The Cougar's Timid Little Lynx (Sweet Water) (7 page)

White hot anger moved through him, and he wanted blood,
lots of fucking blood, but only if it was that fucker that had hurt her. He saw red, wanted flesh under his nails, between his teeth, and he felt the ripple of his cougar trying to break free. It took all his strength to keep his animal in check, and his body was shaking violently by the time he finally felt the beast relent.

“I’m not saying these things to garner sympathy, but you do need to know why nothing between us but a friendship can ever occur. The day I got the news that Joshua died was one of the best days of my life. How sick does that make me?” She chuckled
, but it wasn’t humorous at all. “He was an alcoholic, and got into a head-on collision with a semi owned by a beer company. How is that for ironic?” She shook her head and glanced down. He wanted to tell her that it was okay to feel relief over his death, that the bastard had deserved far worse than what he got.

Before he could say anything Joey was running up to
Alice and propelled herself into her mother’s arms. His mate hugged the little girl to her chest and stared at him over her head. The smile she gave him broke his fucking heart. “I’m a scarred and ruined female, Luke, and you could do so much better.”

The fact she thought she wasn’t worthy of him or
deserved what could happen between them had raw fury encompassing him. The asshole was lucky he was dead, but Luke would have hunted him down and showed him what it was like to get into a real fight, with a male that could hold his own.

“After Joshua died I
stayed for a little bit to wrap things up. I was never close with his family, and had no ties keeping me there. So, I packed up Joey and came to Sweet Water to start over.” Luke closed his eyes, and the relief and also anger that this prick was dead consumed him. Because truth be told if her ex wasn’t dead, he probably would have killed him with his bare hands.

Joey started talking about her balloon animals, but there was still that tension between them, and no amount of laughter from the children, or the
otherwise joyous atmosphere could diminish that. He shouldn’t have brought her here, not when what they were talking about was so personal and heart-wrenching. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but the waitress chose that moment to shop up with their food. Once their plates were in front of them and they started eating the silence stretched on. Joey was the one light in this otherwise dark situation, but the heavy subject matter left little conversation open between him and Alice.

Once they were all finished eating, Joey kept glancing at the play area. “Momma, can I play some more?”
The interaction between mother and daughter was very strong, and he swore, in that one moment as he watched Alice rub Joey’s cheek, saw the little smile that covered his mate’s face, and felt her love as if it were his own, that Luke had just fallen head over heels for her. It had just taken that one moment for his emotions to switch that rapidly, but he had never welcomed anything more. It stole his breath, rendered him speechless, and had every instinct in him coming to the front. Alice sensed it, lifted her head and stared at him wide-eyed because of it, too.

A suspended moment seemed to pass between them, and he could smell the uncomfortable feeling that came from her.
“No sweetie, I think we should probably head home.” There was a thunderstorm of nonverbal interaction happening between them right now, and all of it was transpiring with just one look. He wouldn’t give up on her, couldn’t, and if being her friend was the only way he could be close to her until he proved how special she was, he would gladly take it.

The ride
back to Alice’s home was also made in silence, and when he pulled into her driveway and cut off the engine they sat there, neither saying a word, and both staring out the front windshield. He could see Joey passed out in the backseat in the rearview mirror, and a smile formed.

“Thank you for tonight. Joey had a great time.” Alice looked over at him, and he inhaled deeply, getting a concentrated whiff of her honeysuckle scent.

“You’re welcome, Alice. I had a great time, too.” She turned to open the door, but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. She tensed instantly and looked over her shoulder at him. “If being your friend is the only thing you have to give right now, I want it, Alice. I want to spend time with you, get to know you and Joey, and want to earn your trust.” He could hear the way her heart started to race. “I wish I could have been there for you, showed you that love isn’t painful, and that if I could go back in time and make sure he never hurt you, I would do it with my last breath.” He could smell the rise of her upcoming tears, but didn’t want her shedding any more. “Please, don’t cry.”

And before
he even realized what she was doing she had her arms around his neck and her head pressed against her chest. For a solid minute he couldn’t move, because he was so stunned by her sudden action. Just when she went to pull away he wrapped his arms around her, and kept her safely against his body. He moved his head closer to her neck, closed his eyes, and let himself the pleasure of inhaling her scent right from the source. Her skin was just as soft as it looked, and he brushed the tip of his nose against her.

“Thank you, Luke.” She pulled back and quickly moved to her side of the seat. Even in the darkness he saw her cheeks turn pink.

“Why are you thanking me?” His voice was husky, but that was because there was so much emotion going through him right now that his damn throat was threatening to close.

She didn’t even hesitate when she said, “Because you showed me that not all men express their
‘love’ with fists and hurtful words.” She looked down and grabbed the straps of her purse in her hand tightly. “So you see what I mean when I say I am just not right for you, Luke.” He forced his hands into fists and kept them on his thighs or he would have reached out for her and pulled her to him once more, but as the seconds ticked by he said fuck it and grabbed her hands. She looked at him a bit shocked, and he brought her knuckles to his mouth and kissed every single one of them.

“What was that for?” Her voice was soft, breathy.

“For showing me that not all females are heartless and cold.” He hadn’t told her about Mina yet, but he would, because he wouldn’t keep anything from her either. She had opened up to him, and he would do the same, but enough information had been expressed tonight.

“I better get Joey inside
,” she said, but still allowed him to hold onto her hands.

Luke placed her hands back in her lap and climbed out of the car. Before she could open her door he was there, helping her out of the car and loving how she
allowed him to do these small things for her. She started to open the back door, but he stopped her by gently taking hold of her shoulder. His hand seemed to engulf her, and a surge of masculine appreciation powered through him, as well as a wreath of other emotions he had never felt before. He would protect her, cherish her, and always make her feel worthy.

“Let me get her.” For a moment he thought she might argue, but she nodded and took a step back. He reached in, scooped Joey up in his arms, and took a second to look down at her. She was so tiny, and he tightened his hold on her, feeling the parental protectiveness to make sure she was never subjected to
the ugliness the world had to offer. They made their way up to the porch, but instead of trying to take Joey from his arms she opened the door and gestured for him to come in. She led him down a short hallway, and when they stepped into Joey’s room there was a moment of sadness as he looked around. Aside from the twin sized bed, a small box of toys with some dolls scattered around it, and the overwhelming scent of vanilla, which he had recognized as Joey’s unique aroma, he wouldn’t have thought this barren room was for a child. In fact, he noticed every room they passed was bare, and he didn’t think it was because she hadn’t unpacked everything.

After tucking
in Joey he followed Alice to the front door. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her, but he knew the night had been draining on her, and Luke had a lot of pent-up aggression from hearing her story. He needed to either kick someone’s ass or work out. The former didn’t sound like it would go over very well since he knew he wouldn’t be able to control his cougar from tearing the other guy in two. Not to mention he was a physician in Sweet Water and was held to higher standards. He couldn’t go around kicking people’s asses, that was for damn sure.

“Thank you again for tonight.”

He looked down at her and smiled. “Thank you for coming with me, and for bringing Joey. It looks like she had a nice time.”

She nodded.
“Yes, she really did. I know I’ll be hearing about it for a while.” She cleared her throat. “Well—”

“I had a nice time, Alice, and I’d like to do it again soon, if you’d like.”

She was quiet for far longer than he was comfortable with, but then she finally looked at him.

“You still want to see me, even after everything I
told you?” He nodded, not trusting his voice. “And you’re okay with us only being friends?” He nodded again, because if that was all she could give him right now then he would take it. He had patience, and he wouldn’t give up, especially when it concerned his mate.

“Yes, Alice, I definitely want to see you again. I’d like to get to know you, and vice versa. I have a past, too, and I want to show you all of me.” She didn’t respond right away, but when she smiled at him he actually placed his hand on his chest, right over his heart. It was in that moment, as he stared down at her, inhaled he scent, and looked at everything that made up his mate, that he would do anything for her: maiming, killing, destroying, and loving. Everything he was he would gladly give to her.

****

Alice closed the
front door and leaned against it, closing her eyes as she let Luke’s words play through her mind.

“I have a past, too, and I want to show you all of me.”

His power was right below the surface, ready to emerge, yet he was so kind with her and so gentle with Joey. He was perfect in every way, and that made it even harder for her to tell him all the things she had said. But there hadn’t been any disgust from him when she revealed her past. In fact, his rage had been so thick she had noticed several shifters glance their way at the restaurant, sensing what humans couldn’t. But the fierce protectiveness that had come from him was like a blast in the face, and it had all been for her and Joey. How she wanted to just cave and give herself to him, but that would be disastrous. She could never be the female he needed or deserved. There were just too many reminders on her body from Joshua’s “love”, and her mind was just as scarred. If she even allowed herself to go there with him how could she be with him in the literal sense? She couldn’t stand to look at herself in the mirror, let alone even think of having another male look at her. Joshua hadn’t just hurt her physically. He had also cut her down about her weight on a daily basis. Even after his death she still looked at herself with disgust, and knew it would be a long time before she could heal, if she even could.

Her thoughts had her moving toward the bathroom and turning on the light. She looked at her reflection, all of the hurtful, nasty words that Joshua had always said filling her mind in a vile, toxic swamp that tried to suck her under. She took her shirt off and moved closer to the mirror, bracing her hands on the sink. She had let her dark hair hang free tonight, and the waves fell around her shoulders. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her skin looked too pale under the harsh lighting. If they weren’t mates, Alice knew Luke couldn’t have been attracted to her. Joshua’s words played over and over in her head, and a sour taste filled her mouth.

“You’re lucky I’m staying with your fat ass.”

“You think anyone would want you with those stretch
marks and spare tire around your middle?”

“God, Alice, you really fucking disgust me sometimes.”

She ran her finger along the biggest scar Joshua had given her. It had been the night he raped her, and the same night she conceived Joey. He had been drunk, which had become the norm on a nightly basis. He had thought it would be fun to tie her to the bed and run a knife over her body, and then he had gotten carried away. She pushed that nasty thought out of her head. It had been six months since he died, and every day she thanked whoever was willing to listen that they had taken him away for good. She touched the thin, white stretch marks that circled her belly button. She had gotten them when she was pregnant, and she would never regret them. Never. No matter what Joshua had told her.

The bruises had healed, and so had the torn and chafed skin every time Joshua wanted to restrain her and show her that he was stronger
, even if she was a shifter. But Alice had never been a normal shifter, not in the sense of letting her inner animal out. In all regards she really was like a human. There were two smaller cuts on her left side from when she had stood up to him, and he had once again proved to her that she was so very weak. Her animal had even been too battered to come forward, but it wouldn’t have mattered, because even as a human Joshua had been strong, almost as powerful as a male shifter.

She quickly covered herself up, got ready for bed, and knew that it was going to be damn hard to only stay friends with Luke.
But then she thought of actually being with him, of letting him see her naked body, and humiliation filled her. He made her feel so good, so happy, and made Joey smile. How could she turn away from something like that? The bigger question was, would she continue to let Joshua control her life from the grave?