The Color of Love (31 page)

“Fair enough, then how about talking about
you? We can pretend that the other party is…Woman X.”

“Oh, and that’s going to work well.”

“All right, you
don’t
talk about her, and I’ll just guess.”
Ron took a deep breath and tapped his chin. “Okay, you’re harboring a secret
crush on Woman X, and now that she’s gone, you regret that you didn’t jump her
the way I told you to.”

“This is not going to work.”

He waved a hand. “Okay, let’s try that again.
You did jump her, like I told you to, but in an uncharacteristic Derian
Winfield fashion—whoops, sorry—Woman X declined your offer.” He frowned and
shook his head. “Really, though, I never took her for a fool, so even I don’t
believe that one.”

“Ron,” Emily said in a threatening tone.

“No, I’ve got it. You did jump her, she
accepted, and she was absolutely terrible in bed.”

“Derian is wonderful in bed,” Emily said,
almost amused when Ron’s mouth dropped open. If she’d had any fiber of her
being left that wasn’t miserable, she might have laughed too. “I don’t remember
who jumped who, but believe me, there was nothing to complain about.”

“I’m sorry,” Ron said. “You don’t strike me
as the one-night stand type, and I know Deri—”

“No,” Emily said, “you don’t know. No one
does. Derian is nothing like her reputation.”

“You’re right, sorry. She made a really good
impression with everyone while she was here. But you knew it was only
temporary.”

“Oh, I did. Unfortunately, I seem to have
forgotten that somewhere in the process of taking off my clothes.”

Ron laughed wryly. “I’ve been there and done
that. Are you sure it’s just temporary?”

“She’s gone, isn’t she? And there was never
any discussion of it being any more than that, unless you count the part where
she asked me to marry her.”

Ron stared. “You’re not serious.”

“Actually, I am, and this does not go any
further than here. I mean it.”

“I swear.” He crossed his heart. “Derian
Winfield asked you to marry her? And you said, what, no thanks?”

“What do you think?”

“I’m missing a few steps. Like the whys and
the wherefores.”

Emily sighed. Maybe if she said it all out
loud she’d stop torturing herself with the endless replays. Maybe she’d
convince herself she’d been right in sending Derian away. “Derian thought it
would solve everyone’s problems—I’d become a permanent resident, and voilà, no more
visa problems. I’d be in a position one day to ensure that Winfield’s continues
with its mission, and presto, Henrietta’s legacy is preserved. All that and
Derian manages to not only infuriate her father but gain the upper hand in
their long-standing private battle.” She dusted her hands. “Everything taken
care of all neat and tidy, as long as you don’t consider the fact that she and
I would be legally bound to one another.”

“Well, you’re already having sex.”

“Are you going to sit there and tell me
that’s all that matters?”

He grinned. “It’s a good start.”

“It is, I won’t argue that. But it’s not a
reason to get married.”

“There are lots of reasons to get married,
including the fact that you like someone, you have terrific sex, and it’s
sensible. They don’t call it a contract for nothing.”

“It’s not enough for me, especially when—”
Emily looked away. Especially when she wanted much more than a contract with
Derian.

“Uh-oh.”

Emily smiled sadly. “Yes, uh-oh indeed.”

“Does she know?”

“Of course not.”

“Maybe you should’ve told her.”

“No. That’s not fair.”

“Honey,” Ron said gently, “love isn’t about
being fair or unfair. It’s about being honest.”

“There’s nothing dishonest about keeping
one-sided feelings to oneself.”

“When you see her again, you should
reconsider.”

“By the time I see her, it won’t matter any
longer.”

Emily’s phone rang and she grabbed it like a
lifeline. Please let there be some problem she needed to take care of. She didn’t
want to talk about Derian—it took all her energy not to think about her.

“I think you better come down here,” Vonnie
said ominously.

“Oh no, tell me Donatella hasn’t slithered
back in.”

“See for yourself.”

Emily jumped up. “I have to go.”

“This isn’t over,” Ron said.

Emily shook her head. “I’m afraid it is.”

*

“What is it?” Emily whispered as she
approached Vonnie’s desk. The door to Henrietta’s office was slightly ajar and
she really didn’t want to go in there and see Donatella where Derian should be
sitting.

“Go on in,” Vonnie said with an air of
resignation.

Emily steeled herself and pushed ahead.

Henrietta sat behind her desk, looking just
as she had the last time Emily had seen her there.

“What are you doing here?” Emily blurted.

“The last time I checked, this was still my
office.”

“You’re supposed to be home recovering.”

Henrietta gave one of those peremptory
motions of her hand, less a wave and more an incision, cleaving air. “I
promised my doctors I would not come into the office
to work
. There’s nothing wrong with my
brain, and if I’m sitting at home I can be looking at my computer, which is
probably a lot better for my overall state of health than staring at daytime
television. Have you actually looked at what’s on there recently?”

Emily grinned despite herself. She was just
so glad to see Henrietta with color in her face and fire in her eyes again she
couldn’t be angry with her, even if she was still too thin and just a bit
fragile looking and should not be there. “Television in general is not
something I usually have time for.”

“Then consider yourself better off for it.”
Henrietta speared her with a hard look. “How much does Derian have to do with
how unhappy you look right now?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Emily said instantly.
Whatever had gone so terribly wrong between her and Derian was entirely between
them. “Derian was a tremendous help and the entire staff is appreciative.”

“I see,” Henrietta said, looking as if she
really did see but was kind enough not to probe any further. “I want you to take
a few weeks off. Go home, see your sister.”

“I can’t go now,” Emily said. “You’re not
coming back to work—”

“I can handle from home whatever Vonnie and
Ron can’t deal with, until you get back.” Henrietta looked at her watch. “Now
that’s settled, you have a meeting with Audrey Ames in the conference room in
five minutes.”

“I do?”

“She’s taking over the matter of getting your
immigration status straightened out. After you meet with her, go. You shouldn’t
have any trouble with reentry now.”

Emily’s heart stuttered. Of course. If her
work visa was not renewed, she couldn’t leave the US. She knew of plenty of
people who lived and worked in the US for years without a proper visa, but they
couldn’t leave to see family overseas, not if they wanted to come back.

“All right, yes. Thank you.” Emily rose,
suddenly so tired. “You’ll go home too?”

“I will. And, Emily? It’s going to be all
right.”

Emily didn’t see how, as she went off to meet
with Derian’s best friend.

“Morning,” Emily said as she walked into the
conference room where Aud waited with a laptop open before her and a yellow
legal pad by her right hand. Aud’s navy suit jacket with matching trousers and
an open-collared pale blue striped shirt looked more stylish than standard
business garb on her willowy frame.

“Hi.” Aud smiled, looking tired beneath her
flawless, understated makeup. “Sorry I didn’t get this scheduled with you ahead
of time. Henrietta called and issued a priority edict.”

“That’s fine.” Emily settled across from her.
“Henrietta took us all by surprise today.”

“At least she’s feeling better.” Aud leaned
back. “So—today is just a review so I can be sure you understand the protocols
and what we’ll be doing to get you squared away.”

“I thought—sorry, I’m not sure of the etiquette
here, but I didn’t think you were part of the agency’s legal team.”

“Technically,” Aud said, not appearing put
out by the question, “Winfield Enterprises’ legal department represents all the
divisions. The agency usually works with just one or two of us, but Henrietta
requested me. Are you okay with that?”

“Of course.”

Aud gave her a long look. “Actually,
Henrietta intimated Derian was behind it.”

Emily’s face grew hot. So much for keeping
her relationship with Derian private. All she had to do was hear her name and
she telegraphed exactly how she felt about her. “Ah, that’s kind of her.”

Aud laughed. “Derian is many wonderful and
infuriating things, including kind, but I don’t think that’s what motivated her
this time. She knew I’d give this more than just the normal business-as-usual
attention.”

“Personal attention.”

“Yes.”

Emily studied the beautiful, sophisticated
woman. She seemed exactly the kind of woman Derian would choose for a friend,
or a lover. Had Derian discussed their relationship? And if she had, what did
it matter. “I appreciate that.”

“We’re friends, Derian and I,” Aud said
quietly, as if answering some unspoken question.

“But you’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
Emily asked, much preferring straightforward conversations to roundabout word
games. And being on a level field with Aud, if all that meant was being honest,
seemed important now that they were to have more than a passing acquaintance.
Derian was part of their lives—even if Derian was part of her past now. The
feelings remained, and she didn’t want to hide them.

Aud gave a short, hard laugh. “My whole
life.”

“Does she know that?”

“Oh, I’m sure she does. And she loves me, in
her way. In the only way she can.” Aud shrugged, her expression amused and a
little sad. “We can’t help who we love, or who we don’t. Derian isn’t in
love…with me.”

“I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“Isn’t it?” Aud said lightly.

“No. Especially now, but really not ever.
Derian’s relationships are not my concern.”

“Really? If she was my lover, I’d put a big
sign around her neck—no trespassing.”

Emily laughed and shook her head. “She’s not
my lover.”

“Maybe, maybe not. But she wants to be sure
you’re here when she gets back.”

Emily ignored the quick fluttering of her
heart. Aud didn’t know that. Neither did she, and she couldn’t let herself get
drawn into false hope. She’d had years of wishing reality could be changed and
wouldn’t be crippled by futile longings again. “I’m glad you’re handling this.”

Aud leaned forward, pulling the laptop into
range. “All right then. Let’s see about getting your immigration situation
straightened out.”

Emily listened, provided what information she
could, and tried not to panic. Aud knew what she was doing—everything would
work out. It had to.

“That’s it for now,” Aud said after half an
hour. “I’ll be in touch as soon as we start filing the preliminary forms. I’ll
push it as fast as I can.”

“Thanks.”

“I can’t promise we’ll get this sorted out
anytime soon. Immigration laws are changing just about every minute, and with
the way things are in Washington—everywhere across the country,
really—regulations are getting tighter. Added to that we’ve got three federal
agencies involved—Customs, Homeland, and Labor—and none of them speak the same
language or to each other. But since you’re already here and established, and
paying taxes…” Aud smiled. “That always helps. I’m hopeful this will be taken
care of before it becomes a serious issue.”

“You mean before I have to leave.”

Aud nodded. “Perhaps you should reconsider
Derian’s offer. That’s a surefire way to cut through all the red tape.”

Emily snorted. “She told you about that, did
she? Her plan for me to be a mail-order bride?”

“She mentioned it, and I might’ve suggested
it was a crazy idea at the time. But it’s not illegal, especially since the two
of you do have a relationship. You’d hardly be a mail-order bride.”

“It’s a ridiculous idea. I wouldn’t chain her
to a meaningless relationship.”

“And what about yourself?”

Emily stared at the lines of script on the
yellow notepad. She couldn’t even pretend Derian didn’t matter.

“No, I didn’t think it would be meaningless.”
Aud rose and efficiently gathered up her notes. “I’ll do my best to see that
you stay.”

Emily stayed behind, waiting for the
rapid-fire events of the morning to settle. Henrietta was right, as usual. She
needed to get away for a little while, and now was the perfect time for her
long-delayed visit with Pam. Maybe when she wasn’t coming to the agency every
day, she wouldn’t be reminded Derian wasn’t there any longer. Mentally she
laughed at her own self-delusion. Nothing would make her stop thinking of
Derian. Was Aud right—had Derian reached out from afar to make sure someone who
really cared would help her now? Derian had tried to help her too, and even
though her solution wasn’t something Emily could live with, she at least ought
to thank her. She owed her that.

*

Derian collected her winnings and wended her
way through the gaming tables to the bar for a drink before heading back to her
hotel. At three in the morning, most everyone was at the tables, and the bar
was almost empty except for a brunette in a red sheath dress at one end and two
men at the other. Derian slid onto a stool halfway down the bar and nodded to
the bartender in a crisp white shirt and black bow tie. “Macallan, neat.”

A minute later, the bartender placed a
tumbler of scotch onto a square white coaster on the polished black
marble-topped bar in front of her. “Thanks.”

The brunette eased onto the adjacent seat.
“You don’t remember me, but I was at the Speed-Pro company party the other
night.”