The Cowboy's City Girl (12 page)

“And you will only marry for love?” He had to know her feelings. A horse in the nearby pasture snorted. A crow cawed from the trees. But between Beatrice and himself, there hung a long silence.

She stared past him, though there was nothing behind him but the wall. “I see no reason to marry. I plan to be independent.”

Her words twisted through his heart. He wondered if she knew how sad and lonely she sounded. Recalling her earlier words, he raised a question. “Didn't you say love was worth a risk?” Why did he want to defend love? Maybe because of Maisie and Big Sam. Their love was beautiful and grew more so as time passed. He would wish the same for Beatrice. But not for himself? No! Because he knew love was a dangerous thing. It broke hearts. And yet he wanted to prove otherwise to her.

He almost missed the look of fear and pain in her eyes before she quelled it.

“I guess I'm a coward. I'm not willing to trust love again.”

“Again? You've been in love?” The idea stung deep inside.

She stared into the distance.

“I'd really like to know,” he said softly, invitingly. He caught her hand, knowing a sense of rightness when she didn't pull away.

* * *

Beatrice wanted to run. Go to her bedroom and hide behind the closed door. Go anywhere but here, where she teetered between protecting her heart and opening it to Levi. It was the gentle pressure of his hand on hers that riveted her to the spot and opened the floodgates of her pain.

“I fancied myself in love with a man. Henry St. James. He did not meet my father's requirements for a suitor, but I thought our love was strong enough that Henry would defy my father in order to court me.” She dreamed of even more—marriage, love, family and being valued. “I was wrong. My father gave him a sum of money to stop seeing me and he took it only too gladly.”

Levi squeezed her fingers. “The man must have been blind. Not to mention greedy.”

She nodded. Hearing his words, believing them did not ease the pain. Nor did it soften the shell encircling her heart. Though she thought she detected cracks in it and quickly mended them. “How can I trust love? My suitors are looking at monetary reward. I thought a man unlike the ones my father chose for me would be different, but he also saw me as the source of financial benefit.” That wasn't the only reason she couldn't trust love. Deep in the bottomless pit of her heart she found the real reason and admitted it. Her parents didn't value her for just being her. Her suitors didn't see her as who she was. Henry had only pretended he cared about the person she believed herself to be.

Could she trust anyone to see her for what she was?

Did she even know who or what she was, apart from the role her parents had fashioned for her? She could only be certain if she proved to herself she was a person in her own right and she could only do that by standing on her own two feet. “I need independence. Not love or marriage.” Even as she said the words, the shell around her heart threatened to shatter. She wanted love but could she trust it until she was confident of her own value?

Why was it the very thing she wanted she must reject or else live the rest of her life wondering if she was capable of being a real person?

Levi dropped her hand. “I forgot about poor old Scout. I need to unsaddle him.” He went to his horse.

She'd disappointed him by denying she needed love. But she could not say otherwise. Life was too uncertain.

He never made it to the horse but returned to her side and caught her by the shoulders. His dark eyes held hers like a vise.

She tried to swallow. Couldn't. Her throat had constricted. Her mouth had gone dry. She felt his look clear to her heart. Felt dormant areas there springing to life.

She tried to reason away those thoughts but failed.

He lowered his gaze to her lips.

She knew his intention. Knew she should stop him. But something inside called for affection. Maybe even love.

He lowered his head, caught her lips in a tender, sweet kiss that made no demands and offered no promises. “I think you want more than you will allow yourself. Maybe love is a risk worth taking,” he said, his voice husky, and then he caught up Scout's reins and crossed toward the barn.

She clutched her hands to her chest as pain and hope knifed through her. Never before had she felt such a jolt in her heart. His words and his kiss had split her protective shell wide open. Why had he thrown her own words back at her when he didn't believe them? Or was he starting to think love was worth the risk?

Did she?

She heard her father's words. “You're of no use to me as a girl. The least you can do is marry a man who will become my son,” he'd said. She had to be more. Not until she proved she could manage on her own would she believe it.

Thunder shook the ground. She glanced upward. Not a cloud marred the blue sky. And it didn't feel like thunder. It kept increasing in volume. She looked toward the sound. Dust rose from a bunch of horses, with men on their backs.

Maisie was home alone and Dolly sat undefended in front of the house. Beatrice picked up her skirts and ran. Before she reached the house she saw a dozen or more horses milling around the barn. Several men had dismounted.

Her heart lodged in her throat. Her steps faltered. Were these the men responsible for the damage she and Levi had just cleaned up?

Were they going to hurt Levi? She wanted to call out a warning but must protect Dolly and forced her feet to continue.

Dolly sat in the yard, her eyes wide as moons, Smokey clutched in her arms.

Beatrice scooped her up and rushed to the door. A big man reached for the handle. She almost stumbled. “Wait. Who are you and what do you want?” Where was Levi? Or Charlie? How could she defend herself or Dolly and Maisie against all these men?

The big man looked her up and down. “I might ask you the same thing.”

Her knees buckled. She insisted they stand firm. Levi left the barn and headed toward them. Never before had she been so glad to see a man and so certain he would protect her.

Levi went to the big man's side. “Pa, welcome home. May I introduce Miss Beatrice Doyle, niece to Pastor Gage's wife. And this is Dolly. Beatrice, meet my father, Big Sam.”

His father! Her fear leaked out so quickly that she had to stiffen her arms to keep from letting Dolly slip to the ground.

“Pleased to meet you.” The big man held out his hand.

She shifted Dolly so she could reach out to the man. His engulfed her smaller hand.

“Levi, what's going on?” Big Sam asked.

“Maisie...”

Big Sam leaned forward. “What about Maisie?”

“Sam? Sam, is that you?” Maisie's voice came from inside the house.

“Where are you? Why aren't you here?” Not waiting for an answer, Big Sam burst through the door. “What's going on?” His roar made Beatrice want to cover her ears.

Dolly shuddered and buried her face against Beatrice's neck. “It's okay,” Beatrice murmured. “No one will hurt you.” She'd make sure of that. She glanced at Levi.

He patted Dolly's back. “That's my papa. He wouldn't hurt anyone.” He rocked his head back and forth. “I wouldn't care to be in Maisie's shoes right now. Big Sam won't be happy.”

If Levi meant to reassure Dolly, Beatrice thought, he shouldn't sound so morose. She could not make out the words of Maisie's gentle reply. Then a deep rumble as Sam answered. She grinned. “I think Maisie has calmed him.”

He rolled his eyes. “That's love for ya.”

She laughed. Their gazes caught and held. She knew hers revealed more than it should. The longing to know the kind of love that conquered anger and turned into quiet concern. That gave a person the confidence to be themself. She tried to stem the thoughts. Love was not for everyone.

She read his own denial of love. How strange that each of them tried to convince the other to believe in love, yet were unwilling to do so themselves.

Levi indicated they should enter the house, where she saw Big Sam lean over Maisie and kiss her. The color in Maisie's cheeks matched the rose bouquet in the middle of the table and her eyes sparkled.

Big Sam turned to Beatrice. “Maisie tells me you've been a great help. I thank you. I hope you'll find it in your heart to stay until she is able to get around again.”

Beatrice tipped her head. “I'll stay if you want, though I warn you I am inexperienced.” If he let her stay she would do her best to leave the place able to say otherwise. She ignored the sting behind her heart at knowing she would leave.

“Maisie says you're a quick learner and she's enjoyed your company.”

Somewhere in the distance a door slammed and an angry voice could be heard. Big Sam looked out the window. “Soupy is waving the broom like he's on the warpath. Something going on I should know about?”

“Yeah, Pa.” Levi filled him in on the mischief the intruders had caused. “They always seem to know when me and Charlie are away. I've tracked them but their trail always disappears in the river or on rocks.”

“Who is doing this?”

Levi lifted his hands in an I-don't-know gesture.

Big Sam crisscrossed the room in long strides until Maisie caught his hand.

“Stop pacing. Sit down.” She patted the chair beside her and he sat, though he looked like he would jump up any minute.

“I don't like it,” Big Sam said. “I'll post a guard at all times. Let's go have a look and see what they've been up to.” He grabbed his hat and headed for the door.

Levi didn't immediately follow but crossed to where Beatrice stood, Dolly in her arms. He touched the little girl's head. “You're okay?”

Dolly nodded and gave him a shy smile.

Levi waited.

Beatrice realized he wanted a response from her, as well. “We're fine.” Did he think she would be changed after their kiss? Dare she admit, even to herself, that she might be? Not that it made any difference to what she must do.

Oh, if only she could trust that anyone would see her the way she wanted to be seen.

Levi turned and followed his father.

Beatrice drew in a satisfying breath then realized she had another mouth to feed and surely Big Sam must consume a lot of food.

“Dolly, how would you like to help me make supper?”

Dolly nodded and Beatrice put her down.

“What shall I make?”

Maisie gave her directions and she began to prepare the meal. She needed to concentrate on what she was doing, which left her little time to think about the afternoon.

Even so, she managed to glance out the window many times, watching as Levi and his father toured the place, often stopping to study something and talk.

From there, it was only too easy to think about the way Levi had kissed her.

What did his kiss mean?

What did she want it to mean?

Nothing, she told herself again and again. She would not allow herself to again believe a man could see her for who she was.

Chapter Ten

L
evi followed his pa around the place, pointing out the mischief the intruders had done. All the while, his thoughts kept returning to the cookhouse, where Soupy was still slamming things. Only it wasn't Soupy he thought of. It was Beatrice and the way he'd kissed her.

If not for the fact that it would invite questions from Big Sam, Levi would have pounded the heel of his hand on his forehead. What had he been thinking? It wasn't as if any romance could exist between them. She was very clear that she meant to pursue her own goals.

Not that he had any interest in a romantic relationship. There were far too many reasons to avoid it. She was a city girl. He a half-breed. She'd soon enough learn that association with him would mark her. She was used to being part of high society and he would never be welcomed into that circle.

He'd meant the kiss to make her realize how much she deserved love. And to somehow make up for the way her parents and her former beau had treated her. As if she was nothing more than a valuable object. But his mental arguments did nothing to eradicate the way his heart had bounced up and down at the gentle kiss. Nor did it stop the way his heart continued to jump at the mere thought of the kiss. And the possibility of another.

No. There would be no other kiss. For his sake and for hers. He must remember how vastly different their lives were.

The supper bell rang and Big Sam left off his questions about the intruders and headed for the house like a man who hadn't eaten in days. Levi knew better. Soupy had gone along with Pa and the crew and their meals would have been more than adequate.

No, Pa was in a hurry to get back to Maisie.

Levi kept in step with Big Sam. Not that he was in a hurry to see anyone.

If only he could convince himself of that fact.

* * *

The next morning, Pa decided to check all the fences around the place and make sure all the doors on the barn and outbuildings were secure. Levi could have told him he'd already done that, but he didn't mind being kept busy within sight of the house, which allowed him to watch Beatrice work without her being aware of his attention.

It being Monday, she tackled the laundry. Laundry was hard. He knew she'd never done it before. When she dragged a heavy sheet to the line he almost went to her rescue even though he knew she would not welcome his interference. She had a need to prove she could manage on her own.

She wrestled the sheet to the line, pinned it there and steadfastly continued.

He let his waiting lungs release air.

A sweet sound reached him. He tipped his head to listen to her sing as she worked. She had a lovely voice. Sweet and rich, like thick cream on warm chocolate cake. He could listen to her sing all day.

“Levi, did you reinforce those hinges?” Pa called and Levi turned away from watching Beatrice to return to his task. Listen to her all day? How could he think such a thing knowing she had plans that took her away from the ranch? And he had no such plans.

She did not belong on a ranch. And most decidedly did not deserve a place in his heart.

No piece of his heart would ever again be given to another. It was a matter of survival.

He added another nail to the door hinge, the pound of the hammer drowning out her voice. When he finished he could still hear her. He stopped and listened. He might deny a lot of things but he couldn't deny the pleasure of listening to her sing. Nor could he deny the pleasure of spending time with her, hearing her description of the world around them, watching the way she smiled at Dolly, enjoying the way she moved about the kitchen as she worked. Nor could he deny the pleasure of kissing her.

He needlessly pounded at a nail. If he let himself grow more interested in her he would soon enough find his heart ripped to shreds. He'd survived losing his ma. Survived almost losing Maisie. Barely survived losing Helen and, worse, hearing the truth about her feelings toward him. He would not survive another heartbreak. Or more accurately, didn't want to test the idea. No, he would guard his heart against further rejection and hurt. Not only that, but he would also protect Beatrice from the cruelty of the comments that association with him would bring.

Pa decided he wanted a smaller pen for the brood mares and over the next few days, Levi poured his thoughts and energy into building fences. He might have succeeded in pushing Beatrice from his mind except for the fact she was there when he went in for meals. And she went from the house to the garden, from the house to the pigpen to dump the slop bucket, from the house to the chicken house to gather eggs, from the house to a growing spot inside his heart, where she seemed to have taken up residence against his better judgment.

He'd ask Pa to send him to one of the far line cabins, but something stubborn and stupid inside him wouldn't allow him to do so.

Friday dawned bright and clear. Since breakfast, Levi had laid out planks for the fence, driving long spikes into them with deadly blows of his hammer. He'd worked so hard at not looking toward the house that his back ached and he used the pain as an excuse to straighten. Could he help it if the house was in his line of sight? Beatrice bent over the rosebush, smelling one of the pink blossoms. She wore a pink dress that matched the color of the roses. Her blond hair had been twisted into some kind of pretty roll at the back of her head, but strands of it drifted about her face. She tucked a strand behind her ear as she straightened.

She turned and looked in his direction.

Even across the distance he felt her golden-brown eyes searching. For what, he could not say. He'd done his best to avoid her, running from his feelings, pretending his kiss hadn't meant far more than he meant it to. To him, at least. He couldn't say what it meant to her.

Was she aware of his avoidance or did she put it down to Big Sam's return?

He gave a little wave and bent over his work again.

Had he ever felt so keenly aware of everything Helen did? Been so attracted to her voice, her movements, her observations of nature and her assessments of the ranch?

Of course not. She knew the ranch and ranch work as well as he. Things in nature that Beatrice commented on, Helen had known all her life.

Another demanding question surfaced. Had he ever missed Helen the minute she stepped out of sight? He would not answer the question.

Aren't I supposed to be guarding my heart?

He would continue to do so. He must.

He might have succeeded in pretending he wasn't so keenly aware of Beatrice except he heard the concern in her voice when she called, “Dolly?”

His hammer dropped to the ground as he straightened to stare across the yard to her.

She hurried from one spot to the next, calling the child.

His nerves twitched and he trotted to the house. “What's wrong?”

She grabbed his arm, her eyes wide. “I can't find Dolly. She was here a moment ago.”

“She won't have gone far.” The child never wandered. She only left Beatrice's side to play outside with the kitten and even then remained by the door. He called her name. “We won't hear her if she answers. Not unless she decides to speak above a whisper.”

“What if...?” They looked at each other with the same thought. What if the intruders had taken her?

“They've never done anything more than mischief.” Somehow he felt it was a personal attack directed at him. The fact there had been no sign of them since Pa returned reinforced the thought. Someone seemed to delight in tormenting him.

Of course, if they'd seen him playing with Dolly, they might understand he cared about the child and think to hurt him by taking her.

He bent over and studied the tracks in the dust. It wasn't hard to pick out Dolly's. “She headed for the trees here. Let's see where she went.” He reached for Beatrice's hand, relieved when she took it. He'd wondered if she might try to keep a safe distance between them after he'd kissed her.

Just as he meant to. But present circumstances overrode the need.

They entered the wooded area behind the house. The ground crackled under their feet—it was dry and dusty after a long, hot summer. It yielded no sign of Dolly.

“Can you see her tracks?” Beatrice asked, her voice thin with worry.

“She was headed this way.” He pushed aside a low-hanging branch and held it for Beatrice to follow. Her pink-rose scent wafted to him and he turned. “We'll find her.” He would do anything to ease the pinched look about Beatrice's eyes.

She searched his gaze, at first uncertain and afraid, and then she nodded, confidence easing the strain in her eyes. “Then let's do it. The poor child will be so afraid.”

Squeezing her hand, they forged onward, calling Dolly but more often pausing to listen, knowing they would never hear her whisper. Crows flew from the trees, cawing a loud protest. Overhead, a flock of geese honked as they flew by in a V.

But they heard no little girl.

He stopped. “I can't believe she would have gone this far. Let's search closer to the house.”

They searched through the tangled underbrush. But back at the yard, they had not found her.

“I'm worried,” Beatrice said.

“Me, too. But we will find her. I promise you.”

“What if...?”

His jaw clenched. “We will find her.” If those men had taken her, he would follow them to the ends of the earth. “Let's try that direction.”

She tugged on his hand and stopped him. “We need help.”

He glanced past her toward the barn. Pa was nowhere to be seen and the cowboys were all away. “There's only Soupy.”

She looked toward the sky. “We need God's help.”

“You're right.” He clasped both her hands to his chest as he bowed his head. “God of all creation, You see everything, including a lost little girl. Please guide us to her. Amen.”

“Amen,” Beatrice repeated.

They stood with hands together for another heartbeat, strength and assurance flowing through him. And something more. A fierce protectiveness toward Dolly. He would keep her safe. He'd do the same for Beatrice, only he didn't have the right. And she would not give it to him.

They again entered the trees, searching for the child.

He stopped and looked at a bent branch. “She came this way.”

“Dolly,” they called in unison, their gazes catching as they waited for any answer, even though they didn't expect one.

With a jolt, he realized he had never felt so connected, so in tune with anyone before as he did to Beatrice at this moment. It was only mutual concern for a frightened child, he insisted. But it was more. It was like they could communicate without the use of words.

Like Maisie and Big Sam did.

The thought slammed into his mind and he jerked his gaze away. He caught a movement in the distance. “That wasn't leaves.” He pointed in the general direction. But it was too far above the ground to be Dolly. Were the intruders lying in wait for him?

He drew Beatrice behind him and eased forward. In twenty feet he knew what he saw and it wasn't intruders. It was one little girl huddled in a branch about ten feet from the ground.

Beatrice saw her, too, and would have rushed forward but he held her back. “We don't want to frighten her and make her fall.”

She stopped and called softly, “Dolly, are you okay?”

Dolly shook her head no.

Levi and Beatrice edged closer.

“Can you get down?” he asked.

Again she shook her head.

He reached up toward her. “Jump and I'll catch you.”

She shook her head. “Smokey,” she whispered, pointing above her head.

Smokey sat on a branch higher up. Levi couldn't tell if the kitten was afraid to come down or content to be sitting there. “You come down first and then I'll get the kitten down.”

“You don't need to be afraid,” Beatrice soothed. “You know Levi will keep you safe.”

His insides swelled at her confidence in him. He would keep both of them safe if he had the right.

And if he didn't mean to keep his heart from danger.

Ignoring the obvious that Dolly could have been hurt and that would have touched his heart deeply, he lifted his arms toward the child. “Let go and let me catch you.”

Dolly edged forward.

Beatrice gasped. “Please be careful,” she whispered, more for her sake, Levi thought, than for the child's.

Dolly clung to the trunk of the tree.

“You have to let go to get down.”

Dolly's eyes widened and she shook her head.

“I'll have to go get her,” Levi told Beatrice.

She caught his arm. “Please be careful.”

He took a minute to enjoy the concern in her eyes before he stepped on the lowest branch and pushed upward. He edged between branches and climbed to another. The branches were far enough apart to allow Dolly to climb upward, but didn't allow much room for a grown man.

A branch caught his hat and sent it spiraling to the ground, where Beatrice picked it up.

He shifted and a dry branch jammed into his cheek. He felt the wet trickle of blood. He was now close enough to reach Dolly and pried her from her perch. With a whimper, she wrapped her arms around him and held on.

The poor child trembled with emotion. He realized he did, too. If something happened to her...

He could not let that thought go any further and he held her close with his free arm, her breath warm against his neck. It took a few seconds for his heart to beat normally again, sending strength to his limbs.

The way she clung, he was free to use both hands in descending.

He dropped to the ground in front of Beatrice and pried Dolly from his neck. “You have to let me go so I can get Smokey.”

Dolly shifted into Beatrice's arms, clinging to her neck as she'd clung to Levi's.

Levi cupped his hand over the little girl's head, gave Beatrice a smile full of promise then climbed the tree again, careful to avoid the branch that had scratched him on his first ascent. He reached Smokey.