The Confession (30 page)

“No. I will stop twirling you, but I
refuse to put you down. You feel too sexy in my arms.”

“I have to
say, Mr. Brady,
that you have become very vocal in
conveying
your feelings towards me.”

“You, my love have
freed
me. If this letter is my official separation from the church,
we are getting married as soon as possible. Mom told me last month
that she would plan everything. All we have to do is show up for
the ceremony.”

“Do you think she is in a hurry to get
us married?”

“Oh, you can guarantee it.
They want
grandchildren
.”

“Your relationship with your parents is
so strong. They love you.”

“Yes it is, and I love them. I feel
like a different person. I feel free, for lack of a better word. I
feel free from the weight of the past. I feel free to love you
without the scorn of others. I just feel incredibly
blessed.”

Colin and Margaret arrived with the
letter, and a basket full of homemade muffins. The children loved
her chocolate chip muffins. She handed the letter to John and he
stood looking at it. He was afraid to open it.

Colin barked, “What are you waiting for
John? Open the damn letter.”

John opened the letter,
read the
contents
and smiled. Today is the first
day of his new life.

Margaret became a whirling
dervish as she planned John and Jennifer’s wedding. The couple
wanted an intimate wedding with only the immediate family. The days
leading up to the
wedding
were hectic for everyone. Last
minute changes to the
menu
had Margaret screaming at the
caterer. John started Thursday morning with a visit from Gail. It
surprised him when she knocked on his office door. “Uncle John,
It’s Gail, can I come in?”

It surprised John to hear
her voice. John rose
from
his seat and opened the door.
“Gail, how are you?”

“I
'm all right,
Uncle
John. I wanted to speak to you before the wedding. Do you have the
time now?”

“I always have time for you Gail.
Please, sit down. Would you like something to drink? I always keep
ginger ale and orange juice in the refrigerator for the children.
Jason loves orange juice in his soda. I also have oatmeal raisin
cookies that Jenny made yesterday.”

“That sounds good, thanks.”

Several minutes later, they
both had cookies and soda. John leaned forward and placed his hands
on his desk. “Now that we are high on sugar, what can I do
for
you,
Gail?”

Hesitantly, she said, “I want to say
something to you. I’ve had several conversations with my mother in
the past few months. We talked about everything, and on some level,
I still found it hard letting go of the anger. Something happened
to me recently, and it made me re-evaluate the
situation.”

John sat back in his chair
and placed his hands
on
his lap. He did not want Gail seeing
his hands shake. “I’m almost afraid to ask what changed your
opinion of me.”

“It was the weekend you and
Aunt Jenny went on a
retreat
. I stayed at her house with
Olivia and Jason. I had so much fun that weekend. Mom and I took
them to the aquarium to see as Olivia calls them, ‘the
fishies.'
We were sitting in the food court, and Olivia looked
sad.”

“What’s wrong Olivia? You
look sad.”

“I miss my daddy. When is
he coming home?”

“Mommy and Daddy will be
home on Monday. That’s only two days.”

“I love my Daddy. He reads
to
me
and takes me places. We have fun. He calls me
chubby cheeks.”

“I’m sure you have a lot of
fun.”

“I’m happy he is my
daddy.”

Gail turned to Jason and
said, “Do you miss Mommy and Daddy?”

The look on his face melted
Gail’s heart. Tears welled in his beautiful blue eyes.

“Will Daddy come back? Will
he stay away like my other Daddy?”

Gail lifted him off
the
chair
and sat him on her lap. Lydia sat in awe as Gail
soothed two innocent souls. It was heartwarming and she fought the
urge to cry.

“Honey, what happened to
your other Daddy was sad. Your Daddy was a brave soldier. Uncle
John is not a soldier, and he will be home in two days. Daddy is at
a school for Ministers. He wants to be the best Minister, and also
the best Daddy.”

“He is the best Daddy. He
tells me funny stories, and we ride our bikes after supper, and he
plays with me.”

“Do you love your
Daddy?”

“Uh huh, I love my new
Daddy. He took us to see my other Daddy. I was sad and I
cried.
Daddy
said it
was ok
to cry.”

“Do you want to talk to
Mommy and Daddy? I can call them.”

In a sad, timid voice,
Jason said, “I miss Daddy.”

Gail reached for her phone
and called John. “Hi Uncle John, I have two lonely babies who miss
Mommy and Daddy. They want to speak to you.” Gail put the call on
speaker, and when the children heard his voice, they became
animated and happy.”

“Hi Olivia and Jason, are
you being good for Aunt Gail?”

Olivia screamed into the
phone. “Daddy, the fishies are so big.”

Jason chimed in. “Daddy, I
saw a big shark. Aunt Gail bought me a shark toy. I had
fun.”

John laughed into the
phone. “I’m happy the two of you are having fun. Mommy and Daddy
miss both of you.”

Jason leaned into the phone
and whispered, “Are you coming home soon?”

“Yes, little man. Mommy and
Daddy will be home on Monday.”

“Are you sure you’re
coming
back
?”

John soon realized the
children are suffering from separation anxiety.

“I am sure. Mommy and
Daddy will be home Monday morning. Would you and Olivia like to go
to the food court for lunch? After
we eat
, we can go visit gram
and gramps. Would you like that?”

Both children brightened
with excitement and screamed a unified “Yes.”

“Ok, funny bunnies, Daddy
has to go back to his meeting. I’ll call you tonight before
bedtime. Love you so much. Gail,
call
me when its bedtime
and
I will read
them a story.”

“Ok,
Uncle John. I’ll call
you.”

After she had
disconnected
the phone, she said, “Do you want to see more
fishies?”

Later that night, Gail
watched Olivia and Jason stare at her phone in silent fascination
as John read them a bedtime story. By the time he finished his
story, both children were sleeping peacefully. Gail retrieved her
phone and slipped quietly from the room.

“They’re down for the
count. You also had my eyes drooping. You are an excellent
storyteller
.”

John laughed. “It’s my
favorite time of the day. I love them so much Gail. They own my
heart.”

Those few words changed
Gail’s opinion and the last remnants of her anger
dissipated.

“It
is obvious they love
Daddy.”

“God has granted me my most
desired wish. I have a family that I love beyond words. I love all
of you.”

“That was a very special weekend for
me. The person you are now is not the same person who hurt my
mother. I want to tell you that I love you, and I am happy you are
a part of my life. I wanted to hate you, and when I first found out
that you are my biological father, I did not want to see you again.
You will never know how devastated I was when I learned the truth.
My dad tried to keep a positive attitude, but it felt like
everything that I thought was solid in my life fell
apart.”

“What I discovered in the
last few months is that you are
a good
person, and good people
sometimes make mistakes. I hate the fact that you hurt my mom. I
also knew you hated yourself, and that made me feel good. I wanted
to see you suffer. I no longer want to see you suffer. Leaving the
church was the best decision you could have made. Anyway, I just
want to say that I forgive you, and I hope we can be
friends.”

John walked around his
desk, sat next to her, and held her hand. “I know it took courage
for you to say this to me. I have prayed that you would find it in
your heart to forgive me. I also hoped we would eventually have a
relationship with each other. I will always be your Uncle. Adam
is
your
father, and he loves you with his whole heart, and
I love all of you.”

“I remember the day I entered the
seminary. I was so distraught about what I did to your mother. I
remember sitting on the curb crying like a baby. My life was a
mess. I was addicted to cocaine and I can honestly say I wanted to
die. I wanted to end the pain, and I did not care how I did
it.”

“A very kind and gentle
priest helped me that day. He sat with me and took care of me as
I
suffered from
horrible withdraw. You are
correct
when you said
good people make mistakes. I
have
to be honest when I say I
was not
a good
man
.
Had I been one, I never would have hurt Lydia. Was I happy knowing
I was your father? Yes, I was elated, because I had given up any
hope of having a family. My time as a priest, when I look back now,
was a form of punishment. I had to seek absolution, and being a
priest was the vessel. It was an incorrect motivation, but I can
say I was a good priest. I grew into that role and I was
happy.”

“I am
glad you are
here
today. I am very proud of you Gail. You are a beautiful,
intelligent young woman. I am proud that a part of me lives on in
you. I will always love
you, as
your Uncle John.
In two days,
I begin the next chapter in my life, and I am
honored you will share this special day with us.”

A single tear
escaped
from
her beautiful green eye, and John gently wiped it
from her cheek. “Why are you crying?”

Sighing, she said, “I feel a little
guilty sitting here with you. I don’t want to hurt my dad. I want
us to have a relationship.”

“Gail honey, you are not
hurting your father by having a conversation with your Uncle. Adam
told me that he gave you a copy of the adoption papers. Legally, I
am no longer your father. I waived that
privilege
so that Adam
could adopt you. Being a father is not about biology. I was not
there when you were a child. Please do not feel guilt when you are
with me. Your father and I have made
considerable
progress
reconnecting as brothers. We’ve discussed the possibility of us
having a relationship. I told Adam I would respect your boundaries.
I would not insert myself
into
your life if you did not wish it.
I’ve waited patiently for this day Gail. Always remember that I am
your Uncle, and we will have a great friendship. Do not put this
stress on your shoulders.”

“Ok,
thanks,
Uncle
John. Is it ok if I tell you I love you?”

“It’s more than
ok
Gail because I also love
you.
”