The Color of Love (32 page)

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Authors: Radclyffe

Tags: #Romance, #Lesbian, #Contemporary

BOOK: The Color of Love
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“I remember.” Derian had a good memory for
faces, and she’d noticed the brunette in a low-cut black dress that had
showcased her killer body. She remembered the burly older man whose arm she’d
clung to as well.

“I don’t recall seeing you with anyone.” The
brunette’s voice was a low, smoky purr.

“I’m not here with anyone.”

“Neither am I.” At Derian’s slightly raised
brow, she laughed. “Oh, I am married, but my husband prefers to spend his time
at the tables. We have an understanding, in case something like that matters to
you.”

Derian savored her scotch. “I appreciate you
telling me. It makes things easier, but I’m not looking for company.”

“Everyone’s looking for company of one sort
or another.” The brunette signaled the bartender and he placed another martini
in front of her. “Whether we know it or not.”

“You might be right,” Derian said. “I should
have said I’m not looking for anyone’s company but one particular woman’s.”

“I see. Someone special.”

Derian turned the glass in her hands, Emily’s
face all she could see. “Very.”

“Well, how about another kind of company,
then. For a little while.”

“I’m Derian Winfield,” Derian said, offering
her hand.

“Veronica Riley.”

“Nice to meet you, Veronica.”

They shared another drink, and Derian offered
to see Veronica back to her hotel.

“That’s kind of you, but I’ll be fine.”

“Thanks for the company, then.”

Veronica smiled and Derian walked away. As
the cab brought her back to her hotel through the dark, quiet streets an hour
before dawn, the restless unease of the last few weeks settled between her
shoulder blades with an insistent throb. She’d done what she’d come here to do.
Her business was finished, and what remained held no promise of pleasure. Time
stretched out before her like a prison sentence, but she didn’t have to accept
the verdict. Maybe she’d left this life behind before she’d even returned. She
just hadn’t known it.

When she walked into her suite, the red light
on her phone was blinking and she pushed the button for her messages. Emily’s
voice stopped time—stopped everything as Derian concentrated on the lift and
fall of her voice, shuddered as warmth coursed through her. She steadied
herself with a hand on the back of the sofa. What had she said? The words
hadn’t registered. Derian played the message again, and then again just to hear
her voice. Emily was thanking her for being so kind, so helpful? That was all
Emily had heard?

Derian closed her eyes. What an idiot she’d
been.

Chapter Twenty-nine

Emily kissed Pam’s gaunt cheek and reflexively
tucked the colorful plaid blanket around her thin shoulders. “It’s almost time
for your dinner. I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you.”

She nodded to Yi Ling, gathered her purse and
jacket, and walked outside. She paused in front of the residential center to
breathe in the cool night air and shake off the sadness. She loved seeing her
sister, but this city, this country, was not home to her anymore. She missed
her apartment and her friends at the agency and her work and her life. She sighed.
And she missed Derian. She hadn’t heard from her, and she hadn’t expected to,
but a little part of her had hoped.

There was that word again. Hope. She couldn’t
shake it—not when it came to Pam, and not, it seemed, when it came to Derian.
She joined the crowds on the sidewalk and walked back to her hotel. By the time
she got there the sadness had dissipated along with the sun. In another few
minutes twilight would give way to evening. Too keyed up to go inside after a
day spent talking to a sister who might or might not have known she was there,
she strolled aimlessly along the edge of a small park across from the hotel.
All she had to look forward to was another evening with a solitary meal and a
book. Something she usually looked forward to on vacation, but this time, her
solitary pleasures were not enough to satisfy.

Emily stopped abruptly and stared, giving
herself a second while her breath stuttered in her chest to be sure her
imagination hadn’t blindsided her.

Derian sat on a bench just inside the park,
arms stretched out along the top, a slow smile on her face. Emily took a second
to steady herself before walking over to her. If she let her heart lead the
way, she’d be racing. And she didn’t want to be wrong, couldn’t bear to be
wrong.

“Hello, Derian. I didn’t expect to see you.”

“I got your message. Sorry I missed your
call. I wanted to say thank you.”

Emily laughed softly, teetering on the brink
of fleeing and touching her. Derian was really there, in the flesh, of course
she was. “Most people would’ve just called me back.”

“I did.” Derian tilted her head to meet
Emily’s eyes. She looked tired, smudges under her eyes, and so incredibly
beautiful. “You weren’t at the agency.”

Emily gestured to the bench. “May I?”

“Yes.”

Emily sat and immediately felt the tips of
Derian’s fingers touch the back of her shoulder. Even through her jacket, the
contact was electric. Familiar heat rushed through her. Oh yes, she was real
all right. “I’m on vacation.”

“I know, Ron told me.”

“He didn’t know where I was staying.”

“Monica—my travel agent—is a wizard. Hope you
don’t mind me showing up.”

“No, of course not.” Of course not? How
about, Oh my God, I’ve been so miserable since the moment you left. Can you
just please not move for about a century. “I thought you were in Rio in the
midst of business and…whatnot.”

“I’m done with whatnot.” Derian slipped her
fingers from cotton to the bare skin at Emily’s nape. She couldn’t resist
touching her any longer. The connection was like coming home, and the coiled
tension inside her unwound and faded away. The ache that had tormented her for
days dissolved in the welcome in Emily’s eyes. “I had to see you. I missed
you.”

Emily’s breath caught. “Derian.”

“Emily…” Derian leaned closer and kissed her.
“I made a mess of things the last time we talked.”

Emily slid her hand onto Derian’s leg,
stroked up and down her denim-clad thigh. “No, you didn’t. Well, maybe, but so
did I. I know you were only trying to help. That’s why I called, to thank—”

“No, no.” Derian grimaced impatiently. “I was,
trying to help, I mean, but that’s not really what was going on. You were right
about that.”

“No, I wasn’t.” Emily needed her to believe
this. “I meant what I said on the phone. I know you’re not your father, and I
know you weren’t trying to use me to get back at him.”

“Thank you. I need you to believe that.”

“I do.” Emily sighed. “How long are you here
for?”

“Until you get tired of me.”

The words pierced with the sweet blade of
hope Emily couldn’t allow herself. “I have another ten days.”

“My reservation at the hotel is open-ended.”

“You’re staying here?”

“Yes. But if you don’t want to see me, I’ll
leave.”

Emily cupped Derian’s cheek. How could she
even think that? “Of course I want to see you. I hope…I hope at least we’re
friends.”

Derian turned Emily’s hand over and kissed
her palm. “I don’t want to be your friend, Emily.” She met Emily’s gaze. “I
want to be your lover.”

Emily summoned every ounce of will. Derian
was going to break her heart, and she’d never recover. “I can’t, Derian. I—”

“You really aren’t going to tell me it’s
because of the business, are you?”

Emily shook her head. No more time for hiding
the truth. “No, it’s not that. I—”

Derian gave an impatient growl and, still
holding Emily’s hand, slid gracefully onto her knees in front of Emily.

A few people passing by paused to stare.

“Derian, what are you doing?”

“What I should’ve done before.”

Derian’s eyes gleamed and sent Emily’s heart
racing.

“I love you,” Derian said, her voice strong
and pure. “I want to be your lover and your mate, your friend and your spouse.
I want you to marry me, Emily. Will you?”

Emily’s heart said
yes, oh yes, yes
. The words would not come
out. Derian was watching her, clear-eyed and intense. “I wasn’t expecting
this.” She laughed shakily. “I might need a few minutes.”

“How about you think about it over dinner?
Long enough?”

“I love you,” Emily said, unwilling to let
Derian be the only one taking a chance. “I have for a long time.”

Derian grinned. “Me too.”

“I’m just not sure about all the rest.”

“That’s okay. I am.”

Emily laughed. “You can get up off your knees
now.”

“I like it here.”

Emily freed her hand from Derian’s grasp and
framed Derian’s face. Leaning over, she gave her a proper kiss, slow and deep,
that helped fill the emptiness she’d been carrying inside her since the moment
Derian walked out of her apartment. When she drew back she whispered, “I love
you.”

Derian somehow managed to flow to her feet
and pull Emily up with her, catching her in the circle of her arms. “Tell me we
can have dinner in my room and you’ll think about being mine.”

“Yes, all right,” Emily said, “I’ll think
about it.”

Derian kissed her and murmured in her ear,
“Tell me again you love me.”

“I love you,” Emily whispered.

*

“I never want to live without room service.”
Derian tightened her hold around Emily’s middle and kissed the back of her
neck.

Emily wiggled her rear a little tighter into
the curve of Derian’s hips, found her hand, and drew it to her lips for a kiss.
“Did we eat?”

Derian chuckled. “Not yet. But we can whenever
we want.”

“I don’t ever want to move.”

“Then we don’t have to. There’s nowhere else
I want to be.” Or anything else she’d rather be doing. Lying with Emily, loving
Emily, filled her with quiet contentment and excitement that never relented.
“You’re everything I want, and I want you endlessly.”

“I’m so glad.” Emily gave a little groan,
rolled onto her back, and pulled Derian’s head down to kiss her again. “I love
being yours.”

Derian leaned on an elbow and stroked Emily’s
warm, pliant body. She couldn’t stop touching. Couldn’t get enough of her. Knew
she never would. “Are you? Mine?”

“I am.” Emily’s smile was small and, for just
a second, a little sad.

Derian’s middle clenched. “Does that make you
unhappy?”

Light leapt in Emily’s eyes. “Oh no. Never,
not for a second.”

“But there’s something, isn’t there?”

Emily laughed, a little tremor in her voice.
“I’m just being me. I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

Derian frowned. “Where am I going?”

Emily grinned, the sadness vanishing in the
face of so much joy. She had fallen in love with a woman who lived on the edge.
She would cope. “Oh, you know, race cars, fancy casinos, and…all of that.”

“There is no more all of that, only you.”
Derian pushed up on the bed and pulled Emily into her arms. “Clearly, I have
not done a good job of this proposal business.”

“You did a perfectly wonderful job. I will
never forget you, on your knees in the park, or the things you said.”

“Good, because I meant all of them.” Derian
brushed Emily’s hair from her neck, kissed the tender spot below her ear, drew
her in. Emily’s scent flooded her with the essence of belonging. “You’re the
only woman in the world I want, the only thing I need. I love you. I need you,
I need to be with you.”

“Derian…” Emily put her lips to Derian’s
throat where she could feel her pulse race, taste the life and power of her,
bask in the preciousness of being so close. “I love you too, with all my heart.
And I want you to be happy. I want you to live the life you want to live, and
it’s not back in—”

“It’s with you, Emily. Where you are, that’s
where my life is.”

Emily swallowed hard, wishing that little
logical part of her brain would shut up and let her just believe in this fairy
tale. But she loved Derian too much to let her give up the things that mattered
to her. “I’ll always be there for you, I promise. I’m a one-woman woman, and
you have my heart.”

“Then why don’t you believe that you are my
heart?”

“I would like nothing better than to go to
sleep with you every night and wake up next to you every day,” Emily said,
giving voice to the dream. “But not if it means caging you in, making you
unhappy.”

“It won’t. I want that too. Every day for the
rest of my life.” Derian kissed her. “So if it’s all right with you, I’ll be
heading home with you. And staying.”

“I would love that, but what will you do?”

“I’ll have to travel sometimes for racing
business, sure, and I’ll hate every second away from you. But I can cut down my
personal appearances so I won’t be away very often.”

“Maybe,” Emily said slowly, a new, breathtaking
image of the future forming, one she believed was not a dream, “I can come with
you sometimes.”

“I’d love that.” Joy erupted in Derian’s
chest. “Whenever, wherever you want to go. I’d love for you to come.”

“As long as you promise no celebrity photos.”

Laughing Derian nuzzled her neck. “Can’t
promise that—you’ll look gorgeous on camera.”

Emily pressed against her. Beautiful is
exactly how Derian made her feel. “What will you do the rest of the time?”

“I thought I’d get a little more involved in
the business. I have a seat on the board I’ve never bothered with. I’m good
with numbers, and I have accumulated a great many international contacts.” She
shrugged. “It might even be fun.”

Emily rolled her eyes, the idea of
high-powered business dealings her farthest idea from fun. But Derian had a
knack for it, and it was, after all, her legacy. “What about your father?”

“For all he’s constantly criticized me for
not taking part, he probably won’t like it.” Derian grinned and kissed Emily.
“And you were right about one thing, I enjoy irritating him. So that’s a
bonus.”

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