The Collected Works of Chögyam Trungpa: Volume 6 (32 page)

One could apply all kinds of practices along this path, such as the selfabsorption of limitless space, the self-absorption of limitless consciousness, and even the self-absorption of nondwelling and the self-absorption of complete emptiness. All kinds of states of mind, all kinds of states of meditation, could be experienced or manufactured by the self-conscious mind as definite things. Because of that, the meditation becomes mindmade, manufactured, prefabricated. Such meditation practices could include dwelling on a particular technique, such as the repetition of a mantra or a visualization. They are all connected with that dwelling process: you are not completely absorbed into the mantra, but
you
are doing the mantra; you are not completely absorbed into the visualization, but
you
are visualizing. The basic criterion is based on “me” and “I am doing this.” So there is self-consciousness in the meditation practice, which leads to the realm of the gods.

By no means is this at all a frivolous effort. You
do
get extremely dramatic results out of these practices if you are completely into it, extremely dramatic results. We may experience bodily pleasures, absorption, physical bliss, and mental bliss. Because we try to get into ourselves with ourselves, it is an extremely crowded situation. We and our projections are put into one bag, and we try to push as hard as can. Having pushed, having forced it somewhat and tried to fit ourselves into one particular bag makes us dizzy, obviously. And quite possibly physical symptoms of all kinds occur in that kind of meditation of the realm of the gods.

In terms of our biological state of being, this may be referred to as hearing the sound of infinite universality. Obviously we do hear our own sound—but at that moment it is uncertain whether it is the universality of sound or whether it is the universality of ourself. It is based on the neurological setup of trying to hold on to one basic situation, one basic principle. So there is tremendous confusion between the ego type of sound-current yoga practice and the real transcendental type, although it is very hard to distinguish at that point. Sound-current vibrations could be heard as a neurological buzz in your head. For that matter, neurological visions could be provided from the extreme tension of being centralized into one thing. Trying to fit projections and projector into one square corner, one particular pigeonhole, automatically brings a kind of self-hypnosis. So in fact, neurological visions or neurological buzz could be heard or seen, perceived.

Likewise the experiences of limitless space and limitless consciousness could be seen as limitless because you are trying to lay a concept of limit on it—which is you, the moderator. Therefore you are seeing things as limitless because the moderator cannot reach beyond certain things. If the moderator decides to let go slightly, beyond its reach, it becomes limitless space or limitless consciousness or limitless emptiness, or whatever it may be. The result of that tremendously hard work and effort of dwelling on ego is that literally, psychologically and physically, we get high. We are completely intoxicated into that extreme way of pushing ourselves, demanding something from ourselves, and dwelling on ourselves. And that is the source of our living in the realm of the gods. So the realm of the gods is mostly the ego’s version of spirituality, or spiritual materialism. That seems to be the starting point.

The other aspect of the realm of the gods is trying to dwell on any seduction that happens within our living situation. Health, pleasure, beauty, and all kinds of things are taken into consideration. Trying to dwell on any of those is dwelling in the realm of the gods. The difference between reaching the realm of the gods and just enjoying pleasure is that in the realm-of-the-gods experience, or the bardo experience in the realm of the gods, you have struggle, a fear of failure and a hope of gaining. You build up, up, up to a crescendo manufactured out of hope and fear. One moment you think you are going to make it, and the next moment you think you are going to fail. The alternation of those two extremes builds up tension and striving. Such a process of striving is more than just simple discipline, or even transcendental discipline, in the sense of the second paramita. Because these ups and downs occur in our state of being and because they mean too much to us, so much to us, we go up and up, down and down and down. So we have all kinds of ups and downs, all kinds of “This is going to be the end of me” or “This is going to be the starting point of my development or my achievement of ultimate pleasure.”

That struggle takes place constantly, and finally, at the final stage, we begin to lose the point of hope and fear. Hope becomes more likely fear, and fear becomes more likely hope, because we have been struggling so much. We begin to lose track of what is hope really and what is really fear altogether. We begin to lose track of who’s going and who’s coming. We are speeding so much that we get into extreme chaos. We lose track of who is against us and who is for us. There is a sudden flash—in terms of egohood, bewilderment, confusion—a moment in which pain and pleasure become one completely. Suddenly the meditative state of dwelling on ego dawns on us. Such a breakthrough! Tremendous achievement!

Then the pleasure, or bliss, begins to saturate our system, psychologically, spiritually, or physically. We don’t have to care anymore about hope or fear, because we have achieved something. And quite possibly we could believe that achievement to be the permanent achievement of enlightenment, or whatever you would like to call it, union with God. At that moment, everything we see seems to be beautiful, loving. Even the most grotesque situations of life seem to be heavenly. Anything that exists, even the unpleasant or aggressive situations in life, is seen as something extremely beautiful, because we have achieved oneness with ego.

In other words, ego has lost track of its intelligence. This is the absolute ultimate achievement of bewilderment, the depth of ignorance, the spirituality of ignorance. It is extremely powerful. I once read a quotation in a Communist Chinese magazine under a portrait of Mao Tsetung, saying, “Mao Tse-tung’s inspiration is a spiritual atom bomb.” This is that kind of spiritual atom bomb. It is self-destructive as well as destructive in relating with the rest of life with compassion, communication. And it is also destructive to stepping out of the bondage of ego. The whole thing about this approach of the realm of the gods is that it is purely going inward and inward and churning out more and more cords or chains to bind yourself further. The more the practice goes on, that much more bondage are we going to create. According to the scriptures, it is like the analogy of a silkworm, which binds itself as it produces silk thread, and finally suffocates itself.

So we could say that the realm of the gods has two aspects: one is the spiritual aspect, which has a self-destructive, self-hypnotic quality; the other aspect is the extreme search for pleasure, mentally and physically. Because such striving goes on all the time, you begin to lose the point, you begin to become accustomed to struggle, and you begin to learn to moderate your determination. You begin to accept what is given to you, and you begin to become somewhat sensible. Because the achievement of pleasure is limitless, because there is no end to achieving something, you begin to strike a happy medium. You try to be moderate or sensible, and you try to dwell on temporary happiness, materialistically. Those are two types of god realm. Both are pleasure-oriented entirely in the sense of the maintenance of ego. But in both cases the very thing which places you in the realm of the gods is losing track of hope and fear. We could see it spiritually or we could see it in terms of worldly concerns. The achievement of happiness, as it is experienced in the realm of the gods, is based on that particular experience of losing track of who is searching and what is our aim and object and goal—but trying to make the best of it. That could be seen in terms of worldly concerns and social situations as well as spiritually.

At the beginning we are searching or looking for happiness. But then we begin to enjoy the practice toward happiness as well, at the same time. We try to relax into the practice toward happiness, on the way to achieving absolute physical pleasure or psychological comfort. At the same time, halfway to achieving such comfort and pleasure, we begin to give in and make the best of it. It is like an adventure also being used as a vacation or a holiday. You are on the way to your adventurous journey, your actual ultimate goal, but at the same time you use every step of every journey, regarding them also as a vacation, or holiday.

The realm of the gods, therefore, doesn’t seem to be particularly painful, as far as its own actual situation is concerned. Instead, the most painful aspect of the realm of the gods is that when you think you have achieved something spiritual or worldly and you are trying to dwell on that, suddenly something shakes. Suddenly you realize that what you are trying to achieve is not going to last forever at all. For instance, at a certain stage, spiritual absorption in meditation becomes very shaky. You thought you were continuously going to enjoy this blissful state. But at some stage, that blissful state begins to become shaky and more irregular, ragged. The thought of maintenance begins to come into the mind. You try to push yourself back to this blissful state, but the karmic situation brings all kinds of irritations into it and at some stage you begin to completely lose faith in that blissful state. Suddenly there is the violence that you have been cheated. You realize that you cannot stay in the realm of the gods forever.

When the karmic situation shapes you up and begins to provide extraordinary situations that you have to relate to, then the whole process becomes disappointing. You either experience disappointment or anger toward the person who put you into such a journey. You begin to condemn yourself or the person who put you into that, and that sudden anger seems to turn you around. You end up angry, and your anger develops as hungry ghost–like anger, or the anger of the realm of hell, or the anger of human beings or jealous gods. You develop all kinds of anger or disappointment that you have been cheated, so you go back to one of the other five realms of the world. So you go on and on and on. At some stage, you might come up to the realm of the gods again, but then the same disappointment takes place and you go down again. The same thing comes up again and again. That is what is called
samsara
, which literally means continual circle, whirlpool, the ocean which spins round again and again. There is no end. That seems to be one of the qualities of bardo experience: you are in no-man’s-land somehow, in terms of your daily experience as well as the experience after death, before the next birth.

Student:
If you are in between different realms, how long do you stay stuck in the transitional state between one realm and another?

Trungpa Rinpoche:
It depends on the force of your struggle, how violent it is. The more you are violent, the more you are forceful, the more you are speeding, that much more are you spinning around. In that way you get dizzy. So you introduce yourself into the bardo experience of the six realms of the world. It depends on your speed.

Student:
Rinpoche, do you have to experience all six realms of the world before there is a possibility of release?

Trungpa Rinpoche:
It is not a question of really being necessary by any means. The whole thing is useless, you could say—but it happens constantly.

S:
Rinpoche, if we see our meditation moving toward that, should we go with it?

TR:
You have to have confidence in yourself and your practice, and you have to have clear perception. Then you automatically learn how to work with yourself.

Student:
Would it be possible to go through the complete path of bardo experience and know the whole thing, and still not be able to stop it? Could one be aware of the process, and still not be able to stop it?

Trungpa Rinpoche:
I think that is possible. You would only be able to stop it or to slow it down at the point of the journey itself, the journey leading up to a crescendo. At the moment you are speculating between hope and fear, at that moment you could slow down. And that is what is usually happening with us. But once you are at the fruition of it, it is very hard to stop it. That would be like trying to redirect the course of an arrow when it is on its way already.

S:
You‘re helpless?

TR:
Yes, it is a helpless situation at that point. It has been said that even the Buddha cannot change or interfere with your karmic fruition, and that it is impossible to do anything once you are in any of these realms. These realms we are talking about are different psychological states of madness. The six realms of the world occur within the human situation when you have gotten yourself into such a heavy trip that you do not hear somebody trying to help you. You do not see anything at all; you become completely deaf and dumb. Those kinds of neurotic states of being that you manage to get yourself into in your living situation, in this life in particular, seem to be the subject that we are talking about, rather than the six realms of the world after death. The realm of the gods is also based on what we are in that daily living situation. So the six realms of the world could be said to be six types of psychotic states.

Student:
Rinpoche, when a bodhisattva takes a vow to renounce enlightenment, would he be in the realm of the gods at that point?

Trungpa Rinpoche:
If you area bodhisattva, you are supposed to be out of those realms.

S:
Then what are you renouncing, if you are not?

TR:
You are renouncing attaining enlightenment.

S:
What is the difference between being out of the six realms and enlightenment?

TR:
Well, being out of the six realms of the world is an intermediate state. You could be in the situation of having come down from one realm and being just about to enter into another realm, which is still part of the samsaric circle. The bodhisattva could be in that state of no-man’s-land as well, where you are not connected with any of the six realms or, for that matter, the idea of enlightenment. But the bodhisattva is directed toward enlightenment.