The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (883 page)

LAERTES

I am somewhat satisfied. The death of my father and sister is motivation for revenge, but I am an honorable man. I accept your apologies and love for what they are.

I am satisfied in nature,
Whose motive, in this case, should stir me most
To my revenge: but in my terms of honour
I stand aloof; and will no reconcilement,
Till by some elder masters, of known honour,
I have a voice and precedent of peace,
To keep my name ungored. But till that time,
I do receive your offer'd love like love,
And will not wrong it.

HAMLET

Thank you. Let’s play a friendly game. Give us the weapons.

I embrace it freely;
And will this brother's wager frankly play.
Give us the foils. Come on.

LAERTES

Give me one, too.

Come, one for me.

HAMLET

I’m going to go easy, Laertes, and make you look like a shining star in the darkest night.

I'll be your foil, Laertes: in mine ignorance
Your skill shall, like a star i' the darkest night,
Stick fiery off indeed.

LAERTES

Don’t mock me, sir.

You mock me, sir.

HAMLET

I’m not.

No, by this hand.

KING CLAUDIUS

Give them the weapons, young Osric. Hamlet, you know what’s at stake?

Give them the foils, young Osric. Cousin Hamlet,
You know the wager?

HAMLET

Yes, my lord. You have bet against the odds.

Very well, my lord
Your grace hath laid the odds o' the weaker side.

KING CLAUDIUS

I’m not afraid. I have seen you both, but since he’s better we’ve given him a handicap.

I do not fear it; I have seen you both:
But since he is better'd, we have therefore odds.

LAERTES

This sword is too heavy. Let me see another.

This is too heavy, let me see another.

HAMLET

This one fits me well. Are they all the same length?

This likes me well. These foils have all a length?

They prepare to play

OSRIC

Yes, my lord.

Ay, my good lord.

KING CLAUDIUS

Put the wine on that table. If Hamlet begins to win, I’ll drink to his health. Then, I will put a poison in the cup stronger than the last four kings of Denmark combined. Give me the cups. Let the drum and trumpeters begin. Let’s begin. Watch, judges.

Set me the stoops of wine upon that table.
If Hamlet give the first or second hit,
Or quit in answer of the third exchange,
Let all the battlements their ordnance fire:
The king shall drink to Hamlet's better breath;
And in the cup an union shall he throw,
Richer than that which four successive kings
In Denmark's crown have worn. Give me the cups;
And let the kettle to the trumpet speak,
The trumpet to the cannoneer without,
The cannons to the heavens, the heavens to earth,
'Now the king dunks to Hamlet.' Come, begin:
And you, the judges, bear a wary eye.

HAMLET

Come on, sir.

Come on, sir.

LAERTES

Come, my lord.

Come, my lord.

They play

HAMLET

One.

One.

LAERTES

No.

No.

HAMLET

Judges?

Judgment.

OSRIC

It was a hit.

A hit, a very palpable hit.

LAERTES

Well, try that again.

Well; again.

KING CLAUDIUS

Someone give me a drink. Hamlet, this pearl is for you, and here’s to your health.

Stay; give me drink. Hamlet, this pearl is thine;
Here's to thy health.

Trumpets sound, and cannon shot off within

Give him the cup.

Give him the cup.

HAMLET

I don’t want it right now. Just, set it down. Come on.

I'll play this bout first; set it by awhile. Come.

They play

I think that was another hit. And, you?

Another hit; what say you?

LAERTES

You did touch me, I confess.

A touch, a touch, I do confess.

KING CLAUDIUS

Our son is going to win.

Our son shall win.

QUEEN GERTRUDE

He’s fat and out of breath. Here, Hamlet, take my napkin and rub the sweat out of your eyes. I drink to your future, Hamlet.

He's fat, and scant of breath.
Here, Hamlet, take my napkin, rub thy brows;
The queen carouses to thy fortune, Hamlet.

HAMLET

Thank you, madam!

Good madam!

KING CLAUDIUS

Gertrude, do not drink from that cup.

Gertrude, do not drink.

QUEEN GERTRUDE

I will, my lord. Now, if you’ll excuse me.

I will, my lord; I pray you, pardon me.

KING CLAUDIUS

[Aside]

It’s the poisoned cup. It’s too late.

It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.

HAMLET

I don’t want anything to drink, yet. Maybe, later.

I dare not drink yet, madam; by and by.

QUEEN GERTRUDE

Come, let my wipe your face.

Come, let me wipe thy face.

LAERTES

My lord, I’ll hit him now.

My lord, I'll hit him now.

KING CLAUDIUS

I don’t think so.

I do not think't.

LAERTES

[Aside]

I almost feel wrong about this.

And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.

HAMLET

Have you come for the third, Laertes. You are too late. Take your best shot. I’m not a child; I’m ready.

Come, for the third, Laertes: you but dally;
I pray you, pass with your best violence;
I am afeard you make a wanton of me.

LAERTES

Oh yea? Come on.

Say you so? come on.

They play

OSRIC

They are so close.

Nothing, neither way.

LAERTES

Here’s one for you.

Have at you now!

LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES

KING CLAUDIUS

Pull them apart. They aren’t playing.

Part them; they are incensed.

HAMLET

No, let us go again.

Nay, come, again.

QUEEN GERTRUDE falls

OSRIC

Someone look after the queen!

Look to the queen there, ho!

HORATIO

They are both bleeding. How are you, my lord?

They bleed on both sides. How is it, my lord?

OSRIC

How are you, Laertes?

How is't, Laertes?

LAERTES

Like a trapped animal, Osric. I am killed by my own evil desires.

Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric;
I am justly kill'd with mine own treachery.

HAMLET

How’s the queen?

How does the queen?

KING CLAUDIUS

She just fainted at the sight of the blood.

She swounds to see them bleed.

QUEEN GERTRUDE

No, no, it’s the drink. Oh, my dear Hamlet, the drink is poisoned. I am dying.

No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,--
The drink, the drink! I am poison'd.

Dies

HAMLET

Oh, what villains! Lock the door. Find out who did this.

O villany! Ho! let the door be lock'd:
Treachery! Seek it out.

LAERTES

Here, Hamlet. You are as good as dead. Nothing can save you now. You have less than an hour. The sword’s tip was poisoned. Your mother is poisoned, and it’s the king’s fault.

It is here, Hamlet: Hamlet, thou art slain;
No medicine in the world can do thee good;
In thee there is not half an hour of life;
The treacherous instrument is in thy hand,
Unbated and envenom'd: the foul practise
Hath turn'd itself on me lo, here I lie,
Never to rise again: thy mother's poison'd:
I can no more: the king, the king's to blame.

HAMLET

The sword is poisoned. Then, let the venom do its work!

The point!--envenom'd too!
Then, venom, to thy work.

Stabs KING CLAUDIUS

All

Treason! Treason!

Treason! treason!

KING CLAUDIUS

I am only hurt. Defend me, friends.

O, yet defend me, friends; I am but hurt.

HAMLET

Here you incestuous, murderous, Dane. Damn you to hell. Drink the rest of this, and go with my mother.

Here, thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane,
Drink off this potion. Is thy union here?
Follow my mother.

KING CLAUDIUS dies

LAERTES

He got what he deserved. He poisoned himself. Please forgive me, Hamlet, and I will forgive you. My father’s death or mine are not your fault, just like your death is not my fault.

He is justly served;
It is a poison temper'd by himself.
Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet:
Mine and my father's death come not upon thee,
Nor thine on me.

Dies

HAMLET

God will free you in heaven. I am on my way. I am dying, Horatio! Goodbye, wretched queen. If I had time, I could tell you all a thing or two, but death waits for no man. Horatio, tell them everything and set this story straight.

Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.
I am dead, Horatio. Wretched queen, adieu!
You that look pale and tremble at this chance,
That are but mutes or audience to this act,
Had I but time--as this fell sergeant, death,
Is strict in his arrest--O, I could tell you--
But let it be. Horatio, I am dead;
Thou livest; report me and my cause aright
To the unsatisfied.

HORATIO

No one will believe it. I am more like an ancient Roman, than a corrupt Dane. Here’s some poisonous drink.

Never believe it:
I am more an antique Roman than a Dane:
Here's yet some liquor left.

HAMLET

Give me that cup. Let go. I swear, I’ll take it from you, Horatio. If you ever cared about me, then don’t do this. Stay and tell my story.