Authors: Jeanette Muscella
Tags: #crisis of faith, #families in crisis, #fiction about relationships and families
Adam looked up to see his
son
standing
in the doorway. His eyes were
begging his son
to
remain silent.
Understanding
passed between
them
and
closing
his eyes in silent prayer, Bobby handed the glass
of water to his mother. Several tense minutes passed as the
medication began to work. Adam carried his wife to the parking
garage and gently placed her in the back seat of the car. Adam
found a beach towel in the trunk and wrapped it around his wife.
Lydia sat motionless as the tears continued to flow. Looking
for his son’s
assistance, he handed him the keys. “Take your
time and pay attention to the road. I will take care of your
mother.”
Lydia fell asleep during
the ride home, and Adam gently carried her up to their bedroom.
Bobby was standing in the hallway when Adam exited their
room.
He
whispered
, “Will she be ok? What happened
at the hospital? I heard what she said about Uncle John. Is it
true? When did it happen?”
“Bobby, I don’t know how to
say this. My brother took advantage of her when she was unable to
defend herself. He gave her a drug and, how can I say this,
he…he…used her sexually. What he did was reprehensible. I am
speaking to you as a man Bobby, not as my son. What you have heard
today must remain between the two of us. If your mother found out
you knew what happened to her, it would devastate her. I want your
promise you will not discuss this with anyone, not Aunt Mary, your
sister, no one.
I want
this to
remain a secret until I have
figured out how to deal with the
fallout
. Do I have your
word,
Bobby?”
Bobby felt like his entire world tilted
on its axis. He had to protect his mother. “I promise. I will not
say a word to anyone. Why would he do this to Mom? She never hurt
anyone. How could he hurt her? How did you discover the
truth?”
Adam had to protect his
daughter. “I cannot go into the details. I will tell you that John
confessed to what he did to my parents nineteen years ago. He never
mentioned the girls name in the letter. They chose to keep it a
secret.
I swear I am so
angry I want to hit something.
My first
concern is your mother. I will deal with the rest of my family at a
later time.”
Shocked by what he had just
heard, Bobby fell
into
his father and let the tears flow.
“How could they keep this a secret? I hate them!”
“I know how you feel. Go downstairs and
watch TV. I’ll stay with mommy.” Hesitantly, Bobby walked away from
his father.
Adam went back into his bedroom, sat in
the chair facing their bed, and watched his wife sleep. When he was
confident that she would sleep through the night, he quietly left
the room. Bobby was still watching television when Adam walked into
the family room.
He turned off the television when he
heard his father come into the room. “How’s Mom? Is she still
sleeping?”
Adam sat next to his son
and rubbed his aching neck. “The sedative I gave her will have her
sleeping for at least eight hours. How are
you,
Bobby?”
“I don’t know how to answer that
question. I’m furious something like this happened to Mom. I don’t
understand why gram and gramps would keep this a secret. Uncle John
committed a crime, and even if they didn’t know the girl’s name,
they should have told the family about the letter. Were they trying
to protect him?”
“Who the fuck knows what
was in their
head,
Bobby. They had a moral obligation
to tell us the truth. John spent a lot of time with your mother.
They were friends.”
“Can he still be charged with a
crime?”
“I don’t know. At this point in time, I
believe the statute of limitation has expired.”
“What are we going to do?”
“We are going to take care
of your mother. I will deal with my family later. I want you to
check on your
mom
. I need to go back to the hospital
in a few hours to see Gail.”
The doorbell rang. Adam opened the door
to find his mother standing before him. “What do you want Mother?
Haven’t you caused enough trouble today?”
“I came to give you John’s
letter.”
Adam took the letter from her and
proceeded to close the door. Margaret stopped him. “I am sorry
Adam. We made the only decision we could at the time. We never
imagined this would happen. I don’t know what else to
say.”
“You have a lot to
say,
Mother. Think about the nineteen years of silence, and when
you can explain your actions to my satisfaction, I may consider
talking to you. A crime was committed and the two of you remained
silent. Until then, please stay away from my family. Lydia is
nearly catatonic. How do I explain this to my daughter?”
Later that night, Adam read
the letter. Seeing the words written by his brother made his blood
boil. Unable to sleep, Adam returned to the hospital at four in the
morning to check on his daughter. As he sat next to Gail’s bed, the
events of the previous day caught up
with
him. Tears burned his
eyes as
he
watched Gail sleep. He had to find a way to make
his brother pay for this sin, this crime. Knowing the statute of
limitation has long since expired on filing criminal charges, he
needed to come up with another plan to extract his
revenge.
Chapter 6
When Adam left the
hospital, he stopped by the church. He sat in the front pew and
stared at the altar. His mind
raced,
and he found it hard to
concentrate on anything. His
heart, as well as his faith in God,
was shattered
into
a million pieces. Looking over to the confessional, he noticed that
the light was on above the door. Gathering his courage, he walked
over to the confessional and pushed back the curtain. Unaware that
his brother was sitting on the other side of the wall, Adam started
speaking.
“I need help Father. Something terrible
has happened to my wife, and I cannot handle the anger that rages
inside me.”
I recognize my brother’s voice. What
did he just say about Lydia? “Whatever is troubling you, please
share it with me. With the help of Our Lord Jesus Christ, we will
find the path to enlightenment and peace.”
Adam bared it all in the
hopes of finding some peace. “My wife discovered yesterday that
she
had been
drugged
and raped
a few months
after
we
were
married
. She had no memory of this due to
the drug given to her. My brother raped my wife.”
My mind goes blank as I
take in Adam’s words. How did they discover the truth? Dear Lord,
help
me,
please. I cannot speak. My body trembles
uncontrollably. I feel like I am suffocating. I lean forward and
rest my arms on my legs. A sob erupts from the depths of my
troubled soul.
Adam hears me crying on the other side
of the screen and becomes concerned. “Father, are you ok? Why are
you crying?”
I need to run. I need to
escape this confessional. I feel like I am in prison. The walls are
closing in
on
me. I push back the curtain and run from the
church. I make it outside, collapse on the steps, and try in vain
to catch my breath.
Adam heard his footsteps and pushed
back the curtain. Looking around at the empty church, he walked
outside and saw his brother sitting on the steps. Father Brady’s
body shook violently, his fingers wrapped around the rosary. Adam
stood behind his brother and watched him fall apart.
Someone walking by the church walked up
the steps and sat down next to John. “Father, what’s wrong. Are you
ill?”
“Go find Father O’Connell,
please.”
Adam quietly walked back into the
church and left by the sacristy door.
Father O’Connell ran to the
church and found John lying on the concrete step. “Father Brady,
why are you lying on the
concrete steps
? Are you ill?”
“Yes Father, I am
very
sick
.
Please,
help me to the
rectory.” I follow Father O’Connell as we walk to the rectory. My
legs feel like rubber, and several times, I almost fall to the
ground. I am grateful for his assistance, however; the ghosts from
the past have once again found me. How will I survive this
turmoil?
Adam had
waited
a respectable amount of time before he walked to the rectory.
He fingered a copy of the letter
that
he had in his pocket.
Regardless of the outcome, Adam would have his fifteen minutes.
Father Mallard directed Adam to a small
sitting
room. There
were three other priests in the room. Father Brady sat quietly,
rosary beads in hand, head bowed in silent prayer.
I can feel Adam’s presence in this
small room. His anger radiates from him and it frightens me. When I
look up to face my brother, the look on his face shocks me. He
walks over to me and grabs my arm, his nails digging into my
skin.
“Come with me, Father,” Adam says with
dripping sarcasm. “We need to speak privately.”
I acknowledge his request
and ask him to follow me into my office. When Adam closes the door,
his fist connects with my jaw. Taken aback by the sudden punch, I
stumble backward, fall on a table, and hit the floor. The pain in
my face and back is intense. I rub my face
to
relieve the pain in
my jaw. I say the first thing that comes to me.
“Does punching me make you feel
better?
Did you know that I was in the
confessional when you entered it?” The day I dread most has finally
arrived.
Several priests hear the disturbance
and run into my office. Father Mallard grabbed Adam’s arm. “This is
a house of prayer. Violence in any form is unacceptable. Why did
you hit your brother?”
“Please,
Father Mallard; remove your
hand from my arm.
What
I have to discuss with John is
a personal
issue between my brother and myself.”
“What transpires in this
rectory is my
business,
Adam. I want to know why you
hit Father Brady.”
I am still sitting on the
floor, too stunned to move. Blood from where his ring cut me runs
down my face. The pain in my back intensifies. Adam looks down at
me with contempt in his eyes, the
contempt
that I so rightly
deserve.
“To answer your
question,
John, it is going to take more than one punch to make me feel
better. No, I did not know you were hearing confessions today, but
I am glad you heard me. I have much more to say to
you,
you sick fucking bastard!”
Shocked by the language,
Father Mallard said, “Please watch your
tongue
. We are in the
house of Our Lord Jesus Christ.”
“And that’s supposed to
mean something to me? Do you want to know why I am upset Father
Mallard?” Adam retrieved the letter from his pocket and handed it
to him. “Read this letter and then ask me why I am
angry
.”
I watch Father Mallard as
he leans against the wall and reads my letter. Several times, he
looks at me, and I can see horror and disgust clearly written on
his face. His hands shake as he continues reading. I finally get
up
off
the floor and walk over to a small shrine in the
corner of my office. I kneel before the cross with rosary beads
in
hand
and say a silent prayer for strength. The
conversation I am about to have with Adam will be difficult. Once I
have calmed my nerves, I walk over to Adam and sit next to him. I
finger my rosary beads, willing them to give me
strength.