The Consequences of Forever (1) (32 page)

             
“I didn’t bring a gift,” he apologized. “I had no idea what to buy or what you already had.”             

             
“This isn’t a gift party,” I replied. “It’s fine.” I led him into the dining room, where everyone still sat, talking.

             
“Mr. Winslow,” Julia said once she noticed him. She got to her feet and walked over to him. “It’s nice to finally really meet you.”

             
My dad extended his hand. “It’s Michael, please. And it’s really nice to finally meet you, as well. I can’t begin to describe how grateful I am to have you taking such wonderful care of my daughter.”

             
“It’s nothing, she’s family now.” Julia replied, wrapping her arm protectively around me. “Take a seat. There’s still some pizza left, if you’re hungry.”

             
“I just ate, but I’ve never been known to turn down pizza,” my dad admitted with a chuckle. Julia put a few slices on a plate for him, and he sat down. I sat down beside him.

             
The night continued on as it had started. Adam passed the book around, asking everyone to pick out their favorite name. It started off serious, but after the book had made its way around three times, people were just picking the strangest names they could find. Except my dad.

             
On his third time, he flipped through the L chapter. He tapped a name once and smiled, but it was a sad smile. “I’ve always liked the name Lila,” he admitted. He glanced up at me, but I quickly looked away.

             
“Not me,” I said. I could sense he wanted to say something else, but didn’t.

             
Everyone left around ten. My dad headed over to Hannah, offering to give her a ride, but she declined. “I already have one. Can I stay out until eleven?”              

             
My dad considered it for a minute, and then nodded. “Yeah, I’ll let your mom know.” He turned back to me. “Want to walk me out?”

             
I did, only because I felt obligated to. I walked him all the way to his car, the same beat up Wrangler he’d had for years. It was already worn own when he’d bought it; it was part of the charm, he’d insisted. Cars like that weren’t meant to stay clean and pristine. And suddenly in that moment, with that memory, I missed my dad with fierceness.

             
When he turned around to say his goodbyes, I practically threw myself into his arms. All the anger I’d felt earlier in the evening faded away, and I was back to being five again, having scraped my knee on the sidewalk and needing my father, my only parent, there to fix it. And he would, every time. He’d plant a quick kiss on it, sprinkle imaginary fairy dust on it, cover it with a band aid and that was that. All better, almost like the scrape had never existed in the first place. I wanted him to do that now, more than ever.

             
“Sweetheart, it’s going to be fine,” he reassured me now, rubbing my back. “You’re going to be fine.”

             
“I’m scared,” I managed to whimper.

             
He smiled down at me and nodded. “I know you are, but you’ve gotten this far; everything else will be a breeze, okay? I promise.”

             
I forced myself to nod, wanting to believe him. “Okay,” I whispered.

             
He kissed my forehead, and got into his car. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he promised. “Maybe we’ll make plans to do something together soon, just the two of us.”

             
I nodded, although I knew it wouldn’t happen. He wouldn’t call tomorrow. The next time we talked would be the next time I reached out to him. That was how it was with Mason, and that was how it was going to be with us now. “I love you, Dad,” I said for the second time that day.

             
“I love you too, sweetheart.” And then he was gone.

             
I made my way back to the house, only to find that Hannah had already left. “Who drove her home?” I asked Adam, confused. Scott was still there, sitting at the table with Sylvia, discussing something or other.

             
Adam looked uncertain, like he didn’t want to tell me. “Nolan drove her.”             

             
“What?”

             
He shrugged. “I don’t know. She came to say her goodbyes to everyone, and said he was driving her home.”

             
“Why didn’t you try to stop her?”

             
“Hannah is unstoppable, Lainey. She’s going to find a way to do what she wants, whether you let her or not.”

             
I sighed, because I knew it was true. The rain might have stopped, but the storm was still brewing.

Chapter Thirty-Two

              The rest of January flew by, and before I knew it, it was February.

             
Hannah made me go to the mall with her, the day before Valentine’s Day. I was nearly twenty-three weeks pregnant and my back was starting to ache if I walked around too much, so the last thing I felt like doing was walking around the mall with Hannah, staring all the millions of things she wanted but couldn’t afford. But she was Hannah, and I loved her, so I went.

             
“I need to find the sexiest, prettiest, most amazing dress ever,” she informed me as we entered the third department store of the evening.

             
“I don’t think you’re going to find that here,” I informed her. She frowned at me, but I just shrugged in response.

             
“It’s true,” I insisted. “But you might find something sort of kind of close.” I grinned at her, and she grudgingly grinned back.

             
“I’ve never been on a Valentine’s Day date before,” she sighed, heading to the nearest dress rack and flipping through them. “Come to think of it, I’ve never even been on an official date before. This needs to be perfect.”             

             
I said nothing, because Hannah wasn’t going to want to hear what I had to say. She had been seeing Nolan, secretly, since the night of the get together at Adam’s house. He was still with Maggie, officially, but apparently that was coming to an end that very night. He’d promised to spend Valentine’s Day with Hannah.

             
“Hannah, I hate to be a downer, but what if he changes his mind?”

             
“Why would he do that?” She asked, distracted. She held up a sparkly navy blue dress and frowned at her reflection in a nearby mirror.

             
“Because as of right now, he’s still with Maggie. She’s probably expecting them to do something together.”

             
“As of right this moment, he is breaking up with Naggie,” she replied, purposely mispronouncing her name. “He told me today at school. He’s sick of her.”

             
“Then why didn’t he break up with her sooner?” I asked. Hannah put the dress back on the rack and frowned.

             
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask, okay? It’s not really any of my business. What happens between them stays between them, and what happens between us is between us.”

             
I didn’t think I liked that policy, but it wasn’t my decision. However wrong her feelings for Nolan might appear to be in my opinion, they were real. He didn’t deserve it, but she cared for him deeply. I couldn’t undermine that.

             
“You don’t think it’s possible that maybe he really cares about me?” She asked, sounding hurt.

             
I thought back to New Year’s Eve, when I’d confronted Nolan; the look in his eyes. “I know he cares about you,” I said. “I just don’t think he’s all that great at showing it.”

             
“Maybe he’ll get better,” she said, hopefully. She turned back to the dresses. “How is this one?” She pulled out an all-too revealing one in an unsightly shade of red.

             
“I don’t think so, Hannah.”

             
“Why not? It’s red. Red is for Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?”             

             
“That’s not red, Hannah. That’s… I don’t even know what it is. But no. Please, no.”

             
She laughed and put it back on the rack. “Fine, point taken. Let’s go somewhere else.”

             
“Okay, but can we eat first? I think Little Hannah is hungry.” I’d taken to calling the baby Little Hannah because we were still undecided about a name, and it seemed to please Regular Hannah.

             
“Anything for my little niece,” she said, patting my stomach. We headed out of the store. The mall was surprisingly busy; it looked like half the town was there that day.

             
“What are you and Adam doing?” she asked as we made our way towards the food court.

             
“About what?”

             
“Valentine’s Day, you goof. Any big plans?”

             
I shook my head. “No, we haven’t even talked about it. I think we’re just going to stay at home, watch some movies, maybe.”

             
“That’s all? How lame.”

             
“It’s not lame,” I argued. “It would be dumb to go out and spend a bunch of money on dinner and stuff, with all the expenses we have coming up.” I felt guilty over not having a job and not having much left of my allowances after Christmas to buy things, but Ned and Julia were insistent about me not finding a job.

             
“That’s what baby showers are for,” she reminded me. “You’re not going to have to buy half the stuff you need.”

             
“It’s more than baby stuff, though. We’re moving into the guest house the first week of March, and we’re going to need some stuff for that.”

             
We found an empty table and sat down. “Why do you need to buy stuff?” She asked. “I thought it was fully furnished.”

             
“It is, but we’re going to want to decorate it a little, make it our own.” I’ve never been the decorative type, but I was determined to make that little guest house into a home. All of the places I’d grown up in had never really felt like homes, and even though Bella Vista was nice, it was a business first. There was no way of knowing how long we were going to be there, and if this baby’s first memories were made there, I wanted them to remember that even though it wasn’t much, it felt like everything.

             
“Oh. Well, I’ll help,” she announced. “Not with money, obviously, but I’ll help you pick stuff to decorate with.”

             
“That sounds good.”

             
“What do you want?” She asked, motioning towards the thinning lines at the food stands. “I’ll go get it and you can stay here, reserve the table.”

             
“Um, a salad, if they have any. With chicken.”

             
“Aren’t you supposed to be trying to gain weight?”

             
“Yeah, but I can do that without eating hamburgers and fries every day.” My stomach turned at the thought of a hamburger. I couldn’t believe I’d actually eaten them earlier in my pregnancy.

             
Hannah rolled her eyes but headed towards one of the restaurants anyway. I stayed where I was, studying the crowds of people around me. They were mostly all men, rushing around with random gift bags, looking like they wanted to be anywhere other than here.
Last minute gift shopping
, I thought, smiling to myself.

             
Last Valentine’s Day Scott and I had still been together. I didn’t remember it much, other than I’d gone to his house for dinner. Erin had gone all out, making as much of the food heart-shaped as she possibly could. Suddenly, I missed her. I’d never been that fond of her, in all honesty, which her nosiness and gossiping tendencies, but her absence was noticeable.

             
Hannah returned a few minutes later, a tray of food in hand, and she was frowning. I felt my heart sink. Had Nolan called her since she left the table, cancelling their date? She placed the tray on the table then flopped down in her seat.

             
“That was weird,” she remarked.

             
“What was weird?” I asked, taking my salad and pouring the entire packet of Caesar dressing over it.

             
“I could have sworn I saw Adam.”

             
“Adam?” I repeated. Adam was at home, waiting for me to call him to come pick us up.

             
“Yeah. I mean, it was only the back, but he was wearing the same leather jacket he always wears, and they had the same hair, and I don’t know, they walked the same.”

             
“A lot of guys have the same jacket and haircut, and they all walk the same,” I pointed out, but Hannah didn’t look convinced.

             
“You don’t think he came looking for us?”

             
I pulled my phone out and checked it. No new messages or missed calls. “No. He wouldn’t wander around aimlessly without trying to get into contact with me first.”

             
“If you’re sure,” Hannah replied, sounding anything but. She bit into her slice of pizza and winced. “Ouch, hot!”

             
Adam called an hour later, after we’d left the food court and Hannah finally found a dress that would work. It was white and incredibly simple, but when she put it on, it looked like it had been designed for her. There was no way Nolan could see her and think twice about trying to make things work. I told her that, and she radiated a happiness only Hannah could.

             
Hannah paid for the dress and we made our way through the mall and out the front entrance, where Adam was parked and waiting for us. I slid into the passenger seat; which was becoming an awkward task, with me still not used to the changes in my body, and smiled at him.

             
“Hey.”

             
“Hey, yourself.” He leaned in and kissed me. “How was shopping?”

             
“Hannah found the perfect dress. She thought she found you, too.”

             
“What?”

             
“I thought I saw you, about an hour ago,” Hannah spoke up from the backseat.

             
Adam looked confused. “I don’t know how you could have; I just got here a few minutes ago.”

             
“Did you talk to Nolan?” Hannah asked, already losing interest in the apparent Adam look-alike.

             
“No. Was I supposed to?”

             
“No.” She glanced down at her phone anxiously. I turned around so I could face her.

             
“Take it as a sign, Hannah. If he doesn’t call and if he doesn’t do what he says, he isn’t right for you. As much as it sucks to hear that, it’s true.”

             
“I know,” Hannah agreed. “But I really hope he calls.”

             
“I hope so, too.” I replied, hoping against hope that my gut instinct was wrong.