The Color of Hope (The Color of Heaven Series) (23 page)

Jacob and I were again holding hands across the table.

“Thank God for them,” I said, “because in my line of work, I need to know there’s still hope that
some
marriages will last forever.”

His eyes were full of warmth. “Sounds like you learned from the best.”

I looked down at the table. “I’m not sure how much I learned, because it didn’t keep me from walking out on a two-year relationship that I thought was going to last forever.”

“He wasn’t the right one for you,” Jacob said matter-of-factly. “And you weren’t married to him.”

I nodded, and the subject changed to our upcoming fishing trip on Saturday. Jacob told me about his cabin on the lake. He described the mist rising off the glassy water at dawn and the peaceful silence of the woods. I couldn’t wait to be there with him.

As our Friday morning date at Starbucks came to an end, the idea of not seeing Jacob until the following morning seemed like an eternity to wait. I realized, as we walked out of the coffee shop together, that my ‘teensy tiny crush’ on my sister’s doctor had mushroomed into something much bigger.

We paused to say good-bye on the street as we always did. He gave me a kiss on the cheek. As soon as we turned our backs on each other, however, he said, “Diana, wait.”

I stopped and swung around.

“Would you like to see a movie tonight?”

Could it be that he was just as enamored as I was?

“I’d love to,” I replied with a smile. “Anything special you want to see?”

“Not really. I’m game for anything. Why don’t you check the listings and choose something for us. Surprise me.”

I wanted to bounce up and down on my toes. “All right.”

He hesitated. “I’d suggest that you invite Nadia, but––”

“You’re her doctor,” I finished for him.

He nodded.

“I understand,” I replied.

A short while later, as I got into my car, I was thankful for the clear line that was drawn in the sand between Jacob and Nadia. He was her doctor, and it would be a breach of ethics for him to form any sort of intimate relationship with her.

Not that I feared – for a single second – that Jacob would do that. I knew in my heart that he was nothing like Rick.

It was Nadia I was unsure of. I didn’t know how she would maneuver through this if she knew.

“
I
NEED TO
talk to you about something,” Jacob said that night, taking hold of my hand as we walked out of the movie theater together.

I glanced up at him uncertainly.

“I think it would be best if I turned Nadia’s case over to a colleague,” he said.

I stopped in my tracks. “Why?”

The rest of the crowd moved past us in the theater lobby. Someone bumped my elbow and knocked me slightly off balance.

“Because of what’s happening here,” Jacob quietly replied. He stepped a little closer. “I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I like you, Diana. I want to see where this goes, and if we’re going to do that, it would be best if I wasn’t your sister’s cardiologist.”

I looked down at my feet. “You’re not being presumptuous. I like you, too. A lot.”

I wanted to continue seeing Jacob – I wanted it more than anything – and I didn’t want to cause him any problems with the professional ethics committee.

At the same time, I didn’t want it to be my fault that Nadia received less than the very best medical care.

“You’re the best heart surgeon at Mass General,” I said to him.

We began walking again, slowly falling behind the pace of the crowd.

“I appreciate the compliment,” he replied, “but some people might disagree.”

“You’re being modest.”

He squeezed my hand. “We’re a team at Mass General, Diana. Everyone is top notch. I’d like to hand Nadia’s case over to Dr. John Reynolds, if that’s okay with the two of you. He’s an excellent surgeon and a good friend.”

“But she’s so comfortable with you,” I argued. “That first day when we met in your office, I believed you were the right doctor for her, and I still believe it.”

“I’ll always be nearby,” he assured me, “available to consult about anything. Like I said, Dr. Reynolds and I work as a team.”

We pushed through the theater doors, and when I still didn’t agree to Jacob’s suggestion that we move Nadia to another doctor, he stopped and took hold of my arm.

“Diana, the main reason I want to take myself off her case is because I don’t want to hold anything back when I’m with
you
. She’s your twin, and there’s a gray area there, in terms of ethics. Do you understand? Also – and this isn’t easy for me to say – if anything happens to her, I’m afraid that every time you look at me, you’ll be reminded of how I couldn’t save her, and how I failed you.”

I swallowed uneasily, then nodded to indicate that yes, I understood. He was choosing the possibility of a future with me over Nadia’s medical case. I was pleased, of course, that he wanted to explore what might be possible between us, but at the same time, I was hesitant to take him away from my sister. After everything she’d been through, could I really do that?

I
T WAS NEARLY
midnight when Jacob pulled up in front of my house. A jazz tune was playing on the radio, but he turned the volume down so we could say goodnight.

“You’ll be ready to go at 5:00 tomorrow?” he asked.

“I’ll set three alarm clocks,” I replied, “just to make sure I don’t sleep in.”

He smiled. “Good. And I promise it’ll be worth it. You know what they say – every hour spent fishing –”

“Adds an hour to your life.” I chuckled. “Are there any statistics to prove that?”

“I don’t know, but I like the sound of it.”

“Me, too.”

He reached for my hand, raised it to his lips, and kissed the back of it. The soft pressure of his mouth on my skin sent a current of desire rushing through me.

Jacob’s eyes met mine, then he leaned in for a kiss. The moment our lips touched, I was overcome by a jolt of pleasure that erupted in every part of my body, all at once. I slid my hands across his shoulders and up the sides of his neck to the strong line of his jaw. The quickened pace of his breathing matched mine, but for me, it was so much more than physical. I felt as if the bond forming between us was not new. It had always been there beneath the surface of my existence, waiting quietly and patiently to be discovered. All that had been required was for us to meet.

As we drew apart, I fought to catch my breath and gain control over my desires, because I had to go inside soon.

“Your cheeks are flushed,” Jacob whispered with a smile. He rested his forehead on mine.

“That’s because I’m happy,” I replied.

“So am I. I haven’t felt like this in a very long time.”

I swallowed over my disbelief. Was this really happening? “I don’t think I’ve
ever
felt like this.”

He nodded in agreement.

“I should go inside before I attack you,” I said.

My words caused him to press his mouth to mine again, but this time his passion was fierce. His kiss filled me with desperation and a mad need to go home with him that night – because the thought of a single hour away from him felt like torture.

It took every shred of discipline I possessed to lay my hands on his chest and put a stop to this. “If I don’t go inside right now,” I breathlessly said, “things are going to get out of hand.”

He nodded. “You’d better go. I’ll see you in the morning.”

My hands trembled as I reached for the door handle and got out.

“Good night,” Jacob said, leaning across the passenger seat to smile up at me.

As I stood on the curb, I felt completely dazed and beguiled. I closed the car door and turned to walk up my front steps.

I inserted the key into the lock and entered the foyer with a smile on my face, but turned to discover Nadia, standing in the center of the living room in her fleecy blue bathrobe. She stared at me with a frown.

“You didn’t tell me you were going out on a
date
,” she said accusingly. “Were you lying about that?”

I
SET MY
purse and keys down on the table by the stairs and inhaled deeply.
Here we go
.

“Who was he?” Nadia asked, before I had a chance to explain anything. She crossed to the window and pulled the curtain aside to look out. Thankfully, Jacob was gone by then, but I wondered how long she’d been watching us.

I moved into the living room. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was going to, but with everything you’ve been through lately, I didn’t want to cause you any stress.”

“Why would it cause me stress?” she asked.

“Because of who I’m dating,” I answered honestly.

She tilted her head. “And who is that?”

Clearly, she already knew the answer to the question. She just wanted to hear me to admit it.

“I was with Jacob Peterson tonight.”

She pointed her thumb into her breastbone. “
My
doctor.”

“Yes.”

Her shoulders rose and fell as she exhaled. “How long have you been seeing him?”

“Not long. A couple of weeks.”

“Why him?” she asked. “Of all the men in Boston.”

“I didn’t plan on it,” I explained. “We bumped into each other at Starbucks, that’s all. It was a coincidence. Turns out he lives in our neighborhood.”

“But your date with him tonight wasn’t a coincidence,” she said, and I saw the wheels turning in her head. “When you went out for dinner with clients last week... Were you lying about that, too?”

My mouth became dry. I wet my lips. “Yes.”

Nadia’s nostrils flared. The next thing I knew, she was storming past me toward the kitchen.

I followed her, but remained in the kitchen doorway.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “but I really like him.”

She opened the cupboard door over the microwave and pulled out a small box of herbal tea, and slammed it down on the countertop. “Are you just doing this to get back at me for what happened with Rick?”

“Of course not. This has nothing to do with that.”

“Are you
sure
?” she answered reproachfully. “I know you haven’t forgiven me for it. You didn’t answer my texts or emails for almost a year. I was on my
deathbed
before you would return a phone call, and now that I’m here, you never talk to me. I think the only reason I’m in your home is because you feel it’s your moral duty to be a good person – always the perfect Diana – but you don’t really want me here. You’d be much happier if I was still in LA and out of your life.”

My thoughts began racing dangerously, and all of a sudden I was back in that ritzy Vegas penthouse, while Nadia looked past me and focused all her attention on my future fiancé.

“Fine,” I said, “if you want to go there.” I strode forward to where she was rifling through the box of herbal teas. “Yes, I’m still angry about what happened between you and Rick. He was the man I wanted to marry. What do you expect? You’re standing in front of me with his kid in your belly.”

Her eyes grew wide with shock. “I told you I was sorry about that. And you said yourself that you’re better off without him. I did you a favor.”

“Hah!” I shouted. “I didn’t realize a knife in the back was considered a favor. And why did you do it anyway? Did you want to hurt me, or did you just want to have what I had? Did you feel it was owed to you, that you had a right to it, because we were twins and you should have everything I had? Was it jealousy? Resentment?”

She wagged a finger at me. “Stop talking about it as if it was all my doing, as if I orchestrated everything, and stole your boyfriend from you. Rick was as much to blame as I was, if not more. The way he treated me...” She stopped. “He was so charming, and I wasn’t used to that. I just...” She paused. “I fell.”

“You fell.” I should my head in disbelief. “What does that even
mean
?”

“It means I fell head over heels in love with him,” she said, “and I couldn’t stay away. There. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Not really,” I scoffed.

She glared at me, then left the kitchen without boiling any water for her tea.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“To bed.”

I followed her up the stairs. “Wait. We’re not done here. I still need to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“About the situation with Dr. Peterson.”

Nadia reached the top of the stairs and disappeared into her room. She was shrugging out of her bathrobe when I arrived in her doorway.

“I don’t want you to see him anymore,” she said to me.

I walked all the way in. “I’m seeing him tomorrow. He’s picking me up at dawn and taking me fishing. I’m not going to cancel that.”

“But he’s
my
doctor.”

I worked hard to wrestle my anger to the ground and speak in a calm voice. “That’s what I need to talk to you about. Tonight he told me that he would prefer to hand your file over to another surgeon. His name is Dr. Reynolds, and he’s supposed to be very good.”

She stared at me in horror. “I don’t want another doctor. I want Dr. Peterson. Was it
you
who suggested that?”