Authors: Jeanette Muscella
Tags: #crisis of faith, #families in crisis, #fiction about relationships and families
“Hold
me,
Adam. Tell me
you still love me.”
Adam cradled her in his arms. The
gentle rocking back and forth calmed her. “Listen to me Lydia. You
are the heart that beats within me. I have loved you from the
moment I first saw you. Nothing and no one will ever change my love
for you. If you want to move to get away from him, just say the
word, and I will put the house up for sale.”
“I can’t run from this for
the remainder of my life Adam. I have to face what happened to me.
I have to be strong for our
daughter
because she will have
to live with the fact that you are not her biological father. She
will have to live with the fact that her uncle raped me. I must
focus on Gail. My pain is old, hers is new, and she needs
us.”
Adam smiled as he held her. “That’s
what I want to hear. For as much as I want to have John suffer,
what good would it do now? I don’t want that vileness to seep into
our home. Let’s focus on Gail.” He reached over to the shower rack
and filled his hands with soap. “I seem to recall you enjoyed it
when I ran my soapy hands all over your body. Close your eyes
honey, and just feel me.”
Lydia placed her palms against the
shower wall and closed her eyes. Adam gently and expertly ran his
soapy hands over every inch of her body. As he did so, he felt her
relax. “That’s it honey, loosen those tense muscles.”
“I love
you,
Adam.”
“I love
you,
Lydia, with
every fiber of my
being.
”
Bobby paced the confines of
his house for what felt like hours. His mother finally
stopped
crying,
and the house was eerily quiet. He resisted the
urge to run upstairs and check on his parents. It killed him
keeping this secret. His father trusted
him,
and it constricted
his heart.
Finally, he heard his
parents talking as they came into the kitchen. Bobby set the table
and had lunch ready in the refrigerator. “Hey you two, sit down and
I’ll get
everything
ready. Mom, do you want iced
tea or soda?”
Lydia took a minute to
absorb the fact her son made lunch. “Um,
soda
would be good.
Thanks honey for making
these sandwiches.”
Adam looked at Bobby and
smiled. A silent acknowledgment passed between them. “While you’re
at it, I’d like
one
too
. We need to have a little celebration.
Our son has finally learned how to feed himself. Can we expect more
meals, or is this a
one-off
?”
Their carefree laughter lightened the
mood. “Hey Dad, don’t expect me to grab the pots and pans. I only
know how to make sandwiches.”
“I’ll take whatever I can
get
Bobby.
The fact that you made lunch is a beginning. You
know, once you move into Gail’s apartment, you will have to feed
yourself from time to time.”
“I thought this kitchen would be a
take-out set up. Do I really have to cook for myself? Maybe I
should stay in the house, and let Gail keep the
apartment.”
Lydia suddenly felt the need to have
her son near her. “I would like it if you stayed in the house. I’m
not ready for you to grow up. Also, Gail will need us when she
comes home from the hospital.”
“Whatever you need Mom. I’ll be happy
to help in whatever way I can.”
Adam reached across the
table and held his son’s hand. “Thank
you,
Bobby. Your mother and
I will need your help.”
A gentle squeeze of the
hand by Bobby was an
acknowledgment
of his willingness to
help. “Whatever you need Dad, you only need to ask. I missed Gail.
When is she coming home?”
“Your mother and I are going to the
hospital as soon as we eat this fabulous lunch. I’ll let you know
when she is coming home later today.”
“Tell the squirt I love her, and I plan
on torturing her with B-rated horror movies. I already have them in
my Net Flix queue. She can expect hours and hours of screaming and
drooling.”
“I am sure your sister will
love spending time with you. She will be off her feet for a few
months, and knowing her, she will be climbing the walls with
boredom. Anything you can do to keep her occupied would be helpful.
You know how she hates
being confined
.”
“Boy do I know. She ran me ragged when
we were kids. I couldn’t keep up with her.”
“Take her mind off it as much as you
can. Therapy will be difficult and painful. She needs our
support.”
Bobby looked
sad,
and that squeezed Adam’s heart. He still blamed himself for
the accident. “Don’t do that Bobby. Don’t let your sister see that
look on your face. I have told you already this was an accident.
You are not to blame for what happened. Imagine if your sister
hadn’t pushed you out of the way.
Imagine
how your mother and I
would feel if both of our precious children were in the hospital.
You are not at fault son. Your grandfather told me the car left the
scene, and he was unable to see the license plate. Did you see
anything?”
“No, Dad. I was still on the ground
when the car took off. I hope the bastard rots in hell.”
Adam agreed with his son.
Gail was awake and watching television
when Adam and Lydia walked into her room. Her face lit up when they
sat next to her on the bed. Adam reached out to hold her hand. “How
is my munchkin feeling today? How’s the pain in your
leg?”
“It doesn’t hurt too much as long as
they keep pumping whatever it is into this IV. Did Dr. David say
when I can go home?”
“Why don’t I leave you
alone with mommy for a few minutes and I’ll ask him.” Adam reached
over to the foot of the bed and grabbed her patient chart. He
quickly scanned her vitals, which all looked good. Her cognitive
responses were
normal
, and there were no signs
of
a severe
concussion. “Well, from what I can see, all of
your vitals look
normal,
which I find hard to
believe
because we all know you are far from normal.”
Gail laughed as she held a pillow
against her chest. “Don’t make me laugh Daddy, you know my ribs
hurt!”
Adam patted her good leg.
“Sorry sweetheart, I couldn’t help myself. Sit
tight,
and I’ll be
back in a few minutes.”
As soon as Adam left the room, Gail
sagged against the pillow. Her eyes grew moist with tears. “It
hurts Mom, knowing he is not my real father. How am I supposed to
live with the truth that I was an accident? Why did Uncle John do
this to you? I hate him!”
Taken aback by her
questions, Lydia swore to herself that she would put the past
behind her, and focus on the health and happiness of her daughter.
“I have been asking myself that same question for the past few
days. For me, this just happened. The drug took away the memory. On
some level, I have been trying to remember. Nightmares plagued me
for years, and it was always the same dream. It wasn’t until I knew
the truth that the
dream
became
apparent
.”
When Adam was unable to
speak to David because he was in a meeting, he returned to his
daughter’s
room
and stood by the door, giving Lydia time alone
to
talk
with Gail. Her words stabbed his heart.
“I don’t know why he did
this to me. We were friends for a long time
before I married
Daddy.
You heard what he said yesterday, however; his explanation does
nothing to resolve the anger I feel towards him. He took something
precious from me, Gail. I looked forward to our first night as
husband and wife. It meant something to me knowing that Adam would
be the only man to touch my body.”
Lydia took hold of Gail’s
hand. “I want you to look at
me
honey, and I want you to
remember what I am about to say. Will you do this for
me,
Gail?”
“Yes, Mom, I will.”
“I remember the look on
your father’s face when the doctor placed you in his arms for the
very first time. You were so tiny and fragile. Adam was afraid to
hold
you
and tried to give you back to the doctor.” Lydia
laughed at the memory. “Every night he sat in your nursery and
watched you while you slept.
He
was still completing his
residency, and he never complained about being tired. He ran home
after a long day and walked around the house with your tiny body
cradled against his chest. He refused to put you down.”
“Honey, the definition of
‘father’ means many different things. For Adam, it means loving
your child so completely; you would give your life to protect this
precious life. Your
dad
loves you with every fiber of his
being. Who sat with you when you were sick? Who took you to the
park, the zoo, and all of the other places you dragged him to every
weekend? Who cried when you started first grade? Who sat
crying like a baby
when you graduated from high school? It was your
father. Being a father is much more than biology. Adam has shown
you for the past eighteen years that he loves you. He will continue
loving you until he takes his final breath.”
“I know
what happened was horrible. I will never regret it because
something beautiful arose from something ugly.
I have my precious
daughter,
and I love
you, Gail.
You are
my very best friend. I am so proud of the young women you’ve
become. I want you to live your life to the fullest, and always
remember that your mother and father will always love and support
you.”
Those few words meant the world to
Gail. It eased some of the pain she felt. She worried that her
relationship with her father would change. Adam, who still stood
outside her door crumbled and slumped to the floor. Gail and Lydia
heard him crying and became concerned.
“Is that
Daddy
crying outside my door?” She looked horrified and covered her
face with her hands.
“It’s ok honey. Let me talk
to
Daddy
for a few minutes. Close your eyes and try to
relax. Everything will be ok.” Lydia walked into the hallway and
found Adam sitting on the floor. He had his face buried in his
hands, and when Lydia touched his shoulder, he broke down again.
“Honey, get up off the floor and come into Gail’s room. We need to
be strong for each other. Did you hear what I said to
her?”
“Yeah, I heard all of it. My heart is
breaking Lydia. I hate seeing my baby upset because of that
bastard! I swear I want to hurt him in the worst possible
way.”
“The best way to hurt him
is to ignore him. I refuse to play the victim. I also refuse to
accept his apology. We have
a loving marriage
, and
beautiful
, talented children. I want him out of my life.”