The Cougar's Timid Little Lynx (Sweet Water) (5 page)

It had been two days since Luke had sent her flowers, but they were still flourishing, still looking beautiful and reminding her that life wasn’t all ugly, hurtful things, and that there were people out there who were sincere in their actions. Companionship sounded nice, and there had been many times when she had reached for her phone, dialed his number, but hung up before she punched in that last digit. It felt juvenile to her, but as easy as it seemed to call him, she honestly didn’t know what to say. Now, the sun had set, Joey was tucked in bed, and she was sitting all alone at her kitchen table with the flowers staring at her, like a beautiful, frightening reminder of what she was too afraid to even try. Her cell sat in front of her, the screen blank, but her fingers itching to dial. Was this desperate need inside of her only because they were mates, or was it because she was so empty and damaged that the first person to show her any kind of affection was the one she wanted so badly? She was confused, lonely, and scared, but she was also curious about Luke, and if she told him she only wanted a friendship, at the most, would that be enough for him?

She reached for her phone, and not giving herself a moment to let her fear of the unknown consume her, dialed his number
. Punching in that last digit, she exhaled roughly and brought the phone to her ear. It was only about seven in the evening, but on the fifth ring she assumed he either wasn’t home or not answering. She was just about to hang up, a mix of disappointment and relief waging war inside of her, but before she could disconnect Luke answered.

“Hello?” His voice was deep and slightly out of breath, and for just a moment she couldn’t find her voice. “Alice?” Her pulse quickened when he said her name, and then confusion set in.

“Um, yes, but how did you know?” She closed her eyes at how stupid she sounded. He chuckled, and her face heated. Thank God he couldn’t see her humiliation, because it clicked in her head how he knew it was her, but he answered her question regardless.

“Caller ID, Alice.” He chuckled again
, and the sound of water running came through the receiver. “You called.” He sounded a bit surprised, but honestly she was surprised that she had called, too. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to and I’d have to send you another few dozen flowers.” There was a teasing note in his voice, and she couldn’t help but relax slightly.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t sure if I would.” A moment of silence passed before she continued. “The flowers are beautiful
. Thank you very much for them, and Joey thanks you, too, but you didn’t owe me an apology.” Now it was his turn to stay silent for a moment. He exhaled, but it wasn’t one because he was exasperated with her answer, but rather a sigh of … relief? 

“Alice, I didn’t mean to come off like you couldn’t afford to pay the office visit. I realize it was presumptuous of me to even assume you might be okay with the offer. I meant no offense, and a bouquet of flowers is the least I could do.” He cleared his throat
, and she heard some shuffling on the other end.

“Really, you don’t owe me an apology.” She started picking at a slip of paper on the table, her nerves climbing higher and higher until she thought
they would strangle her. She didn’t know what to tell him, or even how much he would understand. Alice knew he was aware of something happening within her, of something from her past that was making her be hesitant, because she had sensed his cougar rise up when she started freaking out. Besides, it wasn’t like she hadn’t let her emotions out there for any shifter to pick up on. It was hard keeping all of that bottled up, and there were times, like when she was in his office, that she just couldn’t get a grasp on it any longer. But what she did know was she at least owed him an explanation, and wanted to tell him where she stood on things between them, but before she could say anything he was speaking again.

“I just want to talk about what we both know is happening.” The unspoken “mate” was left hanging in the air. He was right, and as much as she just wanted to skim over it, she knew this wasn’t a subject that could be ignored by him, or even her. Alice had thought she could have forgotten everything that had happened between her and Luke, and although it hadn’t really been that much of a situation to some, it had been a hell of an encounter for her. But even if Luke hadn’t sent her these flowers, she still wouldn’t have been able to purge him from her mind, and she knew it just wasn’t about him being destined to be her mate. He made her feel things that she never thought possible. The feelings were
ones of warmth and undying acceptance. Despite the fact they had just met, she felt this unbreakable connection to him, even after she had left his presence. And here she was, on the phone with the male that had consumed her thoughts for more days than she even felt comfortable with, and she hadn’t even responded to what he said.

“Yes, I think we should talk.” Because there
were a lot of things he needed to know, things that would probably make him look at her differently, and things that might make him reevaluate if being mated to her was what he really wanted. Alice came with a lot of baggage, a dark past, and a lot of shit that would make any intelligent male run the other direction. For one thing she had this wonderful little girl, and she didn’t know how a male dealt with his mate having a child from another man. The other things could be talked about in person, because she certainly didn’t want to have this conversation on the phone. Alice needed to see his face, and smell his emotions when she broke it all down to him, told him her dirty life and how she was never going to be whole again, not in the way that others were. This was who she was, and she was used to that, accepted it even. The most important thing in her life was Joey, and even if Luke said a friendship with her was okay, she needed to know if he was being genuine, or just placating her for the time being. Those were the things a conversation over the phone couldn’t tell her. It was a strange sensation to have her inner animal so content because of another male, because all it had ever felt when not content around Joey was fear.

“Can I pick you up tomorrow evening, say six? I know this restaurant that Joey would love. It’s in the next town over, Rush Falls, but I promise it will be great.” Alice started picking at the hem of her shirt and worried her bottom lip.

“Maybe I could just meet you there?” She didn’t want to be difficult, but everything seemed like it was going so fast, even something as simple as Luke picking her up.

“Alice, I’m scared
, too, believe it or not, but I want to do this right. I’m not asking for anything you aren’t willing to give, okay? All I want is to pick you up like a gentleman, take you and Joey to have a nice, fun meal, and talk about whatever you want. No pressure, no rush.”

The fact he admitted to his vulnerability had her shoulders relaxing and a bit of her uncertainty leaving. He was just such a big and powerful male, and he had told her he was scared
, too. Her heart also clenched at the knowledge that he was intent on including Joey in what they did, because she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Swallowing roughly, and tightening her hand on the phone, she took another step that would help pave the road to mending her tattered life.

“Okay, we’ll be ready at six.” She swore she could hear his smile through the phone even though he hadn’t said anything yet.

“I’ll see you then, Alice.” She closed her eyes, an automatic reaction she was realizing she had every time he said her name. It was like he was reaching through the receiver and running the pads of his fingers along her body.

“Okay, Luke.” A low growl left him after she said
his
name, and she couldn’t help but feel the slight pleasure that filled her at the fact she had power over him as well.

They hung up
, and she set the phone on the table, staring at it like she expected it to disintegrate into a million pieces. Her whole body tingled, and a myriad of emotions went through her. She was happy that she had found the strength to move forward, to take another life-changing step, but she was also scared and unsure, worried that everything was going to blow up in her face.

Her life had been less than pleasurable, but she couldn’t blame it all on Joshua. Yes, his abuse had crippled her mind, and at times her body, but she had also stayed, too afraid of what was out there in the world, and allowed herself to be the verbal and emotional punching bag of a man she had thought she loved.
Maybe if she had grown up in a different atmosphere, with loving parents she might have been stronger? But then again, maybe not. Things just sometimes happened for no other reason than that was how it was supposed to be. Luke seemed like a good man, at least what she could tell from the short time she was in his presence. But then she thought of Joshua, and how she had thought he was a good man as well. She had been so very wrong about him, and it had only taken that one moment when she gave herself to him for her entire life to change. But it seemed fate had led her right to Luke, and she liked to think that everything she had endured up until that point had been for this one moment, that she might be able to experience a semblance of happiness and adult companionship. Only time would tell.

****

There had never been a time when Luke had been nervous, but right now he was so fucking nervous the rush of adrenalin in his bloodstream made him feel high.

“Luke, you’ll be fine
. Tonight will be fine. You are really freaking yourself out for no reason.” Talia’s voice came through the receiver, and he scrubbed a hand over his face. It was five-thirty in the evening, and here he was, sitting in his car and talking to his sister because he was scared as shit. He had never even felt this way when everything had gone down with Mina. Talia was a level-headed and intelligent female. She was before she became mated with a bear, but she seemed even more so now because of being with Ford. “What I wouldn’t give to see you unraveled like this over a female. I’ve never known you to be less than confident…”

She stopped talking
, and he knew she was thinking about when he had broken his engagement off with Mina. Although he was past all of that know, had no feelings over the human that he thought he loved once but who had pretty much kicked him in the dick, he was still holding onto the anger and hatred that situation had caused inside of him. But for once in his life, and just thinking about Alice, Luke felt all of that shift into something pleasant. Now he felt like some kind of hormonal teenager getting ready to go out on his first date.

“Remember when you took Michelle Harston out to dinner
when you were seventeen, and how nervous you were? I swear you were going to pass out.” There was laughter in Talia’s voice, and Luke couldn’t help but smile at the memory. Talia was always good at making an otherwise uncomfortable situation bearable. He didn’t even know why he was feeling like this. His animal was calm and ready to see its mate, but the human side couldn’t help but feel like he was on pins and needles. Before he could answer her Talia was talking again. “Listen, you know why you’re freaking out, right? The last time you took a female out was when you were with that bitch.”

Talia never said Mina’s name, but after everything that had happened, the way Mina treated his little sister, and all the times she had been made to feel less than the important person she was,
the ugliness had stuck with her, even years later.

“Yeah, I know.” He rubbed his hand over his head, and grabbed a chunk of his short hair
at the base of his skull.

“She’s your mate, Luke, and you have every right to feel
these things. It’s normal. But I have faith that everything will work out. You just have to give it time, be patient, and not second guess yourself.”

After they hung up he let her words sink in. She was right, of course, but he didn’t know if everything would be okay. Tonight he would pick up his mate and her little girl, tell her about the shitty fiancé
e he had and the trust issues he still harbored, and hope she didn’t see him as weak. He also knew tonight would be one of revealing, because she hadn’t said much on the phone, but he had sensed enough in her voice to know that she had a lot of things to say to him as well.

He started the car,
but the feel of his phone vibrating had him grabbing it and answering. “Hello?” He hadn’t looked at the caller ID before answering, very unlike him, and something that proved his head was elsewhere.

“Doctor Landon?” The deep voice was Michael, Shelby’s husband, and although he sounded calm, Luke could sense his nervous energy through the receiver.

“Yes, this is Shelby’s husband?”

“Yeah.?” Obviously something had to happen for him to be calling.

“Everything’s okay, but Shelby wanted me to call you and let you know she won’t be in.” There was a clear smile in Mike’s voice. “We are at the hospital right now, and the baby should be here in the next couple of hours.”

Luke found himself smiling, and after the two men spoke a little more, he hung up. But even the happiness of knowing Shelby was having her baby couldn’t help get rid of the nervous energy that coursed through him. It may have diminished as he heard of someone else’s joy, but as soon as he had hung up he was right back to feeling less than confident. He shifted the car into gear,
gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, and told himself that he needed to get himself under control. If he allowed his uncertainty to come through while he was around Alice, she wouldn’t feel the stability he needed her to sense. It was clear she had a lot going on in her past, and he picked up on enough of the fact that his strength, certainty, and inner animal power calmed her instead of deterred her.