The Convenient Cowboy (11 page)

Chapter Eleven

Olympia opened the cabinet
looking for vanilla pudding to dip the spicy tortilla chips in. Yum. Since getting off bed rest and feeling better than she had in months, she’d not been able to stop eating this pregnancy-induced combo. That wouldn’t have been so bad, except Spence just had to point that the chips had three times the daily recommended amount of sodium whenever she complained that her shoes were tight. He just had to be right
and
couldn’t keep it to himself.

The slider squealed open. She started guiltily. Thank goodness it was Lavonda, who wouldn’t say a word or even give her the “look.” The other woman had become a good friend during Olympia’s bed rest. “I’m glad it’s you.”

“Why’s that? Besides the fact that you’re eating all Cal’s pudding.”

“I’m going stir crazy. I know Spence told you that I’m confined to quarters because I was a little dizzy last night. I did the weeks of bed rest like the doctor ordered. I’m fine. I don’t know why he gets so unreasonable.”

“Really, you’re complaining because someone is waiting on you hand and foot?” said the petite dark-haired woman, who looked like the corporate powerhouse she used to be, even in boots and jeans.

“Waiting on me hand and foot includes making me eat kale and sardines. Yuck.”

“Spence has been looking things up online again.”

“He says they’re good for the baby.” Olympia looked down. Six weeks after the scare, and her belly had gone from respectable bump to basketball status. Within forty-eight hours of getting home, Spence had gone out and bought her maternity clothing. Lucky for her he’d taken Rickie and Lavonda.

Her friend pulled the plastic cup from Olympia’s hand and pushed her toward the living room. “Go sit down. I’m getting myself a soda and you water. Rickie and Cal are pulling weeds and rearranging the tack room. I have my orders from the boss man, and it’s to make sure you sit around with your feet up—and they must be sore if you’re wearing Rickie’s awful almost Uggs.”

Olympia refused to look down.

“Jeez,” Lavonda said, “don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Olympia waved her hand. Today was a bad weepy day. She’d had to turn off the TV when the animal-rescue ads had come on. “Other than my sister and Cal, how is everything? Muffin sorted out? We need to get that horse adopted.”

“I don’t know,” Lavonda said. “He’s messed up. It’s not as if I’ve never been around a horse that bites first and asks questions later, but...”

“A little more time. He’s just so sure that we’re going to treat him badly.” Olympia landed on the couch and put her feet up on the ottoman. Lavonda handed her water and plopped down in the recliner with an iced tea.

“Jessie and I’ve been talking,” Lavonda continued. “We’ve decided that it’s time for an intervention.”

“Intervention? Is this about the pudding?”

“Not this time, but I think Cal will ask me to do that one before long. He’s tired of being out of pudding.” Lavonda took a long sip of tea. Olympia’s worry moved up two notches, and Peanut did a double roll and poke. “Why are you and Spence still pretending that this is a fake marriage?”

“Not fake. Elvis married us for real. It’s just that we have the prenup and addendum for getting out of the marriage gracefully.” She wanted to pat herself on the back for how steadily she’d said that. She’d nearly told Spence to tear up the darned agreement when she’d been in the hospital, which would have been stupid, stupid, stupid, especially since they’d never talked later as he’d promised they would.

Lavonda sat up straight and set down her glass. “You’re sharing a bedroom.”

“But not like that.” Not because she said no. He didn’t offer.

“You’ve obviously done that at some point.”

“Obviously, but that one night does not mean we’re a couple or anything.”

“Possibly. But you’re also raising two kids and have another on the way.”

“Rickie is my sister, and she’s leaving in a few weeks.” That choked Olympia up, and she almost didn’t hear what Lavonda said next.

“If you two don’t figure out your relationship soon, we’re going to lock you in a secluded cabin and not let you out until you go into labor.”

“Excuse me. Are you trying a
Parent Trap
?”

“We’re desperate.”

“Spence and I are okay with the way we’ve set things up. We’ll explain everything to Cal and Rickie. Soon.”

“I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. It was there before you ended up in the hospital, but after that, it’s gotten stronger. You two have changed.”

“By changed, you mean that Spence now feels he has the right to be a dictator?”

“We’re friends, so I’m just going to say this. Apparently, lack of sex makes you mean and nasty and a pudding-eating machine.” Olympia felt a flush of embarrassment race up her face. Her danged body had always acted out of her control around him. After breaking down in the hospital, she’d thought they would finally talk out whatever had been happening between them. Instead, Spence worked longer hours, made more rules about what she could do, slept on the floor and left the house most days before any of them were awake.

Lavonda stared hard at Olympia, her dark eyes intense. “I watched the same thing with Payson and Jessie. I know what lack of bedroom gymnastics does, what denying love—”

“Love?”

“Yes. My God, you two are so obvious. There’s a whole lot more between you than a baby, a little boy, a sister and a ranch.”

“Yeah. A hundred-page agreement.”

“That was then. This is now...and to be honest, you two would never have signed that if you hadn’t felt something for each other. Neither of you are the kind of people who do one-night stands.”

“Are you trying to make me feel worse?”

“I’m trying to help you see what all of us see, which has nothing to do with that agreement. What about Cal and your sister and especially the new baby?”

“Cal wasn’t supposed to be here, and neither was Rickie.”

“Life’s like that, isn’t it? It happens when you have other plans. Are those other plans really working for you now? I know you haven’t talked to that cowgirl up in Flagstaff who’s got a string of barrel racers she’s looking to unload. What have you got? A little more than three months until you have the baby?”

“A lot has been going on.”

Lavonda’s snort sounded a lot like Muffin’s. “I know that you’re not the kind of woman to say one thing and do another...generally. I’m just reminding you of that now. Maybe you and Spence need to throw away those hundred pages of nonsense.”

“That’s the only reason we’ve stayed together.”

“Really? Why do you think he married you?”

“Because he knew me and I was single.”

“He knows a lot of women, including single ones.”

“He knew I was desperate for money. He—”

“The two of you had unfinished business and you know it. You still do. You’re both so worried about what you
think
you should do that you’re missing out on what you have to do to be happy. And not just you, everyone else’s happiness is tied up in this, too.”

“This is just what I was trying to avoid. I’ve put off everything that I’ve wanted to do for other people.”

“You’ve sacrificed for your sisters. No doubt about it. But why? You could have left. You could’ve moved on.”

“Who would have taken care of them?”

“Your mom, foster parents, one of your other sisters.” Lavonda stood and finished her iced tea. “You know all this. You’re a cowgirl who does the tough stuff, and none of this is tough stuff. This is what you want.”

“No. It’s not.”

“Really? You can look at Spence and not think about what you two did at the wedding? You can look at Cal and not think about being there when he gets his first girlfriend, starts to drive—”

“But I’ve waited... I’ve promised—”

“You were promising yourself to be happy and to have what
you
wanted. Now, what do you really want? To live on the road and race? I’ve done it. It’s not as glamorous as you’d think. Or do you want to sleep every night with Spence and work with him to raise your children on this ranch?”

Olympia hauled herself off the couch. While her discussion with Spence at the hospital had made her think about staying with him and the kids, she couldn’t give up on the dream that had gotten her through those cold dark nights in the trailer. Could she still rodeo with the kids? She wasn’t convinced.

“I’ve got to go. Big doings at Hope’s Ride that only a PR guru like myself can take care of.”

Olympia watched her friend leave. What did any of this mean? That Lavonda and Jessie were nosy. That the two of them thought they knew best but didn’t.

“Limpy,” Cal yelled from the kitchen. “Where are my pudding cups? You promised.”

She burst into tears. “I ate all of them,” she sobbed.

Cal appeared in front of her, taking her hand. “It’s okay. I’ll have fruit.” His face twisted in disgust.

Now laughter rolled through her. God, the roller coaster of emotions wouldn’t stop. She knew that she was going crazy. She had to be. It was just that Cal’s dear little face looked so noble in his fruit-eating sacrifice. Could it be that she really wanted to be here for him and the new baby?

“I’m calling Dad,” her stepson said.

“No,” Olympia said, putting her hand on her stomach and calming herself. “This is normal. Let’s go to the store and get more pudding. It’ll be our secret.”

“I know Dad thinks pudding is bad for the baby, but I checked. It’s got calcium, so that’s good.”

“You’re a good big brother,” she said, and choked up a little. But she didn’t feel trapped. She could see a new child and Cal playing together, and that didn’t make her want to run, but she wasn’t sure that it made her want to stay, either.

* * *

I
N
THE
BEDROOM
,
waiting for Spence to get home, her back ached and her feet itched. Tears leaked from her eyes. He’d called hours ago to say that he’d be home late. Olympia knew he was logging extra hours to make up for missed work and to bank goodwill for when the baby was born. Peanut was actually snoozing. Usually, when Olympia lay down, the baby woke up, but the pudding cups had done the trick. Olympia and Cal had laid in a good supply, hiding the cache at the back of the hall closet.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Spence whispered as he opened the door and she started, twisting her body. The movement shot a zing of electric pain up her back, forcing out a high-pitched squeak. “Do I need to call the doctor?” he demanded as he sat down on the side of the bed, his hand going to the baby bump.

“It’s nothing.” She didn’t move his hand as she pushed against the bed to sit up. “You startled me. Just pulled on a muscle. Too much lying around like a lump of lard.”

He still didn’t move away. “How long were you in the barn?”

“I wasn’t—”

“Don’t lie. I can smell it.”

“I walked out with Cal after dinner. He wanted to show me the braid he’d done in Pasquale’s mane. If you’d been here, he’d have taken you instead.”

He stretched out beside her, leaning against the headboard. She noticed that his hair needed a trim and the line between his brows had deepened. “Sorry,” he breathed out. “I know I haven’t been around much—”

She pinched her arm hard to distract herself and to stop the tears from falling, a trick she’d learned as a child. His gaze, darkened with emotion, stayed on her face. She swallowed hard. “Lavonda thinks that I don’t want to rodeo.” Peanut did a somersault and her stomach full of pudding gurgled unpleasantly.

“What does she think you want?” Spence asked slowly, averting his gaze.

“Never mind. I don’t know why I told you that. What difference does it make what she thinks?”

“Why don’t you tell me? You brought it up.”

“Stop being such a lawyer,” she accused. He had a nice life all mapped out, and it didn’t include a trailer-trash cowgirl who thought ramen noodles were foreign food.

“Since I am a lawyer, that’s a specious argument.”

She knew better than most women that happily ever after and men sticking around to be a daddy just didn’t happen, except in fairy-tale movies. The tears streamed down her face faster.

“Shh. We’ll work this out.”

“I’ve dreamed about the rodeo, about leaving Arizona since I was a little girl,” she insisted...to him...to herself.

“I know, but maybe now is the time to give up on that exact dream and face the reality of—”

“I’ve faced down plenty of reality. I was the one who called the ambulance when my sister got so sick she hallucinated,” she said through her tears into the softness of his shirt. “I was the one the police called when they picked Mama up DUI.”

“Oh, honey,” he said softly into her hair as she curled into his side, her face fitting perfectly against his shoulder. Those broad, strong shoulders could stand straight against anything. “I’m sorry you had to do that. You’re amazing, to have lived through all that and not only come out a brave cowgirl but to have raised your sisters to be good women, too.”

“I’m crying my eyes out here. Not very brave,” she said, pressing harder into his shoulder as the tears slowed.

“Brave,” he insisted. “You married a stranger for your sister. You took on this ranch. You took on my son, and you took on Muffin and his love of pastries.” She gave a soggy laugh, and he squeezed her tighter. “Tell me why you don’t want to rodeo.”

She sucked in a breath, trying to organize her thoughts. “It’s not an easy life, you know.” Could it really be that her dream had been wrong all these years? That she’d been focusing on something she’d never actually wanted? “When I was little, I read this book about a famous cowgirl. How she was an orphan and was adopted by a family who made her sleep in the barn and work the horses and cows all the time. She went on to win bronc riding and owned her own ranch. She said that she never let anything or anyone turn her from her goals and her dreams. I wanted to be just like her.”

“She earned the money for everything from the rodeo, so you—”

“Yes, but that’s not why I wanted to rodeo. She talked about how when she was bronc riding or barrel racing or roping, there wasn’t anything but what was in front of her. Her past was gone. When she was in the ring, she wasn’t the little orphan girl. I didn’t want to be one of those James girls. I wanted to leave that in the past.”