now, and had only just hit that honeymoon period where the flirting was second nature and the texting at night was downright dirty. He felt as if he were back in his twenties. He was beginning to remember his old self before he became a father, but instead of reminiscing on this, he felt as if he were now a pleasant mixture of his past and present. He felt a small part himself, that had been the carefree Simon with the world at his feet, meshed with the stay-at-home dad in him. And thinking about it, that was exactly the person he wanted to be, because even though he missed how his life had been before Jamie, he realized that he didn’t want to give up who he was now. That had a lot to do with the person sitting opposite him, throwing him shy glances over his cup of soup.

“Anyhoozles, how’s the writing going?” Mattie frowned slightly and reached a hand across the table to where his satchel lay open and pulled out the small plastic wrapper that had caught his eye.

Simon watched, taking a moment to save the document he had open. “It’s going really well, actually. I thought it would be absolute hell to begin with, but I’ve got the hunger back, and the ideas are just flowing. I’ve missed this feeling.”

“That is so great.” Mattie held up the packet with the end twisted shut and lifted his brows in question as he took another sip of his soup. “I didn’t know you had a sweet tooth.”

“I don’t. Jamie got it into his head that he wanted gummy bears for breakfast.” He shrugged guiltily. “Not exactly healthy, I know, but I was helpless against those big brown eyes, so….”

Mattie laughed quietly. “You big softy.”

He shrugged. “I was just kind of thrilled that he wanted something other than Lucky Charms for once.”

He took the packet from Mattie. It was still half-full. “I guess he changed his mind.” He smiled softly. “Jamie has this habit of putting empty wrappers, juice boxes—anything he doesn’t want or is done with—in my briefcase or bag. I’m not sure why.”

“Cute kid just keeps getting cuter.” Mattie shook his head.

Simon decided he liked hearing how fond Mattie sounded of Jamie, despite their limited introduction quite a while ago. He popped a gummy bear in his mouth and then held the packet open toward Mattie in invitation.

Mattie shook his head no, and then nodded toward Simon’s laptop. “I think I’m proud of you.”

“You think?”

He nodded and hunched his shoulders as he rested both elbows on the table and took another sip of his soup. He seemed to almost regret his comment.

“I know you don’t need me being all proud of you, or whatever, but uh—I am anyway. It takes balls to move away from what’s familiar and safe—trying something new.”

He didn’t quite understand the remark, but it pleased him nonetheless. “Thank you. You know, I was up until three last night. I just pictured this scene in my head and had to get it down before I forgot it. I’m honestly beginning to feel like the writer I used to be.”

“I can’t wait to read it.”

He’d promised Mattie that, once he had a small portion written, he’d be the first to read it. “Are you still plugging away through my other novel?”

Mattie hadn’t mentioned he’d been reading his other novel until Simon had spotted it one night on his bedside stand. And it wasn’t that he was eager for praise, but Mattie’s opinion meant a great deal to him, and he was proud of him for keeping up with the reading and writing exercises. He grinned when Mattie’s eyes widened and he rushed to put his mug down.

“I just got to the part where the mechanic is hallucinating about seeing the woman he buried in the—”

Simon interrupted him with a held up finger. “Ah, but
is
he hallucinating?”

“Oh, man, it sucks that I’m not a faster reader, you know?”

“You’ll get there.”

He took another sip from his mug. “If you weren’t so wordy, maybe,” Mattie muttered with a small grin.

“Writers are supposed to be ‘wordy’,” he laughed softly. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have a job.”

“Kind of like an artist without any paint,” Mattie groused.

There was that uncomfortable feeling again. It always reared its ugly head when the subject of money came up. It rarely did, and he thought that perhaps it was only him who felt this way. He’d promised Mattie that he didn’t think any less of him for what he occasionally resorted to for extra cash, but that didn’t stop him from feeling jealous.

He’d offered
once
, choking out the uncomfortable words, to lend him some money, but Mattie had turned that down flat, and he hadn’t dared mention it since. They spent three nights a week together and more or less saw each other all day at the diner, but on the nights they didn’t see each other, he couldn’t help but wonder what it was Mattie was doing and with whom.

It was pointless getting himself worked up about it, though. He’d still insisted that they take it slow and keep it casual. It felt hypocritical of him to demand Mattie stop what he claimed did not disgust him, when he wasn’t ready to offer Mattie a commitment in return, no matter how basic. So he chose to assume that on the nights they didn’t see each other, Mattie spent studying with Ty.

There was one small indication that the hooking had stopped, however, in that it appeared Mattie had—for now—ceased painting due to his lack of funds. He didn’t necessarily think that was a good thing (he was trying to get into art school, wasn’t he?), but the hooking was a way of helping with the rent and paying for his art supplies, or so he’d come to understand. So surely if he wasn’t painting, then….

“Man, you can’t stop that brain of yours from ticking away even for a minute, can you?” Mattie smiled, bringing him out of his daydreams.

“Hmm? Oh, no. Apparently not.”

Mattie reached over and squeezed his hand. “It’s okay if you want to keep working. I’ll just grab a paper, or something.”

That was another reading exercise he praised Mattie for, but he shook his head. “No, it’s all right. I just got distracted for a second.”

Mattie raised one sneaky looking eyebrow. “Oh yeah, thinking about what?”

He could play this game. “Oh, just a certain telephone call that gave me sweet dreams the other night.”

Mattie smirked, playing it cool, but there was a telltale flush creeping up his neck. “Those damn telemarketers again?”

“Yeah. They’re becoming a real pain in the ass too. Like this one I had the other night, he wanted to know what I was wearing,” he droned, “if I was hard for him, if I was imagining riding him until—” He laughed and handed Mattie a napkin when he spluttered soup.

“Damn, those guys are really getting out of control. No wonder you were distracted.”

That’s what Simon wanted to see: Mattie’s cheeks a nice rosy pink. The phone sex
had
been getting a little heated lately. It wasn’t as if they did it every night. Sometimes they’d just talk for a few hours, but the fact that they couldn’t spend the night together was wearing a little thin. So… when needs must, and all that.

“Do you have a study date with Ty tonight?”

Mattie nodded. “Yeah, he picked up all these study guides, bless him. There’s actually an adult basic education program available and GED preparation classes I could take, but I just can’t pay for any other courses, and it’s only a few weeks until test day, so I’m cramming like a madman.”

“How’s it going?”

Mattie shrugged one shoulder, pushing his empty mug to one side and wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Not bad. Once I got used to the idea of actually studying, it stopped feeling so weird. Like… I’m picking up where I left off as a kid.” He shook his head. “It’s strange, and
tough
, but I don’t know… makes me feel a little more human, somehow.”

Christ. What does a guy say to that?

“I’m struggling in some parts, but surprising myself in others. I’m not bad at math, actually.”

“So… wait, what are the areas you have to cover, again?”

Mattie ticked them off on his fingers. “Language arts, reading and writing, math, social studies, and science. I’m struggling with science and social studies, and I’m
so
glad half of it is multiple choice. It’s the essay writing portion that’s really gonna kick my ass.”

“Do you….” He bit his lip, again hesitant to broach the subject of money. “Do you have the entrance fee covered?”

Mattie nodded and glanced away. “Ty spotted me sixty dollars. I just hope I don’t have to pay to retake any parts.”

“And it’s at one of the high schools here in San Diego?”

“San Diego Union High School, yeah. I think there’s a way to do it all online, but I’d probably screw that up. I’m no good with computers.” He shook his head. “It’s gonna feel so freaking weird walking into a school after so many years.” He chewed the inside of his cheek. “Just makes me wonder… if I hadn’t quit, where would I be now? Who would I be?”

Simon cleared his throat. Most serious things Mattie said were difficult to take in. He felt foolish when those brief insights threw a light on how much depth lay just beneath that nice guy smile and happy exterior. “You’d still be a great guy, I think.” He smiled. “Perhaps working in a gallery somewhere.”

Mattie smiled sadly, as if his thoughts were far away. “Maybe,” he murmured quietly. He glanced up and leveled a soft look at Simon that practically projected his thoughts.

But then I wouldn’t have met you.

Simon glanced away, not quite uncomfortable but nonetheless uncertain as to how to deal with the unspoken but coherent words.

Letting him off the hook, Mattie took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. He ran his hand through his hair. “Going back to school, man. Lockers, teachers, chalk boards….”

“Well, you’re going to have to do that with New York sooner or later,” he pointed out, feeling the bitter pill sliding down his throat at the thought of Mattie doing so well, but then moving away.

Mattie became quiet, giving nothing but a noncommittal “umhm.”

He carried on in an effort to see that smile again. “So… five tests. Are you doing that in one sitting or…?”

“Ugh, I don’t know. It’s an option, and part of me wants to just get it all out of the way, but I’m worried I might burn out and bomb the second half. I’ll probably do it over two days.”

Simon smiled gently. “You’ve come really far.”

A proud grin tugged at Mattie’s lips. “Maybe, still a long way to go, though.”

“How long do you have to wait for the results?”

“It’ll take three or so weeks to get the transcripts. So I’ll be an
iddy
bit tense.”

“I’ll see what I can do to keep you occupied.” He winked.
Winking? You never wink.

“What did you have in mind?” Mattie grinned.

He was just about to suggest a few ideas when he felt his cell vibrate. He reached into his pocket and immediately flipped it open when recognizing the school’s number. He had another two hours before he was supposed to pick Jamie up, so something must be wrong. “Hello, Simon Cas—Sarah? What’s going on, is everything…
what
?”

In a panic, he began to gather his things: his wallet, his keys. He closed his laptop and was grateful when Mattie—who had quickly gathered that something was wrong—was already holding open his bag for him to slide his laptop inside while he finished up the call to Sarah. “I’ll be right there.
No
, no, please just, can you keep him with you? And keep her away from him. I’ll be right there.” He stood and slung the strap of his bag over his head.

“Is Jamie okay?” Mattie asked, looking worried.

“He will be. He’s just a little upset.” He walked toward the entrance of the diner, Mattie following him. He gritted his teeth. “My
mother
just tried to take him out of school.”

“
Oh
.” Mattie’s hand touched his shoulder, knowing how Simon felt about his mother and the history there where Jamie was concerned. “Call me later, okay?”

Without even thinking about it, he put his arm around Mattie’s waist and kissed him quick on the lips. “I will. I’ve gotta go.”

“Go on,” Mattie urged with a gentle push to his arm.

H
E
RUSHED
up to the reception desk, panting from his quick dash to the school. “I’m Simon Castle; there’s been an incident with my son, Jamie?”

“Mr. Castle?”

He turned quickly to see a familiar-looking man. He searched his memory bank and remembered him from his last visit. Adam. “Yes, yes that’s me. My son? Where is he?”

“Follow me. He’s with Sarah. The two of you know each other very well?”